I had a couple of weird dreams last night: 1) I found myself in front of a Freemason temple on a residential street. Some nerd recited a weird greeting that was obviously fishing for a password. Instead, I introduced myself. We then went to the back room to watch a cartoon of King Tut. At a scene where it revealed a secret key in the tomb, another nerd next to me exclaimed, "The key!" 2) I was watching a Capoeira performance. Some random black dude - whom I feel I've seen before in real life, but don't know where - tried to lick my face and I took him down and then applied an armbar. He tried to complain to my mommy, but she just supported me. End of dreams.
I earned $5.80 today at the recycling center.
At Hot Topic, the chick Ciera - whom I'm not attracted to, yet somehow once had a dream that she was orally copulating me - was working.
CIERA: Did you need help with anything?
INNER RYAN: Why the hell did I ever have a dream that you were orally copulating me?
RYAN: Are you handing out any candy?
CIERA: Sorry, no, because ... blah, blah, blah ... We were supposed to buy some, but I don't know what happened ... blah, blah, blah ...
Anyway, was I able to go Trick-or-Treating this year? Yes, albeit with "WTF?" looks from almost everybody since I started without a mask. I busted out the shirt that reads, Just Give Me The Damn Candy. Although, I've actually been wearing that shirt almost everyday for the month of October. A chick at some "gold for money" vendor booth at the mall refused to give me candy at first ... until I turned up the charm and got the damn candy!
I came across my deceased friend Max's mom, sister and the niece he never got to meet! I haven't seen them since I last visited Max's grave last 6/11/11. I waved at 2-year-old Sophie Max (middle-named after him). She shied away. Cute. Only then did I feel guilty about taking away candy from children by Trick-or-Treating myself.
I eventually put on a Jason hockey mask from Friday the 13th that I bought back in 2004. But in my case, it made me Casey Jones from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! At Barnes & Noble, the old lady at the front desk on the third floor gave me stickers.
RYAN: (In Christian Bale's Batman voice) Do you have any candy?
OLD LADY: I don't think so, but I'm handing out stickers.
RYAN: That security guard downstairs lied!
OLD LADY: Oh, well you tell that security guard to stop lying!
But another employee directed me to the Nook in the middle of the third floor where I shadowed the employee chick there, waiting until she was done trying to sell something called an "e-reader." She finally saw me, gave me candy, and all the lost children wandering around rushed over! I proverbially broke the ice! Meanwhile, that ethnically ambiguous Monica was working, but without her usual glasses. I have to admit she looks more jackoffable with the geek chick look.
Anyway, I hit up a couple more houses for candy in the nearby residential area. One house probably gave me half their stash since it looks like hardly anyone was Trick-or-Treating. And then I changed out of my costume - or rather took off the mask and put a jacket over the Just Give Me The Damn Candy shirt - and met mommy at In-N-Out for dinner.
I came home to catch The Muppets guest-starring on a Halloween edition of WWE RAW. And then it was time to go to the gym to finally get back into Parkour shape, beginning with basic rolls.
Monday, October 31, 2011
Sunday, October 30, 2011
"The new #1!"
CHICK WITH VAGINA TATTOO: (Refering to Ryan) I'm kind of turned on by this guy.
I was at a house party last night as a half naked Gladiator. Jun was there. Small world. I haven't seen him since Renaissance Faire. (See entry 5/7/11.) I'm happy to see him partying on his own. Eugene and Stefanie make him out to look like he doesn't get out much without them. Anyway, this chick with a vagina tattoo caught me off guard when wanting to shake hands as I finished off a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup ...
CHICK WITH VAGINA TATTOO: Why are your fingers sticking out?
RYAN: (With sticky fingers avoiding her hand while in handshake) I just ate some candy.
She then sucked on my fingers.
CHICK WITH VAGINA TATTOO: Are you wearing contacts?
RYAN: What makes you say that?
CHICK WITH VAGINA TATTOO: ... You're too pretty.
She and another dude (practically the millionth guy I've met named Chris) would get the cops called on us when they had a contest of who could scream, "Penis" the loudest. Although, it was partly my fault as I inspired it with, "Anytime a girl says, 'Penis,' it's always funny." This was while doing shots of Lychee sake, a bottle of which the nice host opened when asking if I needed anything. (I can't believe we finished it.)
But the highlight of the entertainment: Some Filipino dude (practically the billionth Chris I've ever met), with a white contact lens on his left eye, walking on the sidewalk was taken in as a guest. Apparently, he had gotten kicked out of a party for not being of African descent and was just waiting for the first person on the street to give him a wrong look so that he could beat him up, a story that he would drunkenly repeat over fifteen times according to the dude in a Roman costume.
Speaking of which, the dude in a Roman costume was playing a game, unofficially entitled "The New #1," wherein he would rank the night's top five comments. By the time I left, his top rated comment was ...
SOME GIRL: Gabe pants'd [Ryan], but I think it backfired because everyone got intimidated afterward.
DUDE IN ROMAN COSTUME: New #1!
Although, most of the top rated comments were said by the Filipino stranger. At one point, the dude in the Roman costume couldn't even put down his raised index finger - indicating, "New #1" - fast enough before the Filipino dude drunkenly spurted out a new top rated comment. Interesting: This Filipino drunkard was able to slowly guess Jun's costume (Steampunk) on the first try, but couldn't guess our ethnicities when it was the same as his! He also accidentally offended this Japanese girl in a Kung Fu Panda outfit with something like, "Your country makes my video games!" (DUDE IN ROMAN COSTUME: New #1!) At least he said we were the nicest people he's ever met in his ten years living in Burbank.
Gumby texted me at 3:00AM because the party he was at was broken up by police. I called him back.
GUMBY: Is the party you're in still happenin'?
RYAN: (Looking at the passed out people) ... No.
When the chick with the vagina tattoo was leaving, she hugged me. But as she was about to let go, suddenly hugged me tighter, snorting my hair. OK, I had been a hard ass thwarting her flirty attempts. But with that, I finally let her into my database. Moral of the story: To the more evolved males, it takes more than just being scantily clad. Persistence and searching for the "on button" are the key.
I got home at 4:00AM. The parallelism between us just hit me: She's above average at best, but overcompensates by not wearing much. Likewise, because I'm nothing without my fucktastic1 hair and most gorgeous eyes2, I must show as much of my lean 12% body fat skin as possible. With solace in our common ground, and with her tighter hug to snort my hair still fresh in mind, I busted a #3 while screaming her name (which is the same as my BFF's, but to avoid confusion with my BFF). I slept well.
I had a couple of weird dreams at night: 1) I was in my bed, but so were other random people next to me. A full bearded, white guy to my left introduced himself as Joe Stevenson. He did a magic trick claiming I can see Jesus, but "no guarantees." He flexed his bicep in front of the sunroof on the ceiling. The sun then sailed from left to right, driving out the gloominess, and receded when he stopped flexing. I ran down Brand Boulevard on the Church corner to spread the news. 2) At night, I was running through this residential area with a cul-de-sac to meet up with Capoeira classmates Jesse, Stephanie and Kevin. End of dreams.
An alarm clock had to wake me up for Church at noon. I spent the afternoon catching up on the UFC fights from last night.
Mommy and I had dinner at Cheesecake Factory. We had frozen yogurt at Pinkberry. I had a small PB+J while mommy had plain peanut butter. Mental note: I need to go back for the pumpkin flavor.
1An adjective that a brunette cougar named Babs coined to describe my hair.
2A phrase that a sorority chick named Kaylee used to describe my eyes.
I was at a house party last night as a half naked Gladiator. Jun was there. Small world. I haven't seen him since Renaissance Faire. (See entry 5/7/11.) I'm happy to see him partying on his own. Eugene and Stefanie make him out to look like he doesn't get out much without them. Anyway, this chick with a vagina tattoo caught me off guard when wanting to shake hands as I finished off a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup ...
CHICK WITH VAGINA TATTOO: Why are your fingers sticking out?
RYAN: (With sticky fingers avoiding her hand while in handshake) I just ate some candy.
She then sucked on my fingers.
CHICK WITH VAGINA TATTOO: Are you wearing contacts?
RYAN: What makes you say that?
CHICK WITH VAGINA TATTOO: ... You're too pretty.
She and another dude (practically the millionth guy I've met named Chris) would get the cops called on us when they had a contest of who could scream, "Penis" the loudest. Although, it was partly my fault as I inspired it with, "Anytime a girl says, 'Penis,' it's always funny." This was while doing shots of Lychee sake, a bottle of which the nice host opened when asking if I needed anything. (I can't believe we finished it.)
But the highlight of the entertainment: Some Filipino dude (practically the billionth Chris I've ever met), with a white contact lens on his left eye, walking on the sidewalk was taken in as a guest. Apparently, he had gotten kicked out of a party for not being of African descent and was just waiting for the first person on the street to give him a wrong look so that he could beat him up, a story that he would drunkenly repeat over fifteen times according to the dude in a Roman costume.
Speaking of which, the dude in a Roman costume was playing a game, unofficially entitled "The New #1," wherein he would rank the night's top five comments. By the time I left, his top rated comment was ...
SOME GIRL: Gabe pants'd [Ryan], but I think it backfired because everyone got intimidated afterward.
DUDE IN ROMAN COSTUME: New #1!
Although, most of the top rated comments were said by the Filipino stranger. At one point, the dude in the Roman costume couldn't even put down his raised index finger - indicating, "New #1" - fast enough before the Filipino dude drunkenly spurted out a new top rated comment. Interesting: This Filipino drunkard was able to slowly guess Jun's costume (Steampunk) on the first try, but couldn't guess our ethnicities when it was the same as his! He also accidentally offended this Japanese girl in a Kung Fu Panda outfit with something like, "Your country makes my video games!" (DUDE IN ROMAN COSTUME: New #1!) At least he said we were the nicest people he's ever met in his ten years living in Burbank.
Gumby texted me at 3:00AM because the party he was at was broken up by police. I called him back.
GUMBY: Is the party you're in still happenin'?
RYAN: (Looking at the passed out people) ... No.
When the chick with the vagina tattoo was leaving, she hugged me. But as she was about to let go, suddenly hugged me tighter, snorting my hair. OK, I had been a hard ass thwarting her flirty attempts. But with that, I finally let her into my database. Moral of the story: To the more evolved males, it takes more than just being scantily clad. Persistence and searching for the "on button" are the key.
I got home at 4:00AM. The parallelism between us just hit me: She's above average at best, but overcompensates by not wearing much. Likewise, because I'm nothing without my fucktastic1 hair and most gorgeous eyes2, I must show as much of my lean 12% body fat skin as possible. With solace in our common ground, and with her tighter hug to snort my hair still fresh in mind, I busted a #3 while screaming her name (which is the same as my BFF's, but to avoid confusion with my BFF). I slept well.
I had a couple of weird dreams at night: 1) I was in my bed, but so were other random people next to me. A full bearded, white guy to my left introduced himself as Joe Stevenson. He did a magic trick claiming I can see Jesus, but "no guarantees." He flexed his bicep in front of the sunroof on the ceiling. The sun then sailed from left to right, driving out the gloominess, and receded when he stopped flexing. I ran down Brand Boulevard on the Church corner to spread the news. 2) At night, I was running through this residential area with a cul-de-sac to meet up with Capoeira classmates Jesse, Stephanie and Kevin. End of dreams.
An alarm clock had to wake me up for Church at noon. I spent the afternoon catching up on the UFC fights from last night.
Mommy and I had dinner at Cheesecake Factory. We had frozen yogurt at Pinkberry. I had a small PB+J while mommy had plain peanut butter. Mental note: I need to go back for the pumpkin flavor.
1An adjective that a brunette cougar named Babs coined to describe my hair.
2A phrase that a sorority chick named Kaylee used to describe my eyes.
Saturday, October 29, 2011
"How's everybody? You like dicks?"
I went to the gym late last night/technically early this morning and, likely due to pre-Halloween partying since people are usually there no matter how late ... there was literally no one there except for Danny at the front desk, one janitor and myself!
Milestone: I incorporated for the first time the pull-ups that were being performed in Never Back Down 2.
DANNY: Oh, you're doing the MMA workout!
The subjects of dancing (Top Rocking, B-Boyin,' Poppin' & Lockin') and Danny's stand-up comedy came up. I mentioned how I once considered comedy until I realized I had nothing more than masturbation jokes.
DANNY: Yeah, you can't talk dirty all the time. You gotta change it up. I used to get on the microphone and straight up say, "How's everybody? You like dicks?"
RYAN: I'm gonna be laughing at that for a while! "How's everybody? You like dicks?" I'm gonna go to sleep tonight laughing!
DANNY: (Laughing) And that wasn't even the joke!
Danny laughed all the way as I exited the building.
I got home, fired up the porn, and started busting a #3 to the manager at Hot Topic while the radio on the station 103.5 started playing Sarah McLachlan's In the Arms of an Angel. The next song was Time of My Life from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. Suddenly, I was reminded of how I stumbled onto that chick Adriana's Rumba lesson online last Wednesday and, in the alternate reality, I started naked ballroom dancing with Adriana. In a stream of consciousness, because of how I got off on that blond chick Layla from last Sunday asking me with attitude, "Wanna Dance?" Layla pushed Adriana aside to take a turn with me. But in the end, and with the radio moving on to Taylor Swift's Love Story, the manager at Hot Topic pushed both of them off of me to regain dominance as I finished to her.
Best. Playlist. Ever.
I slept in until it was time to go to Top Rocking class. Same students as last week - except for the one code-named "Choir Boy" - plus our friend Niels from Amsterdam, the Asian kid who usually wears pants with the word Lockin' on one leg, some white guy, some girl, and a couple of Asian guys.
