Just accessing the internet through my phone (holy fucking technology, Batman!) as my mommy, her sister, and I wait impatiently at my mommy's sister's house. We were in a rush to get ready for dinner with some family friends from out of town, but those fuckers are stuck in traffic on the 5, meaning I cut my gym time short for nothing. FYI: I'm wearing my "Got Your Tickets? To The Gun Show" shirt right now.
I greeted Steve a Happy Birthday today. He's at Disneyland.
Let's review: Steve was responsible for an interesting chapter in my life. His ex-girlfriend, Reese, was a stripper. Reese had a younger sister, Raquel, who was also a stripper. Steve and Reese were always getting third-wheeled by Raquel until Reese got fed up and asked Steve, "Do you have any friends to keep her busy?" You guessed it. That's where I came in. Coincidentally, Raquel gave me a lap dance on my 22nd Birthday when we didn't even know her yet. The stripper sisters were Harry Potter fans, so we got along well. Steve used to have to ask me Harry Potter questions just to understand the sisters. Anyway, after Steve and Reese broke up, things got heated between the sisters because apparently Raquel had a crush on Steve. But bros before hoes.
I might have a new favorite pornstar: Trisha Rey. There's this series about a massage parlor. There's never any intercourse in these episodes, just really creative handjobs and sometimes a blowjob. But then this chick Trisha Rey shows up and for the 1st time ever breaks the rules by going all the way! I was like, WTF? So I looked up her other videos and there was a time when her hair was a certain way that she was billed as ... wait for it, wait for it ... a Kelly Clarkson look-a-like! Yeah, I am so waiting for the weekend when I can be alone more.
In the car now and just pulled into the parking lot of some place called Buon Gusto. Time to grub.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
... in a heterosexual way
I busted a #3 to that blond bartender from Fantasia's Billiards (see entry 9/26/09) and to Chelsea from Granville Cafe (see entry 9/27/09). Yeah, double duty today.
I rocked in guitar practice with the same old song and then got some more classical stuff by J.S. Bach and Hotel California by the Eagles.
Then went to the gym for the usual workout with the now usual Wolverine mentality (see entry 9/26/09), with sets of - no specific number for reps, but - reps until failure. Yup, endurance. Nonstop reps until my body gives out. And then no more than a 1-minute rest before doing it again.
I saw Mauricio, an old friend from the 1 semester (Fall '06) I did at Glendale Community College. I flexed my pecs for him in a heterosexual way. He texted me his number, also in a heterosexual way:
I rocked in guitar practice with the same old song and then got some more classical stuff by J.S. Bach and Hotel California by the Eagles.
Then went to the gym for the usual workout with the now usual Wolverine mentality (see entry 9/26/09), with sets of - no specific number for reps, but - reps until failure. Yup, endurance. Nonstop reps until my body gives out. And then no more than a 1-minute rest before doing it again.
I saw Mauricio, an old friend from the 1 semester (Fall '06) I did at Glendale Community College. I flexed my pecs for him in a heterosexual way. He texted me his number, also in a heterosexual way:
Dis is ma numba good chest bro
Monday, September 28, 2009
As I pass, do I give you the ass or the crotch?
Today's Capoeira class: Andres, Gabriel, Diana, Louis, Jesse I, Jesse II, Chris, and Kevin who I haven't seen since last June because he spent the summer touring with a band. I arrived just in time to catch up to them on their run. Today was Brazilian Jujitsu Day, though.
We drilled armbars. It was my 1st time grappling with a girl (Diana). I put full concentration into not getting a boner. Thank God my concentration worked! Also, everyone's impressed with my double-jointedness.
Instead of the usual King of the Hill, today's game was the reverse and had the loser staying in. I went 1st against Louis. It ended in literally under 10 seconds when I passed his guard attempt, got sidemount and a shoulderlock. Kevin went against him next and won. That's when we instated a "2 loss maximum" to free the loser from the circle. Jesse I armbarred Kevin at the time limit! That shit only exists on TV!
I lost track after that, but Jesse II decided to roll against Chris despite being injured. Jesse II won - I forget with what. Diana was supposed to be next, but was too scared. So I had to go against Chris. He tried to cheap shot after shaking hands.
CHRIS: C'mon!
ANDRES: Don't egg him on. Ryan's pretty good.
And I rear-naked choked him shortly afterward! Then I had to roll with Andres. I was overwhelmed. I basically did "lay and pray," even though I was on the bottom, and kept asking for the time. Diana played timekeeper and bailed me out as time ran out while I was stuck in an armbar. Then Diana had to roll with Andres. Andres punished her for not doing pull-ups and not running. I cornered, or advised, Diana.
RYAN: He's going for a dars choke! Now you know!
LOUIS: She doesn't know what that is!
Dammit. And then I remembered something ...
RYAN: Who's keeping time?
But a time limit wouldn't save her as she got choked out. Andres had to admit, though, he got stuck because her boobs were in the way. And she managed to briefly capitalize on his getting stuck by trying to choke him out.
RYAN: Hey, thanks for bailing me out.
DIANA: I know! And you couldn't even bail me out!
Then we were all anxious about MONSTER MASSIVE again.
ANDRES: Did you get your suit yet?
JESSE I: I'm just wearing shorts.
ANDRES: Aren't you gonna be Tarzan? Doesn't he wear a leotard or something? What about you, Kevin? A spartan?
KEVIN: Yeah.
ANDRES: So you're gonna have the skirt? What about you, Ryan?
RYAN: I'm gonna be a Twilight werewolf in human form, so just shorts. And maybe scrawl "Team Jacob" on my stomach.
LOUIS: Fag!
RYAN: (tauntingly) How's your shoulder?
EVERYONE: [laughs]
LOUIS: (through gritted teeth) It's fine!
ANDRES: I'm thinking about just attaching Hershey's kisses to my nipples.
Andres shared more stories about his time last year in response to mine where a guy said to me, "I ain't gay, but you're 1 good looking guy."
ANDRES: Do you ever hear of how some guys will say "no homo, no homo" right before they ask you if they could do something?
EVERYONE: [confused]
ANDRES: Like, last year, some guy said to me, "Can I ask you something? No homo, but can I give you a blow job real quick? No homo." How does saying "no homo" with it make it not gay?!"
Then talked about life in terms of girls.
ANDRES: You know how girls say the finest guys are gay? Well, the finest girls are lesbian!
ALL GUYS: Yeah!
ANDRES: Have you ever talked to those girls who got screwed over by some guy, so they try to turn lesbian?
RYAN: Story of my college years.
EVERYONE: [laughs]
ANDRES: Yeah, I wanna get ahold of that guy and kick his ass for blocking it for everyone!
And then sex-ed.
ANDRES: You know, someone asked me if I could have their kids? She was like, "You have the choice of the natural way or natural insemination."
JESSE I: You should've asked if you could use a condom.
ANDRES: Yeah, "Wait, can I use a condom? Can we practice a couple of times to see if I got it down?" Seriously, where was that in sex-ed? No teacher ever told me, "By the way, one day, a woman's gonna ask if you can have their kids." Where was that in the book? Were the pages stuck together?
We drilled armbars. It was my 1st time grappling with a girl (Diana). I put full concentration into not getting a boner. Thank God my concentration worked! Also, everyone's impressed with my double-jointedness.
Instead of the usual King of the Hill, today's game was the reverse and had the loser staying in. I went 1st against Louis. It ended in literally under 10 seconds when I passed his guard attempt, got sidemount and a shoulderlock. Kevin went against him next and won. That's when we instated a "2 loss maximum" to free the loser from the circle. Jesse I armbarred Kevin at the time limit! That shit only exists on TV!
I lost track after that, but Jesse II decided to roll against Chris despite being injured. Jesse II won - I forget with what. Diana was supposed to be next, but was too scared. So I had to go against Chris. He tried to cheap shot after shaking hands.
CHRIS: C'mon!
ANDRES: Don't egg him on. Ryan's pretty good.
And I rear-naked choked him shortly afterward! Then I had to roll with Andres. I was overwhelmed. I basically did "lay and pray," even though I was on the bottom, and kept asking for the time. Diana played timekeeper and bailed me out as time ran out while I was stuck in an armbar. Then Diana had to roll with Andres. Andres punished her for not doing pull-ups and not running. I cornered, or advised, Diana.
RYAN: He's going for a dars choke! Now you know!
LOUIS: She doesn't know what that is!
Dammit. And then I remembered something ...
RYAN: Who's keeping time?
But a time limit wouldn't save her as she got choked out. Andres had to admit, though, he got stuck because her boobs were in the way. And she managed to briefly capitalize on his getting stuck by trying to choke him out.
RYAN: Hey, thanks for bailing me out.
DIANA: I know! And you couldn't even bail me out!
Then we were all anxious about MONSTER MASSIVE again.
ANDRES: Did you get your suit yet?
JESSE I: I'm just wearing shorts.
ANDRES: Aren't you gonna be Tarzan? Doesn't he wear a leotard or something? What about you, Kevin? A spartan?
KEVIN: Yeah.
ANDRES: So you're gonna have the skirt? What about you, Ryan?
RYAN: I'm gonna be a Twilight werewolf in human form, so just shorts. And maybe scrawl "Team Jacob" on my stomach.
LOUIS: Fag!
RYAN: (tauntingly) How's your shoulder?
EVERYONE: [laughs]
LOUIS: (through gritted teeth) It's fine!
ANDRES: I'm thinking about just attaching Hershey's kisses to my nipples.
Andres shared more stories about his time last year in response to mine where a guy said to me, "I ain't gay, but you're 1 good looking guy."
