Punish myself at the gym for slacking

I did my 20th day of legs, 20th day of upper body push muscles, 20th day of abs, and 30 minutes of cardio at the gym. Yup, had to punish myself for slacking. Then busted a #3 to Nicole from David's Birthday at the Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill last Sunday. On, and on the season finale of WWE NXT, Kaval (whom I've watched wrestle live as Low Ki for the past few years) became WWE's next break-out star.

White cord

Capoeira class today: Andres, Mexican Jesse, Marco, Slim, Carlito, Kevin, Diana, little kids, and I.

KEVIN: [Walking in at 6:00PM] This class starts at 6, right?
RYAN: No, 5:30.

Diana walked in an hour late and I got to give her the lecture that she usually gives me when I walk in 30 minutes late. Only drill today was: (With partner in arms-extended pushup position) Piso Mojado (roundhouse followed by spin kick) over partner, rasteira (sweep) to partner's hand, bouncing pushups backwards underneath partner, cabecada (headbutt) to partner's ribs, meia lua (low spin kick) into skipping over partner.

Other than that, there was some new very ADHD kid that everyone nicknamed Kiebler. Andres gave us white cords (like belts). And Kevin says that Florentine Gardens plays trance on Thursday nights. We'll have to check that out sometime.

Busted a #3 to my Geography professor for the first time since college

Today was rockstar Dave's Birthday. Went to church. Then went to Red Robin. Jazz was working. There was an empty table among the ones she was serving. I went for it ... and cockblock! The cockblocking hostess sat me in the corner in the other room!

Then Kenny, my college roommate Dewitt's friend, whom I haven't seen in years was sat at the table next to me. He had his girlfriend with him. It was fucked up because I thought his girlfriend was his mom at first. Glad I didn't say it out loud.

KENNY: What was your name again.
RYAN: Jacob.
KENNY: Right! I knew that!
RYAN: No, it's Ryan.
KENNY: Oh, right, well, you look like that Jacob kid from Twilight.

They were shopping for his girlfriend's new clothes because Kenny shrunk them in the laundry.

KENNY: I was just doing the laundry like how Ryan taught me at the dorms!

While I was home alone, I resumed last night's to-do list of chicks to bust a #3 to and finally got to Erica. Then randomly remembered my Geography professor from CSUN, Meredith Leonard, and busted a #3 to her as well.

I went to Dave's Birthday at Hollywood Studio Bar and Grill. It was some kind of kareoke night. Only 2 jackoffable chicks:

• Some redhead whom I think they called Nicole. She wore all black and kind of resembled the secretary at CSUN's film department, whom I've also busted a #3 to. She wasn't necessarily obese, but bigger than Kelly Clarkson with thick thighs. She sang Bryan Adams' Summer of '69.
• A brunette who was the only bad singer, but so bad that I couldn't even make out what she was singing. She had the smallest tattoo on her shoulder, as if she was too scared to get a tattoo, but needed it to look "cool," like a poser. I want to have anger masturbation (as opposed to anger sex) with her as punishment for being a poser.

Dear Penis: You're a champ. Dear God: Enough cockblocking with Jazz already!

Jazz was working at the Red Robin. But I noticed that even though the tables in the area she was serving were empty, people weren't necessarily being sat at them. I scouted to analyze the pattern: New guests were sat somewhere else, guests that came in from the furthest entrance were sat at one of her tables, blah, blah, blah ...

MATT: (On the phone) So what's the situation?
RYAN: A new group just came in, but they were sat somewhere else. I can't dissect their rotation pattern.

Georgia and Leah were working at Hot Topic. If only this was a cheasy porn flick, I would've vented to them at how I couldn't figure out how to get sat at one of Jazz's tables, they would've tried to make me feel better until the cheasy dialogue finally took us to the back room and bow chicka wow wow. But nooo. Real life sucks.