"CHOIR BOY": I'm gonna take [the other] class. What do you think?
RYAN: [Pantomiming hand-jerking motions] That's what I think.
"CHOIR BOY": I'm sure that's what you think. That's what you always think! Sometimes I wonder, How does he get anything done?
Downside: Eric used the same choreography from a few weeks ago. Boo. But then we had a circle of improvisation. Niels was the only one who could flip. I kept it simple, but noticeably had a lot more control holding my air-chair. Surprise: Bop, who usually gets clowned on (mostly by "Choir Boy") for not being able to competently follow choreography, is actually good at freestyling! Highlight of the day: The office actually listened to my suggestion that I submitted in their comment box two Saturdays ago as they put out a bucket of Halloween candy!
The radio station KROQ 106.7 was playing Third Eye Blind's Jumper and Semi Charmed Life back to back. I noted how, despite the cheerful beat of each, they were actually about suicide and drugs, respectively. "Choir Boy" then pointed out how Foster the People's Pumped Up Kicks was likewise an easy going song about shooting kids. Suddenly, it now made sense that UFC fighter Nam Phan chose it as his entrance song at UFC 136 since Gumby and I last Friday had questioned how such a "chill" song could be used as a fight song.
"Choir Boy" put Transformers: Dark of the Moon on while FMA training. Today's agenda: Vertical gunting (scissors), vertical gunting into fist destruction, entry into choke, entry into takedown, and trankada (joint locks).
And then I had to wait a couple of hours before partying since I was prematurely buzzed.
Milestone: I incorporated for the first time the pull-ups that were being performed in Never Back Down 2.
DANNY: Oh, you're doing the MMA workout!
The subjects of dancing (Top Rocking, B-Boyin,' Poppin' & Lockin') and Danny's stand-up comedy came up. I mentioned how I once considered comedy until I realized I had nothing more than masturbation jokes.
DANNY: Yeah, you can't talk dirty all the time. You gotta change it up. I used to get on the microphone and straight up say, "How's everybody? You like dicks?"
RYAN: I'm gonna be laughing at that for a while! "How's everybody? You like dicks?" I'm gonna go to sleep tonight laughing!
DANNY: (Laughing) And that wasn't even the joke!
Danny laughed all the way as I exited the building.
I got home, fired up the porn, and started busting a #3 to the manager at Hot Topic while the radio on the station 103.5 started playing Sarah McLachlan's In the Arms of an Angel. The next song was Time of My Life from the Dirty Dancing soundtrack. Suddenly, I was reminded of how I stumbled onto that chick Adriana's Rumba lesson online last Wednesday and, in the alternate reality, I started naked ballroom dancing with Adriana. In a stream of consciousness, because of how I got off on that blond chick Layla from last Sunday asking me with attitude, "Wanna Dance?" Layla pushed Adriana aside to take a turn with me. But in the end, and with the radio moving on to Taylor Swift's Love Story, the manager at Hot Topic pushed both of them off of me to regain dominance as I finished to her.
Best. Playlist. Ever.
I slept in until it was time to go to Top Rocking class. Same students as last week - except for the one code-named "Choir Boy" - plus our friend Niels from Amsterdam, the Asian kid who usually wears pants with the word Lockin' on one leg, some white guy, some girl, and a couple of Asian guys.
"CHOIR BOY": I'm gonna take [the other] class. What do you think?
RYAN: [Pantomiming hand-jerking motions] That's what I think.
"CHOIR BOY": I'm sure that's what you think. That's what you always think! Sometimes I wonder, How does he get anything done?
Downside: Eric used the same choreography from a few weeks ago. Boo. But then we had a circle of improvisation. Niels was the only one who could flip. I kept it simple, but noticeably had a lot more control holding my air-chair. Surprise: Bop, who usually gets clowned on (mostly by "Choir Boy") for not being able to competently follow choreography, is actually good at freestyling! Highlight of the day: The office actually listened to my suggestion that I submitted in their comment box two Saturdays ago as they put out a bucket of Halloween candy!
The radio station KROQ 106.7 was playing Third Eye Blind's Jumper and Semi Charmed Life back to back. I noted how, despite the cheerful beat of each, they were actually about suicide and drugs, respectively. "Choir Boy" then pointed out how Foster the People's Pumped Up Kicks was likewise an easy going song about shooting kids. Suddenly, it now made sense that UFC fighter Nam Phan chose it as his entrance song at UFC 136 since Gumby and I last Friday had questioned how such a "chill" song could be used as a fight song.
"Choir Boy" put Transformers: Dark of the Moon on while FMA training. Today's agenda: Vertical gunting (scissors), vertical gunting into fist destruction, entry into choke, entry into takedown, and trankada (joint locks).
And then I had to wait a couple of hours before partying since I was prematurely buzzed.
Friday, October 28, 2011
"It was a release."
I had a weird dream last night that there was this vessel made of cruise ships connected to each other in a steampunk-ish way. This network of ships was sailing in a storm at night. I was on one of the cruise ships where the surface resembled the rural province of the Philippines and it was inexplicably daylight. A motor tricycle passed by me. I walked by a girl, but when I asked her for her name - keeping in mind the limits of the dream world - she said it was, "Student." End of dream.
I improvised a new song in guitar practice while Vahik went out for a smoke break. It involves tapping the bottom of the strings while holding the chords to simultaneously play percussion and rhythm.
Afterward, I carried my guitar around the mall like a chick magnet - same ol' Friday routine. The manager was working at Hot Topic in a Halloween costume. Weirdly, the makeup gravitated towards her nose. She almost walked into me until she looked up, starting at the guitar first and then to my face. She grinned. The serotonin warmed by body. Score!
At night, I was jamming out to the store Cotton Up's sound systems blasting LMFAO's Sexy And I Know It when Fredy, a cashier, from Rubio's walked by.
FREDY: See you soon.
RYAN: Yeah, soon. I'll be ...
FREDY and RYAN: (At the same time) ... Eating.
The manager at Hot Topic was still there for the night shift, but this time she was out of whatever that Halloween costume was and into pajamas, a double-whammy in my database.
At Barnes & Noble, Nataly, walked up behind me on the escalator explaining that she nearly died a few minutes prior when she choked on her Nyquil, couldn't get any air, and collapsed in some store. She pointed out that it was probably Fate since every time we see each other she's walking up behind me, and that had she not almost choked to death she would've been ahead of me ... And the Universe just can't have that for a change! Anyway, she was reluctantly meeting a guy to help her with Screenwriting homework, but didn't want him to get the wrong idea of their meeting.
NATALY: Why didn't I just call you for help?
I was catching tonight's WWE Smackdown on Youtube.com since I got home late. Despite their current PG rating, there was a sexual innuendo as Cody Rhodes remarked with a subtly orgasm tone of voice, "It was a release."
To Be Continued ...
I improvised a new song in guitar practice while Vahik went out for a smoke break. It involves tapping the bottom of the strings while holding the chords to simultaneously play percussion and rhythm.
Afterward, I carried my guitar around the mall like a chick magnet - same ol' Friday routine. The manager was working at Hot Topic in a Halloween costume. Weirdly, the makeup gravitated towards her nose. She almost walked into me until she looked up, starting at the guitar first and then to my face. She grinned. The serotonin warmed by body. Score!
At night, I was jamming out to the store Cotton Up's sound systems blasting LMFAO's Sexy And I Know It when Fredy, a cashier, from Rubio's walked by.
FREDY: See you soon.
RYAN: Yeah, soon. I'll be ...
FREDY and RYAN: (At the same time) ... Eating.
The manager at Hot Topic was still there for the night shift, but this time she was out of whatever that Halloween costume was and into pajamas, a double-whammy in my database.
At Barnes & Noble, Nataly, walked up behind me on the escalator explaining that she nearly died a few minutes prior when she choked on her Nyquil, couldn't get any air, and collapsed in some store. She pointed out that it was probably Fate since every time we see each other she's walking up behind me, and that had she not almost choked to death she would've been ahead of me ... And the Universe just can't have that for a change! Anyway, she was reluctantly meeting a guy to help her with Screenwriting homework, but didn't want him to get the wrong idea of their meeting.
NATALY: Why didn't I just call you for help?
I was catching tonight's WWE Smackdown on Youtube.com since I got home late. Despite their current PG rating, there was a sexual innuendo as Cody Rhodes remarked with a subtly orgasm tone of voice, "It was a release."
To Be Continued ...
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Bebot
Apparently, the hostile manager at Teavana doesn't recognize me as she handed me a couple of free samples of tea as I was walking by. Now that I think of it, it has been almost a year since she called me out on drinking gallons of their free samples on a weekly basis and I've managed to avoid her since then.
Jessica was working at American Basics. She's renewed in my database.
I ate at Subway Sandwiches and tried to recreate the order that the one code-named "Choir Boy" is always getting. I got the cheese wrong, though. It was supposed to be Pepper Jack, not Provolone. And I lazily said to just put all veggies on it. That led to me eating jalapenos for the first time. Oh, and I added chips and drink because that's how I roll.
Random: I've noticed in every live Black Eyed Peas performance of Bebot, Apl.de.Ap. can do an au batido (as it's called in Capoeira) into turtle position (or bended-legs gut planche) into forward head-spring. I want that combo.
Jessica was working at American Basics. She's renewed in my database.
I ate at Subway Sandwiches and tried to recreate the order that the one code-named "Choir Boy" is always getting. I got the cheese wrong, though. It was supposed to be Pepper Jack, not Provolone. And I lazily said to just put all veggies on it. That led to me eating jalapenos for the first time. Oh, and I added chips and drink because that's how I roll.
Random: I've noticed in every live Black Eyed Peas performance of Bebot, Apl.de.Ap. can do an au batido (as it's called in Capoeira) into turtle position (or bended-legs gut planche) into forward head-spring. I want that combo.
Wednesday, October 26, 2011
Rumba
I had a couple of weird dreams last night. 1) In real life, last Sunday there was this chick Adrienne who was aight-looking, but I didn't find her jackoffable just because she was overshadowed by the jackoffable blond chick Layla. Well, in my dream Adrienne was laying her head on top of my chest in a pillow-talk-sort-of-way. 2) I was in bar. Garry was there. Walter, who in real life is my best friend who's disappeared off the face of the earth for the past few years, was walking around. And the bartender handed me a business card offering me a job. End of dreams.
After finding a youtube video of her demonstrating some Rumba ballroom dancing, I busted a #3 to that chick Adriana from last Sunday.
I made the most money I've ever made so far at the recycling center. This time I walked in with two bags and came home with $12.85.
I helped mommy at the laundromat and then afterward ate dinner at Outback Steakhouse.
After finding a youtube video of her demonstrating some Rumba ballroom dancing, I busted a #3 to that chick Adriana from last Sunday.
I made the most money I've ever made so far at the recycling center. This time I walked in with two bags and came home with $12.85.
I helped mommy at the laundromat and then afterward ate dinner at Outback Steakhouse.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
"Thank you so much."
Apparently, the fate of the Pitching Your Film or TV Project class that was scheduled for tonight rested on my shoulders. I went to register an hour before the office closed because that's how I roll.
FRONT DESK LADY: That class was cancelled because people like you wait until the last minute.
RYAN: How many were enrolled?
FRONT DESK LADY: Five.
RYAN: What's the minimum enrollment you need to hold a class?
FRONT DESK LADY: Six.
RYAN: You're making me feel bad.
Good news: She eventually, reluctantly let me get more than the one-candy-maximum from the Halloween candy bucket because of the power of my hair. ("Don't ever cut your hair.")
Some cigarette-smoking armenian dude tried to pick a fight with an old man, parked in the handicap spot at the In-N-Out parking lot, because the latter pointed out a "No Smoking" sign to the former. I could've so taken on that typical hot-tempered armenian and his friend had there been any trouble. I saw that the old hunchback man, though, went to meet up with his girlfriend, an old Filipina. Nice.
Jessica at American Basics is renewed in my database.
At Barnes & Noble, I saw this chick named Rachel who was two years my junior in high school. We've never spoken to each other. I only added her on Facebook because she's a fellow Potterhead. Although, I've busted a #3 to her before. Her blond hair was curlier than usual. I was finally able to add her voice to my database as extra detail when I overheard her buying something. I'd say her voice was that of an alto. She kept telling the cashier, "Thank you so much." I'm starting to notice, "Thank you so much," is a blond chick type of thing to say as the only other person I've ever heard use it was that girl, Megan, who used to sing at the Glendale Marketplace. (See entry 1/7/11.)
FRONT DESK LADY: That class was cancelled because people like you wait until the last minute.
RYAN: How many were enrolled?
FRONT DESK LADY: Five.
RYAN: What's the minimum enrollment you need to hold a class?
FRONT DESK LADY: Six.
RYAN: You're making me feel bad.
Good news: She eventually, reluctantly let me get more than the one-candy-maximum from the Halloween candy bucket because of the power of my hair. ("Don't ever cut your hair.")
Some cigarette-smoking armenian dude tried to pick a fight with an old man, parked in the handicap spot at the In-N-Out parking lot, because the latter pointed out a "No Smoking" sign to the former. I could've so taken on that typical hot-tempered armenian and his friend had there been any trouble. I saw that the old hunchback man, though, went to meet up with his girlfriend, an old Filipina. Nice.
Jessica at American Basics is renewed in my database.
