Heather and Chris' place for UFC 121 because, except for DJ Z-Trip, Monster Massive sucks this year

I did my 12th day at the gym. Then I headed to Heather and Chris' place in Anaheim to watch the UFC 121 PPV, or their "The Lineup At Monster Massive Sucks This Year So We're Having Our Own Party" shindig as Heather dubbed it. My mommy told me to bring them fruit salad.

• Heather was in a Marie Antoinette costume. Chris had some creepy costume. Jared was a human whoopie cushion. Tim was in "white guy trying to act black" getup. Other guests included Marelis, her boyfriend Brian (or Doug as he's nicknamed, which helps differentiate him from other Brians I know) and other grownups.
• Heather told me the night before that I can bring my Oktoberfest mug and fill it up there. She even bought Sam Adams Oktoberfest beer because she remembered Sam Adams seasonal beers are my favorite.
• Jared, who again is a Brazilian Jujitsu instructor, taught me the X-guard and Z-guard, both of which I've never heard of before.
• Judy and her roommate Rendy came, both of them wearing some kind of sporty getup.
• The running gag of me freaking Heather out by crushing on her older sister (38 years old) continued ...

HEATHER: Ryan likes porn, but I'm trying to get him to stick to appropriate porn [not high school chicks].
RYAN: How's your sister?
HEATHER: [Rolls eyes.] He likes my sister.
SOME GROWNUP: Which one?
HEATHER: Naomi. Um, she's fine. We're trying to get my mom to move in with her, not me. And she's busy getting a divorce.
RYAN: Tell her I said, "Hi!"
HEATHER: [Laughs.] I will.

• It seems Lauren and Judy are back together. (Yes, they're both girls.)
• Jared privately disclosed that he's a Republican and doesn't like lesbians, which led to him getting pissed off when Judy said Rendy could kick his ass, which led to him challenging Rendy to a Jujitsu match and making her tap out!
• Doug proposed the idea that we all do shots in honor of my dad. We used Jameson whiskey.

HEATHER: (With her hand on Judy's bra) Ok, everybody except for Lauren and Chris close your eyes.

Before I could cluelessly ask why, I was already seeing Judy's nipple.

HEATHER: Judy doesn't cuddle with me anymore because Rendy stole her. Ryan, will you replace Judy as my cuddle buddy?
RYAN: [Sigh.] Fine.
HEATHER: (Sarcastically) I love your enthusiasm.
RYAN: Would your sister join us?
HEATHER: [Sigh.]

While we were all in the jacuzzi, Rendy stayed in the kitchen because she was buzzed (and obviously not used to drinking). Jared decided to keep her company. Uh oh. This worried Heather.

LAUREN: Don't worry, she won't go for him.
HEATHER: She's drunk!

Judy then went to interfere.

RYAN: I'll go with [Judy] for backup.
HEATHER: Backup ... Riiight. Ryan just likes staring at Rendy's ass!

As soon as Judy and I got back to the jacuzzi, everyone was getting out ...

CHRIS: What the fuck? Where's everyone going?
RYAN: I'm still here! I'm loyal!
HEATHER: Loyal to Rendy's ass!

I got home. Fired up the porn. There was a new Jessica Carrboro video where her boyfriend, instead of finishing on her face as usual, finished inside her for a change! Sweet!