I scouted cousin Janine's facebook (she doesn't know I have a facebook) to find out the names of the 5 jackoffable chicks at her party so I can scream them out later. The blond chick with glasses who sang Mariah Carey's Hero at their graduation is Kayla. The one doing the "jerk" dance (plagiarism of "Roger Rabbit) barefoot is Alina. We already knew the last one to leave is named Erica. But still working on the tall one and the cowgirl boots chick. (I hate private profiles with a passion!)

I did my 20th day of upper body pull muscles and 19 day of abs at the gym. Went home. Fired up the porn. Busted a #3 to Alina. Looked for the UFC 118 fights online to allow myself to reload. Tried to bust a #3 the rest, but finished before I could get to Erica. Had to save her for tomorrow because I was too tired. But Penis, you're a champ!

Janine's 18th BDay party

Went to guitar practice and then it was time for cousin Janine's 18th BDay party. I had to give her a rose and then dance with her for a few seconds.

So when Janine's friends/classmates were all dancing, cousin Mark was trying to egg cousin Kristian on to hit them up. Likewise, cousin-in-law Maricel was telling me the same thing.

RYAN: I think it's illegal.
MARICEL: They're 18! Some of them.

Anyway, 5 of them youngins in the database:

• This chick whom I recognized came to my house 2 years ago when I hosted Janine's Sweet 16th Birthday party. Back then, she had dark blond hair and was the only jackoffable guest. Today, she's grown up to be even more jackoffable and has light brown hair. She was the only one wearing cowgirl boots.
• A blond chick (I think the only blonde there) wearing glasses whom I recognized as the chick who sang Mariah Carey's Hero at their high school graduation.
• A chick who was the tallest person in the entire party. She had long, reddish brown hair and I could almost see her panties under her short skirt.
• Chick with short brown hair and short skirt. There was something about the way she did this dance called the "jerk" (which I still think is plagiarized from the "Roger Rabbit) while barefoot that I found jackoffable.
• Some wavy, black-haired chick they called Erica who was the last to leave.

Anyway, I managed to make the tall chick laugh when I drunkenly cut in while she and cousin Janine were talking just to announce I was drunk. Score! Later, I was so bored (and drunk) that I violated my rule about not busting a #3 in public places when I went to the upstairs restroom that no one was using and busted a #3 to the tall chick.

I pray that ...

I had to take extra recovery time from the gym, but I made up for it today when I did my 19th day of legs, 19th day of upperbody push muscles, and 18th day of abs.

I watched the final episode of Degrassi: The Boiling Point, which is just the subtitle for this season's first 24 episodes out of it's record total of 48 episodes. It had everything: Oral sex, the new transgender character, attempted murder, police locking down the school, and Holly J (Charlotte Arnold) trying to striptease. Charlotte Arnold is now in the database. And now, withdrawals as Degrassi is on mid-season hiatus.

I went to Costco to buy water. Damn I feel like such a grownup!

Dinner was Thai BBQ with Thai Iced Tea.

Michelle's car was stolen and lit on fire in Nebraska. I pray that whoever did it overdoses on whatever they were on, gets ass-raped by multiple ass-rapists while passed out, contracting STDs that make their genitalia burn so bad that they desperately burn off their genitalia. Then when they try to put a gun to their head, because they can't live without their genitalia, and pull the trigger a flag that says, "Burn!" (instead of the traditional "Bang!") pops out. Amen.

Jailbreak

Today's Capoeira class: Andres, Mexican Jesse, Carlito, Slim, Diana, and the little kids. But it was one of those Muay Thai/Brazilian Jujitsu (BJJ) days. As always, for my own boring reference so I don't forget:

• 1st drill: Jab, cross, shield (shin block), roundhouse. Note: Make sure shield is 45 degrees and within the elbows.
• 2nd drill: (With Carlito as my partner) Push partner around, roundhouse them while they shield.
• 3rd drill: Flinch a roundhouse attempt, partner shields, inside kick to partner's shield leg (above the knee, below the groin), cross.
• 4th drill: Roundhouses to inside and outside of partner's lead leg. Switch stance. Repeat. Parnter switches stance. Repeat.
• New BJJ escape: The Jailbreak. When opponent has side control, I bend leg upward to get my foot into opponent's hip, and push to create enough space to get opponent into at least half guard.
• Armbar from side control #1: I attack opponent's arm that's underneath my abs, my leg nearest to opponent's head goes over opponent's throat (while keeping my other knee up), and I squeeze my knees together while leaning back into an arm bar.
• Armbar from side control #2: I attack opponent's arm that's closest to my head, my leg nearest to opponent's head goes over opponent's throat (while keeping my other knee up), I pivot into a mirror image of my previous position (my other leg is now over opponent's throat and other knee is now up), and I squeeze my knees together while leaning back into an armbar.
• A base exercise: Try to off-balance partner while partner tries to maintain position on all fours (base).

Dinner was sweet & sour pork and mongolian beef from China Inn. Fortune cookie says:

Avoid unchallenging occupations - They waste your talents.

Supernaturally focused Tuesday = Blue balls. No, really!

I found some of Heather's leftover stuff that she gave me back in May to help me study for the LSAT. I got a lot of stuff done as I was supernaturally focused for the whole day. But one serious side effect: You cannot get an erection! I tried to bust a #3 for an hour - I repeat, an hour - and it just was not working at all. I had probably sweat off a few pounds in water weight by the time I gave up. So then I directed my supernatural focus to cleaning the house.

Chick kicked me in the face. Was I a gentleman about it? Well ...

Did my 19th day of upperbody pull muscles and 17th day of abs at the gym. Yay. Getting close. After every 21 days of a regiment, I switch to a new regiment (because supposedly it takes 21 days to make a habit, but you don't want your body becoming used to your workouts or else they will no longer have much effect).

Capoeria class: Andres, Mexican Jesse, Carlito, Marko, Slim, Louis, Diana, and the little kids. No new moves. We "big kids" were put in our own roda (circle) where we had to drill countering a martelo (roundhouse) with either a rasteira (sweep) or takedown.

Then we played. Highlight: Despite seeing Diana's kick coming, I had a deer-in-the-headlights moment where I ended up taking her kick to my face. Then I became bi-polar as I let it slide at first, but when I saw an opening I killed her with 3 consecutive kicks before her brother Louis had to bail her out.

I visited Tiwat still on house arrest. Had some 90s nostalgia as we watched Disney's TaleSpin.

TIWAT: (Referring to Diana kicking me in the face) Was she at least cute?
RYAN: She's underage.
TIWAT: OK, that emasculating.
RYAN: But then I kicked her ass.
TIWAT: Typical Ryan.

Chicken Madeira and Steak Diane

Cousin Andree in Las Vegas drove home last night as she's apparently on vacation. At first she asked if she could sleep over, which would've threatened my busting a #3 sessions, but then she decided to tough it out and drive straight home.

After church, I went to Matt's to watch the infamous Paul London and Brian Kendrick shoot interview.

While home alone later, I busted a #3 again to Heather from high school. My mommy and I ate dinner at Cheesecake Factory.

I was about to partake in beer drinking, but came to my senses and went to the gym - Whoa, who the hell said that?!

Guitar practice was rescheduled from yesterday to today. Vahik broke his 4th string/D string while playing.

At Hot Topic, the chick with the snakebites on her lip was there. She spoke to me to advertise something on sale, but I wasn't paying attention as I was storing her voice as audio in my database. Near the bottom of her short shorts, her name tag displayed her name "Leah." Now I can scream it out.

I did my 18th day of legs and 18th day of upperbody push muscles at the gym.

While Facebooking, I randomly remembered from high school: Jessica (who's twin sister Jennifer once had a crush on me) and Heather (not to be confused with the homie Heather from Anaheim). Busted a #3 to them.

That's it. God's entertainment really is cockblocking me. Oh, and Paul London again.