At Barnes & Noble, I saw this chick named Rachel who was two years my junior in high school. We've never spoken to each other. I only added her on Facebook because she's a fellow Potterhead. Although, I've busted a #3 to her before. Her blond hair was curlier than usual. I was finally able to add her voice to my database as extra detail when I overheard her buying something. I'd say her voice was that of an alto. She kept telling the cashier, "Thank you so much." I'm starting to notice, "Thank you so much," is a blond chick type of thing to say as the only other person I've ever heard use it was that girl, Megan, who used to sing at the Glendale Marketplace. (See entry 1/7/11.)
Monday, October 24, 2011
"Wanna dance?"
I busted a #3 to Layla from yesterday. (See entry 10/23/11.) Over and over in my head, I could hear her voice with its undertones of an east coast accent when she jokingly asked me with attitude, "Wanna dance?" It was on repeat and I accidentally finished to it as she asked me one last time before I came back to reality.
At the first floor parking lot at the mall, around the In-N-Out I walked by a car and I recognized the person who got out of it was my grade school classmate Stephanie (not to be confused with Stefanie with an "F" or Stephanie from Capoeira). I must say, she looked better on her Facebook page. By the way, Jessica was working at American Basics and is renewed in the database.
At Barnes & Noble, the ethnically-ambiguous Monica who noticeably had extensions last Thursday (see entry 10/20/11) was back to her short hair. What in the F'n F? It reverted to its style of being held back by a clip. That is one confused chick. Oh, well, she's renewed in the database.
I ended the night with WWE RAW.
At the first floor parking lot at the mall, around the In-N-Out I walked by a car and I recognized the person who got out of it was my grade school classmate Stephanie (not to be confused with Stefanie with an "F" or Stephanie from Capoeira). I must say, she looked better on her Facebook page. By the way, Jessica was working at American Basics and is renewed in the database.
At Barnes & Noble, the ethnically-ambiguous Monica who noticeably had extensions last Thursday (see entry 10/20/11) was back to her short hair. What in the F'n F? It reverted to its style of being held back by a clip. That is one confused chick. Oh, well, she's renewed in the database.
I ended the night with WWE RAW.
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Male escort
After church, I went to Hollywood. I had a job: To dress up in a tuxedo, escort these beauty pageant types on stage one by one, look happy for them as they recite some lines on the microphone, and escort them off stage, making sure they never fall. But there were a couple of audibles, the most noticeable one being that this older lady, who was one of the powers-that-be, wouldn't let go of my arm, keeping me with her, and subsequently the backstage required me to sprint from one side to the other to prevent any delay in escorting the next chick! The proverbial, "El oh el."
Ironically, the two chicks I found jackoffable weren't even a part of the show. 1) The sound technician chick was named Layla. She was a blond chick that had her hair tied up in a Flintstones' Pebbles sort of way. She had an accent that I couldn't identify, but I think it had undertones of some type of east coast USA.
LAYLA: (Referring to choreography) Do you have it, have it, have it?
RYAN: Yeah, I "have it, have it, have it."
I had a boner every time Layla grabbed my arm to demonstrate how I was supposed to walk the girls. At one point when we almost walked into each other, she jokingly asked with attitude, "Wanna dance?" The way she said it is going in my database. 2) There was this tanned chick with long and straight, dark hair. I actually spoke to her. ("Are you performing too?" And she said, "No, blah, blah, blah ...") Score! She was just coworkers with one of the beauty pageant lady's husband and asked to help out.
LAYLA: Your job is to look cute. If you can pull that off, you're good.
Tom, a member of a band that Chris in Anaheim produces for, was supposed to perform with one of the girls. Small world. He ended up bailing since the show ran overtime, leaving her to lip sync. But we chilled.
TOM: So what are you doing?
RYAN: I dress up in a tux, walk each of them to the stage, and make sure they don't fall.
CHICK: So an "escort."
RYAN: Yeah, but I don't like that word.
[They laugh.]
TOM: So you're a male escort.
No one did any double-takes of me until I put my tuxedo on. There was this cute chick, who did a Tahitian dance, and kept calling me "stud muffin" (or one time just "stud" for short) every time she saw me ... But then I found out she was only fifteen-years-old. Boo. I suppose there was this other aight chick named Adriana.
ADRIANA: (Walking backstage) OK, how much of my vagina did you see?
VOICE-BEHIND-THE-SCENES: Only two lips.
ADRIANA: Oh, good, not three lips.
Ironically, the two chicks I found jackoffable weren't even a part of the show. 1) The sound technician chick was named Layla. She was a blond chick that had her hair tied up in a Flintstones' Pebbles sort of way. She had an accent that I couldn't identify, but I think it had undertones of some type of east coast USA.
LAYLA: (Referring to choreography) Do you have it, have it, have it?
RYAN: Yeah, I "have it, have it, have it."
I had a boner every time Layla grabbed my arm to demonstrate how I was supposed to walk the girls. At one point when we almost walked into each other, she jokingly asked with attitude, "Wanna dance?" The way she said it is going in my database. 2) There was this tanned chick with long and straight, dark hair. I actually spoke to her. ("Are you performing too?" And she said, "No, blah, blah, blah ...") Score! She was just coworkers with one of the beauty pageant lady's husband and asked to help out.
LAYLA: Your job is to look cute. If you can pull that off, you're good.
Tom, a member of a band that Chris in Anaheim produces for, was supposed to perform with one of the girls. Small world. He ended up bailing since the show ran overtime, leaving her to lip sync. But we chilled.
TOM: So what are you doing?
RYAN: I dress up in a tux, walk each of them to the stage, and make sure they don't fall.
CHICK: So an "escort."
RYAN: Yeah, but I don't like that word.
[They laugh.]
TOM: So you're a male escort.
No one did any double-takes of me until I put my tuxedo on. There was this cute chick, who did a Tahitian dance, and kept calling me "stud muffin" (or one time just "stud" for short) every time she saw me ... But then I found out she was only fifteen-years-old. Boo. I suppose there was this other aight chick named Adriana.
ADRIANA: (Walking backstage) OK, how much of my vagina did you see?
VOICE-BEHIND-THE-SCENES: Only two lips.
ADRIANA: Oh, good, not three lips.
Saturday, October 22, 2011
"I might be telling you more than I should about my life, but I think it's because I'm drunk." Well no shit.
After Amy's house party late last night, I went to the gym at around 3:00AM. Danny was working the front desk.
DANNY: How are ya, Ryan?
RYAN: Just came from a party. Gotta work it off.
DANNY: (To the guy he was just talking to) You see this guy, man?!
Top Rocking class always seems to be the highlight of my week. People present today: Eric, Bop, some white guy, some girl, and ... Surprise: the one code-named "Choir Boy." He can finally reclaim his balls after procrastinating to check out this class for so long. Humorous moment: Having done a stretch that transitioned into only two push-ups and back into the stretch, after warming up we discovered that Bop absentmindedly never stopped doing what was supposed to be only two push-ups.
I was pressed for time, but trained "Choir Boy" briefly in FMA.
I had to buy a vest for tomorrow's gig.
Finally, it was time for the PWG show. Only Chad from the usual gang showed up. Actually, Brandon's friend, Dan, too. The autistic dude, Joshua, was back ... sitting next to the chick that Chad and I both share in the database. Other than that, the chick who usually wears a flower on her ear, though not today, was renewed in the database as well. Chad bought his usual "lightweight" pitcher of Bud Light on tap. I bought my usual Sam Adams Oktoberfest on tap.
CHAD: I'm staying at the motel. It's nice because I never got to live alone. You know I was only 18 when I had Omar?
RYAN: How old is Omar now?
CHAD: 18.
RYAN: Now that he's 18, you ever tell him not to do the same thing you did?
CHAD: Oh fuck yeah!
CHAD: I did [two girls at once], but I nutted in one minute. My financial aid money came in. But I didn't get to pick the second chick. She did. But she was hot anyway.
RYAN: Two guys on one girl is kind of gay. That would have to be my best friend and the chick would have to be really hot. Although, I'd probably be OK with you.
CHAD: Oh yeah, I've known you for a while, Intocable. If a hot chick just came up to us now - it probably wouldn't be her (referring to aforementioned chick sitting next to autistic Joshua) - but I'd be down. We don't talk to each other - maybe a high-five - and you stay on your side, I stay on my side ...
CHAD: So at Wrestlereunion, I snorted some cocaine-- I'm not gonna say who brought it, but we'll just leave it at that. And Sam[antha] said she just came back from the Briscoes' room and I started imagining sperm around her mouth--
RYAN: Wait, there was sperm around her mouth? Or you were just imagining it?
CHAD: Well, you tell me, what's a girl doing coming out of the Briscoes' room?
RYAN: She just said she was cool with them.
CHAD: I might be telling you more than I should about my life, but I think it's because I'm drunk.
[Author's note: Well no shit.]
DANNY: How are ya, Ryan?
RYAN: Just came from a party. Gotta work it off.
DANNY: (To the guy he was just talking to) You see this guy, man?!
Top Rocking class always seems to be the highlight of my week. People present today: Eric, Bop, some white guy, some girl, and ... Surprise: the one code-named "Choir Boy." He can finally reclaim his balls after procrastinating to check out this class for so long. Humorous moment: Having done a stretch that transitioned into only two push-ups and back into the stretch, after warming up we discovered that Bop absentmindedly never stopped doing what was supposed to be only two push-ups.
I was pressed for time, but trained "Choir Boy" briefly in FMA.
I had to buy a vest for tomorrow's gig.
Finally, it was time for the PWG show. Only Chad from the usual gang showed up. Actually, Brandon's friend, Dan, too. The autistic dude, Joshua, was back ... sitting next to the chick that Chad and I both share in the database. Other than that, the chick who usually wears a flower on her ear, though not today, was renewed in the database as well. Chad bought his usual "lightweight" pitcher of Bud Light on tap. I bought my usual Sam Adams Oktoberfest on tap.
CHAD: I'm staying at the motel. It's nice because I never got to live alone. You know I was only 18 when I had Omar?
RYAN: How old is Omar now?
CHAD: 18.
RYAN: Now that he's 18, you ever tell him not to do the same thing you did?
CHAD: Oh fuck yeah!
CHAD: I did [two girls at once], but I nutted in one minute. My financial aid money came in. But I didn't get to pick the second chick. She did. But she was hot anyway.
RYAN: Two guys on one girl is kind of gay. That would have to be my best friend and the chick would have to be really hot. Although, I'd probably be OK with you.
CHAD: Oh yeah, I've known you for a while, Intocable. If a hot chick just came up to us now - it probably wouldn't be her (referring to aforementioned chick sitting next to autistic Joshua) - but I'd be down. We don't talk to each other - maybe a high-five - and you stay on your side, I stay on my side ...
CHAD: So at Wrestlereunion, I snorted some cocaine-- I'm not gonna say who brought it, but we'll just leave it at that. And Sam[antha] said she just came back from the Briscoes' room and I started imagining sperm around her mouth--
RYAN: Wait, there was sperm around her mouth? Or you were just imagining it?
CHAD: Well, you tell me, what's a girl doing coming out of the Briscoes' room?
RYAN: She just said she was cool with them.
CHAD: I might be telling you more than I should about my life, but I think it's because I'm drunk.
[Author's note: Well no shit.]
Friday, October 21, 2011
"A disturbance in the Force."
I'm finally on the fifth page of that eight-page Paco De Pena song. Yay.
At the mall, the manager was working at Hot Topic. I saw her for the first time in months last Wednesday when she looked very unkempt. Today, her hair looked normal again as she was in semi-Halloween outfit attire, but I wonder if she was wearing a wig. Anyway, she's renewed in the database.
Interesting note: That chick Ciera - whom I'm not attracted to, but once had a dream anyway that she was orally copulating me - and who had transferred to the girly store next door was back at Hot Topic. She either didn't like the other job so much or might actually be working two jobs.
I think I'm finally starting to get used to the jackoffable chick at Waba Teriyaki Grill - whom I've been saying looked a lot better with blond hair - having dark brown hair. Slowly getting used to it.
At the Americana, the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth was left unattended. I noticed the Adele look-alike was busy getting a whole, small pizza to herself. She always was on the thick side.
I was looking around at Guess for a vest to wear on Sunday. This employee named Heather (not to be confused with Heather from Anaheim) was helping me out. She was just "eh" looking. She had red curly hair, but I could see her blond roots. I think she wore a red sweater too. She pulled off the only size medium off the mannequin for me. She asked for my name. From my experience, you only ask a stranger's name so you can scream it out while busting a #3 to them. I invented that, chick! But I'm flattered. I passed on the black vest even though she tried to tell me today was a customer's appreciation discount.
Dinner by myself was at Red Robin. The server Zack has a good memory from two weeks ago.
Then it was time for Amy's house party. I haven't seen her since Richard and I had one last hurrah with Matt last June. (See entry 6/28/11.) I don't even remember the last time I saw Emma.
GUMBY: I felt a disturbance in the force, so I walked outside and there you were.
I finally met Richard's new girlfriend. After rum & coke, Sam Adams Oktoberfest, and hookah I was good to go. Some dude brought an ancient generator. We played a game: We held hands in a circle, two people at the end each holding a plug connected to the generator, and the owner cranked his generator to shock everyone until someone quit. Repeat until the last person standing.
EMMA: Only men would voluntarily get electrocuted!
I was holding hands in the game with this chick Courtney, whom I've seen with this gang at Tonga Hut. She apologized for squeezing too tight while getting electrocuted. But no apology necessary. It was, like, hand sex. She was suggesting something about trying this game while making out because -- I don't remember why because I was getting electrocuted. But she's in my database.
Line of the night was said by me after some dude stepped on an extension cord and a light went out ...
RYAN: This is gonna sound embarrassing, but ... I immediately looked at the hookah to see if it was still on.
[Everyone laughs.]