ANDRES: Do you ever hear of how some guys will say "no homo, no homo" right before they ask you if they could do something?
EVERYONE: [confused]
ANDRES: Like, last year, some guy said to me, "Can I ask you something? No homo, but can I give you a blow job real quick? No homo." How does saying "no homo" with it make it not gay?!"
Then talked about life in terms of girls.
ANDRES: You know how girls say the finest guys are gay? Well, the finest girls are lesbian!
ALL GUYS: Yeah!
ANDRES: Have you ever talked to those girls who got screwed over by some guy, so they try to turn lesbian?
RYAN: Story of my college years.
EVERYONE: [laughs]
ANDRES: Yeah, I wanna get ahold of that guy and kick his ass for blocking it for everyone!
And then sex-ed.
ANDRES: You know, someone asked me if I could have their kids? She was like, "You have the choice of the natural way or natural insemination."
JESSE I: You should've asked if you could use a condom.
ANDRES: Yeah, "Wait, can I use a condom? Can we practice a couple of times to see if I got it down?" Seriously, where was that in sex-ed? No teacher ever told me, "By the way, one day, a woman's gonna ask if you can have their kids." Where was that in the book? Were the pages stuck together?
Sunday, September 27, 2009
100
Welcome to the 100th post!
Last night, I purposely skipped dinner at Islands because I think it's a rip off. The price I pay for an Islands burger alone (fries NOT included) is the same price of a burger at Red Robin that includes bottomless fries!
I had just missed Gavin and Roxy because they had to wake up early the next morning. Wussies! The remaining guests: Erica, Arthur, Myra (I guess Arthur's new girl), Ron (Mark's coworker whom I met months ago at the hookah bar), Mary (Ron's girl), Patrick (whom I haven't seen since Ferry Corsten in Hollywood last October) and Julie (Patrick's friend).
I bought a Guinness. Then I accidentally started a trend. I bought a pitcher of Coors Light. Then Mark disappeared ...
ERICA: Where is Mark? He is not allowed to handle money tonight!
Then Mark came back with ANOTHER pitcher! And then Patrick bought ANOTHER pitcher to follow the trend. Yeah, we were buzzed.
I was wearing my shirt that says, "Got your tickets? To the gun show!" The bartenders asked me to flex my guns. I gave them my triceps.
The bartender who served me my pitcher, a blond chick (Yeah, I'd hit it), kept smiling at me until she finally talked to me.
BARTENDER: I wanted to ask you, was there anything wrong with the service?
RYAN: No, why do you ask that?
BARTENDER: Well, you didn't tip me.
RYAN: Yeah, I did. I put a couple dollars in there.
BARTENDER: Oh, it must've fallen out.
Yeah, right. She just needed an excuse to talk to me.
MARK: Hey Ryan, that girl Julie likes you. She says she's been flirting with you the whole night, but she says you've been giving her the cold shoulder. Erica's talking to her right now about guys.
RYAN: What? She hasn't said a damn thing to me the whole night!
Not unless her lip-syncing to Technotronic's Pump up the Jam at me counts. So then Patrick said he'd play wingman and this was his plan:
We went to Lucy's in another part of Burbank. But it was closed. But we met some strangers and went to their apartment afterward. Then Julie started talking to some black dude named Gilbert. Some black chick named Diandra started flirting with me. She said she's actually 1/8 Filipino. Patrick was feeling Diandra's tits. If anything, we'd have to double-team her because I'd have to share with Patrick so he doesn't feel left out. But then Diandra passed out because she was so drunk.
An actor there named Dave (that's a lot of Dave's I've met now) advised me that when I get paid for a gig, I can ask an agent, "Hey, I'm getting paid for some work. Do you wanna represent me?"
I took Patrick home and left Julie there for being a slut. Oh, don't worry, I put her in my database. And when I bust a #3 to her, I'll make sure it's violent just to stick it to her! I ate a bunch of dates at Patrick's place to sober up while he showed me where he's been around the world. I now have 3 new ideas for partying: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada; Ibiza, Spain; and Kazantip, Ukraine.
And then Patrick found out that he accidentally took Julie's keys. So then the black dude had to drop her off to pick up her keys and then left again. I got home at 6:00AM. Almost fell asleep twice at the wheel. I tried to fire up the porn, but fell asleep.
I got a text from Eugene a little after 10:00AM today inviting me for tea at 2:00PM. But he left earlier than planned and I didn't feel like driving. I arrived at the Glendale Marketplace at 2:30PM to be 1 of Iam's back-up instrument players for a talent show, but there was no talent show to be found.
My mommy and I ate at Granville. The manager must be a dude because all the employees are cute chicks and the only male worker I've seen is gay (which, if the manager is a dude, just ensures his chances with all the chick workers). Our server was named Chelsea. I don't know if it was just my imagination, but I caught her looking at me a lot. I put her in my database.
Brian at the GNC gave me another Muscle & Fitness magazine with Stone Cold Steve Austin on the cover.
Highlight of the day: I walked by the Red Robin and saw Jazz. I might as well have cummed in my pants. I took in my mental masturbation to make up for the Julie debacle the night before/early morning.
I saw Iam at the gym and he said that there were only 3 performers at the talent show that it ended within a few minutes. He was actually at In-N-Out watching me from across the street when I finally arrived.
Last night, I purposely skipped dinner at Islands because I think it's a rip off. The price I pay for an Islands burger alone (fries NOT included) is the same price of a burger at Red Robin that includes bottomless fries!
I had just missed Gavin and Roxy because they had to wake up early the next morning. Wussies! The remaining guests: Erica, Arthur, Myra (I guess Arthur's new girl), Ron (Mark's coworker whom I met months ago at the hookah bar), Mary (Ron's girl), Patrick (whom I haven't seen since Ferry Corsten in Hollywood last October) and Julie (Patrick's friend).
I bought a Guinness. Then I accidentally started a trend. I bought a pitcher of Coors Light. Then Mark disappeared ...
ERICA: Where is Mark? He is not allowed to handle money tonight!
Then Mark came back with ANOTHER pitcher! And then Patrick bought ANOTHER pitcher to follow the trend. Yeah, we were buzzed.
I was wearing my shirt that says, "Got your tickets? To the gun show!" The bartenders asked me to flex my guns. I gave them my triceps.
The bartender who served me my pitcher, a blond chick (Yeah, I'd hit it), kept smiling at me until she finally talked to me.
BARTENDER: I wanted to ask you, was there anything wrong with the service?
RYAN: No, why do you ask that?
BARTENDER: Well, you didn't tip me.
RYAN: Yeah, I did. I put a couple dollars in there.
BARTENDER: Oh, it must've fallen out.
Yeah, right. She just needed an excuse to talk to me.
MARK: Hey Ryan, that girl Julie likes you. She says she's been flirting with you the whole night, but she says you've been giving her the cold shoulder. Erica's talking to her right now about guys.
RYAN: What? She hasn't said a damn thing to me the whole night!
Not unless her lip-syncing to Technotronic's Pump up the Jam at me counts. So then Patrick said he'd play wingman and this was his plan:
We went to Lucy's in another part of Burbank. But it was closed. But we met some strangers and went to their apartment afterward. Then Julie started talking to some black dude named Gilbert. Some black chick named Diandra started flirting with me. She said she's actually 1/8 Filipino. Patrick was feeling Diandra's tits. If anything, we'd have to double-team her because I'd have to share with Patrick so he doesn't feel left out. But then Diandra passed out because she was so drunk.
An actor there named Dave (that's a lot of Dave's I've met now) advised me that when I get paid for a gig, I can ask an agent, "Hey, I'm getting paid for some work. Do you wanna represent me?"
I took Patrick home and left Julie there for being a slut. Oh, don't worry, I put her in my database. And when I bust a #3 to her, I'll make sure it's violent just to stick it to her! I ate a bunch of dates at Patrick's place to sober up while he showed me where he's been around the world. I now have 3 new ideas for partying: Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada; Ibiza, Spain; and Kazantip, Ukraine.
And then Patrick found out that he accidentally took Julie's keys. So then the black dude had to drop her off to pick up her keys and then left again. I got home at 6:00AM. Almost fell asleep twice at the wheel. I tried to fire up the porn, but fell asleep.
I got a text from Eugene a little after 10:00AM today inviting me for tea at 2:00PM. But he left earlier than planned and I didn't feel like driving. I arrived at the Glendale Marketplace at 2:30PM to be 1 of Iam's back-up instrument players for a talent show, but there was no talent show to be found.
My mommy and I ate at Granville. The manager must be a dude because all the employees are cute chicks and the only male worker I've seen is gay (which, if the manager is a dude, just ensures his chances with all the chick workers). Our server was named Chelsea. I don't know if it was just my imagination, but I caught her looking at me a lot. I put her in my database.
Brian at the GNC gave me another Muscle & Fitness magazine with Stone Cold Steve Austin on the cover.
Highlight of the day: I walked by the Red Robin and saw Jazz. I might as well have cummed in my pants. I took in my mental masturbation to make up for the Julie debacle the night before/early morning.
I saw Iam at the gym and he said that there were only 3 performers at the talent show that it ended within a few minutes. He was actually at In-N-Out watching me from across the street when I finally arrived.
Saturday, September 26, 2009
"No dilly-dallying"/Happy Birthday, Mark
I was hanging out with Brian at the GNC when Artin, the head security guard, came in with a stack of Muscle & Fitness magazines, offering them to Brian at $2 each. 1 that caught my attention had Hugh Jackman as Wolverine on the cover.
