I gave a bum standing outside of Shakeys Pizza a dollar as a last ditch effort to be in the universe's good graces. The bum just got out of jail for drinking a Budweiser in public and needed bus money to go to Pasadena.
At the audition the choreography I had to memorize was: 1) I back-spin sweep, he jumps over it. 2) I left and right front snap kick, he blocks each. 3) I right roundhouse, he blocks it. 4) I left roundhouse, he blocks it. 5) Then he left hooks, I block it. 6) He right hooks, I block it. 7) He uppercuts, I block it with a Karate X-block. 8) He connects with a right hook. I sell it (act hurt).
Then do the above choreography again, but switch roles.
Then I had to sell:
- A spin kick by spinning I-don't-know-how-many-times in midair from the impact.
- Getting shot in the stomach and then in the head while my choice of either begging for my life or going out as a hard ass. I went with begging for my life since it was more realistic.
- Getting shot in the shoulder. Here's where I screwed up. I fell to the floor, supporting myself with the same arm in which the shoulder was shot. The director was like, "If you're shot there, you cannot hold yourself up like that."
- Getting stabbed.
The director asked me to show off some Capoeira. I did. Then some other person who works with them, who turned out to also be a Capoerista, volunteered to do Capoeira with me. His name is AJ.
AJ: It's one of those arts where you look like an idiot if you're doing it by yourself.
Good looking out, AJ. So we demonstrated it for them.
AJ's from a Capoeira group whose name I can't pronounce. Anyway, Sam was really lobbying for us to get hired. My Facebook status was updated to:
Just got out of an audition. I need prayers to God, Allah, scientology aliens, baby Jesus, Mary Magdalene, the Boy Who Lived, that lion from Narnia, and anything else out there, that I get a callback! Thanks.
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