At the mall, the manager was working at Hot Topic. I saw her for the first time in months last Wednesday when she looked very unkempt. Today, her hair looked normal again as she was in semi-Halloween outfit attire, but I wonder if she was wearing a wig. Anyway, she's renewed in the database.
Interesting note: That chick Ciera - whom I'm not attracted to, but once had a dream anyway that she was orally copulating me - and who had transferred to the girly store next door was back at Hot Topic. She either didn't like the other job so much or might actually be working two jobs.
I think I'm finally starting to get used to the jackoffable chick at Waba Teriyaki Grill - whom I've been saying looked a lot better with blond hair - having dark brown hair. Slowly getting used to it.
At the Americana, the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth was left unattended. I noticed the Adele look-alike was busy getting a whole, small pizza to herself. She always was on the thick side.
I was looking around at Guess for a vest to wear on Sunday. This employee named Heather (not to be confused with Heather from Anaheim) was helping me out. She was just "eh" looking. She had red curly hair, but I could see her blond roots. I think she wore a red sweater too. She pulled off the only size medium off the mannequin for me. She asked for my name. From my experience, you only ask a stranger's name so you can scream it out while busting a #3 to them. I invented that, chick! But I'm flattered. I passed on the black vest even though she tried to tell me today was a customer's appreciation discount.
Dinner by myself was at Red Robin. The server Zack has a good memory from two weeks ago.
Then it was time for Amy's house party. I haven't seen her since Richard and I had one last hurrah with Matt last June. (See entry 6/28/11.) I don't even remember the last time I saw Emma.
GUMBY: I felt a disturbance in the force, so I walked outside and there you were.
I finally met Richard's new girlfriend. After rum & coke, Sam Adams Oktoberfest, and hookah I was good to go. Some dude brought an ancient generator. We played a game: We held hands in a circle, two people at the end each holding a plug connected to the generator, and the owner cranked his generator to shock everyone until someone quit. Repeat until the last person standing.
EMMA: Only men would voluntarily get electrocuted!
I was holding hands in the game with this chick Courtney, whom I've seen with this gang at Tonga Hut. She apologized for squeezing too tight while getting electrocuted. But no apology necessary. It was, like, hand sex. She was suggesting something about trying this game while making out because -- I don't remember why because I was getting electrocuted. But she's in my database.
Line of the night was said by me after some dude stepped on an extension cord and a light went out ...
RYAN: This is gonna sound embarrassing, but ... I immediately looked at the hookah to see if it was still on.
[Everyone laughs.]
Thursday, October 20, 2011
Dodging a bullet
I forgot to say that yesterday when I was walking by Cheesecake Factory, I saw this waitress, Melissa, whom I only see once every ten months on average. (See entry 10/4/10.) She's renewed in the database.
Mommy insisted on buying me two new pairs of shoes because mine look like they need to "retire" and she knows I'm too frugal - or economically sound, as I prefer to look at it as - to buy for myself. Then we ate dinner at Rubio's.
The hostile manager at Teavana wasn't at the store, so I drank more of their free samples just to spite them.
I had the high ground walking on the second floor when I looked below and saw my stalker from Hot Topic walking with a lady friend on the first floor around the Target territory. Later, in the territory nearest the In-N-Out, I was on the first floor and saw her approaching when I swerved to the right and avoided eye contact. Finally, walking through the In-N-Out, I avoided eye contact once again as she was sitting in a booth and I was on my way to the Americana. Therefore, I proverbially dodged a bullet thrice. Ryan-3, stalker-0.
At Barnes & Noble, that ethnically-ambiguous looking chick, Monica, was working ... and she got extensions! Monica's short hair was stuck in this phase where she was too lazy to competently style it and it was barely long enough to tie. It would look normal only when tied. Like I've said, her cute face alone compensated for it. Now with her hair a foot longer overnight and rocking the geek chick glasses - and noticeable confidence in her smirk - I can't wait to bust a #3 to her. Many inferences can be made about her self esteem for wanting such a drastic change.
At the gym late at night, though it's customary to allow at least 24 hours of recovery time for any muscle, I worked the full body again with light weights and high reps.
Mommy insisted on buying me two new pairs of shoes because mine look like they need to "retire" and she knows I'm too frugal - or economically sound, as I prefer to look at it as - to buy for myself. Then we ate dinner at Rubio's.
The hostile manager at Teavana wasn't at the store, so I drank more of their free samples just to spite them.
I had the high ground walking on the second floor when I looked below and saw my stalker from Hot Topic walking with a lady friend on the first floor around the Target territory. Later, in the territory nearest the In-N-Out, I was on the first floor and saw her approaching when I swerved to the right and avoided eye contact. Finally, walking through the In-N-Out, I avoided eye contact once again as she was sitting in a booth and I was on my way to the Americana. Therefore, I proverbially dodged a bullet thrice. Ryan-3, stalker-0.
At Barnes & Noble, that ethnically-ambiguous looking chick, Monica, was working ... and she got extensions! Monica's short hair was stuck in this phase where she was too lazy to competently style it and it was barely long enough to tie. It would look normal only when tied. Like I've said, her cute face alone compensated for it. Now with her hair a foot longer overnight and rocking the geek chick glasses - and noticeable confidence in her smirk - I can't wait to bust a #3 to her. Many inferences can be made about her self esteem for wanting such a drastic change.
At the gym late at night, though it's customary to allow at least 24 hours of recovery time for any muscle, I worked the full body again with light weights and high reps.
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Just enough to regenerate
I woke up at around 9:00AM for the first time in a long time. I would've normally slept longer, but didn't. Science calls it "short sleeping." Johnny calls it "sleeping just enough to regenerate." I decided to see what the morning shift at the mall was like for a change.
There was this chick named Jordan at Red Robin whom I've busted a #3 to before (see entry 2/10/11), but she's no Jazz. I guess I'll put her on the waiting list in my database. To actually put her in my regular database would begin to lower my standards. That reminds me, I need to stop procrastinating in enacting my contingency plan: The only reason why I made a couple of mutual friends with Jazz is to use them to get to her.
The chick at Waba Teriyaki Grill, whom I've said was more jackoffable as a blond before dying her hair dark brown, was working. But I have to admit that her half-asleep-at-the-cash-register look was kind of hot.
The manager at Teavana who once called me on drinking gallons of their free samples per week wasn't at the store today, so I proceeded to drink more of Teavana's free samples.
Randomly at Hot Topic, I finally saw the manager who I hadn't seen since late last July. But - urgh - what did she do to her hair? It's like she tried to cut the bangs herself. But, on a note of conflicting feelings, I want to passionately thrust her to convey how much I've missed her smile and humor ... even if her bad hair poses the risk of erectile dysfunction. So I guess she's there until 2:00PM nowadays. But before I left, Leah walked in. Last time I saw Leah, she had transferred to the neighboring city's location. (See entry 9/30/11.) Not sure if Leah has transferred back or was just visiting. But I always think about how Nataly, my first FMA student, was checking out Leah. (Yes, my friend who's a girl checks out girls.)
I did calisthenics at the gym.
At night, there were some clerical errors printing out my headshots at Costco. I'll have to do it online. But at least the free samples, especially of pizza, were good. The adjacent Best Buy not having the replacement battery for my camera brought me back to the mall to check out the Sony store across the street ...
Jessica was working at American Basics and is renewed in the database. Dana at Lush Cosmetics looked like she was trying this Medieval times princess hairstyle with modern blue clips. That's definitely in the database. The hostile manager wasn't at Teavana again, so I drank more of Teavana's free samples.
That chick Ciera - whom I'm not attracted to, but once had a dream that she was orally copulating me - and who transferred from Hot Topic to the girly store next to it finally looks like she's smiling at her new job. Speaking of which, I wanted to walk into Hot Topic to check out the new Twilight stuff that went up today, but then spotted my stalker and avoided eye contact as I kept walking. I could hear Johnny in my head, Why don't you just fuck her and get it over with? to which I reply, She's annoying!
There was this chick named Jordan at Red Robin whom I've busted a #3 to before (see entry 2/10/11), but she's no Jazz. I guess I'll put her on the waiting list in my database. To actually put her in my regular database would begin to lower my standards. That reminds me, I need to stop procrastinating in enacting my contingency plan: The only reason why I made a couple of mutual friends with Jazz is to use them to get to her.
The chick at Waba Teriyaki Grill, whom I've said was more jackoffable as a blond before dying her hair dark brown, was working. But I have to admit that her half-asleep-at-the-cash-register look was kind of hot.
The manager at Teavana who once called me on drinking gallons of their free samples per week wasn't at the store today, so I proceeded to drink more of Teavana's free samples.
Randomly at Hot Topic, I finally saw the manager who I hadn't seen since late last July. But - urgh - what did she do to her hair? It's like she tried to cut the bangs herself. But, on a note of conflicting feelings, I want to passionately thrust her to convey how much I've missed her smile and humor ... even if her bad hair poses the risk of erectile dysfunction. So I guess she's there until 2:00PM nowadays. But before I left, Leah walked in. Last time I saw Leah, she had transferred to the neighboring city's location. (See entry 9/30/11.) Not sure if Leah has transferred back or was just visiting. But I always think about how Nataly, my first FMA student, was checking out Leah. (Yes, my friend who's a girl checks out girls.)
I did calisthenics at the gym.
At night, there were some clerical errors printing out my headshots at Costco. I'll have to do it online. But at least the free samples, especially of pizza, were good. The adjacent Best Buy not having the replacement battery for my camera brought me back to the mall to check out the Sony store across the street ...
Jessica was working at American Basics and is renewed in the database. Dana at Lush Cosmetics looked like she was trying this Medieval times princess hairstyle with modern blue clips. That's definitely in the database. The hostile manager wasn't at Teavana again, so I drank more of Teavana's free samples.
That chick Ciera - whom I'm not attracted to, but once had a dream that she was orally copulating me - and who transferred from Hot Topic to the girly store next to it finally looks like she's smiling at her new job. Speaking of which, I wanted to walk into Hot Topic to check out the new Twilight stuff that went up today, but then spotted my stalker and avoided eye contact as I kept walking. I could hear Johnny in my head, Why don't you just fuck her and get it over with? to which I reply, She's annoying!
Tuesday, October 18, 2011
Deaf dancer boy meets mute taxi driver girl
At the mall, Jessica was working at American Basics and is renewed in the database. But that was it.
I went to a Screenwriting class. It was the same teacher who taught the Read All Day And Get Paid For It class back in 10/12/09.
RYAN: I'll be back.
JACK: You expect me to believe that.
RYAN: It's an excuse to quote Terminator.
I went to a Screenwriting class. It was the same teacher who taught the Read All Day And Get Paid For It class back in 10/12/09.
RYAN: I'll be back.
JACK: You expect me to believe that.
RYAN: It's an excuse to quote Terminator.
Monday, October 17, 2011
It was Argentum, not magenta
At the mall, Jessica was working at American Basics. She's renewed in the database. The chick at Waba Teriyaki Grill, who was more jackoffable as a blond before dying her hair dark brown, was working as well. Still not doing it for me anymore, but maybe just a little longer to get used to.
I walked by Lush Cosmetics and music was blasting from the sound system. Dana and her coworker were singing along really loud and were absolutely horrible. I had just busted a #3 to Dana last Saturday (see entry 10/15/11), but I can't include the detail of her singing voice in my database or else it might result in erectile dysfunction.
After WWE RAW, I went to the gym and worked out hard for the first time since secretly injuring my left knee two Sundays ago. I hit every muscle with both compound exercises and isolation exercises. It was so good.
I walked by Lush Cosmetics and music was blasting from the sound system. Dana and her coworker were singing along really loud and were absolutely horrible. I had just busted a #3 to Dana last Saturday (see entry 10/15/11), but I can't include the detail of her singing voice in my database or else it might result in erectile dysfunction.
After WWE RAW, I went to the gym and worked out hard for the first time since secretly injuring my left knee two Sundays ago. I hit every muscle with both compound exercises and isolation exercises. It was so good.
Sunday, October 16, 2011
To guerrilla film Occupy LA events, or not to guerrilla film Occupy LA events
I met with Paul and Martha a little after noon to upload their video for them. Their friend, Ricky, was present. Ricky's daughter fronts a band that was good enough to perform on David Letterman. Ribs and chicken were on the BBQ. We washed it down with Keystone Light and Modelo. Not my favorite beers, but as Michelle in Nebraska once said, "Booze is booze."
PAUL: Sorry about [canceling] yesterday. I was highly intoxicated. That's all it was.
Paul recommends that I use my ability to capture events on camera to cover Occupy LA events. Anyway, Paul was, um, so heavily medicated that Martha had to put him to bed ... at 4:30PM!
Because mommy's accountant, Lena, hooked me up with a gig to escort ladies at a beauty pageant next Sunday, I had to visit tito Noel to get my hair did. (Tito, in Tagalog, being the equivalent of an uncle, but not blood-related.) I look hot.
PAUL: Sorry about [canceling] yesterday. I was highly intoxicated. That's all it was.
Paul recommends that I use my ability to capture events on camera to cover Occupy LA events. Anyway, Paul was, um, so heavily medicated that Martha had to put him to bed ... at 4:30PM!
Because mommy's accountant, Lena, hooked me up with a gig to escort ladies at a beauty pageant next Sunday, I had to visit tito Noel to get my hair did. (Tito, in Tagalog, being the equivalent of an uncle, but not blood-related.) I look hot.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
"Sir, you're making people angry with you today."
I had a dream last night about Raquel.
