689.0

I had a dream that I was driving a car. Mark was in the passenger seat while our old friend, Barbara, was in the back seat. We were traveling down essentially a fictional Los Angeles, resembling more of the route to Hollywood. I parked in front of a club. Barbara didn't want to go inside, scrutinizing it as if it was ghetto. But then she needed to use the restroom and wanted Mark and I to be her bodyguards inside. End of dream.

I slept through a text message at 6:59AM from my mommy saying that she found her cell phone at work as she had misplaced it all of yesterday.

At the gym, I did an hour on the treadmill. Its meter says I burned 689.0 calories over the distance of 5-point-something miles (it might've been 5.78) at 5.6 mph throughout the whole time. Although, it's possible that that's a ballpark figure.

Dana at Lush Cosmetics was the only one renewed in the database at the mall. I helped mommy with laundry before eating dinner at Jollibee at the Eagle Rock Plaza, where a couple of episodes of Glee have been filmed. Jollibee has a Wednesday special of two buckets of chicken for only $10. Of course I always add a halo halo to all my Filipino meals whenever I can. I read more of American Gods at Barnes & Noble before calling it a night.

I can do abdominal exercises again without injuring my ass

I had a dream last night that I was trying to fit a long strip of beef from Yoshinoya, which I had for dinner in real life before going to sleep ... and dad playfully helped me. That reminds me, dad's death anniversary is coming up. End of dream.

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" - Albus Dumbledore, "King's Cross," Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

I went to the gym to do compound exercises in the new regiment of light weights, three sets of twenty repetitions each. AND I was finally able to do abdominal exercises again. Apparently, some time ago, I had gone crazy super-setting abdominal exercises that I ended up getting rug burn on my ass that I would then irritate whenever I tried to do abdominal exercises. But I've finally waited it out to heal.

I did something grownup by buying water at Costco. Then I went to Teagle Optometry to have my glasses retightened, but they half-assed it and I'll have to take it somewhere else so that they don't get annoyed with me. I read more of American Gods at Barnes & Noble before going home for a special live Tuesday night broadcast of WWE Smackdown.

Also, that chick Ruby finally poked me back on Facebook. It could've been yesterday, but I just noticed it today. I can bust a #3 to her again.

The [Harry]Potterhead versus the Redhead

I had a few dreams last night. 1) I think the dogs came to visit me again. 2) I was B-Boyin' in this studio on the top floor of some building that needed a long ladder to get to. People were impressed with my downrock. 3) Exiting the above studio, the ladder was suddenly replaced with a stairwell. I walked downstairs into a library that contained DVDs and videotapes of movies and TV shows. Shelves also contained stuff resembling what my college roommates in real life had left behind. My best friend Walter, who in real life has essentially vanished from the face of the earth, was present and I got to hug him as our grade school classmates looked on. End of dreams.

I caught last night's new episode of True Blood before going to the gym to spend half an hour on the treadmill, which I haven't done in a while. Then I came home, fired up the porn, and busted a #3 to that young, really long-haired redhead from last Thursday. (See entry 8/25/11.) Although, sometime in the middle, I started thinking about the fellow [Harry]Potterhead from the neighboring city's Hot Topic because the girl in one video that I watched prior looked like a prettier version of said Potterhead. But I ultimately finished to said redhead.

After watering Alex's lawn, I headed to read more of American Gods at Barnes & Noble. But on the way there, Faith was working at Brookstone in the mall, rocking eye glasses today, so she's renewed in the database. Seriously, where are all the other girls in the database these days? I came home to WWE RAW and Yoshinoya for dinner.

Why do they fill the urinals with ice?

Alarm clock woke me up to go to Gymnastics ... But I went back to sleep. I compensated by later going to the gym.

Mommy and I ate dinner at Zono Sushi for the first time since last February. (See entry 2/27/11.) We're practically strangers there now. I had my usual, but they were sold out of toro (fatty tuna), so added the scallop with mayonnaise instead. Random note: The door next to the restrooms is a secret passageway to the alley and has an air conditioner. Mental note: Why do they fill the urinals with ice?

I read more of American Gods at Barnes & Noble before going home.

The Deadly Boys versus Men Without Fear

I went to Top Rocking class. It's the fourth week now, and the first class with the substitute, whom I then mistook as the regular teacher, was still the best class. Today was mostly choreography. And to make it worse, there were no jackoffable chicks today. On the way home, I watered Alex's lawn.

Random: In the men's restroom at the mall, some guy complimented me on my Taylor Swift shirt. I briefly stopped by Charles Billiards to catch the main event of UFC 134. There was one blond chick who looked like a prettier version of my grade school classmate Stefanie (not to be confused with THE Stefanie). There was also another chick who resembled my high school classmate Jennifer, but with smaller eyes. They're both in my database.

I finally stopped by Brandon's new place in Pasadena as it was his new roommate's Birthday party. Brandon was actually ordered by the drunken Birthday boy to change out of his jersey and into a shirt that the latter made. It was a sleeveless white shirt ripped open. But Brandon would later poke holes in it and thread a shoe lace through it to give it a Renaissance feel. Anyway, there was a chick named Lotem whose accent was a combination of English and Israeli. I'd bust a #3 to only her voice, but the rest of her is just beer-goggles tolerable.

