Redlight

I woke up from a dream that I was saving my grade school classmate Laura from a gang rape attempt. What weird is that the setting looked like Uncle Bobby's backyard. I wonder what Laura's up to these days in real life.

I skipped the gym in the morning and played my guitar until I had a calous on the tip of my thumb. I fired up the porn until I had to go to guitar practice.

I went around the Red Robin, but I guess Jazz was either working the day shift or not working today. I rushed by Hot Topic and saw that Georgia, the substitute for Jazz in my database, was working and bobbing her head to that one song by Akon featuring David Guetta. That's cool because the body mechanics of head bobbing are also used in oral sex and now I got Georgia's body mechanics stored in my database.

I went to the Halloween store to see that chick Jessica from last week, the one who was obsessingly like, "Are you finding everything OK? My name's Jessica," "If you need anything, my name's Jessica," and "Blah, blah, blah, my name's Jessica" (see entry 10/15/10). So I was screaming "Jessica" while busting a #3 to her last Monday (see entry 10/18/10). BUT tonight I walked around her a few times and, despite looking hot, she actually didn't even notice me! I mean, I understand they were busy, but I looked hot for God's sake!

DUDE: Is it OK if we take a picture with these [Chewbacca and Darth Vader cardboard cutouts]?
RYAN: I don't work here.
DUDE: Oh, whoops. You look like you do. That's a nice shirt. (Referring to my Just Give Me The Damn Candy shirt.) Your hair's cool too!

I love it whenever I can make a straight guy compliment my hair. (I'm assuming he's straight because I'm assuming the chick he was with is his girlfriend.)

I ended the night with a new episode of Smallville, found a new porn series called Redlight Sex Trips while watching Max Payne on HBO, busted a #3 to that chick at Barnes & Noble last night (see entry 10/21/10), and then busted a #3 to Jessica in an anger masturbation (you know, as opposed to anger sex) sort of way for not noticing me earlier.

Finally, I decided to do a periodic check of my endurance. On one hand, I was happy with the results. But on the other hand, everyone knows you automatically last longer if you had just previously busted a #3, so I kind of felt cheated.