It turns out that the one code-named "G" was able to find a Sami Scott video after all. (In reference to a list of porn stars I gave him to look up for me a while back.) You know that feeling that kids have when their parents tell them that they couldn't find a certain present only to wake up Christmas morning to find that they got it after all? It's the same feeling when I got to watch this full Sami Scott video from the Please Bang My Wife series.
When I got home last night, I busted a #3 to Lizet, who works at Rubio's.
I just remembered I had a few weird dreams the night before: 1) I was looking through Power Rangers comics in a library, which were up to volume 30. An old coworker, Aubrey, was sitting on the floor leaning against the left wall. Mark bent down towards the right shelves with encyclopedia-sized works and mentioned, "That would be assuming I know everything." As a taunt, someone hugged me from behind while I made masturbation gestures at Mark's face. Aubrey laughed. 2) I was stopping my mommy from smoking a cigarette. 3) I was in the past ala Back to the Future. Something happened where people sprung into action in a hero-ish way. I was looking on, standing outside of a house on the right side of its doorway. I moved over to its other side to stand next to an older cougar lady and in a flirty way said, "Now that's not Rambo." (Implying I was Rambo.) End of dreams.
I overslept and stopped by Church after it was over. I arrived to Mark's house, looking huge in my red tanktop.
MARK: Looking huge.
RYAN: Thanks.
But then I changed into my Taylor Swift shirt. Arthur arrived. It was the first time the three of us were together since Arthur and Mayra's wedding. (See 5/6/11.) Erik (with a "K," not to be confused with the Eric who's been a substitute teacher at Top Rocking class) arrived last.
ERIK: All Asians look alike. I was about to get into somebody else's car down the street thinking they were you guys! It was embarrassing!
RYAN: Is there a camera at this intersection?
MARK: No.
RYAN: Good, because on the way here, I ran the red light because I thought I was running late.
ERIK: Even if there was, you no longer have to pay the ticket because they decided [cameras] were unethical or something.
Disclaimer: Double-check the above with your county before you do anything crazy.
Round 1 of celebrating Mark's Birthday: We went to Henry's Hat for Happy Hour. (Not a place to go to when it's not Happy Hour.) We drank a tower (equivalent of two-and-a-half pitchers) of Blue Moon, a tower of New Castle and two pitchers of Guinness. We mixed the last of the Blue Moon with Guinness to make a Black & Blue, a.k.a. a Rihanna, though that's fucked up that a drink was named after her physical appearance after getting beaten by Chris Brown.
ERIK: Guys, we're doing some serious drinking.
Round 2: We walked to Saddle Ranch because it was less than a mile away.
ERIK: (At me) I'm sure this is no problem for you because you walk everywhere.
MARK: My walking stops at 20 feet!
Erik and I shared an Adios-MotherFucker and I think some kind of beef, which I drunkenly can't remember if it was prime rib or filet mignon.
Then we each took a turn at an arcade that measures punching power in pounds per square inch (PSI). My right cross was measured at 582 PSI. I said, "Fuck it," and roundhouse-kicked it at 685 PSI!
Round 3: We walked to Howl at the Moon. We each had a Black & Coke. We were finally done.
At Mark's house, Erik's dad picked him up because it turns out that he's on probation right now. I slept well.
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