Anyway, highlight: There was a keg of Blue Moon. Brandon revealed to me that his and Dan's (the guy who would've had to have his hand literally amputated had he procrastinated a couple more days to go to the doctor) tag team name in pro-wrestling would be "Men Without Fear." But Matt and I, as an inside joke to people thinking we're brothers, would be called the "Deadly Boys" (pun on Dudley Boys).

BRANDON: [High-fives] Can the Deadly Boys feud with Men Without Fear?

Last stop of the night: Pat's Cocktails for rockstar David's Birthday party (not to be confused with Dave or Bartending classmate David). He had called me last Thursday ...

DAVID: Is this fat Filipino?
RYAN: Yes, this is 14.5% body fat Filipino.
DAVID: What have you been up to?
RYAN: Trying to get down to 10% body fat.

David's friend George approached me with a position to direct a few episodes of his show that he's trying to launch in January. By the time I got home, I was actually too tired to bust a #3 to any chick.

4 Scissors = Potential Wolfpac telepathy in this group

... Continued.

Last night, I picked up "Choir Boy" from his Muay Thai lesson. No Bar happened to be down the street. That reminds me, I've busted a #3 to the bartender, Paula, there. Anyway, I trained "Choir Boy" in FMA at a nearby park. Agenda: Sumbrada (Fighter Flow Drill), vertical gunting (scissors), and hubad lubad (to tie and untie). He was more delirious than usual, which he attributed to heat exhaustion. And then I became delirious when my phone died despite being fully charged.

"CHOIR BOY": Is your database stored on your phone?
RYAN: Wait, do you even know what a database is?
'CHOIR BOY": It's your black book, right?

Wow, innocence. No wonder he got nicknamed "Choir Boy."

Thankfully, plugging my phone into a charger defibrillated it. The rest of the "superhero meeting," as it must now be called - "Super A" and "G" - arrived, the latter almost carrying the former as she injured her leg. After a futile attempt to have the winner of a game of "Rock, Paper, Scissors" decide where to eat - We all somehow picked "scissors!" - we inexplicably headed to California Pizza Kitchen. Mental note: The backseat of "G"'s car is roomy enough to shoot a porn.

"G" and I shared a pizza called "The Works" while "Choir Boy" and "Super A" were blue-balled when the advertised gluten-free dishes were unavailable. The chef deserved a Karate Chop. But the wine was good.

In total: I had a corona, two glasses of wine, honey whiskey & Cherry Coke, and blueberry & something. We watched Underworld: Rise of the Lycans and I got home at 1:30AM.

I had a dream again that I was grappling and won with another arm-triangle submission, which, again, I've never attempted in real life. I woke up after a second opponent took my back, I spun around and used my leg to create distance, creating the illusion of an illegal kick, and got disqualified. End of dream.

Guitar practice was rescheduled last second to an hour earlier. It was a bitch playing Flamenco guitar after cutting my nails earlier this week.

I carried my guitar with me as a chick magnet at the mall afterward. I was able to sneak past my stalker at Hot Topic. I think. Faith at Brookstone was rocking eye glasses today, back to looking like Erica Durance as Lois Lane on Smallville. She was massaging her coworker with the vibrator electric neck massager. Mmm ... I could see the tan lines of her bra straps. The lingering teen in me had a boner.

I read more of American Gods at Barnes & Noble before going home to fire up the porn. There was this one video of a couple that was set to a bunch of 80's hair metal, which I recognized as drunkenly dancing to at Garry's Birthday party in West Hollywood last month. (See entry 7/16/11.) I then busted a #3 to that chick Madison from last Tuesday. (See entry 8/23/11.)

Glee in 3D = Air-guitaring, running up and down the row, with no shirt on

I watered Alex's lawn by my myself today.

On my way to watch Glee in 3D, I was initially headed to the AMC 8 when my Spidey Sense went off and I rerouted to the AMC 6. Thankfully, my Spidey Sense was right. I got a free Glee movie poster. There were only two other people in the theater with me and they sat in the front. Therefore, I sat in the back ... to air-guitar, running up and down the row, with no shirt on! Best. 3D experience. Ever.

I was at the Burbank mall and, while in Hot Topic (in this location I don't have to worry about my stalker), learned of a new band and a new song through their sound system: Hyper Crush's The Arcade.

I was already running late to meet up with the one who must now be known by the secret code name "Choir Boy" when I saw this chick. She was walking with her mom. The chick had long red hair that actually went past her ass. Yeah, that long. I remembered how one chick once used my hair, when it was a lot longer, to wrap it around her waist. But I could so do the same to myself with this chick's long red hair. She had a retro hippie look - a mostly-yellow tye-dye shirt, yellow sunglasses that hung at the neck, torn jeans that were probably bought torn, and boots. She wandered into Pac Sun. I followed until she went into Hot Topic since it would look weird to walk back inside when I was just there. She looked old enough to be legal (though it could just be wishful thinking). She's in my database.