Let's review: Kelly Clarkson, a.k.a. my future baby's mama, specifed that her celebrity crush was the "hairier, dirtier" Jackman - i.e. Wolverine - not the prettier Jackman.
This magazine was my chance to learn the secrets of how Jackman transformed his body to play Wolverine. Brian let me have it for free. I was supposed to go straight to Mark's Birthday party at Fantasia's Billiards in Burbank. BUT after reading the Wolverine regiment, I was too damn inspired not to go to the gym.
Tiwat went to the ER at Glendale Adventist Medical Center. I was supposed to pick him up, but then didn't have to. Then said he couldn't go to Mark's shindig because he was tired. Wuuuuuuuuss!
Oh, and Guro - that deadbeat of a FMA instructor who I haven't seen since last June - texted me saying that we'll start training again next week. Seriously? I was already preparing a legal speech of getting back my testing fee that he had me pay last June since we never even did my test.
That rave Nocturnal Wonderland is going on, but Mark's Birthday party is top priority. Richard tried to get rid of his ticket, so he could go to Mark's, but couldn't, so had to go to the rave.
I think "no dilly-dallying" is a funny expression, but that's what I kept telling myself, which resulted in no more than a minute rest in between sets. Iam said that he'll be in a talent show tomorrow around the Mann Theatre at the Glendale Marketplace and wants me to be 1 of his backup players. Now it's time to leave for the party.
Let's review: Kelly Clarkson, a.k.a. my future baby's mama, specifed that her celebrity crush was the "hairier, dirtier" Jackman - i.e. Wolverine - not the prettier Jackman.
This magazine was my chance to learn the secrets of how Jackman transformed his body to play Wolverine. Brian let me have it for free. I was supposed to go straight to Mark's Birthday party at Fantasia's Billiards in Burbank. BUT after reading the Wolverine regiment, I was too damn inspired not to go to the gym.
"There's no dilly-dallying between sets. There's no lolly-gag to Wolverine."
-Muscle & Fitness
Tiwat went to the ER at Glendale Adventist Medical Center. I was supposed to pick him up, but then didn't have to. Then said he couldn't go to Mark's shindig because he was tired. Wuuuuuuuuss!
Oh, and Guro - that deadbeat of a FMA instructor who I haven't seen since last June - texted me saying that we'll start training again next week. Seriously? I was already preparing a legal speech of getting back my testing fee that he had me pay last June since we never even did my test.
That rave Nocturnal Wonderland is going on, but Mark's Birthday party is top priority. Richard tried to get rid of his ticket, so he could go to Mark's, but couldn't, so had to go to the rave.
I think "no dilly-dallying" is a funny expression, but that's what I kept telling myself, which resulted in no more than a minute rest in between sets. Iam said that he'll be in a talent show tomorrow around the Mann Theatre at the Glendale Marketplace and wants me to be 1 of his backup players. Now it's time to leave for the party.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Somebody saaaaaaaave me
JESSE I: Andres, Kevin couldn't make it today 'cause he had to do something with his mom. But he wanted you to know he got his ticket already.
RYAN: (knowingly) Ticket for what?
JESSE II: [laughs]
JESSE I: Yes, it's exactly what you're thinking of.
RYAN: I bought my ticket yesterday. $63, baby!
EVERYONE: What? Where?
(they all got theirs for $70)
RYAN: Glendale Galleria. I'm ready to rock out with my cock out!
MONSTER MASSIVE, baby! Halloween night, October 31st!
Capoeira class today was Andres, Jesse I, Jesse II, Diana, Ian, Gabriel, Chris, and I. It started with a drill of armada (spinkick) and martelo (roundhouse), 20x (10x on each leg). Then armada and pisau (sidekick). Then I started gassing out already.
ANDRES: C'mon! You're my partner! You can't gas out!
RYAN: That green tea is not working!
I psyco-analyzed that apparently Diana has subconscious fantasies of guy-on-guy since all she could joke about was dudes trying to grab me at a rave. On a somewhat related note ...
ANDRES: Do you know what an orange peel is? That's when [in grappling] you dig in and rip a guy's ass-cheek because you're trying to get a position on him. You just don't do that to anyone! The next day, they can't even sit right, can't walk right ...
There's a girl in the park that Jesse II likes. He even went as far as to have Ian hold up the kick pad for him as he side-kicked it and sent Ian flying to make himself look good. The girl laughed. Heck, I'd do the same thing.
We found out that Chris is the type of guy you need to be extra sensitive to because he's special, as in I had to tell everyone to be politically correct whenever they said "retard." In the roda - the circle where we play/fight/dance - Chris was doing what I kept yelling out as "cheap shots," but we agreed to let him get away with it because he's still new. Everytime I played him, we ended up on the floor because I'd have to spontaneously turn "getting stuck" into dropping him, but he's so heavy that I went down too.
I also passaged, or took away someone's position, for the 1st time! But messily. The victim was Diana. But Andres said I didn't deserve it because I "didn't defend her kick." Gosh he's so technical.
And then it was finally time for the season 9 premiere of Smallville! Andres and Jesse I think Kristin Kreuk is hot. Ian is a fan and had to record it at Jesse I's house. So far, Clark Kent is emo and finally trying to figure out why he hasn't been able to fly for 9 seasons now. And Oliver Queen/Green Arrow is an alcoholic who's taken up MMA. Great start so far.
RYAN: (knowingly) Ticket for what?
JESSE II: [laughs]
JESSE I: Yes, it's exactly what you're thinking of.
RYAN: I bought my ticket yesterday. $63, baby!
EVERYONE: What? Where?
(they all got theirs for $70)
RYAN: Glendale Galleria. I'm ready to rock out with my cock out!
MONSTER MASSIVE, baby! Halloween night, October 31st!
Capoeira class today was Andres, Jesse I, Jesse II, Diana, Ian, Gabriel, Chris, and I. It started with a drill of armada (spinkick) and martelo (roundhouse), 20x (10x on each leg). Then armada and pisau (sidekick). Then I started gassing out already.
ANDRES: C'mon! You're my partner! You can't gas out!
RYAN: That green tea is not working!
I psyco-analyzed that apparently Diana has subconscious fantasies of guy-on-guy since all she could joke about was dudes trying to grab me at a rave. On a somewhat related note ...
ANDRES: Do you know what an orange peel is? That's when [in grappling] you dig in and rip a guy's ass-cheek because you're trying to get a position on him. You just don't do that to anyone! The next day, they can't even sit right, can't walk right ...
There's a girl in the park that Jesse II likes. He even went as far as to have Ian hold up the kick pad for him as he side-kicked it and sent Ian flying to make himself look good. The girl laughed. Heck, I'd do the same thing.
We found out that Chris is the type of guy you need to be extra sensitive to because he's special, as in I had to tell everyone to be politically correct whenever they said "retard." In the roda - the circle where we play/fight/dance - Chris was doing what I kept yelling out as "cheap shots," but we agreed to let him get away with it because he's still new. Everytime I played him, we ended up on the floor because I'd have to spontaneously turn "getting stuck" into dropping him, but he's so heavy that I went down too.
I also passaged, or took away someone's position, for the 1st time! But messily. The victim was Diana. But Andres said I didn't deserve it because I "didn't defend her kick." Gosh he's so technical.
And then it was finally time for the season 9 premiere of Smallville! Andres and Jesse I think Kristin Kreuk is hot. Ian is a fan and had to record it at Jesse I's house. So far, Clark Kent is emo and finally trying to figure out why he hasn't been able to fly for 9 seasons now. And Oliver Queen/Green Arrow is an alcoholic who's taken up MMA. Great start so far.
Thursday, September 24, 2009
"You deserve respect and you will get it"
Today, I walked on a treadmill for literally an hour, which I never do, and according to its screen, I burned 473.5 calories in a distance of 4.7 miles.
My mommy brought home Chinese food from Panda Inn for dinner. My fortune cookie says:
Yesterday, cousin Philip said that Auntie Zelda had to be rushed to the hospital due to internal bleeding. We called them about an hour ago and everything's fine now.
My mommy brought home Chinese food from Panda Inn for dinner. My fortune cookie says:
You deserve respect and you will get it.
Yesterday, cousin Philip said that Auntie Zelda had to be rushed to the hospital due to internal bleeding. We called them about an hour ago and everything's fine now.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Where the fuck is my skateboard?
Nothing went as planned today.
The original plan:
On the bright side: Auntie Bella gave me 2 sacks of peanuts, 2 cans of Starbucks, and 1 bottle of Arizona green tea.
The original plan:
- Go to Auntie Bella's office for flu shot at 3:00PM.
- Eat at Subway and finish by 4:00PM.
- Skateboard around CSUN while food digest.
- Go to Capoeira class at 5:00PM.
- Buy Monster Massive ticket afterward.
- Get home by 9:00PM to watch Glee.
- Watch Ultimate Fighter at 10:00PM.
- Go to gym.
- Unexpectedly started looking for skateboard at 2:00PM.
- Gave up looking for skateboard after 3:00PM and left.
- Arrived at the office by 3:40PM (apparently, they require people to lie down now when receiving shots because people have fainted).
- Got to Subway at 4:30PM.
- Finished eating by 4:50PM.
- Didn't feel like going to Capoeira late, so I bullshited around CSUN.
- Felt like saying "hi" to everyone at the end of Capoeira class at 7:00PM.
- But got to my car by 6:40PM since I was on foot and had no skateboard.
- Fucking mapquest fucking sent me to fucking Santa Clarita instead.
- Focused on finding my way home.
- Bought Monster Massive ticket.
