I'll Stand By You

Late last night/early this morning at the gym, I was doing my calisthenics when a cop walked in looking for someone. He didn't say who, but only 1 person comes to mind: Datu. Let's review: Datu's a regular customer at the GNC who disappears periodically because he was either in the hospital or in jail. He's required to remain on medications. Last time he was arrested, it was for masturbating outside of a club in Glendale called Giggles while on cocaine.

I found out the following conversation took place after I left:

IAM: I can't tell if that's a guy or a girl because he or she has bitch tits.
GUY WITH BITCH TITS: (overhears) What are you guys talking about over there?
IAM: We're talking about your bitch tits.
GUY WITH BITCH TITS: This is a chest.
IAM: Do you prefer the term "man boobs?" It's not supposed to hang down like that.
[nervous silence]
GUY WITH BITCH TITS: I guess I'll increase my cardio.

I had a nutella crepe today with strawberries, bananas, and whip cream. It was bomb. I also took my sweet time eating it that I texted Andres I'd be late to Capoeira practice.

When I finally got there 50 minutes late (and there was traffic today when there's never traffic), I found Andres, Louis, Diana, and Jesse II in the recreation center of the park. Andres finally convinced management to give us a space to train indoors! But we do have to prove that we can draw more students. Anyway, there was no training today because it was so damn cold. And I promised Diana that I'd treat her as "1 of the boys with no special treatment" because she got fed up with being excluded whenever we guys share "guy stories."

I called Carlos while I was at the mall:

CARLOS: Are you gonna ask Jazz out?
RYAN: Um, I just have to try to catch her when she's not busy.
CARLOS: Are you walking around the Red Robin right now?
RYAN: (coincidentally walking around the Red Robin) Um, no. But I'm walking there right now.

I visited Brian at the GNC. Edna, the director of The Forgotten Jewel, which I worked on as a stuntman, called me to make sure she spelled my name correctly in the credits. Then this security guard named Ken walked in. He's a guy I knocked out with a roundhouse kick to the head during a fight 10 years ago. Ken shook hands with Brian. So then I rubbed my hand all over my dick before shaking hands with Ken out of spite. Then Brian's new girl, Tu, stopped by to grab Brian's balls to give him blue balls before leaving for the night.

I ended the night with watching Orianthi Panagaris, who was Michael Jackson's lead guitarist in his movie This Is It and whom I later busted a #3 to, perform on Dancing with the Stars. Then an all new episode of Glee where they covered The Pretenders' I'll Stand By You. Lastly, The Ultimate Fighter on Spike TV.