Last night, I purposely skipped dinner at Islands because I think it's a rip off. The price I pay for an Islands burger alone (fries NOT included) is the same price of a burger at Red Robin that includes bottomless fries!
I had just missed Gavin and Roxy because they had to wake up early the next morning. Wussies! The remaining guests: Erica, Arthur, Myra (I guess Arthur's new girl), Ron (Mark's coworker whom I met months ago at the hookah bar), Mary (Ron's girl), Patrick (whom I haven't seen since Ferry Corsten in Hollywood last October) and Julie (Patrick's friend).
I bought a Guinness. Then I accidentally started a trend. I bought a pitcher of Coors Light. Then Mark disappeared ...
ERICA: Where is Mark? He is not allowed to handle money tonight!
Then Mark came back with ANOTHER pitcher! And then Patrick bought ANOTHER pitcher to follow the trend. Yeah, we were buzzed.
I was wearing my shirt that says, "Got your tickets? To the gun show!" The bartenders asked me to flex my guns. I gave them my triceps.
The bartender who served me my pitcher, a blond chick (Yeah, I'd hit it), kept smiling at me until she finally talked to me.
BARTENDER: I wanted to ask you, was there anything wrong with the service?
RYAN: No, why do you ask that?
BARTENDER: Well, you didn't tip me.
RYAN: Yeah, I did. I put a couple dollars in there.
BARTENDER: Oh, it must've fallen out.
Yeah, right. She just needed an excuse to talk to me.
MARK: Hey Ryan, that girl Julie likes you. She says she's been flirting with you the whole night, but she says you've been giving her the cold shoulder. Erica's talking to her right now about guys.
RYAN: What? She hasn't said a damn thing to me the whole night!
Not unless her lip-syncing to Technotronic's Pump up the Jam at me counts. So then Patrick said he'd play wingman and this was his plan:
We went to Lucy's in another part of Burbank. But it was closed. But we met some strangers and went to their apartment afterward. Then Julie started talking to some black dude named Gilbert. Some black chick named Diandra started flirting with me. She said she's actually 1/8 Filipino. Patrick was feeling Diandra's tits. If anything, we'd have to double-team her because I'd have to share with Patrick so he doesn't feel left out. But then Diandra passed out because she was so drunk.
An actor there named Dave (that's a lot of Dave's I've met now) advised me that when I get paid for a gig, I can ask an agent, "Hey, I'm getting paid for some work. Do you wanna represent me?"
I took Patrick home and left Julie there for being a slut. Oh, don't worry, I put her in my database. And when I bust a #3 to her, I'll make sure it's violent just to stick it to her! I ate a bunch of dates at Patrick's place to sober up while he showed me where he's been around the world. I now have 3 new ideas for partying: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada; Ibiza, Spain; and Kazantip, Ukraine.
And then Patrick found out that he accidentally took Julie's keys. So then the black dude had to drop her off to pick up her keys and then left again. I got home at 6:00AM. Almost fell asleep twice at the wheel. I tried to fire up the porn, but fell asleep.
I got a text from Eugene a little after 10:00AM today inviting me for tea at 2:00PM. But he left earlier than planned and I didn't feel like driving. I arrived at the Glendale Marketplace at 2:30PM to be 1 of Iam's back-up instrument players for a talent show, but there was no talent show to be found.
My mommy and I ate at Granville. The manager must be a dude because all the employees are cute chicks and the only male worker I've seen is gay (which, if the manager is a dude, just ensures his chances with all the chick workers). Our server was named Chelsea. I don't know if it was just my imagination, but I caught her looking at me a lot. I put her in my database.
Brian at the GNC gave me another Muscle & Fitness magazine with Stone Cold Steve Austin on the cover.
Highlight of the day: I walked by the Red Robin and saw Jazz. I might as well have cummed in my pants. I took in my mental masturbation to make up for the Julie debacle the night before/early morning.
I saw Iam at the gym and he said that there were only 3 performers at the talent show that it ended within a few minutes. He was actually at In-N-Out watching me from across the street when I finally arrived.
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