- Got home at 9:40PM to catch the last 20 minutes of Glee.
- Watched Ultimate Fighter at 10:00PM.
- But no longer felt like going to the gym.
On the bright side: Auntie Bella gave me 2 sacks of peanuts, 2 cans of Starbucks, and 1 bottle of Arizona green tea.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Stretch marks
I was so damn sore that Dave offered to give me a massage last night, in a heterosexual way. Not gay shit. It helped.
I'm still working on that classical piece at guitar practice. It's a piece originally for the cello, but translated for the guitar. Even though the sound is so ancient for anyone's taste, the fingering technique is so intricate-looking that I can imagine playing it and any chick would take her clothes off.
Figured since I'd have Capoeira practice tomorrow, I'd bust a #3 to Jazz and come tomorrow (hey, that could be a pun) I'd have replenished testosterone.
I went to the gym at night. I noticed something about Iam for the 1st time.
RYAN: Did you have surgery on your pecs?
IAM: No. Those are stretch marks. At 1 point, my muscles grew too fast during training.
Some armenian dude in the locker room (a nice guy and not too hairy like they typically are) had stretch marks across his back as if a tiger ripped him horizontally.
Oh yeah, Iam has a bad sunburn. I've seen sunburn before. But this actually looks abnormal. He looked like he painted himself "brick red."
I'm still working on that classical piece at guitar practice. It's a piece originally for the cello, but translated for the guitar. Even though the sound is so ancient for anyone's taste, the fingering technique is so intricate-looking that I can imagine playing it and any chick would take her clothes off.
Figured since I'd have Capoeira practice tomorrow, I'd bust a #3 to Jazz and come tomorrow (hey, that could be a pun) I'd have replenished testosterone.
I went to the gym at night. I noticed something about Iam for the 1st time.
RYAN: Did you have surgery on your pecs?
IAM: No. Those are stretch marks. At 1 point, my muscles grew too fast during training.
Some armenian dude in the locker room (a nice guy and not too hairy like they typically are) had stretch marks across his back as if a tiger ripped him horizontally.
Oh yeah, Iam has a bad sunburn. I've seen sunburn before. But this actually looks abnormal. He looked like he painted himself "brick red."
Monday, September 21, 2009
Back in black
Today was the day that I decided to come back to Capoeira. I had a good 3 weeks off. And they were grappling today.
I strutted in with my shades, black gi pants, and white shirt, but would later change into a black shirt to go to the ground.
LOUIS: Ryan's rockin' the shades!
RYAN: I'm fuckin' back!
We have a new student named Gabriel. Others present were Andres, Jesse I, Jesse II, Ian, Caesar, and Diana. Julio showed up briefly, then left. Weird.
We learned:
1) the dars choke
2) the peruvian choke
3) getting the attacker from their full mount into our half-guard (push their knees down as far as possible with our elbows, swivel our hips to check their leg with our leg - i.e. our right over their left - triangle it, and push their triangled knee over into our half-gaurd).
4) a leg lock from full mount (our leg sweeps outside and under their leg - i.e. our right over their left - hook, and sit out to extend our leg; if they counter by turning into you, fold your leg, which brings theirs in, and pull their foot with both hands to crank).
Then we paired up and rolled, except for Jesse II who was injured:
1) Me vs. Caesar. I hate wrestlers. He didn't even lock in the triangle on my arm, but I said, "Tap," just so we'd reset because I was lazy. Although that was technically my 1st time "tapping out."
2) Me vs. Jesse I. Stalemate. We spent most of the time in the "feeling out process."
3) Me vs. Andres. I got him to verbally tap out weeks ago when he gassed out. He was recovering from his motorcycle accident, though. He just HAD to avenge that. So maybe he choked me out. At least I was able to pass his guard so well that he was impressed.
ANDRES: They say to be a blackbelt in Brazilian Jujitsu, you have to get tapped out 20,000 times.
Great. Only 19,998 more times for me.
I strutted in with my shades, black gi pants, and white shirt, but would later change into a black shirt to go to the ground.
LOUIS: Ryan's rockin' the shades!
RYAN: I'm fuckin' back!
We have a new student named Gabriel. Others present were Andres, Jesse I, Jesse II, Ian, Caesar, and Diana. Julio showed up briefly, then left. Weird.
We learned:
1) the dars choke
2) the peruvian choke
3) getting the attacker from their full mount into our half-guard (push their knees down as far as possible with our elbows, swivel our hips to check their leg with our leg - i.e. our right over their left - triangle it, and push their triangled knee over into our half-gaurd).
4) a leg lock from full mount (our leg sweeps outside and under their leg - i.e. our right over their left - hook, and sit out to extend our leg; if they counter by turning into you, fold your leg, which brings theirs in, and pull their foot with both hands to crank).
Then we paired up and rolled, except for Jesse II who was injured:
1) Me vs. Caesar. I hate wrestlers. He didn't even lock in the triangle on my arm, but I said, "Tap," just so we'd reset because I was lazy. Although that was technically my 1st time "tapping out."
2) Me vs. Jesse I. Stalemate. We spent most of the time in the "feeling out process."
3) Me vs. Andres. I got him to verbally tap out weeks ago when he gassed out. He was recovering from his motorcycle accident, though. He just HAD to avenge that. So maybe he choked me out. At least I was able to pass his guard so well that he was impressed.
ANDRES: They say to be a blackbelt in Brazilian Jujitsu, you have to get tapped out 20,000 times.
Great. Only 19,998 more times for me.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Nicholas Cage's mom
Woke up at 12:45PM. Missed Church again. But was able to convince my mommy that I went.
I went to my mommy's friend's Birthday party. He's a doctor. He has a daughter who's the caregiver to Nicholas Cage's mommy. So Nicholas Cage's mommy was at the party. All the old dudes were drunk from some Floyd Mayweather/Juan Marquez fight the night before. I got to drink a beer in front of my mommy.
We went to the Sports Chalet in Burbank since the 1 in La Canada referred me to that 1 for Vibram Five-Fingers. They didn't have it. But some dude who works at the Hot Topic in the Burbank mall admitted that I resemble Jacob Black from Twilight.
I walked by the Red Robin in the Glendale Galleria. I saw fellow gym regular Dennis. But most importantly, for the 1st time in weeks since I've been too busy to do reconnaissance, I saw Jazz! Overheard her voice as she greeted customers. So now I got renewed audio in my database. Might as well have nutted right there in my pants.
I went to my mommy's friend's Birthday party. He's a doctor. He has a daughter who's the caregiver to Nicholas Cage's mommy. So Nicholas Cage's mommy was at the party. All the old dudes were drunk from some Floyd Mayweather/Juan Marquez fight the night before. I got to drink a beer in front of my mommy.
We went to the Sports Chalet in Burbank since the 1 in La Canada referred me to that 1 for Vibram Five-Fingers. They didn't have it. But some dude who works at the Hot Topic in the Burbank mall admitted that I resemble Jacob Black from Twilight.
I walked by the Red Robin in the Glendale Galleria. I saw fellow gym regular Dennis. But most importantly, for the 1st time in weeks since I've been too busy to do reconnaissance, I saw Jazz! Overheard her voice as she greeted customers. So now I got renewed audio in my database. Might as well have nutted right there in my pants.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
Kourtney
Michael and I were supposed to buy tickets to Monster Massive today, but he had to cancel ... again.
I miss the nights of going to Carlos and Michelle's place for UFC PPVs. Brian at the GNC was going to order tonight's fights, but miscalculated his budget. I watched the videos online. God that card was depressing. I'm especially heart broken over how weak Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic has become.
I was trying to look for old friends on Facebook when I accidentally stumbled onto an old CSUN Film classmate named Kourtney. I 1st met her, though, during my 1st semester ('02) when she crashed my Math class and tried speaking in a fake British accent. I fired up the porn. Put on a Giana Michaels video. Busted a #3 to Kourtney. Gosh, what is there to do on a Saturday night these days?
I miss the nights of going to Carlos and Michelle's place for UFC PPVs. Brian at the GNC was going to order tonight's fights, but miscalculated his budget. I watched the videos online. God that card was depressing. I'm especially heart broken over how weak Mirko "Cro Cop" Filipovic has become.
I was trying to look for old friends on Facebook when I accidentally stumbled onto an old CSUN Film classmate named Kourtney. I 1st met her, though, during my 1st semester ('02) when she crashed my Math class and tried speaking in a fake British accent. I fired up the porn. Put on a Giana Michaels video. Busted a #3 to Kourtney. Gosh, what is there to do on a Saturday night these days?
Friday, September 18, 2009
2 times in 1 day
Went to the gym early today. Went home. Did jack shit. Stayed home to watch all of WWE Smackdown. Richard texted me 'cause he was looking for something to do:
RYAN: I suggest going to the gym to get yolked, which will hopefully lead to attracting more chicks to bang.
RICHARD: LMAO! I'm too drunk to lift anything other than my own ego.
RYAN: Well, if you can still at least lift your own penis, you should be able to bang someone. Ha.
RICHARD: That's been my logic all along!
Went to the gym again. Whoa, 2 times in 1 day! Haven't done 1 of those in a long time. Remembered to tell Iam to give competitive body building a try.
RYAN: I suggest going to the gym to get yolked, which will hopefully lead to attracting more chicks to bang.
RICHARD: LMAO! I'm too drunk to lift anything other than my own ego.
RYAN: Well, if you can still at least lift your own penis, you should be able to bang someone. Ha.
RICHARD: That's been my logic all along!