Mommy and I ate at Rubio's.

So last Friday, I went to eat at Red Robin because after much scouting I had determined that Jazz worked on Friday nights. BUT she wasn't working last Friday when I ate there. So I ate dinner at home and had no intention of trying again tonight ... And what do you know? Yup, you guessed it. Jazz was working tonight (BUT not last Friday when I actually ate there).

And then Paul London came down the escalators and we talked again. He had been checking out chicks at Target. His cameraman, Raven, for his youtube show was with him and we goofed around a bit for his camera.

At Hot Topic, Georgia (the substitute in my database) was there. Oh what the heck, she's renewed in my database as well even though Jazz was working tonight.

Went home and busted a #3.

Scott Pilgrim ruled, Inception was NOT complicated, and The Expendables didn't need a plot with all those action stars in 1 movie

Guro and I had Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training at 10:30AM. Drills:

• Double stick sinawali (weaving).
• Countering a backfist #1: backhand parry into smack across the neck into backfist to the neck (all with same hand).
• Countering a backfist #2: Backhand parry into smack across the neck into elbow-strike (with other arm) into pushing the forehead down to knee-strike the back of the head.
• Countering a backfist #3: Same as above, but pushing the forehead down to (instead of the knee-strike) slip other arm underneath to cradle the head, step in, takedown, and armbar with shin across the face.
• Countering a backfist #4: Backhand parry into smack across the neck into elbow-strike (with other arm), smacking hand maintains chin control while stepping around like a Samba turn to reverse cradle the head, and either 1) smash the head down onto knee or 2) step in and takedown.

Then went to the AMC in Burbank to watch Scott Pilgrim vs. the World at 4:10PM, snuck into Inception at 6:50PM, and The Expendables at 9:10PM. The Expendables ended up starting at around 10:00PM as screen projectionists must've really been sleeping on the job. I was sitting next to a nice couple in which the guy looked too old for the jackoffable chick. She had brown hair and a girl-next-door type of face. As the guy left to complain about the film's lateness ...

RYAN: So I'm having a flashback. I used to work at a movie theater. And whenever projectionists lost track of time, it was because they were having sex in the booths.
JACKOFFABLE CHICK: Hmmm ... That must've been why it was still pitch black when we walked in.

Planche pushups

I did 30 minutes of cardio at the gym. Ditched Capoeira training because I accidentally bruised my knee when I fell on it while training myself to do planche pushups. The following video describes planche pushups:



Dinner was a Philly cheese steak, sun chips, and horchata from Subway.

I've missed horchata

I did my 17th day of legs (realizing I was supposed to do them last night instead of upperbody push muscles), 18th day of upperbody pull muscles, 16th day of abs (though I had to modify them to just 2 sets each of heavier weight), and 30 minutes of cardio at the gym. I had a tuna sandwich, sun chips and horchata from Subway for dinner. Wow, I've missed horchata.

"Now, time for the weather. Tiffany?"

My favorite wrestler Bryan Danielson was rehired by the WWE and made his surprise at last night's PPV.

Typical Monday morning routine: I watched last night's True Blood on demand. God I love the boobage on this show.

Capoeira class today: the usual, except without the dog Naya, plus Stephanie (who's absent during the school year while she's at UCLA). Apparently, they didn't do their usual calisthenics under the sun. I snuck in while they were stretching. My usual boring reference so I don't forget.

• 1st two drills: Martelo do chao (roundhouse launched from the floor) from negativa (recovery) and then from lunge position, but in each drill preceeded by armada (spin kick).
• 3rd drill: (Might be hard to explain, but ...) Quexiada (ax kick), reverse negativa role, rear foot slides over and under front leg into another negativa, then into a perpendicular negativa.

I did my 17th day of upper body push muscles at the gym.

Seriously? 3 straight days of cockblock?

Went to church and then finished reading Imperial Bedrooms at Barnes & Noble. What a fucked up ending.