Then I finally snapped out of it and remembered I was already late in meeting up with "Choir Boy."

To Be Continued ...

♫ Yeah you ♪ shook me all night long ♬

The new fitness manager at the gym has been offering free consultations. His name's Jacob. I had an appointment with him at 2:30PM. It was Jacob meeting "Jacob" (my nickname that originates from Twilight).

JACOB: What's your goal?
RYAN: This might sound vague, but ... I wanna get to where those werewolf kids on Twilight are at.
JACOB: That's actually really specific.

My current Body Mass Index (BMI) is 24.5 and I'm at 14.5% body fat. Jacob said I'll need to get down to 10% body fat, change my workout to three sets of twenty reps of lightweights, add a couple of days of cardio per week, add more vegetables to my diet, and take BCAA and thermogenic supplements. Other than that, I'm doing everything correctly.

I was doing rows for my lat muscles in front of a chick doing sit-ups. She was light skinned with long, reddish hair tied back. Each pull gave the illusion of my hips thrusting forward. Each pull/hip thrust then became synced with her coming up for a sit up. Therefore, it was an illusion of her throbbing as I thrusted into her ... while the sound system blasted AC/DC's Shook Me All Night Long. I actually didn't want to take any breaks, resulting in one long superset. Best. Workout. Ever. She's in my database.

At the mall, Faith was working at Brookstone. Now I've made fun of her hair before, but ... Good God, what was she thinking today? She was basically going for the Bellatrix Lestrange look from Harry Potter! And her makeup didn't blend well with her face. Umm ... I mean, I guess I'd still hit it. I guess.

I took a break from reading more of American Gods at Barnes & Noble to eat dinner with my mommy at Thai BBQ.

Concealer, mascara ... stuff I don't know. But I have to admit, it made me look hot.

I just remembered I had a dream two nights ago that I was grappling with someone and won with an arm triangle submission. I've never tried the arm triangle yet in real life. I had a few dreams last night, but I can no longer remember them. Sometimes they fade away as the day goes on. End of dreams.

Apparently Tito Noel doesn't just do hair, but also makeup. Mommy took the day off and we visited him. When he was done, my face looked like that of a Ken doll, but still heterosexual-like. Barely.

I met the photographer dude in Santa Clarita. The setting was mostly a bridge and some trees. His camera assistant was named Madison. She was above average height for a girl, but shorter than me like cute girls should be. She didn't look like a bottle blond, but I could see her roots, which just means she knows how to bleach her hair moderately. And the wind revealed a nice jagged cut along the bangs. Her white shorts were practically the length of underwear. I almost felt self-conscious doing my 1,000 poses in front of a cute chick and thought, the photographer's doing this on purpose!

PHOTOGRAPHER: I need you to go in the bushes and hold this shade over him.
MADISON: (In a Seriously?! sort-of-way) So I'm in the bushes?

Cute. She's in the database. And now I have new headshots.

Mommy and I watered Alex's lawn. That's her Baptismal godson, which I guess makes us godbrothers.

I just noticed that Dennis recently reactivated his Facebook when he posted a calisthenics Youtube video. He used to work at the Glendale Red Robin before transferring to the one in Simi Valley. Coincidentally, he was in the area paying bills when I saw him visiting his old coworkers at the mall. It turns out that I'm doing everything that he wants to do - for example, B-Boyin' and free-running. (He also said he used to Pop and Lock at Debbie Reynolds.)

RYAN: Are you naked in your [Facebook] picture?
DENNIS: Yeah ... I meant to post the zombie picture instead, but ... I used to do nude photography.
RYAN: I didn't know that.
DENNIS: I didn't tell anyone. But now I guess everyone knows. (In a So what? sort-of-way) It's the human body!

His only former coworkers that are still around are Branden (with an "E," not to be confused with my drinking buddy Brandon) and some other people named Tory and Laurie. Branden used to play piano where I play guitar. I guess I'll have to use Branden to get to Jazz since Jazz has been M.I.A. Actually, befriending Dennis in the first place was part of that contingency plan.

DENNIS: (Referring to the makeup still on my face) Your skin's clearer.

I then saw Helen arguing with her little daughter - "I have no money. Every time we go to the store, you want something!" - but she looked up just to wave at me. I guess motherhood has been stressful as she suddenly has acne. Oh well. She's renewed in the database. It feels good for someone in the database to be able to see me while I still look hot from today's shoot!

I read more of American Gods at Barnes & Noble before calling it a night. I just noticed that all my meals today were from a big bucket of KFC with gravy, biscuits, and coleslaw.

Haunted

Before going to bed, I finally cut my finger nails to give them a chance to grow back. Playing Flamenco guitar is going to be a bitch until they're long enough again.

OK, first I can no longer listen to You Belong With Me without thinking of Taylor Swift dress malfunction as of a randomly placed video on a porn site last Thursday. And now, Taylor's Haunted sound-tracked the Jason/Jessica sex scene on last night's True Blood. Coincidentally, I'd been wearing my Taylor shirt all weekend. Weird week to be a Taylor Swift fan.

