Another kind of blood pressure

I had a couple of dreams last night: 1) I was in jail with many people I knew. I recognized my fellow [Harry]Potterhead, Ally, was present. I never found out what the charges against me were. I was only told that I tried to represent myself in court for a second offense (and apparently failed). The parole officer was Britney Spears in glasses, a ridiculous purple suit and carrying a clipboard. 2) I was riding a motorcycle down an empty street with up and down slopes. Simple enough. End of dreams.

Bad news: Internet was down at home, which meant that phones were down as well since our Internet powers the microcell that in turn powers our coverage. Good news: I went to the hospital today for an event. Mommy, who works in said hospital, hooked me up and I got to take all these tests for free that would normally cost hundreds of dollars.

• I noticed that I no longer flinch nor am hesitant when getting injected in the vein to get blood drawn.
• The chick who took my blood pressure was an armenian chick named Melanie, whose bottle blond hair contrasted greatly with her dark brown roots that were already growing out ... and with her all dark brown hair that was in her ID picture. Ha. But she's in the database for sufficiently being able to pass as white. And then my blood pressure was incorrectly read as high. She proposed that I was probably just having anxieties.
• Unfortunately, the chick who did my abdominal aortic aneurysm (AAA) test had her name tag inverted due to gravity, a shame because she was the most jackoffable brunette I've seen in a while. Her hair's thin and a little past shoulder length, but the bangs were actually cut well - pointy and separation between strands. Her lipstick was natural colored. She's in the database.
• The slightly cougar lady had her name tag hidden as well, but thank God she introduced herself as I can now scream out her name - Merriam (though it could be spelled differently). She started out by saying she liked my hair. Score! She vaguely looks like an older Kara Dioguardi with unkempt hair.

Anyway, it all ended with a consultation with a heart surgeon, who was friends with my mommy ... and who made me lose faith in doctors. She thought my body mass index (BMI) was a tad obese - though the gym considers me lean! - and didn't understand the importance of Branch Chain Amino Acids (BCAA). Moral of the story: The gym and doctors don't agree!

Mommy treated me to food in the cafeteria. Despite what the doctor told me a few minutes prior, I pigged out on salad loaded with bleu cheese, enchiladas, salmon, and chicken.

I was fantasizing being Ryan Gosling in Drive, albeit with the not so bad boy use of a hands-free device, when the one code-named "Choir Boy" finally called me back. I had to raincheck for Breakin' class at Millennium Dance Complex due to insecurity of performing anything athletic after just having blood drawn.

RYAN: My blood pressure was read as high, but it was probably just 'cause the chick was hot.
"CHOIR BOY": But isn't that another kind of blood pressure?

I ended the night with a new episode of Glee, definitely one of the top three best episodes so far, guest-starring - wait for it, wait for it - Tamlyn Tomita (Daniel LaRusso's chick in The Karate Kid II) and Don Most (Ralph Malph in Happy Days).

And then mommy checked my blood pressure with her own whatever-it's-called. My blood pressure was normal after all!