Went to the gym again. Whoa, 2 times in 1 day! Haven't done 1 of those in a long time. Remembered to tell Iam to give competitive body building a try.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I've had my gun pointed at your balls since you sat down
I paid to see Quentin Tarantino's Inglourious Basterds at 2:50PM and then snuck into Gamer afterward at 6:00PM. Jigga what! I normally do at least 3-4 movies a day, but none of the schedules of the other good movies would align with the above.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Mmm ... Bleu Ribbon Burger
I did jack shit today. Surprisingly my mommy offered to go to Red Robbin for dinner. I think she's hooked on their salmon burger. I got my usual Blue Ribbon Burger (my other usual being the Chili Chili Cheese Burger). Brandon was our server. I remembered that he told me to suggest body building competitions to Iam. Went to the gym. Saw Iam. Walked into a conversation with him and Danny (who works at 24 Hour Fitness and at Cheesecake Factory). Danny was talking about how he thinks Kim Kardashian is hot.
RYAN: I don't find her attractive.
DANNY: [in stereotypical black accent] WHAAAT? Get out of here."
RYAN: I don't find her attractive.
DANNY: [in stereotypical black accent] WHAAAT? Get out of here."
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Already Gone
I didn't know I was going to the free Kelly Clarkson concert yesterday, sponsored by Samsung, until past noon. There happened to be tickets left and I didn't mind printing it out at Kinko's. But it said "admits 2." Didn't know that. Couldn't find anyone to go with me last second, but fuck it.
There was a Canadian dude there named Dave. He's given "[his] life to God," as he puts it and lives in a wherever-the-wind-takes-me sort of way. It's actually been going great for him.
I got a new classical song in guitar practice today to rock out to. My mommy and I went to dinner at Goldylock's for some Crispy Pata.
There was a Canadian dude there named Dave. He's given "[his] life to God," as he puts it and lives in a wherever-the-wind-takes-me sort of way. It's actually been going great for him.
I got a new classical song in guitar practice today to rock out to. My mommy and I went to dinner at Goldylock's for some Crispy Pata.
Monday, September 14, 2009
KELLY "My Future Baby's Mama" CLARKSON
Preparing the stage for:
Moral of the story: I need a more updated camera. I took dozens of pics, but only the above are the least blurry. Plus, I've noticed that modern cameras are able to record videos of her whole performance whereas mine only records a few seconds of video.
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Don't feed the troll
I stayed up 'til 5:00AM watching Russian porn. I woke up at 11:00AM all energized, but it didn't feel right getting up after only 6 hours of sleep. But then I accidentally missed church as I woke up again at 1:00PM. Whoops.
MY MOMMY: You're not going to church? You're a pagan!
I dropped off my application at another Halloween store and hung out with Brian at the GNC. His friends, Chad (not to be confused with cholo/fellow PWG fan Chad) and Sergio stopped by. Sergio is actually the Hatter (see entry 9/9/09). He's actually pissed about the note I wrote to him that read:
But he never found out it was from me. Brian and I were laughing the whole time. Inside joke.
GNC owner, Kevin, nearly fucked himself over when someone from the corporate GNC office stopped by to check on what he was doing wrong and Kevin started arguing with him until corporate guy threatened to shut down his store.
I saw Christian, better known as DJ Kracie, outside. He was 1 of my best friends in high school. He was job hunting as well. He doesn't DJ at clubs anymore, saying he was dealing with shady people. I got to brag about how I'm a film producer/stuntman/soon-to-be FMA instructor/stock trader/future law student AND that I'll be trying out again at the December Ninja Warrior auditions.
RYAN: You know who's a regular customer at the GNC where my boys work? Kit.
Long silence. DJ Kracie overcomes this disgusted look.
DJ KRACIE: Thanks for telling me. I was about to ask if GNC was hiring, but nevermind.
Remember how I said I would've been thrusting Kit violently 24/7 if she wasn't my friend's ex, but I busted a #3 to her a lot anyway since my friend probably wouldn't care since she cheated on him? Yup, DJ Kracie is that friend. Bros before hoes.
DJ Kracie introduced me to his new girlfriend, Donna.
A lot of people are pissed about how Taylor Swift was wronged while trying to make her Thank You speech at the MTV Video Music Awards. But I always say, "Don't feed the troll." That's why I won't even mention the cunt's name who ruined her moment. But thank God for Beyonce making it right at the end.
My personal favorite moment, though, is the tribute to Michael Jackson:
MY MOMMY: You're not going to church? You're a pagan!
I dropped off my application at another Halloween store and hung out with Brian at the GNC. His friends, Chad (not to be confused with cholo/fellow PWG fan Chad) and Sergio stopped by. Sergio is actually the Hatter (see entry 9/9/09). He's actually pissed about the note I wrote to him that read:
Grow some balls and put your bitch in her place.
But he never found out it was from me. Brian and I were laughing the whole time. Inside joke.
GNC owner, Kevin, nearly fucked himself over when someone from the corporate GNC office stopped by to check on what he was doing wrong and Kevin started arguing with him until corporate guy threatened to shut down his store.
I saw Christian, better known as DJ Kracie, outside. He was 1 of my best friends in high school. He was job hunting as well. He doesn't DJ at clubs anymore, saying he was dealing with shady people. I got to brag about how I'm a film producer/stuntman/soon-to-be FMA instructor/stock trader/future law student AND that I'll be trying out again at the December Ninja Warrior auditions.
RYAN: You know who's a regular customer at the GNC where my boys work? Kit.
Long silence. DJ Kracie overcomes this disgusted look.
DJ KRACIE: Thanks for telling me. I was about to ask if GNC was hiring, but nevermind.
Remember how I said I would've been thrusting Kit violently 24/7 if she wasn't my friend's ex, but I busted a #3 to her a lot anyway since my friend probably wouldn't care since she cheated on him? Yup, DJ Kracie is that friend. Bros before hoes.
DJ Kracie introduced me to his new girlfriend, Donna.
A lot of people are pissed about how Taylor Swift was wronged while trying to make her Thank You speech at the MTV Video Music Awards. But I always say, "Don't feed the troll." That's why I won't even mention the cunt's name who ruined her moment. But thank God for Beyonce making it right at the end.
My personal favorite moment, though, is the tribute to Michael Jackson:
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Take a bow
Urgh ... will armo-supremacy in Glendale ever stop? Yeah, that's probably a rhetorical question.
The bad news is Blockbuster in Glendale is gone. The good news is it's now a new Halloween store. The bad news is it's fully staffed by armos in which my conversation with them went like this:
RYAN: May I pick up a job application?
armo bitch: I don't think we're hiring. Let me check. [disappears, comes back] We're not hiring.
RYAN: Well, maybe not right now. But when October comes around, you'll need more workers. May I just leave an application so you can contact me when you get busier?
armo bitch: We already have people hired for October.
RYAN: So where are these people now?
armo bitch: They're coming in October.
RYAN: So they're not working yet for another month, but they're considered "hired?" Riiight.
armo bitch: We're sorry.
Let me guess, everyone who's "hired" is armo too? I chilled with Brian at the GNC.
BRIAN: Please tell me you called that armo a "bitch" to her face.
RYAN: Well ... yeah ... you know I don't tolerate racism.
Brian high-fived me.
So the religious group - or "cult," as they're referred to by the security guards - has been preaching at the Glendale Marketplace. And the security guard, Artin, has been running them out by booming trance music at them to drown them out. This has been going on every week now. It's amusing to watch.
Pro-wrestler Human Tornado IMed me for the 1st time on Facebook today. I guess I'm part of the in-crowd now. Coincidentally, we were both bored.
I had a Subway sandwich for dinner. Yeah, I've been trying to burn my beer gut away, but without quitting beer.
I was defecating in the Barnes & Noble restroom. All stalls were taken. Some armo who really had to defecate actually started throwing a tantrum! Then he started banging on the doors of the stall. Wow. So I just took my sweet time defecating, enjoying the sounds of him suffer. Ha.
The bad news is Blockbuster in Glendale is gone. The good news is it's now a new Halloween store. The bad news is it's fully staffed by armos in which my conversation with them went like this:
RYAN: May I pick up a job application?
armo bitch: I don't think we're hiring. Let me check. [disappears, comes back] We're not hiring.
RYAN: Well, maybe not right now. But when October comes around, you'll need more workers. May I just leave an application so you can contact me when you get busier?
armo bitch: We already have people hired for October.
RYAN: So where are these people now?
armo bitch: They're coming in October.
RYAN: So they're not working yet for another month, but they're considered "hired?" Riiight.
armo bitch: We're sorry.
Let me guess, everyone who's "hired" is armo too? I chilled with Brian at the GNC.
BRIAN: Please tell me you called that armo a "bitch" to her face.
RYAN: Well ... yeah ... you know I don't tolerate racism.
Brian high-fived me.
So the religious group - or "cult," as they're referred to by the security guards - has been preaching at the Glendale Marketplace. And the security guard, Artin, has been running them out by booming trance music at them to drown them out. This has been going on every week now. It's amusing to watch.
Pro-wrestler Human Tornado IMed me for the 1st time on Facebook today. I guess I'm part of the in-crowd now. Coincidentally, we were both bored.
I had a Subway sandwich for dinner. Yeah, I've been trying to burn my beer gut away, but without quitting beer.
I was defecating in the Barnes & Noble restroom. All stalls were taken. Some armo who really had to defecate actually started throwing a tantrum! Then he started banging on the doors of the stall. Wow. So I just took my sweet time defecating, enjoying the sounds of him suffer. Ha.