Who's Raquel? A former stripper who was the younger sister of Steve's ex-girlfriend, Reese, who was also a stripper. (Reese actually got Raquel the job.) Steve and Reese appointed me as Raquel's "babysitter" to prevent her from third-wheeling them. The stripper sisters and I are Harry Potter fans.
Anyway, in the dream, some random stripper was giving me a lap dance and Raquel was watching. I was trying to make out her facial expressions, wondering if she was jealous and if this was OK. End of weird dream.
I woke up to go to Top Rocking class. Eric, whom I've always said was better than the regular teacher nicknamed Ynot, was substituting again. Good news: Ynot will be in Taiwan for the rest of the year, so Eric will be teaching from now on! The only other student beside me was Bop - whose name the front desk lady couldn't figure how to spell for the longest time. Bop's the type to flash "Westside" gang signs with weird faces to Tupac's California for forever until finally given some choreography to do.
Afterward, I found the one code-named "Choir Boy" in the lounge talking to his blond, cougar lady. I stood behind his cougar lady and gave him the "thumbs up" with the "boys will be boys" connotation. (Translation: Hit it.)
"CHOIR BOY": (Regarding Bop) He's so off!
I filled out a comment card asking for a bucket of free candy to be available during the Halloween season.
Meal time was at Subway.
EMPLOYEE CHICK WITH GREEN HAIR: Any chips or drink?
"CHOIR BOY": Oh no. I'm a lean machine. [Old man behind me in line laughs.] Sorry, I'm high on tiredness.
Then it was time to get down on some FMA while watching the recently released straight to DVD Arena, starring Kellan Lutz with brief appearances by Nina Dobrev and James Remar. New material: 1) Umbrella blocks and 2) Countering the jab-cross Boxing combination with a place (backhand parry)-place-counter combination. And I guess some type of berry juice with vodka/rum during training has become our ritual.
I was supposed to meet with Paul and Martha to do their video work, but Paul called me, likely in a medicated stupor, rescheduling it for tomorrow. Instead, I met "Choir Boy's" blond, cougar lady as we walked to Starbucks with her dogs - Biscuit and Honey. Regarding "Choir Boy" and I changing our clothes just to go walking, she remarked, (in a "rolling eyes" sort of way) "Oh my God."
After she was gone, "Choir Boy's" black, cougar lady stopped by to watch Arena. The wine was good, but I had to end the night with something called Camomile Tea to fix my stomach feeling weird.
I left in the middle of the Fast Five DVD. WTF: "Choir Boy" actually never saw the surprise ending after the credits! And no matter how much he begged me to just tell him, I love Fast Five way too much to spoil it for him.
Arena had a frequently naked costar named Katia Winter who reminds me of Dana at Lush Cosmetics in the mall. But I prefer Dana. Therefore, I busted a #3 to Dana ... and it was so good. I still have to rebuild my endurance, though, as last week I was hitting close to half a thousand strokes whereas now I can only hit half of that, but I attribute it to not having busted a #3 for a week.
Who's Raquel? A former stripper who was the younger sister of Steve's ex-girlfriend, Reese, who was also a stripper. (Reese actually got Raquel the job.) Steve and Reese appointed me as Raquel's "babysitter" to prevent her from third-wheeling them. The stripper sisters and I are Harry Potter fans.
Anyway, in the dream, some random stripper was giving me a lap dance and Raquel was watching. I was trying to make out her facial expressions, wondering if she was jealous and if this was OK. End of weird dream.
I woke up to go to Top Rocking class. Eric, whom I've always said was better than the regular teacher nicknamed Ynot, was substituting again. Good news: Ynot will be in Taiwan for the rest of the year, so Eric will be teaching from now on! The only other student beside me was Bop - whose name the front desk lady couldn't figure how to spell for the longest time. Bop's the type to flash "Westside" gang signs with weird faces to Tupac's California for forever until finally given some choreography to do.
Afterward, I found the one code-named "Choir Boy" in the lounge talking to his blond, cougar lady. I stood behind his cougar lady and gave him the "thumbs up" with the "boys will be boys" connotation. (Translation: Hit it.)
"CHOIR BOY": (Regarding Bop) He's so off!
I filled out a comment card asking for a bucket of free candy to be available during the Halloween season.
Meal time was at Subway.
EMPLOYEE CHICK WITH GREEN HAIR: Any chips or drink?
"CHOIR BOY": Oh no. I'm a lean machine. [Old man behind me in line laughs.] Sorry, I'm high on tiredness.
Then it was time to get down on some FMA while watching the recently released straight to DVD Arena, starring Kellan Lutz with brief appearances by Nina Dobrev and James Remar. New material: 1) Umbrella blocks and 2) Countering the jab-cross Boxing combination with a place (backhand parry)-place-counter combination. And I guess some type of berry juice with vodka/rum during training has become our ritual.
I was supposed to meet with Paul and Martha to do their video work, but Paul called me, likely in a medicated stupor, rescheduling it for tomorrow. Instead, I met "Choir Boy's" blond, cougar lady as we walked to Starbucks with her dogs - Biscuit and Honey. Regarding "Choir Boy" and I changing our clothes just to go walking, she remarked, (in a "rolling eyes" sort of way) "Oh my God."
After she was gone, "Choir Boy's" black, cougar lady stopped by to watch Arena. The wine was good, but I had to end the night with something called Camomile Tea to fix my stomach feeling weird.
I left in the middle of the Fast Five DVD. WTF: "Choir Boy" actually never saw the surprise ending after the credits! And no matter how much he begged me to just tell him, I love Fast Five way too much to spoil it for him.
Arena had a frequently naked costar named Katia Winter who reminds me of Dana at Lush Cosmetics in the mall. But I prefer Dana. Therefore, I busted a #3 to Dana ... and it was so good. I still have to rebuild my endurance, though, as last week I was hitting close to half a thousand strokes whereas now I can only hit half of that, but I attribute it to not having busted a #3 for a week.
Friday, October 14, 2011
5XTV257
I had a weird dream last night that I was in a fictional part of Brand Boulevard that looked heavily crime-populated. Chicks were gang-fighting out in the street. A few strangers and I were guests in some black chick's motel room, until she politely evicted us despite being able to pay her. But she let me stay after I requested to. The main plot of the dream revolved around some film, which I would never see before the dream was over. But the content was implied to be on par with that of a snuff film. Although, the poster for it was the real life poster of the recent British film Attack the Block. The mission was for the other strangers and I to disrupt its outdoor screening on the other side of Brand Boulevard. When we got there, it looked like the courtyard of the CSUN dorms. But I woke up before we could kick some ass. End of dream.
The proverbial F.M.L. regarding guitar practice today: Vahik is planning to have surgery ... and for me to teach his classes while's he's out!
On the way home, I saw in my rearview mirror the chick in the Volkswagen behind me. She was a blond chick with short, curly hair and she was rocking out to whatever was on her radio. That was hot. And traffic was slow enough that I was able to touch myself until she eventually pulled into a parking lot to go to the bank.
Seeing the new GPS on my desk, I just remembered mommy bought it for me a couple of days ago. But I always did say that after growing up just fine before such technology was invented, using a GPS would make me feel like I was losing my balls.
At the mall, Jessica was working at American Basics and renewed in my database. The Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth and renewed in my database. After the mall closed, I saw the Adelle look-alike visiting the other "i Play & Talk" booth outdoors at the Americana across the street. It was great getting a double dose of her. I finally overheard her speak. She had a weird accent. I always suspected she could be one of those armenians who look Caucasian. Her voice is now in my database.
At Barnes & Noble, I got to renew that ethnically-ambiguous chick, Monica, in my database.
I finally busted a #3 for the first time in a week and to my old friend, Vera, whom I was reminded of last Tuesday night at the Journey concert (see entry 10/11/11) ... and exploded a week's worth of ammo that was saved up! Therefore, endurance-wise, I could only hit half of my record number of strokes. See what happens when you take a week off?
The proverbial F.M.L. regarding guitar practice today: Vahik is planning to have surgery ... and for me to teach his classes while's he's out!
On the way home, I saw in my rearview mirror the chick in the Volkswagen behind me. She was a blond chick with short, curly hair and she was rocking out to whatever was on her radio. That was hot. And traffic was slow enough that I was able to touch myself until she eventually pulled into a parking lot to go to the bank.
Seeing the new GPS on my desk, I just remembered mommy bought it for me a couple of days ago. But I always did say that after growing up just fine before such technology was invented, using a GPS would make me feel like I was losing my balls.
At the mall, Jessica was working at American Basics and renewed in my database. The Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth and renewed in my database. After the mall closed, I saw the Adelle look-alike visiting the other "i Play & Talk" booth outdoors at the Americana across the street. It was great getting a double dose of her. I finally overheard her speak. She had a weird accent. I always suspected she could be one of those armenians who look Caucasian. Her voice is now in my database.
At Barnes & Noble, I got to renew that ethnically-ambiguous chick, Monica, in my database.
I finally busted a #3 for the first time in a week and to my old friend, Vera, whom I was reminded of last Tuesday night at the Journey concert (see entry 10/11/11) ... and exploded a week's worth of ammo that was saved up! Therefore, endurance-wise, I could only hit half of my record number of strokes. See what happens when you take a week off?
Thursday, October 13, 2011
The left PacMan Boxing glove that knocked down Oscar De La Hoya
I had a dream last night that my former FMA instructor sarcastically announced to me that he was opening up a dojo. I think the sarcastic attitude was a reflection of how in real life I fired him. End of dream.
Mommy and I went to visit Tolentino, who had been evicted from his house and was now living in the motel across the street. 1) I don't fully comprehend the project that he's been working on, but A) he's been writing to President Obama, B) he's trying to set up a meeting with the Prince of Dubai, and C) he's already received a response from Chelsea Clinton. 2) He showed me the left Boxing glove that my distant relative Manny Pacquiao gave to him, personally adressed in signature - the same Boxing glove that knocked down Oscar De La Hoya!
Not bad for a guy who's living in a motel across the street from the house he was just evicted from. Not bad at all. Oh, and I finally found out that the reason his voice sounds the way it does is because his vocal chords were accidentally nicked during a surgery.
I actually had Jack in the Box for the first time since 10/17/10. Same meal, but with a Hi-C whereas I just remembered that I used to get it with a lemonade. It's been that long.
I stopped by the Law School open house in Glendale, but only to ask how to send in my letters of recommendation and inquire about the academic calendar before taking off.
At the mall, Jessica was working at American Basics and is renewed in the database. The Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth. It looks like she washed her hair today. She happened to be running her fingers through her hair as I walked by. That detail is so in my database. Hypothetically, it would be so hot if, while she was in a hypothetical cowgirl position, she ran her fingers through her hair that way.
Then it was off to a Bar and Grill in Burbank to work for Paul and Martha's band. I haven't seen them since last 7/4/11. Paul bought me a Guinness on tap. Wow, those go down the esophagus very smoothly.
PAUL: We saw Journey when they first hooked up with Arnel Pineda and all these Filipinos were there to see Arnel ... and they just sat there and didn't move. It was the calmest concert I've ever been to!
Bad news: I definitely need to replace my almost-10-year-old battery as, despite being fully charged, it died 25 minutes into the performance. Good news: I had an inexplicable 6th sense to bring the power adapter and the sound man had an extension chord. Bad news: I ran out of tape while they were playing Heart's Barracuda. Good news: The band wasn't happy with how they played it anyway. Good news: They continued playing overtime and I got paid overtime.
PAUL: (Regarding Journey's drummer Dean Castronovo) He can sing, play drums, and his name's Casanova ... I hate him! Even I wanna suck his dick! [Author's note: He's joking, I think.]
Mommy and I went to visit Tolentino, who had been evicted from his house and was now living in the motel across the street. 1) I don't fully comprehend the project that he's been working on, but A) he's been writing to President Obama, B) he's trying to set up a meeting with the Prince of Dubai, and C) he's already received a response from Chelsea Clinton. 2) He showed me the left Boxing glove that my distant relative Manny Pacquiao gave to him, personally adressed in signature - the same Boxing glove that knocked down Oscar De La Hoya!
Not bad for a guy who's living in a motel across the street from the house he was just evicted from. Not bad at all. Oh, and I finally found out that the reason his voice sounds the way it does is because his vocal chords were accidentally nicked during a surgery.
I actually had Jack in the Box for the first time since 10/17/10. Same meal, but with a Hi-C whereas I just remembered that I used to get it with a lemonade. It's been that long.
I stopped by the Law School open house in Glendale, but only to ask how to send in my letters of recommendation and inquire about the academic calendar before taking off.
At the mall, Jessica was working at American Basics and is renewed in the database. The Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth. It looks like she washed her hair today. She happened to be running her fingers through her hair as I walked by. That detail is so in my database. Hypothetically, it would be so hot if, while she was in a hypothetical cowgirl position, she ran her fingers through her hair that way.
Then it was off to a Bar and Grill in Burbank to work for Paul and Martha's band. I haven't seen them since last 7/4/11. Paul bought me a Guinness on tap. Wow, those go down the esophagus very smoothly.
PAUL: We saw Journey when they first hooked up with Arnel Pineda and all these Filipinos were there to see Arnel ... and they just sat there and didn't move. It was the calmest concert I've ever been to!
Bad news: I definitely need to replace my almost-10-year-old battery as, despite being fully charged, it died 25 minutes into the performance. Good news: I had an inexplicable 6th sense to bring the power adapter and the sound man had an extension chord. Bad news: I ran out of tape while they were playing Heart's Barracuda. Good news: The band wasn't happy with how they played it anyway. Good news: They continued playing overtime and I got paid overtime.
PAUL: (Regarding Journey's drummer Dean Castronovo) He can sing, play drums, and his name's Casanova ... I hate him! Even I wanna suck his dick! [Author's note: He's joking, I think.]