There was this white chick sitting outside the mall, smoking and talking on her phone. Her hair was up and the kind of brown where it used to be blond. She had a blue top that I thought was black at first, black pants, and weird heels. I don't like smoker's breath, but I guess I can do her from behind in my database so that I don't have to deal with it.

Oh, and I was casually passing by Red Robin on the way to my car. I haven't seen Jazz worked on Sunday in a while. And since she was working last night, I would have never thought she'd work a day shift today, but ... Yup, you guessed it. She was working. But I didn't bother trying to dress up nice. Yup, God really loves cockblocking me.

I did my 17th day of upperbody pull muscles, but had to modify it to get out sooner. That weird kid Emmanuel was on a treadmill and screamed like an idiot when he survived (keeping in mind he never runs). Mommy and I ate dinner at Elephant Bar.

Then I went back to the gym to do my 15th day of abs. A group of teenagers were trying to breakdance, but couldn't. I showed them up in my own corner as I busted moves they couldn't. Then I noticed some guy shadow-boxing. I asked him to show me how to bob-and-weave. His name's Marlon.

God must really love cockblocking me

I met with Matt to discuss a screenplay that we're working on. We even caught some Ninja Warrior on G4. We pretty much have the script down.

Passing by the Red Robin ... Guess what? Even though she hasn't been working Saturday nights, but has been working Friday nights, which is why I ate there last night only for her not to be working ... Yup, you guessed it. Jazz was working. But I had already eaten dinner. God must really love cockblocking me. A couple new things: 1) She had some new, really shiny earings. 2) Her bangs that naturally fall to the left were combed to the right.

There was another new chick at Hot Topic. Her face was barely OK, still better than a butterface, but had the shortest jean shorts, just asking for me to pull down my pants. If only this was some porn flick, she would've noticed my boner, made up some cheesy dialogue even if it was something as simple as, "I have really short shorts. Do you wanna go into the backroom with me?" and bow chicka wow wow.

I resumed reading Imperial Bedrooms at Barnes & Noble. Almost done. Then David came by with his pitbull, Mojo. I watched David manhandle Mojo to stop him from attacking other dogs. Later, Mojo barked at me when I was laughing at his boner. Went home, fired up the porn, and busted a #3.

Friday the 13th in August = Unlucky cockblock

I did my 16th day of upper body push muscles and 14 day of abs at the gym before guitar practice. And then it was time ...

... To get cockblocked again! So after scouting Red Robin and seeing Jazz work on Friday nights, it was the plan since last week to eat there tonight and cross my fingers again that I'd get her as a waitress so I can talk to her. Guess what? She wasn't working tonight! God must love me getting cockblocked.

I passed by Hot Topic. There's this new chick - don't know her name - with snakebites on her lower lip who I'll be promoting in my database as the substitute for Georgia, who in turn was the substitute for Danielle (who quit last winter), who in turn was the substitute to hold me over if Jazz wasn't working at Red Robin that night. Went home, fired up the porn, and started busting a #3 to chick with snakebites, but ended up finishing to Georgia.

I need prayers to God, Allah, scientology aliens, baby Jesus, Mary Magdalene, the Boy Who Lived, that lion from Narnia ...

It was me who had to cancel on Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training this morning instead of Guro for a change because I had to go to that audition that stunt coordinator Sam invited me to yesterday.

I gave a bum standing outside of Shakeys Pizza a dollar as a last ditch effort to be in the universe's good graces. The bum just got out of jail for drinking a Budweiser in public and needed bus money to go to Pasadena.

At the audition the choreography I had to memorize was: 1) I back-spin sweep, he jumps over it. 2) I left and right front snap kick, he blocks each. 3) I right roundhouse, he blocks it. 4) I left roundhouse, he blocks it. 5) Then he left hooks, I block it. 6) He right hooks, I block it. 7) He uppercuts, I block it with a Karate X-block. 8) He connects with a right hook. I sell it (act hurt).

Then do the above choreography again, but switch roles.