Friday, September 11, 2009
9/11
I got to have tea time with Eugene and Stef today at the Tea Rose Garden in Old Town, Pasadena. I had the Tea Rose Afternoon Tea with my choice of 3 sandwiches (Cranberry Chicken, Egg and Watercress, Spicy Salmon Tempter), my choice of scone (Chocolate Chip), my choice of tea (Irish Breakfast), spring petal salad, tea time bites, rose sugar cookie, fresh fruits, and Devonshire cream.
AND I'm still Gangsta! We poked fun at Carlomar - an assistant instructor under my Filipino Martial Arts instructor, Guro - 'cause he absolutely refuses to step foot in a tea house to preserve his hood status.
Then in the afternoon there was a SONIC BOOM! Like, Guile-from-Street Fighter status.
We killed a couple hours watching Justice League of America before collaborating on the pre-production of our own story. Tiwat then texted me about the update on his broken hand, which read:
Lately, I've just been working on Kelly Clarkson's Already Gone on my guitar. And I've been arranging Rascal Flatts' What Hurts the Most as a classical song on my guitar. And I'm writing down the notes - NOT tabs, but musical notation - on music sheet. Goddammit, I feel like a fuckin' musician (even though I'm a film producer)!
Well, 8 years ago from today, my mommy was driving my classmate/neighbor Jordan and I to school when we heard about the World Trade Center on the radio. Happy 9/11.
AND I'm still Gangsta! We poked fun at Carlomar - an assistant instructor under my Filipino Martial Arts instructor, Guro - 'cause he absolutely refuses to step foot in a tea house to preserve his hood status.
Then in the afternoon there was a SONIC BOOM! Like, Guile-from-Street Fighter status.
We killed a couple hours watching Justice League of America before collaborating on the pre-production of our own story. Tiwat then texted me about the update on his broken hand, which read:
Wonderful now I really got a cast put on me so now I really can't masterbate
Lately, I've just been working on Kelly Clarkson's Already Gone on my guitar. And I've been arranging Rascal Flatts' What Hurts the Most as a classical song on my guitar. And I'm writing down the notes - NOT tabs, but musical notation - on music sheet. Goddammit, I feel like a fuckin' musician (even though I'm a film producer)!
Well, 8 years ago from today, my mommy was driving my classmate/neighbor Jordan and I to school when we heard about the World Trade Center on the radio. Happy 9/11.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Even my roommates from South Central called me "nigga"
I just remembered, I had a dream a few nights ago. In my dream, I was back in my CSUN dorm during my sophomore year. There were a bunch of naked chicks and even that jackoffable chick from the PWG show who wears the flower in her ear. I'm sure I know what it's based on.
In real life, my black roommates from South Central had sex with some white chick named Alison, 1 by 1, on the same night. They told me to take a turn and Alison was cool with it. But I was too intimidated to have sex in front of a bunch of naked black dudes watching. So I passed. Sure, there are times when I look back at that and my conscience yells at me, "You idiot!" But oh well. I was still able to bust a #3 to that Alison chick.
I'm still sore from my new workout 2 days ago, but went to the gym anyway after just cereal, a banana and MET-Rx Amped RTD. My metabolism burned it all by the time I got there. Had to pace myself 'cause I thought I was gonna pass out. Had to drink my Ensure for extra calories before completing 150-something pushups.
DISCLAIMER: I'm exempt from being labeled a racist when saying "nigger" 'cause I'm a nigga myself. Don't believe me? Then ask the crackers who called me a "nigger" once upon a time.
So I was at the Americana when I nearly got ran over by ... some nigger bitch! Seriously? The reason why this is noteworthy is 'cause normally the armos are the cause of all car accidents in Glendale. So this was unexpected.
But then when I was driving home and proceeding with my right of way, I nearly got hit by an armo who sped past his sign that clearly read: Yield to oncoming traffic. Go figure.
In real life, my black roommates from South Central had sex with some white chick named Alison, 1 by 1, on the same night. They told me to take a turn and Alison was cool with it. But I was too intimidated to have sex in front of a bunch of naked black dudes watching. So I passed. Sure, there are times when I look back at that and my conscience yells at me, "You idiot!" But oh well. I was still able to bust a #3 to that Alison chick.
I'm still sore from my new workout 2 days ago, but went to the gym anyway after just cereal, a banana and MET-Rx Amped RTD. My metabolism burned it all by the time I got there. Had to pace myself 'cause I thought I was gonna pass out. Had to drink my Ensure for extra calories before completing 150-something pushups.
DISCLAIMER: I'm exempt from being labeled a racist when saying "nigger" 'cause I'm a nigga myself. Don't believe me? Then ask the crackers who called me a "nigger" once upon a time.
So I was at the Americana when I nearly got ran over by ... some nigger bitch! Seriously? The reason why this is noteworthy is 'cause normally the armos are the cause of all car accidents in Glendale. So this was unexpected.
But then when I was driving home and proceeding with my right of way, I nearly got hit by an armo who sped past his sign that clearly read: Yield to oncoming traffic. Go figure.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
... put your bitch in her place (9/9/09).
Well this is something that could happen in a comedy, but it's in my real life:
A while ago, I mentioned that Kit gave my boy, Brian at the GNC, her business card for hockey tickets.
Let's review: Kit is someone from my high school years. If she wasn't my homie's ex, I'd be doing the old "in-out" with her, Clockwork Orange status, but in a good way. So I'd just been busting a #3 to her. And I normally don't jack off to my friends' exes either, but she cheated on him so I don't thing the homies would care. Anyway ...
Brian doesn't have his own computer, so he gave Kit's business card to his friend (whose name escapes me at the moment, so I'll temporarily call him the Hatter). The Hatter was to get the hockey tickets through his internet. But Hatter left the business card in the pocket of his pants where his girlfriend found it.
Somehow, his girlfriend assumed, because of the business card, that Hatter was cheating! So the crazy bitch began stalking Kit on the internet and went nuclear on the Hatter with accusations!
1) What kind of bitch assumes that a business card means cheating? 2) What kind of bitch "shoots first and asks questions later?"
If a bitch tried that on me, her ass would be dumped so fast! Thank God, Brian cleared up the whole thing with Hatter's bitch. But I told Brian to pass on a message to Hatter for me. Brian had me write it down:
In other news, I told Andres that I might need 1 more week to heal up completely. Andres told me to take as much time as I need.
A while ago, I mentioned that Kit gave my boy, Brian at the GNC, her business card for hockey tickets.
Let's review: Kit is someone from my high school years. If she wasn't my homie's ex, I'd be doing the old "in-out" with her, Clockwork Orange status, but in a good way. So I'd just been busting a #3 to her. And I normally don't jack off to my friends' exes either, but she cheated on him so I don't thing the homies would care. Anyway ...
Brian doesn't have his own computer, so he gave Kit's business card to his friend (whose name escapes me at the moment, so I'll temporarily call him the Hatter). The Hatter was to get the hockey tickets through his internet. But Hatter left the business card in the pocket of his pants where his girlfriend found it.
Somehow, his girlfriend assumed, because of the business card, that Hatter was cheating! So the crazy bitch began stalking Kit on the internet and went nuclear on the Hatter with accusations!
1) What kind of bitch assumes that a business card means cheating? 2) What kind of bitch "shoots first and asks questions later?"
If a bitch tried that on me, her ass would be dumped so fast! Thank God, Brian cleared up the whole thing with Hatter's bitch. But I told Brian to pass on a message to Hatter for me. Brian had me write it down:
Grow some balls and put your bitch in her place.
In other news, I told Andres that I might need 1 more week to heal up completely. Andres told me to take as much time as I need.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Labor Day
I saw Hiro for the 1st time since August of 2007. He's moved back to Japan, moved to Canada, moved back to Japan, and now back in California on student visa. My mommy and I treated him to dinner at the Cheesecake Factory. He brought us presents. I got a bandana with Japanese writing on it. My mommy got something girly - I wasn't paying attention to what it was. But it was from Hiro's mom. I was too busy envisioning myself looking like the Karate Kid with the new bandana.
Hiro says I put on a lot of muscle since we last saw each other. We hung out at my house until 1:00AM, watching Parkour, Capoeria and FMA videos on youtube.
He'd been going by the alias Jim. But then some stripper recognized him from somewhere when she told him to reveal his real name. But he can't remember from where. So now he's gotta do some investigative work. Yay tits and ass.
Anyway, our plan is to save money to do a 5-minute short film. Yes, film. Not video. Film is required to qualify for prestigious film festivals. Hopefully, it will attract investors who will invest in it to allow us to complete it into a feature.
Today I rocked out at guitar practice with the Beatles' Yesterday. I guess I'll be playing that for recital, which we have no idea when it'll take place except that maybe at the end of the year.
Did something different at the gym. No weights. Just maxing out on pull-ups, squats, and pushups and then cardio. And tomorrow's already Hump Day.
Hiro says I put on a lot of muscle since we last saw each other. We hung out at my house until 1:00AM, watching Parkour, Capoeria and FMA videos on youtube.
He'd been going by the alias Jim. But then some stripper recognized him from somewhere when she told him to reveal his real name. But he can't remember from where. So now he's gotta do some investigative work. Yay tits and ass.
Anyway, our plan is to save money to do a 5-minute short film. Yes, film. Not video. Film is required to qualify for prestigious film festivals. Hopefully, it will attract investors who will invest in it to allow us to complete it into a feature.
Today I rocked out at guitar practice with the Beatles' Yesterday. I guess I'll be playing that for recital, which we have no idea when it'll take place except that maybe at the end of the year.