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Wolfpack minds: Johnny is no longer missing
I had a weird dream last night: It looked like a road trip. I came upon a cabin. But inside the cabin, it looked like either a small town church or a town hall. Anyway, my gang and I proceeded to rob it. But we left alone a disabled guy. What's weird is I think my mommy was part of my gang. End of dream.
I took a large blue trash bag of water bottles back to the recycling center that I visited last Monday, the one with all the slackers. Today, the same slackers weren't so slacker-ish. What an improvement.
SLACKER DUDE: (As I wonder which end to insert the water bottle into the machine) C'mon, bro, don't be scared.
I earned $6.50 for 84 bottles!
At the mall, Jessica was working at American Basics. It's funny how life works. She went from somebody I thought I would never see again to suddenly discovering months later that the store she was working in was just re-branded and relocated to another part of the mall. She's renewed in the database.
I noticed that all the employees of Teavana were in the break room, leaving all of their free samples unattended. Review: I used to drink gallons of their free samples per week during the holiday season last year until the manager finally called me on it. Since then, I would only stop by if that manager was on break. I proceeded to drink more of their unattended free samples. The manager walked out and mechanically greeted me just as I finished up and split. Haha.
I had an inexplicable urge to turn around while walking on the second floor. After being missing since the middle of last month, I finally came upon Johnny! Wolfpack minds, baby! He was with that chick, Lilian, who thought I was cute, but I had to essentially turn her down after finding out she once caught an infection because she's not into condoms. Anyway, I burned a stare through him until he finally turned his head and saw me. Wolfpack telepathy, baby! And he was drunk. Wolfpack, baby!
At Barnes & Noble, the ethnically-ambiguous looking chick, Monica, was working. She really has issues with her hair. Her hair just really sucks. But her face is cute enough to actually compensate for it. She's renewed in the database.
I took a large blue trash bag of water bottles back to the recycling center that I visited last Monday, the one with all the slackers. Today, the same slackers weren't so slacker-ish. What an improvement.
SLACKER DUDE: (As I wonder which end to insert the water bottle into the machine) C'mon, bro, don't be scared.
I earned $6.50 for 84 bottles!
At the mall, Jessica was working at American Basics. It's funny how life works. She went from somebody I thought I would never see again to suddenly discovering months later that the store she was working in was just re-branded and relocated to another part of the mall. She's renewed in the database.
I noticed that all the employees of Teavana were in the break room, leaving all of their free samples unattended. Review: I used to drink gallons of their free samples per week during the holiday season last year until the manager finally called me on it. Since then, I would only stop by if that manager was on break. I proceeded to drink more of their unattended free samples. The manager walked out and mechanically greeted me just as I finished up and split. Haha.
I had an inexplicable urge to turn around while walking on the second floor. After being missing since the middle of last month, I finally came upon Johnny! Wolfpack minds, baby! He was with that chick, Lilian, who thought I was cute, but I had to essentially turn her down after finding out she once caught an infection because she's not into condoms. Anyway, I burned a stare through him until he finally turned his head and saw me. Wolfpack telepathy, baby! And he was drunk. Wolfpack, baby!
At Barnes & Noble, the ethnically-ambiguous looking chick, Monica, was working. She really has issues with her hair. Her hair just really sucks. But her face is cute enough to actually compensate for it. She's renewed in the database.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
JOURNEY
I just remembered that yesterday in the Costco parking lot, I drove backwards, Jason Bourne style ala The Bourne Ultimatum, when some dumb ass old man was obstructing traffic for no reason and even a van backed up for me.
For a while, my mommy has been telling me that we were going to an Arnel Pineda concert. He's the current lead singer of Journey, but does his own solo concerts as well. We carpooled with her coworker, Rose, and Rose's husband. Guess what? It turned out to be a Journey concert! (Apparently, Filipinos automatically refer to Journey concerts as just Arnel Pineda concerts.) Score!
Facebook status was updated to:
I think the chick sitting in front of me might've been my old friend, Vera, but I wasn't too sure. Vera was a stuntwoman and professional cosplayer (if the latter even is a real job) whom I met at a Martial Arts convention years ago. She was the first hot chick to ever insist that I exchange numbers with her. The last time I saw her in person, I was with Apolonia, a 15-year-old who insisted that I go out with her back when I was 21 - so the age difference wasn't too bad. Now I'm going to have to track down Vera to confirm if that was her at the Journey concert. If so, she's a cougar now, considering that I remember her as being a late 20s/early 30s pretending to barely be in her 20s. The point is: Vera has dibs on being the one whom I bust a #3 to the next time that I do, for old time's sake.
After the Journey concert, mommy had me tag along with her to the hospital to finish a little work. Her coworker, Alvin, walked by.
ALVIN: You don't look anything like your mom ... You're actually handsome. [Runs away before mommy can counter.]
Then I got free custard, jello and cranberry juice from the nurses' lounge that was left unattended. Highlights of the night: 1) I bought a Journey shirt. 2) I really used my iPhone's video for the first time to record the finale of Don't Stop Believing with fireworks at the end.
For a while, my mommy has been telling me that we were going to an Arnel Pineda concert. He's the current lead singer of Journey, but does his own solo concerts as well. We carpooled with her coworker, Rose, and Rose's husband. Guess what? It turned out to be a Journey concert! (Apparently, Filipinos automatically refer to Journey concerts as just Arnel Pineda concerts.) Score!
Facebook status was updated to:
At the JOURNEY concert bitches!
I think the chick sitting in front of me might've been my old friend, Vera, but I wasn't too sure. Vera was a stuntwoman and professional cosplayer (if the latter even is a real job) whom I met at a Martial Arts convention years ago. She was the first hot chick to ever insist that I exchange numbers with her. The last time I saw her in person, I was with Apolonia, a 15-year-old who insisted that I go out with her back when I was 21 - so the age difference wasn't too bad. Now I'm going to have to track down Vera to confirm if that was her at the Journey concert. If so, she's a cougar now, considering that I remember her as being a late 20s/early 30s pretending to barely be in her 20s. The point is: Vera has dibs on being the one whom I bust a #3 to the next time that I do, for old time's sake.
After the Journey concert, mommy had me tag along with her to the hospital to finish a little work. Her coworker, Alvin, walked by.
ALVIN: You don't look anything like your mom ... You're actually handsome. [Runs away before mommy can counter.]
Then I got free custard, jello and cranberry juice from the nurses' lounge that was left unattended. Highlights of the night: 1) I bought a Journey shirt. 2) I really used my iPhone's video for the first time to record the finale of Don't Stop Believing with fireworks at the end.
Monday, October 10, 2011
Albert Einstein as a character in The Bridge to Neverland = science fiction in the Peter Pan mythos
As I drifted to sleep last night, I was thinking about what would've happened if Matt and I never bombed that pro-wrestling tryout - considering that the head trainer, Bryan Danielson, has since been hired by WWE - which resulted in the following weird dream: I was watching a rerun of the Chris Benoit tribute, but as a reflection of WWE's real life decision to delete him from its history due to his double-murder/suicide, any mention of his name was dubbed over and his appearance blurred out except for his masked persona as the Pegasus Kid in Japan.
I woke up, but went back to sleep only to dream - and here's my favorite of the night - that I was dry-humping Nickie. Actually, we were both naked except for one of us wearing pants, though I don't remember which one of us. End of dreams.
After finishing my Red Robin leftovers for breakfast, I played my guitar one last time before cutting my claws - er, nails - which means it's going to be a bitch playing tremolo fingering technique until they grow back.
I finally found the recycling center, but the employees are slackers.
SLACKER DUDE: [As I arrive at 4:50PM] We close at 4:30.
RYAN: [Pointing to sign that reads, "7:30"]
SLACKER CHICK: I don't have any new stickers yet to paste over the old sign.
On the way to Costco to do grownup stuff like buy milk and water, I took the shortcut through Matt's street and it was like the series finale of The OC where the protagonist Ryan Atwood (Benjamin McKenzie) - who has the same name as me - sees the ghost of Marissa Cooper (Mischa Barton) as he drives away from her house. Except it was Matt's ghost instead of Marissa Cooper's, and Matt's not dead. But you know what I mean. ♫ California here I come ♪ right back where I started from ♬ Californiaaaaaaa ...
Mommy's accountant, Lena, finally visited after thinking she was dead due to not being able to get in touch with her in months!
MOMMY: Why don't you just hook up with a Kardashian? They have money.
RYAN: I don't think they're pretty.
MOMMY: Nevermind. They're only famous for a sex tape.
RYAN: Why don't I just do that with Kelly Clarkson?
MOMMY: But she's fat.
I posted the above conversation as my Facebook status and within thirty seconds got a "thumbs up" from Biggie. Whoa, that was fast. And it was time for the ultraviolent ...
At the mall, I remembered something from yesterday when experiencing déjà vu in the restroom: You know what's a pet peeve? Having to pee only to see the restroom closed for cleanup. Well, yesterday, I ignored the security tape and started peeing. The cleaning lady exclaimed, "(As a curse word) Jesus!" She "dogged" me, as kids say. I gave her back a vibe like, Don't make me turn around while peeing. She backed down. Word.
Dana was working at Lush Cosmetics. I almost forgot she existed. She's renewed in the database. Jessica was working at American Basics, wearing a white sweater instead of the usual black that is her uniform. She's renewed in the database. That chick Ciera - whom I'm not attracted to, but for some reason once had a dream that she was orally copulating me - and who just transferred from Hot Topic to that girly store Justice, was vacuuming again. She looked so bored.
At Barnes & Noble, I'm almost done reading The Bridge to Neverland.
I don't know who Googles themselves for seventeen pages, but in that case ... Hi Heather!
I woke up, but went back to sleep only to dream - and here's my favorite of the night - that I was dry-humping Nickie. Actually, we were both naked except for one of us wearing pants, though I don't remember which one of us. End of dreams.
After finishing my Red Robin leftovers for breakfast, I played my guitar one last time before cutting my claws - er, nails - which means it's going to be a bitch playing tremolo fingering technique until they grow back.
I finally found the recycling center, but the employees are slackers.
SLACKER DUDE: [As I arrive at 4:50PM] We close at 4:30.
RYAN: [Pointing to sign that reads, "7:30"]
SLACKER CHICK: I don't have any new stickers yet to paste over the old sign.
On the way to Costco to do grownup stuff like buy milk and water, I took the shortcut through Matt's street and it was like the series finale of The OC where the protagonist Ryan Atwood (Benjamin McKenzie) - who has the same name as me - sees the ghost of Marissa Cooper (Mischa Barton) as he drives away from her house. Except it was Matt's ghost instead of Marissa Cooper's, and Matt's not dead. But you know what I mean. ♫ California here I come ♪ right back where I started from ♬ Californiaaaaaaa ...
Mommy's accountant, Lena, finally visited after thinking she was dead due to not being able to get in touch with her in months!
MOMMY: Why don't you just hook up with a Kardashian? They have money.
RYAN: I don't think they're pretty.
MOMMY: Nevermind. They're only famous for a sex tape.
RYAN: Why don't I just do that with Kelly Clarkson?
MOMMY: But she's fat.
I posted the above conversation as my Facebook status and within thirty seconds got a "thumbs up" from Biggie. Whoa, that was fast. And it was time for the ultraviolent ...
At the mall, I remembered something from yesterday when experiencing déjà vu in the restroom: You know what's a pet peeve? Having to pee only to see the restroom closed for cleanup. Well, yesterday, I ignored the security tape and started peeing. The cleaning lady exclaimed, "(As a curse word) Jesus!" She "dogged" me, as kids say. I gave her back a vibe like, Don't make me turn around while peeing. She backed down. Word.
Dana was working at Lush Cosmetics. I almost forgot she existed. She's renewed in the database. Jessica was working at American Basics, wearing a white sweater instead of the usual black that is her uniform. She's renewed in the database. That chick Ciera - whom I'm not attracted to, but for some reason once had a dream that she was orally copulating me - and who just transferred from Hot Topic to that girly store Justice, was vacuuming again. She looked so bored.
At Barnes & Noble, I'm almost done reading The Bridge to Neverland.
I don't know who Googles themselves for seventeen pages, but in that case ... Hi Heather!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
The planets were aligned, the microcosm of which was the straight line that parted my hair
I went to the gym late last night. Danny was working the front desk. Iam and Victor were present. The gym-rat gang is back! Iam, formerly 185 lb. with only 4% body fat, is down to 170 lb. since he's been busy, but still looks like he's on steroids. Victor brought a new girlfriend with him. Clever. One can multi-task by working out and rationalizing it as a date. I'm stealing that idea.
I slept in and was late for Church. But I finally bought apple cider vinegar for mommy at Whole Foods ... after a quick database run at the mall, a.k.a. the ultraviolent.
I have to finally admit that the jackoffable chick at Waba Teriyaki Grill - who's been less jackoffable since dying her blond hair to dark brown, only because the blond matched better with her complexion - isn't really doing it for me anymore. But Jessica at American Basics is renewed in my database.
Now this never happens, but when I got out of the shower, my hair happened to fall in place as if I fixed it without trying. Today was a rare perfect hair day. It's like the planets were aligned, the microcosm of which was the straight line that parted my hair.
My mommy and I picked up Auntie Alma, who's in town from the Philippines, on the way to Auntie Nora's for food. On the way home, we brought her to visit her friends, who say that they always see my mommy and I in Church. Their youngest daughter remembers my mommy from a long time ago. Weird. I've never seen these people in my life.
At Barnes & Noble, that ethnically-ambiguous looking chick, Monica, was rocking the geek chick glasses. She's renewed in the database. But even more important than hormones: I got to read more of The Bridge to Neverland.