Then I had to sell:

• A spin kick by spinning I-don't-know-how-many-times in midair from the impact.
• Getting shot in the stomach and then in the head while my choice of either begging for my life or going out as a hard ass. I went with begging for my life since it was more realistic.
• Getting shot in the shoulder. Here's where I screwed up. I fell to the floor, supporting myself with the same arm in which the shoulder was shot. The director was like, "If you're shot there, you cannot hold yourself up like that."
• Getting stabbed.

The director asked me to show off some Capoeira. I did. Then some other person who works with them, who turned out to also be a Capoerista, volunteered to do Capoeira with me. His name is AJ.

AJ: It's one of those arts where you look like an idiot if you're doing it by yourself.

Good looking out, AJ. So we demonstrated it for them.

AJ's from a Capoeira group whose name I can't pronounce. Anyway, Sam was really lobbying for us to get hired. My Facebook status was updated to:

Just got out of an audition. I need prayers to God, Allah, scientology aliens, baby Jesus, Mary Magdalene, the Boy Who Lived, that lion from Narnia, and anything else out there, that I get a callback! Thanks.

Natasha Bedingfield ... But I played it cool, walked by her singing, and read Imperial Bedrooms

I did my 16th day of leg muscles at the gym. Coincidentally, former pro-wrestler Hook Bomberry shared on Facebook that he too was doing leg day at the gym. He joked of the coincidence that we're "kindred spirits."

But at the gym, I saw Sam, who I've worked with in the film X-Kids. He's working on a new film, looking for stuntmen, and asked me to come to the audition tomorrow morning.

I went to the Barnes & Noble at the Americana again to continue reading Imperial Bedrooms. Natasha Bedingfield was performing at the front. I played it cool and went straight to reading my book. When I was done for the night, I walked out to her performing her hit song Unwritten.

Imperial Bedrooms

I did my 16th day of upper body pull muscles and 13th day of abs at the gym. I then started reading Bret Easton Ellis' recent novel Imperial Bedrooms, FINALLY a sequel to his 1985 novel Less Than Zero, at Barnes & Noble because I'm too cheep to buy it and take it home. Plus, I need to know if it's good first. And the nerdy, leisure-reading Ryan returns!

... and in the dream I had to act in a scene that I didn't want to do, so I forced myself to wake up

I watched last night's True Blood on demand. It ended with Anna Paquin (also Rogue from the X-Men trilogy) and her vampire boyfriend having furious make-up sex.

I randomly remembered that I had a dream last week where I was having sex with Heather's sister Naomi. I found out that the other chick at Brandon's place last Saturday whose name I couldn't remember is named Shannon. Busted a #3 again to Shannon.

Capoeira class today: Andres, Mexican Jesse, Louis, Diana, Marko, Slim, Carlito, the dog Naya, the little kids, and I. And for my own boring reference as usual so I don't forget:

• 1st drill: Martelo (roundhouse) to 1st kicking pad/punching bag, pivot to face 2nd pad behind and martelo, pivot to face 1st pad and ganjo (roundhouse that comes back as a hook), martelo with lead foot, pivot to face 2nd pad and repeat last two kicks.
• Then the odd man out delivers 30 punches to the abs with Boxing gloves on, throws down the gloves, and goes for a wrestling style takedown. As the odd man out, I took down (practically slammed) Marko, and almost took down Diana and Jesse. When it was my turn, Jesse tried to get my back, Brazilian Jujitsu (BJJ) style, as a last resort.
• 2nd drill: Face the kicking pads: Esquiva (dodge) like a Boxing duck, ponteira (front kick) with lead foot, pisau mojado (spinning back kick). Face the punching pads: Straight palm, straight palm, straight palm, martelo, ganjo, cabecada (headbutt).
• 1st game in the roda (circle of people): Only ginga (sway), but with lots of expression, and au (cartwheel) allowed.
• 2nd game: Rasteiras (sweeps), cabecadas, and taps to the forehead allowed.
• 3rd game: Anything allowed. I nearly took Jesse's back with a pasage (maneuver to rear). Andres would later tell me in front of everyone, "Good job today."