I trained Johnny in FMA. He just finished watching last night's True Blood as well when I arrived. He still hasn't broken up with his girlfriend yet for cheating on him. Urgh. She keeps trying to apologize by sending him naked pictures of herself nonstop.

Anyway, we basically touched on everything in the curriculum except for joint locks and takedowns. Good news: He can finally do double sticks, or siniwali (to weave). Bad news: He can only shadow-box it, but loses concentration when aiming for targets.

I finally got to do what I've always wanted since last Saturday: Bust a #3 to that Canadian chick from Top Rocking class. (See entry 8/20/11.) Only this time, I was able to blast Taylor Swift's Haunted - again, the soundtrack to Jason and Jessica's sex scene - while screaming the chick's name, Ashley, the whole time. It was like my own reenactment of last night's True Blood. Apparently, Taylor Swift's camp refused to allow Haunted to score that scene, but then Taylor herself insisted on it. Ohh, Taylor's got a dark side!

At the mall, Faith was working at Brookstone, rocking eye glasses today. She's renewed in the database. I had to buy some new shirts as I'm finally getting new headshots tomorrow. Foreign Exchange, a new store, had a nice 3-for-$20 sale. I picked up a red, blue, and green v-neck shirt, plus a gray one for good luck.

Mommy and I ate dinner at In-N-Out. I read more of American Gods at Barnes & Noble before coming home for a little of WWE RAW.

Two pitchers of Sam Adams Oktoberfest on tap

Mise en scène: I had one of those nights where I don't remember how I got to bed. I woke up at 5:00AM, saw that I was mysteriously in my pajama pants without a shirt, got out of bed briefly to turn off all the lights, and brushed my teeth before going back to sleep. Where should I start?

Last night, I did a quick database run at the mall before going to PWG. Faith was working at Brookstone. Her hair's back to its unkempt look, but oh well. I imagine her as in her better days anyway whenever I need to. And I managed to sneak past my stalker at Hot Topic.

At PWG, Brandon arrived with Dan, who had been a couple of days away from having his hand literally amputated when he got to the doctor just in time, thus sporting a black hand brace. New friends they brought with them were Kristen, Travis, and Kim. Surprisingly, they were near the front of the line.

DAN: [Kim] likes your [Taylor Swift] shirt.
KRISTEN: So do I. I'm into Taylor Swift.
RYAN: So am I!

I had to help Chad finish his extra beer before we were let in. Cliff, from college days, called out to me as this was his second time attending.

CLIFF: Yo Ryan! Told you I'd be here!
RYAN: (Systematically, like a cyborg) I gotta down this beer real quick.
[They laugh.]

In total: Chad got a couple of pitchers on tap of Bud Light, Brandon a pitcher of Stella Artois, and I two pitchers of Sam Adams Oktoberfest.

Apparently, there were too many other events going on as the usual people weren't present. Neither was the chick who normally wears a flower on her ear, nor the chick that Chad and I both share in common in the database. Some chick in a wheelchair, a long time regular actually, complimented my Taylor Swift shirt and then called her boyfriend to take a look at it.

WHEELCHAIR CHICK'S BOYFRIEND: You have balls wearing that shirt.

Big ones, man. Big balls. Finally, this chick whom I've interacted with before, whose hair dye fluctuates from blond to brown and who's consistently more animated than anyone, was looking at me. I spotted her lip-synching to Metallica's Enter Sandman earlier. She vaguely resembles a 20-something-year-old Jane Lynch, but prettier since she's 20-something-years old.

RYAN: What's your name?
SHANNON: Shannon. That's a really cool shirt!

I can now scream out Shannon's name when I'm alone.

Oh yeah, the most important thing: (Duh!) The debut of former WWE Superstar Dave "Fit" Finlay was awesome. In fact, it was nice seeing Topgun Talwar - or Jonathan as I'm cool enough to call him by his real name - return, presumably for Finlay's appearance.

I had a dream last night that my late dogs came to visit. They were healthy and in their prime, not like in their old age in real life. They also wiped their mouths with paper towels when done eating. We played until I woke up. End of dream.

"Of course it is happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it is not real?" - Albus Dumbledore, "King's Cross," Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

I was too hungover to go to Gymnastics. I found leftovers of the steak quesadilla with everything on it from the Taco Truck last night. Then I realized that I passed out before I could bust a #3 to that Canadian chick Ashley from Top Rocking class yesterday. (See entry 8/21/11.) Now I'll have to wait until the next time I'm home alone. I felt like Captain America when the last thing he does in the 1940s is make a date right before he gets knocked comatose for seventy years and closes the movie with the heart-wrenching line, "It's just ... I had a date."

I'm not sure whether or not I was able to sneak past my stalker at Hot Topic since I avoided eye contact as I walked by. Then I was rocking out to Katy Perry's Last Friday Night (T.G.I.F.) in the Church parking lot ... until mommy arrived and caught me (despite it meaning she was late as well) and I finally walked inside.