I slept in and was late for Church. But I finally bought apple cider vinegar for mommy at Whole Foods ... after a quick database run at the mall, a.k.a. the ultraviolent.
I have to finally admit that the jackoffable chick at Waba Teriyaki Grill - who's been less jackoffable since dying her blond hair to dark brown, only because the blond matched better with her complexion - isn't really doing it for me anymore. But Jessica at American Basics is renewed in my database.
Now this never happens, but when I got out of the shower, my hair happened to fall in place as if I fixed it without trying. Today was a rare perfect hair day. It's like the planets were aligned, the microcosm of which was the straight line that parted my hair.
My mommy and I picked up Auntie Alma, who's in town from the Philippines, on the way to Auntie Nora's for food. On the way home, we brought her to visit her friends, who say that they always see my mommy and I in Church. Their youngest daughter remembers my mommy from a long time ago. Weird. I've never seen these people in my life.
At Barnes & Noble, that ethnically-ambiguous looking chick, Monica, was rocking the geek chick glasses. She's renewed in the database. But even more important than hormones: I got to read more of The Bridge to Neverland.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
New vocabulary word: Echo.
I had a weird dream last night. I walked into a dance studio. There was a circle going on, like a battle. Eric, who in real life has been the substitute teacher for Top Rockin,' stepped inside and issued an open challenge. I accepted, but inexplicably, it was a wrestling match. I got into side control and pinned him, but for some reason wasn't awarded the pin. The one code-named "Super A" assured me, "That's bullshit! You had his shoulders down!" The ones code-named "Choir Boy" and "G" agreed. End of dream.
When I woke up, I called the studio to ask who was teaching today. Weird enough, it was Eric.
I walked into class and for the longest time I was Eric's only student. Then the Asian dude who always wears a cap walked in. Finally, an Asian chick joined us. Some black chick sat on the floor just to watch, so really there were only three of us doing choreography under Eric. We went overtime, capitalizing on the employee's negligence to give us a five-minute warning. By the end, I was able to multi-task and tie my hair while bustin,' though Eric started the music over again just for that. ("Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I didn't see you were fixing your hair.") Niels, our new friend from Amsterdam, was taking the Lockin' class afterward.
I watched UFC 136 at Charles Billiards alone and sober. Apparently, I'm becoming familiar as the bouncer didn't check my ID or anything and just told me to walk right in. Afterward, I finally tried the seasonal Oktoberfest burger at Red Robin. Dennis was working and I caught up with him for a while before the new guy, Zack, took my order.
RYAN: (Slurred kind of fast) OK, cool.
ZACK: Did you ever work in the kitchen?
RYAN: No. Why?
ZACK: I thought you said echo.
RYAN: Is that a code word?
ZACK: Yeah, it means, "I heard you." Or, "Copy that."
I'm stealing it. I got to read more of The Bridge to Neverland at Barnes & Noble before going home.
There was a chick, I think one of the waitresses, at Charles Billiards earlier who reminded me of Lisa, the former bartender at PWG. I busted a #3 to Lisa just because I miss her.
When I woke up, I called the studio to ask who was teaching today. Weird enough, it was Eric.
I walked into class and for the longest time I was Eric's only student. Then the Asian dude who always wears a cap walked in. Finally, an Asian chick joined us. Some black chick sat on the floor just to watch, so really there were only three of us doing choreography under Eric. We went overtime, capitalizing on the employee's negligence to give us a five-minute warning. By the end, I was able to multi-task and tie my hair while bustin,' though Eric started the music over again just for that. ("Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. I didn't see you were fixing your hair.") Niels, our new friend from Amsterdam, was taking the Lockin' class afterward.
I watched UFC 136 at Charles Billiards alone and sober. Apparently, I'm becoming familiar as the bouncer didn't check my ID or anything and just told me to walk right in. Afterward, I finally tried the seasonal Oktoberfest burger at Red Robin. Dennis was working and I caught up with him for a while before the new guy, Zack, took my order.
RYAN: (Slurred kind of fast) OK, cool.
ZACK: Did you ever work in the kitchen?
RYAN: No. Why?
ZACK: I thought you said echo.
RYAN: Is that a code word?
ZACK: Yeah, it means, "I heard you." Or, "Copy that."
I'm stealing it. I got to read more of The Bridge to Neverland at Barnes & Noble before going home.
There was a chick, I think one of the waitresses, at Charles Billiards earlier who reminded me of Lisa, the former bartender at PWG. I busted a #3 to Lisa just because I miss her.
Friday, October 7, 2011
Me > amateur pornstars
The tremolo fingering technique is a pain in the ass. But guitar practice went well. Afterward, Vahik gave me a copy of his letter that his doctor gave to him regarding a procedure. He wants my mommy's medical advice about it.
At the mall, Jessica was working at American Basics. The Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth. Both are renewed in my database.
Interesting to note, that chick Ciera - whom I'm not attracted to, but for some reason once had a dream that she was orally copulating me - has transferred from Hot Topic to the girly store, Justice, right next to it. It makes sense since her buddy, Vickita, made the same transfer months ago. Her back was turned as she vacuumed, but it's hard not to miss the pink and purple hair.
I read more of The Bridge to Neverland at Barnes & Noble before visiting Dave (the teacher, not the rockstar, nor the bartending classmate) and watching Paul on DVD. On that note, Sijourney Weaver is cougar status.
I went home and busted a #3 to the chick who did my abdominal aortic aneurysm (AAA) tests at the hospital last Wednesday and then to Jessica at American Basics. Guess what? You know how sometimes I try to hit a target number of strokes? Well, I was reviewing some porn ... And I last longer than the dudes in a few videos! Me > amateur pornstars.
At the mall, Jessica was working at American Basics. The Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth. Both are renewed in my database.
Interesting to note, that chick Ciera - whom I'm not attracted to, but for some reason once had a dream that she was orally copulating me - has transferred from Hot Topic to the girly store, Justice, right next to it. It makes sense since her buddy, Vickita, made the same transfer months ago. Her back was turned as she vacuumed, but it's hard not to miss the pink and purple hair.
I read more of The Bridge to Neverland at Barnes & Noble before visiting Dave (the teacher, not the rockstar, nor the bartending classmate) and watching Paul on DVD. On that note, Sijourney Weaver is cougar status.
I went home and busted a #3 to the chick who did my abdominal aortic aneurysm (AAA) tests at the hospital last Wednesday and then to Jessica at American Basics. Guess what? You know how sometimes I try to hit a target number of strokes? Well, I was reviewing some porn ... And I last longer than the dudes in a few videos! Me > amateur pornstars.
Thursday, October 6, 2011
"You could have totally fucked the shit out of that girl." "No one wants to fuck me. I look like Voldemort."
I was supposed to be late, but previews were inexplicably fifteen minutes long today and I even had time to go to the restroom before the movie started. I saw Abduction at 1:40PM starring Taylor Lautner and then snuck into 50/50 at 3:30PM (Anna Kendrick is such a babe) and Killer Elite at 5:10PM.
I spotted my old chief of staff, Jeremy, from Mann Theater. I guess the rumors were true that Mann Theater was going out of business, thus his now working for AMC. I had to sneak past him as he would've easily recognized me and noticed that I had been there the whole day with a bag full of food.
Outside, there was some event called "A Taste of Downtown Burbank" that crowded the street. Some girl collecting donations for starving children in Asia - I've avoided them before - wouldn't leave me alone after recognizing I was Filipino and then tried to speak to me in Tagalog. Like a bad ass, I didn't shake her hand when she offered. Like a bad ass, I gave her a dollar to go away. But she was very thankful.
At the mall down the street, the [Harry]Potterhead was working at Hot Topic. (Again, not the one that I frequent in my usual stomping grounds.) The last time I saw her, I was with the ones code-named "Choir Boy" and "G," (see entry 9/17/11) but steered clear as I didn't want to risk them embarrassing me. (For example, "Hey, he stares at you!") I went to the restroom to fix myself before walking inside Hot Topic. We technically spoke ... as she told me what sales were going on, which in my mind was basically, "blah, blah, blah," as I stared deeply into her eyes and renewed her in my database.
I spotted my old chief of staff, Jeremy, from Mann Theater. I guess the rumors were true that Mann Theater was going out of business, thus his now working for AMC. I had to sneak past him as he would've easily recognized me and noticed that I had been there the whole day with a bag full of food.
Outside, there was some event called "A Taste of Downtown Burbank" that crowded the street. Some girl collecting donations for starving children in Asia - I've avoided them before - wouldn't leave me alone after recognizing I was Filipino and then tried to speak to me in Tagalog. Like a bad ass, I didn't shake her hand when she offered. Like a bad ass, I gave her a dollar to go away. But she was very thankful.
At the mall down the street, the [Harry]Potterhead was working at Hot Topic. (Again, not the one that I frequent in my usual stomping grounds.) The last time I saw her, I was with the ones code-named "Choir Boy" and "G," (see entry 9/17/11) but steered clear as I didn't want to risk them embarrassing me. (For example, "Hey, he stares at you!") I went to the restroom to fix myself before walking inside Hot Topic. We technically spoke ... as she told me what sales were going on, which in my mind was basically, "blah, blah, blah," as I stared deeply into her eyes and renewed her in my database.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
"Did you ever have angina?" "I don't know what that is."
The treadmill at the gym says I burned 355.5 calories over a distance of 3.13 miles, but that could just be a ballpark figure.
I finally bought those caffeine-free thermogenic capsules by Apex. They were supposed to be $29.99. Allie was working the front desk.
ALLIE: $14.30.
RYAN: How did it become $14:30-- I'm not complaining!
ALLIE: Oh, it's 40% off right now, so ... Sick, man. Good timing.
1) We exchanged banter. That's, like, verbal sex. 2) Anytime a chick says a modern slang word, such as sick, it's boner-status. Allie's renewed in my database.
I busted a #3 to that cougar lady, Merriam, yesterday who did the test on my carotid arteries. She's the one who looks like an older version of Kara Dioguardi with unkempt hair. I just remembered that she told me, "Your [blood] vessels look really pretty."
At the mall, the Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth, again blowing her bubble gum into a bubble until it popped, repeatedly. She's renewed in the database. I guess that jackoffable chick at the Waba Teriyaki Grill - who looks less jackoffable ever since dying her blond hair dark brown, only because the blond matched better with her skin complexion - is renewed in the database as well.
I helped mommy with the clothes at the laundromat. We ate dinner at Burger King. I ended the night by reading more of The Bridge to Neverland at Barnes & Noble.
I finally bought those caffeine-free thermogenic capsules by Apex. They were supposed to be $29.99. Allie was working the front desk.
ALLIE: $14.30.
RYAN: How did it become $14:30-- I'm not complaining!
ALLIE: Oh, it's 40% off right now, so ... Sick, man. Good timing.
1) We exchanged banter. That's, like, verbal sex. 2) Anytime a chick says a modern slang word, such as sick, it's boner-status. Allie's renewed in my database.
I busted a #3 to that cougar lady, Merriam, yesterday who did the test on my carotid arteries. She's the one who looks like an older version of Kara Dioguardi with unkempt hair. I just remembered that she told me, "Your [blood] vessels look really pretty."
At the mall, the Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth, again blowing her bubble gum into a bubble until it popped, repeatedly. She's renewed in the database. I guess that jackoffable chick at the Waba Teriyaki Grill - who looks less jackoffable ever since dying her blond hair dark brown, only because the blond matched better with her skin complexion - is renewed in the database as well.
I helped mommy with the clothes at the laundromat. We ate dinner at Burger King. I ended the night by reading more of The Bridge to Neverland at Barnes & Noble.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Another kind of blood pressure
I had a couple of dreams last night: 1) I was in jail with many people I knew. I recognized my fellow [Harry]Potterhead, Ally, was present. I never found out what the charges against me were. I was only told that I tried to represent myself in court for a second offense (and apparently failed). The parole officer was Britney Spears in glasses, a ridiculous purple suit and carrying a clipboard. 2) I was riding a motorcycle down an empty street with up and down slopes. Simple enough. End of dreams.
Bad news: Internet was down at home, which meant that phones were down as well since our Internet powers the microcell that in turn powers our coverage. Good news: I went to the hospital today for an event. Mommy, who works in said hospital, hooked me up and I got to take all these tests for free that would normally cost hundreds of dollars.
Anyway, it all ended with a consultation with a heart surgeon, who was friends with my mommy ... and who made me lose faith in doctors. She thought my body mass index (BMI) was a tad obese - though the gym considers me lean! - and didn't understand the importance of Branch Chain Amino Acids (BCAA). Moral of the story: The gym and doctors don't agree!
Mommy treated me to food in the cafeteria. Despite what the doctor told me a few minutes prior, I pigged out on salad loaded with bleu cheese, enchiladas, salmon, and chicken.
I was fantasizing being Ryan Gosling in Drive, albeit with the not so bad boy use of a hands-free device, when the one code-named "Choir Boy" finally called me back. I had to raincheck for Breakin' class at Millennium Dance Complex due to insecurity of performing anything athletic after just having blood drawn.
RYAN: My blood pressure was read as high, but it was probably just 'cause the chick was hot.
"CHOIR BOY": But isn't that another kind of blood pressure?
I ended the night with a new episode of Glee, definitely one of the top three best episodes so far, guest-starring - wait for it, wait for it - Tamlyn Tomita (Daniel LaRusso's chick in The Karate Kid II) and Don Most (Ralph Malph in Happy Days).
And then mommy checked my blood pressure with her own whatever-it's-called. My blood pressure was normal after all!
