I stopped by the Great Earth to ask more questions. I found out that annoying kid Emmanuel now goes there everyday and annoys the hell out of them too.
I visited Brian and Iam at the GNC. Haven't seen them working the same shift together in a long time. Johnny stopped by, sharply dressed. We recounted how Brian and I were trying to save him from his brother's gang troubles that he inherited right before I left for the Philippines. He had to fight 2 cholos with shaved heads. As I predicted, they threw nothing but right haymakers and straight kicks.
JOHNNY: I gotta go to a job interview. The chick interviewing me is really cute.
BRIAN: Where?
JOHNNY: Some jewelry store I used to steal from.
Arthur, whom I can't remember when was the last time I saw him, texted to check up on me. Then Mark texted me ...
MARK: Have you seen Allison pics lately? Your girl has gained weight! But I know you likey
(Allison's a raver chick from Palmdale that I like to bust a #3 to.)
RYAN: Not lately. She texted me a couple of weeks ago to ask if I was going to Beyond Wonderland. I wasn't. But nevertheless, I got a boner from her texting me.
I brought Sam Adams Cherry Wheat to Brandon, Morgan and Hasel's place for UFC 111. But as much as they like Sam Adams, Cherry Wheat is their least favorite with Morgan describing it as ...
MORGAN: It taste as if you left a fat chick on a deserted island, fed her nothing but cherries for a year, and came back to tongue her asshole.
RYAN: Well then this is good asshole.
It made me miss Carlos since he appreciated Cherry Wheat. Speaking of which, Carlos texted me from Arizona since he's there for Wrestlemania to tell me that he was watching Jack Evans. Lucky.
Then that aforementioned raver chick, Allison, texted me (albeit everyone else as well) about a Drum & Bass event going on. I texted Mark back ...
RYAN: Speak of the devil. I just got a text from her a while ago (although it was a mass text) about some D&B event tonight. I can so jack off to her texting me.
MARK: Hahaha
Anyway, Brandon, Morgan, and Hasel were throwing a BDay party for their bff Sidney's girlfriend.
- The new dudes I met said I looked "ripped," but I modestly said I'm in my fat season.
- There was this emo-looking, eyeglasses-wearing actor named Allen who offered to keep in contact with me for advice.
- This chick named Odais walked in with a douchebag-looking boyfriend. Odais was automatically in everyone's database. Her bf was "straight edge" and looked out of place.
- In a surprise twist, it turns out Allen fucked Odais in the past. That was a secret among everyone that we kept from her douchebag bf, which we made fun of him for.
- There was this chick named Caroline, who would come into play later.
- I was wearing my Alice Cullen shirt and someone said I had balls wearing it, but everyone agreed there was nothing gay about having a hot chick on your shirt. We then looked at the naked Ashley Green pics on Morgan's computer.
SIDNEY: (talking to me) You know what's fucked up? I'm half-Hawaiian. They told me, "If only you were full Pacific Islander, you'd look like Ryan."
After Caroline left ...
MORGAN: You know that girl with the short hair, smoking a pipe ...
RYAN: Caroline?
MORGAN: Yeah! Dudes, you so could've boned that chick.
RYAN: You're only telling us this NOW???
MORGAN: I know, I fucked up!
Morgan, their other roommate and his friend, and I walked to Del Taco at 3:00AM. Their roommate's friend found a Martial Arts orange belt in the street and wore it. At Del Taco, he drunkenly asked for the "red belt discount" (apparently he's color blind) for the "red belt combo." Morgan apologized for this.
CASHIER: I've seen worse. I've seen someone in a Wheeties Box costume skateboarding up and down our drive thru and just planted himself on someone's car.
Morgan bought me burritos. I showed him a Jon Lajoie video and went home at 5:00AM.
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