Mommy and I had dinner at Outback Steakhouse. Her favorite waitress Lindsay was working. Lindsay is renewed in the database. I ended the night with reading more American Gods at Barnes & Noble.

6FUL855

I almost forgot that yesterday at the gas station, there was this chick filling up her white BMW SUV next to me. (Of course it's her parents' since she looks too young to afford it.) She was my same height, tan, long and wavy brown hair, short skirt, and sunglasses. I hate it when I'm trying to put a chick in my database and she's wearing sunglasses because then I have to imagine her wearing sunglasses when I bust a #3 to her. Who does that in real life? I have yet to find a porn where the chick is wearing sunglasses.

I was so distracted by her that, on an OCD note, I forgot to print out a receipt of my gas pumping. Or as kids these days would probably say, a "balancing-checkbook fail." You know, like, "(Insert incompetence here) fail."

Anyway, I went to Top Rocking class early ... But then the long ass line at the front desk made everyone late. And we were doing floor work - for example, ninja walks, sweeps - so there go my quadriceps. Enlightening fact: Knee drops are an illusion.

There was this short, white chick with a circular nose ring on the left bridge, and her curly blond hair tied up - not bottle blond, but lighter-than-usual blond. She had five-o'clock-shadow armpits with the deodorant glazed over them, but fortunately not that gross to me. I was trying to read her shirt before she changed into a red shirt ...

RYAN: What did your other shirt say?
ASHLEY: It says, "Make art. Not war." I'll show you. [Unfolds it.]

So I exchanged words with this cute chick. That's, like, verbal sex. Score! But then she's from Canada and is only here for a week. Cockblock! Urgh ... Why is it that every time I meet a cute chick in a Breakin' class, they're leaving the country? (For example, that one South African chick - see entry 1/11/11.) But at least I got her name: Ashley. So I'm happy. Being able to scream out a name makes it more fun when busting a #3. Yeah, Ashley is so in the database.

Off to the PWG show to watch the debut of former WWE Superstar Dave "Fit" Finlay. But first, maybe a quick database run at the mall.

En Las Cuevas

I got some gym time in before rushing to guitar practice, which was rescheduled to today. I got to do everything besides deadlifts, bench presses, bicep curls, and tricep presses. I'm starting to rock this Flamenco guitar style with this Paco de Pena song En Las Cuevas from last week.

I carried my guitar around with me like a chick magnet at the mall. Happenstance! Johnny tracked me down via Wolfpack telepathy (ala Twilight) ... right in front of the Hot Topic. But my stalker wasn't working at Hot Topic today.

RYAN: It's cool, my stalker's not working today.
JOHNNY: Yeah, I was like, should we be standing here?
RYAN: But even if she is working and I just didn't see her, it's cool to be standing in front of her avoiding eye contact with her anyway.

But that chick Ciera - whom I'm not attracted to, but once had a dream anyway that she was orally copulating me - was working at Hot Topic.

Johnny mentioned that his friend Lillian - who once said I was hot, but I had to turn her down after Johnny warned me that she caught an infection due to not always being into condoms (see entry 8/5/11) - was dressed up yesterday because she was supposed to have a date, but the guy stood her up. That means she has low self esteem! Yay!

Anyway, Faith was working at Brookstone. Her hair was in a ponytail, but looks like she's using better shampoo these days. She's renewed in my database. Helen was working at Latin Lingo, but was too busy too look up from the cash register and wave at me. But she's renewed in my database.

On an OCD related note, Barnes & Noble rearranged their children's section, thus relocating the Peter Pan books a shelf behind.

I never heard back from Anthony regarding Ezekiel's shindig, but now they're at the Local Peasant in Sherman Oaks. I just finished watching Date Night on HBO. Off to the Local Peasant ...

Hit it (part 2)

I watched Salt on HBO On Demand, which basically tried way too hard to pull off twist and turns, and then some comedy called The Virginity Hit.

I passed through Matt's street as a shortcut to Costco to buy water, bread and bananas. Since Matt has left for Japan for a year (see entry 6/28/11), as I passed by his house, it was like the series finale of The OC where the protagonist Ryan Atwood (Benjamin McKenzie) - who has the same name as me - sees the ghost of Marissa Cooper (Mischa Barton) as he drives away from her house. Except it was Matt's ghost instead of Marissa Cooper's, and Matt's not dead. But you know what I mean.

Some Star Search winner named Jake Simpson was at the Americana performing 80s songs, the likes of Journey, Foreigner, REO Speedwagon, Eagles, and others.

Mommy and I had dinner at In-N-Out Burger.

I was reading more of American Gods at Barnes & Noble when Johnny tracked me down via Wolfpack telepathy (ala Twilight). He was walking with that chick Lillian - who said I was hot, but I had to turn her down after Johnny warned me that she got some infection because she's not always into condoms. (See entry 8/5/11.) When they walked away, I texted Johnny:

Hit it.