Did something different at the gym. No weights. Just maxing out on pull-ups, squats, and pushups and then cardio. And tomorrow's already Hump Day.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Heather's sister
Last night, my old friends Heather and Chris threw a small party at their place in Anaheim for the sake of missing everyone. Once upon a time, they threw Fight Night parties for UFC PPVs.
Only Mark and his girlfriend, Erica, were there along with old friends Tim, Jared, Jason (Chris' brother), Mare (John's ex-girlfriend), Johnny Goa (it's a stage name, so I gotta say the whole thing), and Johnny's new girlfriend.
Heather reinforced her place in my list of favorite people when she told me, "I would drive down to Mexico to bail you out of jail." I must remember her number now for future reference.
That's Tim and Heather drunk on the floor.
So then I took a pic with them.
In a drunken stupor, I tried to bond with Heather in the following conversation:
RYAN: So as long as we're being honest with each other, just between you and me, and I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us, I used to - used to - have a schoolboy crush ... on your older sister.
HEATHER: [complete silence ...] WHY?
Apparently, she missed the part about keeping that secret just between us as she vented to everyone.
HEATHER: So Ryan, who's a semi-pedophile, thinks I'm old ... yet he likes my older sister! What the fuck!
First of all, I am NOT a semi-pedophile. All those younger chicks I went out with are 18 by now anyway, so what does it matter? BTW, Heather's 32 and her older sister, Naomi, is about 37.
RYAN: Oh, and there was this 1 party where Naomi came up to me and was like, "So Heather tells me you're a bboy."
HEATHER: Yeah, my sister likes bboys. Actually, we both do.
RYAN: So, yeah, I'm gonna get back into bboying now.
HEATHER: [irritated stare]
Jared, who was always a Purple Belt in Brazilian Jujitsu ever since I met him, now teaches at the Gracie Barra Academy where he trains at. In the past, every time he tried to teach me something (and the 1st time was at Spring Break '06 in Miami), we were always wasted. This time, it was different ... only I was wasted while he was trying to catch up. Yet, I comprehended what he showed me as I was more familiar with BJJ as my Capoeira teacher, Andres, has been sharing it with us.
Seriously, Jared's transitions and execution are so smooth. Apparently, the choke that I submitted Angel with weeks ago is called the Ezekiel. Jared taught me the Home Alone defense, named after Macauley Culkin's iconic pose in the film of the same name. And he taught me his secret choke. I can't wait to rock all my Capoeria classmates.
Drunk-texted some people. Allison from Palmdale texted me back! That gave me a boner.
Apparently, last time I was conscious at the party, Mark and Erica broke up. We basically tried to put them together.
RYAN: You shouldn't be making these types of decisions while drunk.
MARK: No, I'm drunk, but I can seriously still think straight.
(Sarcastically) Riiiiiiiight.
Don't know how it ended 'cause I was sitting on the couch ... and the next thing I know, I'm passed out with a blanket over me as I wake up to my mommy calling me at 4:25AM. I think I developed the habit of passing out at friend's houses with Carlos and Michelle's place. God, I miss them.
Anyway, I ignored my mommy's call and listened to the voicemail. Cousin Joann just had her baby. His name is Tristan-Lucas. I'm an Uncle again! (In Western culture, my cousin's child would be considered my 2nd cousin. But we Filipinos don't play that Western shit 'cause it gets confusing. My cousin's son is considered my nephew.)
I went back to sleep and woke up at 6:30AM.
RYAN: Apparently, we passed out.
TIM: Whatever.
I took a Newcastle, Corona and Hefeweizen beer along with some Laughing Cow and Babybel cheese and was on the road by 6:34AM. Don't know what ever became of Mark and Erica. Made it home in 43 minutes. Thought to myself, Dammit, didn't get to go home and access the database like I wanted.
Woke up before noon. My mommy, who's always off on Sundays, is working today so she can be off tomorrow on Labor Day. Met up with Tiwat at the Glendale Galleria. Grabbed some Subway sandwiches.
Introduced Tiwat to Brian at the GNC. They bonded over xanax. Mario, who's buff and a regular customer, has been missing for 3 weeks. Mario usually makes trips to Tijuana for business. He was last heard from before making another run to Tijuana. I don't like the sound of this.
Normally, I'd be listening to Iam sing at the Glendale Marketplace. But no. The security guard, some armenian named Artin, fucked it up. Artin got in an argument with some religious preachers who are normally at the Marketplace. So he ordered Iam to sing at their spot to make sure they don't come back. The problem is nobody passes by that empty spot. Iam normally made $50 in tips. But at that empty spot, he only made $1 after an hour. The restaurant managers even said they needed Iam to sing in front of their restaurants 'cause he drew more customers. But did that armo listen? Nooo. All this just to kick out the preachers. So Iam no-showed his last gig, claiming he was sick, yet blatantly saying he was in Pasadena. That armo got the hint that he quit.
Well, I got the house to myself on this fine Sunday night, which somehow doesn't feel like Sunday. And I got my gym time in. Database time.
Only Mark and his girlfriend, Erica, were there along with old friends Tim, Jared, Jason (Chris' brother), Mare (John's ex-girlfriend), Johnny Goa (it's a stage name, so I gotta say the whole thing), and Johnny's new girlfriend.
Heather reinforced her place in my list of favorite people when she told me, "I would drive down to Mexico to bail you out of jail." I must remember her number now for future reference.
That's Tim and Heather drunk on the floor.
So then I took a pic with them.
In a drunken stupor, I tried to bond with Heather in the following conversation:
RYAN: So as long as we're being honest with each other, just between you and me, and I hope this doesn't make things awkward between us, I used to - used to - have a schoolboy crush ... on your older sister.
HEATHER: [complete silence ...] WHY?
Apparently, she missed the part about keeping that secret just between us as she vented to everyone.
HEATHER: So Ryan, who's a semi-pedophile, thinks I'm old ... yet he likes my older sister! What the fuck!
First of all, I am NOT a semi-pedophile. All those younger chicks I went out with are 18 by now anyway, so what does it matter? BTW, Heather's 32 and her older sister, Naomi, is about 37.
RYAN: Oh, and there was this 1 party where Naomi came up to me and was like, "So Heather tells me you're a bboy."
HEATHER: Yeah, my sister likes bboys. Actually, we both do.
RYAN: So, yeah, I'm gonna get back into bboying now.
HEATHER: [irritated stare]
Jared, who was always a Purple Belt in Brazilian Jujitsu ever since I met him, now teaches at the Gracie Barra Academy where he trains at. In the past, every time he tried to teach me something (and the 1st time was at Spring Break '06 in Miami), we were always wasted. This time, it was different ... only I was wasted while he was trying to catch up. Yet, I comprehended what he showed me as I was more familiar with BJJ as my Capoeira teacher, Andres, has been sharing it with us.
Seriously, Jared's transitions and execution are so smooth. Apparently, the choke that I submitted Angel with weeks ago is called the Ezekiel. Jared taught me the Home Alone defense, named after Macauley Culkin's iconic pose in the film of the same name. And he taught me his secret choke. I can't wait to rock all my Capoeria classmates.
Drunk-texted some people. Allison from Palmdale texted me back! That gave me a boner.
Apparently, last time I was conscious at the party, Mark and Erica broke up. We basically tried to put them together.
RYAN: You shouldn't be making these types of decisions while drunk.
MARK: No, I'm drunk, but I can seriously still think straight.
(Sarcastically) Riiiiiiiight.
Don't know how it ended 'cause I was sitting on the couch ... and the next thing I know, I'm passed out with a blanket over me as I wake up to my mommy calling me at 4:25AM. I think I developed the habit of passing out at friend's houses with Carlos and Michelle's place. God, I miss them.
Anyway, I ignored my mommy's call and listened to the voicemail. Cousin Joann just had her baby. His name is Tristan-Lucas. I'm an Uncle again! (In Western culture, my cousin's child would be considered my 2nd cousin. But we Filipinos don't play that Western shit 'cause it gets confusing. My cousin's son is considered my nephew.)
I went back to sleep and woke up at 6:30AM.
RYAN: Apparently, we passed out.
TIM: Whatever.
I took a Newcastle, Corona and Hefeweizen beer along with some Laughing Cow and Babybel cheese and was on the road by 6:34AM. Don't know what ever became of Mark and Erica. Made it home in 43 minutes. Thought to myself, Dammit, didn't get to go home and access the database like I wanted.
Woke up before noon. My mommy, who's always off on Sundays, is working today so she can be off tomorrow on Labor Day. Met up with Tiwat at the Glendale Galleria. Grabbed some Subway sandwiches.
Introduced Tiwat to Brian at the GNC. They bonded over xanax. Mario, who's buff and a regular customer, has been missing for 3 weeks. Mario usually makes trips to Tijuana for business. He was last heard from before making another run to Tijuana. I don't like the sound of this.
Normally, I'd be listening to Iam sing at the Glendale Marketplace. But no. The security guard, some armenian named Artin, fucked it up. Artin got in an argument with some religious preachers who are normally at the Marketplace. So he ordered Iam to sing at their spot to make sure they don't come back. The problem is nobody passes by that empty spot. Iam normally made $50 in tips. But at that empty spot, he only made $1 after an hour. The restaurant managers even said they needed Iam to sing in front of their restaurants 'cause he drew more customers. But did that armo listen? Nooo. All this just to kick out the preachers. So Iam no-showed his last gig, claiming he was sick, yet blatantly saying he was in Pasadena. That armo got the hint that he quit.
Well, I got the house to myself on this fine Sunday night, which somehow doesn't feel like Sunday. And I got my gym time in. Database time.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
SCORE!
