As I drifted to sleep last night, I was thinking about what would've happened if Matt and I never bombed that pro-wrestling tryout - considering that the head trainer, Bryan Danielson, has since been hired by WWE - which resulted in the following weird dream: I was watching a rerun of the Chris Benoit tribute, but as a reflection of WWE's real life decision to delete him from its history due to his double-murder/suicide, any mention of his name was dubbed over and his appearance blurred out except for his masked persona as the Pegasus Kid in Japan.
I woke up, but went back to sleep only to dream - and here's my favorite of the night - that I was dry-humping Nickie. Actually, we were both naked except for one of us wearing pants, though I don't remember which one of us. End of dreams.
After finishing my Red Robin leftovers for breakfast, I played my guitar one last time before cutting my claws - er, nails - which means it's going to be a bitch playing tremolo fingering technique until they grow back.
I finally found the recycling center, but the employees are slackers.
SLACKER DUDE: [As I arrive at 4:50PM] We close at 4:30.
RYAN: [Pointing to sign that reads, "7:30"]
SLACKER CHICK: I don't have any new stickers yet to paste over the old sign.
On the way to Costco to do grownup stuff like buy milk and water, I took the shortcut through Matt's street and it was like the series finale of The OC where the protagonist Ryan Atwood (Benjamin McKenzie) - who has the same name as me - sees the ghost of Marissa Cooper (Mischa Barton) as he drives away from her house. Except it was Matt's ghost instead of Marissa Cooper's, and Matt's not dead. But you know what I mean. ♫ California here I come ♪ right back where I started from ♬ Californiaaaaaaa ...
Mommy's accountant, Lena, finally visited after thinking she was dead due to not being able to get in touch with her in months!
MOMMY: Why don't you just hook up with a Kardashian? They have money.
RYAN: I don't think they're pretty.
MOMMY: Nevermind. They're only famous for a sex tape.
RYAN: Why don't I just do that with Kelly Clarkson?
MOMMY: But she's fat.
I posted the above conversation as my Facebook status and within thirty seconds got a "thumbs up" from Biggie. Whoa, that was fast. And it was time for the ultraviolent ...
At the mall, I remembered something from yesterday when experiencing déjà vu in the restroom: You know what's a pet peeve? Having to pee only to see the restroom closed for cleanup. Well, yesterday, I ignored the security tape and started peeing. The cleaning lady exclaimed, "(As a curse word) Jesus!" She "dogged" me, as kids say. I gave her back a vibe like, Don't make me turn around while peeing. She backed down. Word.
Dana was working at Lush Cosmetics. I almost forgot she existed. She's renewed in the database. Jessica was working at American Basics, wearing a white sweater instead of the usual black that is her uniform. She's renewed in the database. That chick Ciera - whom I'm not attracted to, but for some reason once had a dream that she was orally copulating me - and who just transferred from Hot Topic to that girly store Justice, was vacuuming again. She looked so bored.
At Barnes & Noble, I'm almost done reading The Bridge to Neverland.
I don't know who Googles themselves for seventeen pages, but in that case ... Hi Heather!
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