Mommy brought sweet & sour pork and kung pao chicken from China Inn for dinner. Ended the day with Degrassi, the Teen Choice Awards, and WWE RAW

I had a dream where I became aware that it was a dream ...

I was supposed to arrive at Martha and Paul's place at 8:00AM to carpool with them to their band's performance at a car show in San Fernando High School. But after experiencing insomnia, I had to cancel on them.

So for the last I-don't-know-how-many-months, the Kelly Clarkson album that Carlos burned for me has been on loop in my car's radio (though I've occasionally played the Lady Sovereign album, also burned for me by Carlos). But today, I finally listened to the radio stations. And I screamed out loud and sang along to Taylor Swift's latest single Mine.

I had the house to myself when my mommy left for church. Sweet. I fired up the porn. Then my mommy told me to make an errand. Crap. I drove Fast and Furious style so that I can make it back in time, finish watching the porn, and bust a #3 to that chick Destiny from last night, all before my mommy came home. Did I make it? Yes I did!

While eating dinner at Zono Sushi, there was some 90s nostalgia when their sound system started playing Hanson's MMMBop and the Spice Girls' 2 Become 1.

I hope it was just cameltoe because I had already put her in my database

I did my 15th day of upper body push muscles and 12th day of abs at the gym.

Then went to Brandon's new place in Simi Valley for UFC 117. His usual guests were there. Morgan and Hasel have moved to the Bay area. Their old roommate Matt found a place to himself. Good news: Brandon has finally come around to Sam Adams Cherry Wheat as he asked me to bring some. Bad news: Some old douchbag backed up the line in the "Express Lane" as he kept arguing about his coupons.

There were two jackoffable girls there. One was brown-haired with cottage cheese thighs and short shorts. Can't remember her name, though.

ALLEN: Does she look like she has a penis to you?

I looked. I hope it was just cameltoe because I had already put her in my database. The other was her friend named Destiny. Destiny had black wavy and wore mostly black. In my database as well.

By the way, sour straws are addicting. I took home a Corona, fired up the porn, and had a threesome in my database to Destiny and the other chick.

Cockblocked by Thai Barbeque

I skipped going to the gym today because my back was still sore from yesterday.

I was planning to eat dinner at Red Robin. But when I came home from guitar practice, I found some Thai BBQ waiting for me. Uh oh. I planned to eat just a little Thai BBQ. That didn't happen. I accidentally finished all of it ...

Jazz was working at Red Robin. And I was still too full to eat. Cockblock! By Thai BBQ! I renewed her in my database, though.

I fired up the porn. While Facebooking, I randomly remembered Mandy, who lived down the hall from me in the dorms during college. I busted a #3 to her. This is embarrassing, but ... Surprisingly, I couldn't get it as hard as usual. Uh oh. The last time I had these problems was back in 2004 because I was overdoing it. I actually had to quit masturbation for a while just to refresh my hardness. Don't tell me this is another one of those times!

Also, Carlos IMed me on Facebook. He has potentially good news. But it's a secret.

Forgot my scrunchie at the gym in the morning, found it when I returned at night

I did my 14th day of upper body pull muscles at the gym. Watched my mommy cook sinigang salmon (a Filipino dish). I think I got it down. Then returned to the gym to do my 15th day of legs and 11th day of abs.

Yesterday, scientist announced the Triceratops never existed

Capoeira today was another break from Capoeira and instead another Muay Thai day and a return to Brazilian Jujitsu (BJJ). Those present: Andres, Brazilian Jesse, Kevin, Marco, Slim, Carlito, Louis, Diana, Andres' nephew Devin, the dog Naya, and a whole bunch of little kids. We warmed up with soccer.

