Thanksgiving

What the F? I woke up after having a dream that I was having sex with Kelly Osbourne. I guess I was still thinking about how she should've won this season's Dancing with the Stars last Tuesday. Should've.

Anyway, today's Thanksgiving, my 2nd favorite holiday of the year (after Halloween). I just like to eat. My mommy sent me to some Filipino food store called Arko to pick up egg rolls and goat. Then I went to Ralph's to buy distilled water.

There was this chick standing next to me in line that I had to put in my database. She had light brown hair, a bad perm, about my height, and "an older woman" type of face. Wasn't sure if she was armenian because sometimes it's hard to tell these days, but if she was, I would've fucked her only out of spite. Now if this was a porn film, we would've exchanged cheesy dialogue, there would've been some corny reason to go back to her car or mine, and bow chicka wow wow (even though it would've been crowded since we're the same height). But nooo. In this real life, I just paid for my stuff and left.

I went to McDonald's for my junk food fix. There was this employee that I had to put in my database. She was some kind of latina with a pretty face.

RYAN: May I have a refill of orange soda?
CHICK: [Taking my cup] Sure. Hold on to your lid please.

I actually exchanged dialogue with her! Score! If only this was a porn film, we would've exchanged cheesy metaphors comparing sex to her refilling my cup, there would've been a pretentiously corny reason for us to end up in the backroom, and bow chicka wow wow. But nooo. In this real life, she refilled my cup, I said, "Thank you," and went home.

I had to stop by Ralph's again to pick up paper plates. My cousin Mark and my niece Mikaela were at my house. For the 1st time, Mikaela was able to not cry around me. She had always thought I looked like a villain out of a cartoon and cried out of fear whenever I came around. Hiro, my friend from Japan who had nowhere to go, arrived next. I grubbed on turkey with cranberry sauce, ham with tantalizing mustard, cranberry juice, fruit salad, coconut pastries, pumpkin pie, coffee, and cousin Andree's Birthday cake (fruit tart from Porto's Bakery).