Bad news: Internet was down at home, which meant that phones were down as well since our Internet powers the microcell that in turn powers our coverage. Good news: I went to the hospital today for an event. Mommy, who works in said hospital, hooked me up and I got to take all these tests for free that would normally cost hundreds of dollars.
- I noticed that I no longer flinch nor am hesitant when getting injected in the vein to get blood drawn.
- The chick who took my blood pressure was an armenian chick named Melanie, whose bottle blond hair contrasted greatly with her dark brown roots that were already growing out ... and with her all dark brown hair that was in her ID picture. Ha. But she's in the database for sufficiently being able to pass as white. And then my blood pressure was incorrectly read as high. She proposed that I was probably just having anxieties.
- Unfortunately, the chick who did my abdominal aortic aneurysm (AAA) test had her name tag inverted due to gravity, a shame because she was the most jackoffable brunette I've seen in a while. Her hair's thin and a little past shoulder length, but the bangs were actually cut well - pointy and separation between strands. Her lipstick was natural colored. She's in the database.
- The slightly cougar lady had her name tag hidden as well, but thank God she introduced herself as I can now scream out her name - Merriam (though it could be spelled differently). She started out by saying she liked my hair. Score! She vaguely looks like an older Kara Dioguardi with unkempt hair.
Anyway, it all ended with a consultation with a heart surgeon, who was friends with my mommy ... and who made me lose faith in doctors. She thought my body mass index (BMI) was a tad obese - though the gym considers me lean! - and didn't understand the importance of Branch Chain Amino Acids (BCAA). Moral of the story: The gym and doctors don't agree!
Mommy treated me to food in the cafeteria. Despite what the doctor told me a few minutes prior, I pigged out on salad loaded with bleu cheese, enchiladas, salmon, and chicken.
I was fantasizing being Ryan Gosling in Drive, albeit with the not so bad boy use of a hands-free device, when the one code-named "Choir Boy" finally called me back. I had to raincheck for Breakin' class at Millennium Dance Complex due to insecurity of performing anything athletic after just having blood drawn.
RYAN: My blood pressure was read as high, but it was probably just 'cause the chick was hot.
"CHOIR BOY": But isn't that another kind of blood pressure?
I ended the night with a new episode of Glee, definitely one of the top three best episodes so far, guest-starring - wait for it, wait for it - Tamlyn Tomita (Daniel LaRusso's chick in The Karate Kid II) and Don Most (Ralph Malph in Happy Days).
And then mommy checked my blood pressure with her own whatever-it's-called. My blood pressure was normal after all!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Half-Thousand
I busted a #3 to Leah. When I saw her last Friday, she looked low maintenance for a change, which looked better than her usual high maintenance look. (See entry 9/30/11.) Her hair was tied in a ball and her red streaks were fading to pink. She wore a sweater and jeans instead of her usual glamorous attire. I noticed she had those stretchy-hole-whatever-they're-called ear piercings that look like they hurt, but not too mutilated. She just looks better dressed down. Today was an endurance practice. I'm happy to almost reach a half-thousand number of strokes.
In my usual stomping grounds today, the Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth. She was blowing her bubble gum until it popped over and over again. I didn't know people still did that with their gum. She's renewed in the database. Jessica at American Basics was renewed in the database as well. And I guess so was that jackoffable white chick at the Waba Teriyaki Grill even if she is less jackoffable after dying her blond hair dark brown.
Mommy and I ate dinner at Cheesecake Factory.
Afterward, at Barnes & Noble, the ambiguous looking chick, Monica, was there. She's renewed in the database. But more important than hormones: I finally started reading The Bridge to Neverland! I ended the night at home with WWE RAW.
In my usual stomping grounds today, the Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth. She was blowing her bubble gum until it popped over and over again. I didn't know people still did that with their gum. She's renewed in the database. Jessica at American Basics was renewed in the database as well. And I guess so was that jackoffable white chick at the Waba Teriyaki Grill even if she is less jackoffable after dying her blond hair dark brown.
Mommy and I ate dinner at Cheesecake Factory.
Afterward, at Barnes & Noble, the ambiguous looking chick, Monica, was there. She's renewed in the database. But more important than hormones: I finally started reading The Bridge to Neverland! I ended the night at home with WWE RAW.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Right cross:582 PSI. Right roundhouse: 685 PSI.
It turns out that the one code-named "G" was able to find a Sami Scott video after all. (In reference to a list of porn stars I gave him to look up for me a while back.) You know that feeling that kids have when their parents tell them that they couldn't find a certain present only to wake up Christmas morning to find that they got it after all? It's the same feeling when I got to watch this full Sami Scott video from the Please Bang My Wife series.
When I got home last night, I busted a #3 to Lizet, who works at Rubio's.
I just remembered I had a few weird dreams the night before: 1) I was looking through Power Rangers comics in a library, which were up to volume 30. An old coworker, Aubrey, was sitting on the floor leaning against the left wall. Mark bent down towards the right shelves with encyclopedia-sized works and mentioned, "That would be assuming I know everything." As a taunt, someone hugged me from behind while I made masturbation gestures at Mark's face. Aubrey laughed. 2) I was stopping my mommy from smoking a cigarette. 3) I was in the past ala Back to the Future. Something happened where people sprung into action in a hero-ish way. I was looking on, standing outside of a house on the right side of its doorway. I moved over to its other side to stand next to an older cougar lady and in a flirty way said, "Now that's not Rambo." (Implying I was Rambo.) End of dreams.
I overslept and stopped by Church after it was over. I arrived to Mark's house, looking huge in my red tanktop.
MARK: Looking huge.
RYAN: Thanks.
But then I changed into my Taylor Swift shirt. Arthur arrived. It was the first time the three of us were together since Arthur and Mayra's wedding. (See 5/6/11.) Erik (with a "K," not to be confused with the Eric who's been a substitute teacher at Top Rocking class) arrived last.
ERIK: All Asians look alike. I was about to get into somebody else's car down the street thinking they were you guys! It was embarrassing!
RYAN: Is there a camera at this intersection?
MARK: No.
RYAN: Good, because on the way here, I ran the red light because I thought I was running late.
ERIK: Even if there was, you no longer have to pay the ticket because they decided [cameras] were unethical or something.
Disclaimer: Double-check the above with your county before you do anything crazy.
Round 1 of celebrating Mark's Birthday: We went to Henry's Hat for Happy Hour. (Not a place to go to when it's not Happy Hour.) We drank a tower (equivalent of two-and-a-half pitchers) of Blue Moon, a tower of New Castle and two pitchers of Guinness. We mixed the last of the Blue Moon with Guinness to make a Black & Blue, a.k.a. a Rihanna, though that's fucked up that a drink was named after her physical appearance after getting beaten by Chris Brown.
ERIK: Guys, we're doing some serious drinking.
Round 2: We walked to Saddle Ranch because it was less than a mile away.
ERIK: (At me) I'm sure this is no problem for you because you walk everywhere.
MARK: My walking stops at 20 feet!
Erik and I shared an Adios-MotherFucker and I think some kind of beef, which I drunkenly can't remember if it was prime rib or filet mignon.
Then we each took a turn at an arcade that measures punching power in pounds per square inch (PSI). My right cross was measured at 582 PSI. I said, "Fuck it," and roundhouse-kicked it at 685 PSI!
Round 3: We walked to Howl at the Moon. We each had a Black & Coke. We were finally done.
At Mark's house, Erik's dad picked him up because it turns out that he's on probation right now. I slept well.
When I got home last night, I busted a #3 to Lizet, who works at Rubio's.
I just remembered I had a few weird dreams the night before: 1) I was looking through Power Rangers comics in a library, which were up to volume 30. An old coworker, Aubrey, was sitting on the floor leaning against the left wall. Mark bent down towards the right shelves with encyclopedia-sized works and mentioned, "That would be assuming I know everything." As a taunt, someone hugged me from behind while I made masturbation gestures at Mark's face. Aubrey laughed. 2) I was stopping my mommy from smoking a cigarette. 3) I was in the past ala Back to the Future. Something happened where people sprung into action in a hero-ish way. I was looking on, standing outside of a house on the right side of its doorway. I moved over to its other side to stand next to an older cougar lady and in a flirty way said, "Now that's not Rambo." (Implying I was Rambo.) End of dreams.
I overslept and stopped by Church after it was over. I arrived to Mark's house, looking huge in my red tanktop.
MARK: Looking huge.
RYAN: Thanks.
But then I changed into my Taylor Swift shirt. Arthur arrived. It was the first time the three of us were together since Arthur and Mayra's wedding. (See 5/6/11.) Erik (with a "K," not to be confused with the Eric who's been a substitute teacher at Top Rocking class) arrived last.
ERIK: All Asians look alike. I was about to get into somebody else's car down the street thinking they were you guys! It was embarrassing!
RYAN: Is there a camera at this intersection?
MARK: No.
RYAN: Good, because on the way here, I ran the red light because I thought I was running late.
ERIK: Even if there was, you no longer have to pay the ticket because they decided [cameras] were unethical or something.
Disclaimer: Double-check the above with your county before you do anything crazy.
Round 1 of celebrating Mark's Birthday: We went to Henry's Hat for Happy Hour. (Not a place to go to when it's not Happy Hour.) We drank a tower (equivalent of two-and-a-half pitchers) of Blue Moon, a tower of New Castle and two pitchers of Guinness. We mixed the last of the Blue Moon with Guinness to make a Black & Blue, a.k.a. a Rihanna, though that's fucked up that a drink was named after her physical appearance after getting beaten by Chris Brown.
ERIK: Guys, we're doing some serious drinking.
Round 2: We walked to Saddle Ranch because it was less than a mile away.
ERIK: (At me) I'm sure this is no problem for you because you walk everywhere.
MARK: My walking stops at 20 feet!
Erik and I shared an Adios-MotherFucker and I think some kind of beef, which I drunkenly can't remember if it was prime rib or filet mignon.
Then we each took a turn at an arcade that measures punching power in pounds per square inch (PSI). My right cross was measured at 582 PSI. I said, "Fuck it," and roundhouse-kicked it at 685 PSI!
Round 3: We walked to Howl at the Moon. We each had a Black & Coke. We were finally done.
At Mark's house, Erik's dad picked him up because it turns out that he's on probation right now. I slept well.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
The Bridge to Neverland has finally arrived!
I called the Debbie Reynolds Dance Studio ahead of time to ask who was teaching the Top Rocking class this week ... and it was cancelled for today. Nobody in management knows where the regular teacher, Ynot, is and they couldn't find a substitute teacher.
So I had some good quality "sit on my ass at home" time during the day. Although, when stumbling onto a new dance style that I didn't recognize on the studio's schedule and then looking it up on Youtube.com, I found the one thing I would never do: Waacking.
I did compound exercises at the gym.
I was on the way to hang out with the one code-named "Choir Boy" when I got sidetracked: When I got out of the shower and had the wet look going on, I felt it deserved to be showed off via strutting.
Strutting around the Americana, I noticed the Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth even though she's usually working at the one inside the mall across the street. I guess there's two locations. So cool to know. She's renewed in the database.
Robert, the manager at Rubio's, called out to me. He was sitting with a friend named Debbie. I think he was trying to hide a tattoo on his arm.
In Barnes & Noble, that ambiguous looking chick Monica was working. She was rocking the geek chick glasses and a pink headband with her hair gelled back somehow. She's renewed in the database. BUT even better than anything hormonal: I was looking through the shelf of the Peter and the Starcatchers series in an OCD manner ... and the long-awaited The Bridge to Neverland had finally arrived!
RYAN: Have you ever heard of waacking?
"CHOIR BOY": I would never do that!
We finally finished Transporter 3. I can't piece everything else in accurate chronological order due to alcohol, but a couple of things: 1) We watched Tropic Thunder. 2) The one code-named "Super A" arrived wearing a white Viper Room tanktop, which I have in black. I then brought up how I made out with that lesbian named Julia, while she had a girlfriend, at the Viper Room. Conversely, "Super A" fended off a lesbian at the Viper Room. It's like our bond is stronger now due to incidents with lesbians.
So I had some good quality "sit on my ass at home" time during the day. Although, when stumbling onto a new dance style that I didn't recognize on the studio's schedule and then looking it up on Youtube.com, I found the one thing I would never do: Waacking.
I did compound exercises at the gym.
I was on the way to hang out with the one code-named "Choir Boy" when I got sidetracked: When I got out of the shower and had the wet look going on, I felt it deserved to be showed off via strutting.
Strutting around the Americana, I noticed the Adelle look-alike was working at the "i Play & Talk" vendor booth even though she's usually working at the one inside the mall across the street. I guess there's two locations. So cool to know. She's renewed in the database.
Robert, the manager at Rubio's, called out to me. He was sitting with a friend named Debbie. I think he was trying to hide a tattoo on his arm.
In Barnes & Noble, that ambiguous looking chick Monica was working. She was rocking the geek chick glasses and a pink headband with her hair gelled back somehow. She's renewed in the database. BUT even better than anything hormonal: I was looking through the shelf of the Peter and the Starcatchers series in an OCD manner ... and the long-awaited The Bridge to Neverland had finally arrived!
RYAN: Have you ever heard of waacking?
"CHOIR BOY": I would never do that!
We finally finished Transporter 3. I can't piece everything else in accurate chronological order due to alcohol, but a couple of things: 1) We watched Tropic Thunder. 2) The one code-named "Super A" arrived wearing a white Viper Room tanktop, which I have in black. I then brought up how I made out with that lesbian named Julia, while she had a girlfriend, at the Viper Room. Conversely, "Super A" fended off a lesbian at the Viper Room. It's like our bond is stronger now due to incidents with lesbians.
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