• 1st combo drilled: Jab, cross, hook. Partner roundhouses. Puncher blocks with a shield (shin raised).
• 2nd combo drilled: Jab, cross, hook, (with A-frame clinch) knee, knee (same side), knee (same side), roundhouse, roundhouse (same side).
• 3rd combo drilled: Same as above, but A-frame clinch pushes after each knee.
• 4th combo drilled: Jab, cross, cross, previous cross turns into elbow strike, (with A-frame clinch) knee, knee (same side), knee (same side), roundhouse, roundhouse (same side).

Then BJJ:

• Reviewed the armbar.
• Reviewed the Triangle choke, which I was always unclear with: From the guard (legs around opponent), 1) control one of opponent's wrist, 2) nearest leg slips under controlled arm and behind opponent's neck (bite), 3) free hand grabs foot behind opponent's neck, 4) extend controlled arm to tighten legs' grip to choke opponent.

Then a BJJ match to demonstrate to the children. Kevin volunteered. I had a "whatever" attitude about it, so Andres picked me. Basically, it was a back-and-forth match. Kevin got side control first. Every time I countered into side control or got the full mount, I gave a thumbs up at everyone for comic relief. Kevin went for a kimura (key lock). I went for an armbar. Time ran out. I won by points.

Ended with a Capoeira game. Andres announced a potluck party this Friday at Diana's (and Louis') place, but embarrassingly blanked out on Louis' name. Ha!

ANDRES: If you're gonna bring something, bring something healthy like fruit, salad --
RYAN: Beer?
[Andres rolls his eyes and tries to sucker kick me!]

RYAN: Can you bench press a Triceratops?
LOUIS: I was bench pressing four Triceratops last night!
RYAN: Ha! Bullshit 'cause scientists announced yesterday the Triceratops never existed!
KEVIN: What?!

And all hell broke lose regarding scientists' discovery.

Avocado pizza

I did my 14th day of legs and 10 day of abs at the gym. I got to take a nap for extra recovery. Mommy brought home some sandwich and an avocado pizza from some place called Mario's. Returned to the gym to do my 14th day of upper body push muscles. Wow that felt great.

I never found Rachel Evan Wood jackoffable until True Blood

Started the morning with last night's new True Blood on demand.

Capoeira today: Andres, the two Jesses, Kevin, Louis, Diana, Slim, Marko, Naya (the dog), and a whole bunch of kids. Brazilian Jesse didn't train, though, because he was sick from all the toxins sitting in front of a bonfire.

For my own boring reference, combos drilled (kept very basic for the beginners):

• Step across to fake a meia lua de compasso (low spin kick), rewind for esquiva (dodge), lunge, negativa (recover) to split open, sway to recover.
• Lunge, negativa role (recover), esquiva.
• Step across to fake a meia lua de compasso, rewind for esquiva, lunge, negativa role, au (cartwheel), pasage (cut the angle).

Ended the night with some new Degrassi and WWE RAW.

I finally got to talk to Brian (formerly Brian at the GNC). He hasn't been picking up his phone for anyone. He filled me in on quitting GNC. Kevin (the GNC boss) forgot to put stuff in his bag, but ripped on Brian for it. Then Brian had two seizures where he supposedly got hostile with the ambulance and nurses, but has no memory of it because he blacked out. Cool.

Paul London at my gym

I did both my 13th day of upper body push muscles and 13th day of upper body pull muscles, but modified again like I did last Wednesday to finish sooner. And then my 9th day of abs.

And then pro wrestler Paul London (formerly of WWE, currently in PWG) walked by me. We talked.

PAUL: Yeah, I was at the other 24 Hour Fitness, I was looking for this pool that everyone's talking about, and they told me it was here up the street.

Ha. He was so lost. Apparently, he just moved here.

PAUL: If you ever wanna waste some time and kill some brain cells, check out youtube.com back slash onthebearskinrug.

Then my mommy and I ate dinner at Acapulco. When I found out my dinner was 1200 calories, I went back to the gym to do 30 minutes of cardio.