He texted back:

Haha nah dude she just a close friend

Step Up 3

I finally got to watch Step Up 3 on Starz On Demand. I went to the gym afterward for squats and upper body push and pull muscles.

At the mall, I occasionally see Dana at Lush, but actually have to mention that she looked good with her hair down today. She's renewed in the database.

I read more of American Gods at Barnes & Noble. Helen was working at Latin Lingo. She waved. I waved back. She's renewed in the database. Then I ran to Panda Inn for my mommy's cousin's Birthday party. Afterward, I resumed reading at Barnes & Noble.

American Gods

I had a dream last night that I was grappling with my old Capoeira group. End of dream.

I stayed up late last night watching uploads of WWE Summerslam online. This morning, I caught last night's episode of True Blood. Then I busted a #3 to Faith.

At the mall, Faith at Brookstone was the only one in the database who was working. But she actually looked good for the first time in months. Her hair was down and whatever was left of her badly cut bangs that looked like she did it herself was neatly combed away.

I started reading a new book at Barnes & Noble. It's called American Gods by Neil Gaiman.

I ended the night with WWE RAW.

"She has to earn the action."

I went to Gymnastics. Gerard was too hung over and wouldn't wake up until after class was over. I practiced one back handspring and spent the rest of class on Thomas flairs.

I had to go to some Cuban restaurant with Anthony and Azlynn afterward. Anthony covered my food since I'll now be his FMA teacher, so I just had whatever he had, which was chicken, rice, beans, and some kind of fried bananas. But I had coffee while he ordered green tea for $2.50 when it was actually the same packet that I buy in boxes. The waitress' name starts with a "D" that I can't remember, but she mentioned her name when she used to be a dancer was "D.D." We get to call her "Miss. D." She's in my database.

Then, after some cranberry juice and rum and sake, I trained Anthony in FMA. Agenda: De-fanging the snake, meeting/following a strike, ranges of largo mano (long) and medio (medium), vertical gunting (scissors), and hubad lubad (to tie and untie). He's already learning a little from someone else, but stuff that I taught him that he hasn't learned yet are the "oh shit" block, helicopter strike, and high thrusts.

Oh yeah, Ezekiel's gay and so are two other guys in our Gymnastics class named Idon and Robert. (The last two used to date each other.)

Also, Anthony's neighbor, who's name is Laura, was in a bathing suit just coming out of the swimming pool when she inquired what we were doing. She's in my database.

The jackoffable chick that helps serve Communion at the afternoon mass in Church was there. Mommy and I ate dinner at Outback Steakhouse. Bullshit: They've started charging $0.99 extra for sweet potato. But the hostess who reminds me of some pornstar was there. She's renewed in my database.

ANTHONY: Don't tell your mom the hostess is jackoffable. Say the hostess has good hospitality skills.

Mistaken Identity

I went to Top Rocking class at the Debbie Reynold's Dance Studio. Apparently, the teacher last week was just a substitute. The one today was the real B-Boy Ynot. That's why there was a class full of people today as opposed to last week when there was only four people. I saw maybe three jackoffable chicks. Self-esteem booster: When Ynot asked if anyone actually works on their legs, only me and maybe three other people raised our hands.

So I've mentioned there's this chick Vicki who used to work at Hot Topic and report to my stalker any sightings of me, but now works at some girly store named Justice right next to Hot Topic and still smiles at me. I've never looked at her twice, especially when she used to dye her hair in different colors. But porn wasn't working and I needed fresh new blood to bust a #3 to. So I randomly busted a #3 to Vicki. Random.

Paco de Pena

I got some gym time in before guitar practice. I'm working on this Pace de Pena song that I started last week. Afterward, I was driving to the mall to carry my guitar around like a chick magnet when I saw that one jackoffable white chick that works at Waba Teriyaki Grill chilling outside on break. Just because I could, I reached down my pants for some drive-by jerking as I drove past her.

I returned to the mall at night. My stalker wasn't working at Hot Topic, so I walked inside to look around. That chick Ciera, whom I'm not attracted to, but once had a dream anyway that she was orally copulating me, was there.

I went back to the gym to finish what I couldn't before guitar practice. Then fired up the porn and busted a #3 to the violin teacher whom I saw last week. Apparently she's releasing an EP. She can hit notes properly, but unfortunately can't sing, if that makes any sense.

1) Product placement of Sam Adams Summer Ale + 2) Tom Felton (Draco Malfoy) = Coolest things about Rise of the Planet of the Apes

I saw Rise of the Planet of the Apes at 1:40PM, then snuck into Cowboys & Aliens at 3:30PM, and finally Horrible Bosses at 5:40PM. The coolest things about the first movie is the product placement of Sam Adams Summer Ale and Tom Felton, a.k.a. Draco Malfoy. Olivia Wilde was jackoffable in the second. The third was a good comedy to calm down.

663.6 calories in 5.82 miles

I had a dream last night that I was back in grade school playing soccer. Samir passed me the ball. But I would waste too much time doing the Undertaker's cut-throat taunt that I would rush to accept the ball and clumsily kick it. But later I would score a gold by accident. End of dreams.

