My teeth rule

I went to the dentist. I've never had a cavity. Still don't. They were surprised that I've never had braces. Apparently, my teeth are that good. But they said they might have to seal over some dips.

Skipped Capoeira training.

I parked at the Americana where it's supposed to be free parking Monday - Thursday. But just for the "holidays," they began charging today after an hour. This might last until after New Year. What are they? Jewish? I visited Brian at the GNC. The annoying kid Emmanuel was there.

RYAN: What are they? Jewish?
BRIAN: Must be!

A few minutes earlier, I had walked by this kid Johnny, who was walking with 2 lesbians. Coincidentally, Johnny walked into the GNC later.

JOHNNY: I'm hanging out with these lesbians right now. One's a butch. I made fun of them all throughout high school and now they won't leave me alone. I told them I had to come in here right now to get medicine for my stomach. They bought it.
BRIAN: How old's the one who's not a butch?
JOHNNY: My age (highschool).
BRIAN: Send them over his way (pointing at me).

I went to move my car so I won't have to pay those "Jews" parking. I saw Dave hanging out in the Glendale Marketplace on the way back. Emmanuel was gone. Yes. That left Brian, Johnny and I to talk about real guy stuff:

• Each 1 of us has illegally taken out a chick because she lied about her age.
• Johnny's ex 13-year-old girlfriend's mom also lied about her daughter's age because she thought Johnny was the best her daughter could do.
• Extenze apparently makes it so that you can't stop ejaculating to the point that you soak the chick.
• Brian has shown all of his reluctant dates porn to the point they become brainwashed into thinking "porn style sex" is "real life sex."
• Johnny hates the actors from Twilight because his girlfriend and her friends are in love with them.
• Brian just hates Taylor Lautner who plays Jacob Black on Twilight because he's only 17 and buffer than all of us.
• Brian is self-conscious about his current girl, Tu - a.k.a. Vietnam - because he thinks she qualifies as a midget at 4'8.

BRIAN: But Ryan, you said you'd fuck her (Tu), right?
RYAN: Um, no I didn't.
BRIAN: Didn't you? Mario said he'd fuck her. And someone else said so too.
RYAN: It wasn't me.
BRIAN: But wouldn't you?
RYAN: You want me to fuck your girl???
BRIAN: No, no, no! [Johnny laughs] Like, I need a second opinion. If more guys would hypothetically fuck her, it reassures me that she's not a midget.
RYAN: Brian's a midget fucker!

Mommy brought home Chinese food for dinner. I watched Dancing with the Stars. I would've never thought this before, but after seeing Kelly Osbourne's transformation throughout this show ... I'd hit it. Ended the night with WWE Raw.