RYAN: Can I take a pic with you since you are gonna be famous?
DRAGON: Or fired. [we both laugh]
RYAN: What pose should we do?
DRAGON: I don't know. You wanna do "suck it?"
RYAN: Ok, cool, that's like an homage to your teacher, Shawn Michaels.
I skipped Capoeira training yesterday and went straight to PWG to watch the "American Dragon" Brian Danielson wrestle his last match since he got signed to WWE. I was supposed to go to Eugene's Birthday "party" beforehand, but it was cancelled since the only ones who could show up were Vernon, June, and Stef. Problem solved.
Chad and I enforced our new rule of "nothing but pitchers" when buying beer. Buggy (see 8-23-09 entry) was hanging out. I was gonna avoid her since I was wasted when I 1st met her (and you know what they say about 1st impressions). So I was talking to Biggie ... when someone round-house-kicked me! I turned around. It was Buggy!
BUGGY: What? You don't remember me?
RYAN: Of course I remember you!
BUGGY: I called, I texted. Why you avoiding me? Can you believe this guy, Bart?
BART: He's still got long hair and mine's all gone.
Holy crap. Bart was clean shaven and got rid of all his long hair for a buzz cut! WTF?
I got to talk to that bartender, Lisa, who I've always been busting a #3 to. I used Carlos and Michelle as the opener for the conversation. But, yeah, talked to her. SCORE!
Anyway, there seems to be confusion over the meaning of over which ear that a chick wears a flower on. Chicks have said that a flower on the left ear means "taken" and on the right ear means "available." But then some chicks argue it's the other way around. The point is: The jackoffable chick in the crowd from last week's show who wore a flower on her right ear (see 8/29/09 entry) was there again. But kissing the dude she sat next to. Fuck it, I'm still busting a #3 to her. That'll show her. Wear the flower on the correct ear to avoid being a cocktease, bitch!
Continuing on the list of jackoffability: Chad liked the chick who was sitting 2 rows behind him. She had long dark hair. I actually met her a few shows back with a drunken Carlos 'cause Carlos likes to drunkenly talk to everyone.
RYAN: I already jacked off to her before.
CHAD: (staring at her) I feel like jacking off right now!
RYAN: Be right back. Going to the rest room.
CHAD: To jack off?!
RYAN: No! To pee!
CHAD: Oh! Whoops.
I hugged Buggy goodbye. She was wearing a tanktop and I was wearing a tanktop, so it was more skin on skin. I got a boner.
I literally bumped into former WWE wrestler Paul London on my way out.
RYAN: Sorry, man.
PAUL: That was fault-- Dude, I like your hair!
RYAN: Thanks.
PAUL: It looks so strong ...
RYAN: Oh, thanks, man.
PAUL: Don't ever cut it ...
RYAN: Oh, I will not.
PAUL: Don't even fuck it up by putting any product in it ...
RYAN: Cool, I won't.
PAUL: blah, blah, blah ...
RYAN: Is Paul stoned?
BIGGIE: Yeah, he's stoned.
Bart and Big Babi Slymm told me to give their regards to my "dad" (Matt's dad, Conrad). I was supposed to try to make it to David's band performance at the Mix in Montrose. They went on at 11:00PM. I got out of PWG at 1:00AM. Problem solved.
I fired up the porn, put on a Bailey O'Dare video, then a Amanda Emino video. Thought about that chick that Chad wanted. I rocket-launched it.
Woke up today and picked up an application for Halloween America. Off to Chris and Heather's party in Anaheim now.
Thursday, September 3, 2009
I feel so dirty!
Yesterday's fortune cookie that came with my dinner at P.F. Chang's says:
That's right, goddammit!
I did jack shit today. I went to the gym to get yolked.
Apparently, my mommy found something that she likes in the Red Robin menu: the salmon burger. So we went to Red Robin, but the catch was that I had to order a salmon burger as well 'cause she wants me to start "eating healthy." Brandon was our server. He brought up that I should nag Iam about getting into competitive bodybuilding. Brandon was a bodybuilder himself from age 15-20 after a female bodybuilder suggested it, did 5 shows total, but said he never got as big as Iam.
MY MOMMY: I'll have the salmon burger.
RYAN: [sigh] I'll have the same. She wants me to eat fish instead of meat to "eat healthy."
BRANDON: Where's the fun in that?
RYAN: I know!
This was the 1st time I went to Red Robin, my favorite burger place, and not ordered a real burger. I feel so dirty!
You will make a name for yourself in the field of entertainment.
That's right, goddammit!
I did jack shit today. I went to the gym to get yolked.
Apparently, my mommy found something that she likes in the Red Robin menu: the salmon burger. So we went to Red Robin, but the catch was that I had to order a salmon burger as well 'cause she wants me to start "eating healthy." Brandon was our server. He brought up that I should nag Iam about getting into competitive bodybuilding. Brandon was a bodybuilder himself from age 15-20 after a female bodybuilder suggested it, did 5 shows total, but said he never got as big as Iam.
MY MOMMY: I'll have the salmon burger.
RYAN: [sigh] I'll have the same. She wants me to eat fish instead of meat to "eat healthy."
BRANDON: Where's the fun in that?
RYAN: I know!
This was the 1st time I went to Red Robin, my favorite burger place, and not ordered a real burger. I feel so dirty!
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Cursed
Saw Richard last night at Tonga Hut. He's still celebrating the end of his month-long sobriety due to that foolish bet.
Trevor also needed advice about breaking up with his 20-year-old girlfriend of over a year whom he sees only twice a month.
RICHARD: You need someone more your level. Young girls are only good for fun.
RYAN: (smiling) Yes, they are.
We high-fived. They also had these chicks with them named Nicky and Sabrina. Nicky used to be a phone-sex operator, but was fired for laughing at a customer.
NICKY: The guy said he wanted to wrap me in saran wrap and olive oil. I laughed. He said, "That's not funny." I kept laughing at him. Then my line got cut off and my boss told him, "We're sorry about that, sir."
Today I went to Capoeira practice, but just to watch. I've been playing around with New Skin Liquid Bandage on my injured knees. Skateboarding accident. Andres is still happy about my grappling victory over the weekend. Louis' left foot is actually broken from Jesse I trying to sweep him last Friday. Others present were Jesse II, Diana, Caesar, Angel, and Chris.
LOUIS: You can buy beer, but you can't buy me a Subway (sandwich)?
RYAN: Yeah, beer.
LOUIS: You have a problem! You need to go to Alcoholics Anonymous. Drink water instead and if you still need the alcohol, put some kool-aid in it!
Louis was cranky today. I don't know how old he is, but picture this: 2% body fat, no muscle, shorter than everyone, still has his pre-puberty voice, and barely started growing facial hair. That makes the following conversation funny:
LOUIS: Ryan won't buy me a fuckin' Subway!
RYAN: You're not old enough to curse.
LOUIS: Fuck you! I'm fuckin' hungry and I can't fuckin' believe you have no fuckin' money to go to fuckin' Subway to buy me a fuckin' sandwich! Fuckin' bullshit!
So then he backwashed into my water. I hobbled (chased) over to him. He stood up for the "stare down." But I skipped the "stare down" step and went right into the "smacking the crippled in his head" step. Ha.
Anyway, the roda must've been cursed today. First, Andres - who's usually agile since he's the teacher after all - somehow stumbled backward into my knees. Then Diana tripped over Louis' broken foot. Haha. Jesse II, who's also injured, tried to play and was doing fine until his leg gave out from under him. Andres stopped the game right there, but restarted 'cause everyone wanted to keep going. Finally, Diana somehow managed to stomp on Caesars balls. That was the end of class.
I gave everyone some of the Monster Massive flyers that Marty gave me at the PWG show last Friday.
I brought my mommy to this network marketing meeting. The name of the dude who invited me is Hector. The point was for my mommy to be her usually skeptical self so that they'd have a reason to not want me and I'd have a reason to not do it. Backfired! My mommy ended up liking it.
HECTOR: You have your mom's support!
I guess I'm getting back into network marketing. My mommy and I ate at P.F. Chang's in Burbank for the first time for dinner.
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Happy September
I did nothing but rock out from the beginning until the end of guitar practice. Vahik and I can make anything sound good.
I was supposed to train Mark today, but got a text from him saying he can't get out of work early like he thought.
I got a text from Michelle saying they just left Denver and are on their way to Nebraska.
Masa called me. Haven't seen him since May. He's someone that Hiro introduced me to before he left for Japan. Masa is the kind of guy who put his leather jacket in the washing machine and had no idea why it came out faded. Must be a language barrier.
Hiro's still staying at a hotel in Sherman Oaks until he can find his own place. He has the whole room to himself to jack off. Lucky.
I just remembered to call Richard 'cause he'd be celebrating the end of that month-long bet today, the one where he gave up alcohol. He's at the Tonga Hut in North Hollywood. I'm off.
I was supposed to train Mark today, but got a text from him saying he can't get out of work early like he thought.
I got a text from Michelle saying they just left Denver and are on their way to Nebraska.
Masa called me. Haven't seen him since May. He's someone that Hiro introduced me to before he left for Japan. Masa is the kind of guy who put his leather jacket in the washing machine and had no idea why it came out faded. Must be a language barrier.
Hiro's still staying at a hotel in Sherman Oaks until he can find his own place. He has the whole room to himself to jack off. Lucky.
I just remembered to call Richard 'cause he'd be celebrating the end of that month-long bet today, the one where he gave up alcohol. He's at the Tonga Hut in North Hollywood. I'm off.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