I did an hour on the treadmill at the gym. I haven't done that in a long time. The meter says I burned 663.6 calories over 5.82 miles.

I changed my contacts today.

Mommy brought home some food called Seviche with Mexican flan.

Hit it

I went to the gym.

Mommy and I ate dinner at Rubio's. Fredy and the manager, Robert, were there today. Lizet, whom I've said was more jackoffable with her original black hair color, was there as well. But she's managed to fix her hair where the reddish brown blend better as the original black shows more. She's renewed in the database.

Brian from the gym (not to be confused with Brian, formerly Brian at the GNC) stopped by. Apparently he's a regular as the manager knows his name too. He goes to the 24 Hour Super Sport on Sunset in Hollywood now. Mental note: I need to check out that location as well as the new one in Burbank.

This baby named Maddie (short for Madeline) sat next to us, watching us the whole time as her parents were falling asleep trying to get her to eat her fish tacos.

I was walking back to my car from Barnes & Noble when I saw Johnny and that chick, Lilian, whom he was walking with last Thursday and who thought I was hot, but have to decline after Johnny's story about how she didn't always use condoms and caught some infection once. (See entry 8/5/11.)

As I walked a few steps away, I texted Johnny:

Hit it.

The joke is that Johnny in similar situations had the habit of flinching while the girl next to him, who would be the subject of the text message, would inquire, "Why'd you just flinch?"

He responded:

hahaha

Carlos reactivated his Facebook

The monkeys working at the cable company didn't put up last night's episode of True Blood on HBO On Demand, so I had to look for it illegally online and then pause it when it was time to train Johnny in FMA.

Today's lesson plan: Sumbrada (Fighter Flow Drill), Siniwali (To Weave), Vertical Gunting (Vertical Scissors), and Hubad Lubad (To Tie and Untie).

Plus, Johnny's girlfriend cheated on him, so his grandma bought him some alcohol and he and his friend were drunk all of Saturday.

I ended the night with WWE RAW.

Oh, and Carlos in Nebraska reactivated his Facebook today.

Crepes are back in the buffet at the Hilton

I didn't feel like driving to the beach in Santa Monica for today's special Gymnastics class.

I stopped by the place where I practice guitar. The violin teacher was selling 8x10's of herself. She can sing, but her songs suck. As I've said before, she's plain looking most of the time, but she's a cougar and a musician. She's renewed in the database.

At the mall, Faith was working at Brookstone. She's renewed in the database. My stalker wasn't working at Hot Topic, so I walked inside. I was greeted at the door by that chick Ciera, whom I'm not attracted to, but had a dream anyway that she was orally copulating me. Don't ask why.

The jackoffable chick was helping in handing out Communion at the afternoon mass in Church.

Mommy and I ate dinner at the Hilton. The last time we were there was for mommy's Birthday. I lost count at five plates. The waiter Michael remembered us as always. Highlight: Crepes were finally back for the first time since 2009! (See entry 12/3/09.) The habiscus tea was all right. I almost died trying to finish my last piece of red velvet cake, some German chocolate cake and vanilla ice cream topped with whatever I saw.

I went to the gym late at night: Squats, lat pull downs, rows, pec flies, shoulder flies, and bench presses.

The Tower

Last night, I went to the Borders in Northridge before heading over to Gerard's place around my old stomping grounds of CSUN. Anthony, Ezekiel, and Azlynn were present. Dinner was lasagna, garlic bread, strawberries, blueberries, salad, and some kind of cake. Everyone else had wine. I settled for some kind of Holland beers and Newcastles (which prompted me to drunk text Newcastle fan Michelle in Nebraska). Azlynn's friend Kristen arrived while everyone checked out the pilot episode of Spartacus: Blood and Sand for the first time, of which Azlynn's friend was a fan, so she fit right in. The rest of our playlist was a bunch of Youtube videos (one where Anthony fell for a Thai "girl" ... until it was revealed she was a guy) and then X-Men: First Class. I drove Anthony home ...

RYAN: This is a weird question, but ... Is that a tramp stamp on your back?

The rest of the ride home was a pattern of stuttering, awkward silence, and trying to laugh it off as a response.

I woke up and ate before checking out my first Top Rocking class at the Debbie Reynold's Dance Studio. It was bomb. The teacher revealed he had been drinking all week.

RYAN: I actually wanted to check out this class last week, but I was way too hung over.
YNOT: Come anyway! I'm slurring!

Then I swam in the pool at the gym for the first time in years, realized I almost forgot how to swim, and gassed out after a lap. Some white chick in a black two-piece bathing suit with goggles and a swim cap had a nice ass. Her ass always resurfaced whenever rotating to launch off the wall to swim in the other direction.

Oh yeah, some chick absentmindedly walked into the guys' locker room.

Then I ran down Brand Boulevard with just my swimming trunks and no shirt on with everyone checking me out because I needed to dry up since I forgot a change of clothes!

I met up with Brandon, Mark, Ivan, and Erick at Charles Billiards for UFC 133, rocking my Taylor Swift shirt among a bar full of tough guys. Josselle from high school was there and caught up with me.

MARK: Tap that, bro!
RYAN: It ain't like that.
BRANDON: Make it like that!

I had three cups of my own pitcher of Blue Moon beer. I gave a cup each to Erick and Brandon. Apparently, Brandon's friend Dan who was with us at the last PWG show caught staph infection from punching out someone's teeth while working as a bouncer later that same night. Had he waited a couple more days to see the doctor, the hand would've had to be amputated! I ate 26 wings of the 75 that I was splitting with Mark and Erick.

Later at Tavern on Brand, Erick bought us a tower (bigger than a pitcher) of Sam Adams Summer Ale! The curly-haired, white bartender who seemingly had the least amount of makeup is in my database.

At home, I busted a #3 to said bartender and was so whiskey-dicked that I lost count of how many strokes, but for sure broke my old record and finished randomly to Arlene, whom I last saw at Heather's Birthday party.

Turned down a girl because she didn't use a condom and got an infection

I had a weird dream last night. I was in a hotel where Melanie from college was my roommate and she threw an out of control party. I walked around the lobby and tried calling 911, but they weren't responding. But then Chris Brown ran from my party and into a maze to break down in tears because his girlfriend had sex with someone. It's funny because I think he's a douchebag in real life. End of dreams.

I trained Johnny in FMA today. The agenda: Sumbrada (Fighter flow drill).

Apparently, the girl he was with yesterday, Lillian, thought I was hot.

RYAN: You should fuck her.
JOHNNY: She's annoying!

JOHNNY: I was pissed off and needed to take a walk. She offered to walk with me. But then I just got even more pissed off.

I was going to say that if he didn't hook up with his friend, then I would. But then ...

JOHNNY: She didn't always use condoms and some guy's dick was dirty and she got an infection.

... Nevermind.

JOHNNY: But she thought you were hot.

RYAN: I'm gonna embellish and tell everyone I turned down a girl because she wasn't into condoms.

Mommy made me spare ribs. I watched a little of WWE Smackdown and now it's time to head out to Gerard's shindig with some of our other Gymnastics classmates.

Speaking of Werewolf status, I worked out twice today and had more Wolfpack telepathy going on

I think I had a dream last night that my late dog visited me. End of dreams.

Guitar practice was rescheduled to today at the last minute. I rushed in the gym before heading off to rock in the G major scale and Em scale.

I was carrying my guitar with me around the mall like a chick magnet and in a black tanktop when Johnny, accompanied by some girl, walked up to me.

JOHNNY: I have no phone [right now]. I had a feeling I'd see you here today.

No phone means he resorted to Wolfpack telepathy. Brilliant! We set up training for tomorrow.

I went to the gym late at night to finish what I started earlier. Dennis was there again getting back into the swing of things.

Hump Day ... But I think I'll postpone porn and any related activities for the weekend

I think I had a dream last night that my dad came to visit me. End of dreams.

Faith was working at Brookstone in the mall. She's renewed in the database.

Rice Wine flavored rice

So far, there are only two people who've noticed without me telling them that I cut almost half of my hair - Cousin Andree last Sunday and the security guard at Barnes & Noble today - even though Tito Noel cut my hair almost a month ago. (See entry 7/11/11.)

Dana was working at Lush. It's easier to get a boner when her hair is down. The Adelle look-alike was working at her vendor booth called i Play & Talk. They're both renewed in the database. I finished reading volume two of Green Lantern: The Sinestro Corps War and did some research for my personal statement for Law School, which is about how I'm an alpha male.

Mommy brought home some rice wine flavored rice.

I went to the gym late at night. Dennis - whom used to work at the Glendale Red Robin, but now works at the Simi Valley Red Robin - was there. I haven't seen him in a while.

My Monday mornings are people's Sunday nights

I had a couple of dreams last night. 1) My high school classmate Tony had to recruit backup for a gang rumble. I saw many Asian boys from high school such as Rez, Arnold, and Minh rally up. The rumble taking place was at the mall. But then the opposing gang showed up ... they were chicks. 2) I was back in grade school. Our desks were grouped in fours. To my right was Krixa, Tiffany was to my right facing me, and Cera was in front of me. End of dreams.

I love how Fiona Shaw, the magic-phobic Aunt Petunia in Harry Potter, is now the dark magic wielding witch Marnie in True Blood. I caught last night's episode.

I busted a #3 to the hostess from TGI Friday's yesterday who resembled a young Dawn Marie. (See entry 7/31/11.)

I managed to sneak past my stalker at Hot Topic on the way to Barnes & Noble to read more Green Lantern. Mommy bought me In-N-Out. She says she wasn't hungry because she saw Cousin Janine and Auntie Carrise and they treated her to Panda Express.

Helen was working at Latin Lingo. She waved as I walked by. I waved back. Then I passed behind the wall. But then resumed waving when she was able to see me again. She's back in the database.

I ended the night with WWE RAW before finally starting my personal statement for Law School and nearly finishing it.