When will the cockblock end?

Damn it, Red Robin's killing me with these schedule changes! Just last week, Jazz was working both Friday and Saturday night. I couldn't come last night because I was at PWG. But when I showed up tonight ... again, cockblock! She wasn't there, unless I just missed her since I showed up late due to catching up on Degrassi reruns (since airing a new episode every weekday now makes it harder to keep up).

Oh, and I had a Chili Chili Cheeseburger with the usual Freckled Lemonade, but garlic parmesan fries must now be specifically requested. Must be a budget cut.

At the Americana, I saw David from Bartending class who just happened to be walking Mojo the pitbull. I think he'll be adopting that dog for himself. We had to stop Mojo from attacking puppies. But he gets along with humans. A cop walked up to us and made a good point ...

COP: You think you're the one training him (Mojo), but really he's training you. You have to be aware at all times to keep him out of trouble because that dog's got power. I've seen a dog like that jump a fence!

Went home, fired up the porn, and erased by blue ball sorrows by busting a #3.

Deadlift on tap

As soon as I got out of guitar practice, I picked up Matt to go to Pro Wrestling Guerrilla's (PWG) 7th anniversary show. Accidentally got lost, but it was a worthwhile detour through Griffith Park.

This was the 1st time they ever had to turn people away due to the Legion Hall in Reseda being at maximum capacity with 700+ people. Caesar, Matt and I were 3 of the last people allowed inside. Chad, who bought his presale ticket online, was allowed inside early and saving our seats, literally risking getting jumped by people who wanted those empty seats. I immediately bought 2 pitchers of some new beer called Deadlift on tap to calm Chad's nerves.

RYAN: (Regarding texting Chad about the chick we both bust a #3 to) Matt was like, "I'll laugh if his wife reads one of those texts."
CHAD: That's what I was saying! Everytime you text me PWG results, I always gotta delete that shit in case my wife finds it 'cause you always bring up the chick we both jack off to! (At Matt) Talk some sense into this guy!

Later, when the chick passed by us ...

CHAD: Isn't that her?
RYAN: Yeah. (At Matt) What do you think?
MATT: Pour me another one and I'll let you know.
[I pour him another cup]
MATT: [Drinks it and looks at her] Yeah, I'd hit it.

• The usual bartenders - Lisa and the asian chick that Brandon busts a 3# to - weren't there tonight. Cockblock!
• Samantha sat with the group again that includes the jackoffable chick who always wears the flower in her ear. Database!
• In light of Samantha recently getting dumped, we brought up Alanis Morissette's You Oughta Know and how I used to freestyle rap over it and dedicate it to bitches.
• Brandon, probably drunkenly passed out too early again, no-showed again.
• On the way to Norm's afterward, I pulled over for Matt to throw up.
• At Norm's, Matt puked in the restroom the whole time and I ended up eating sirloin steak, scrambled eggs, hash browns, pancakes, and drinking coffee all by myself.

Got home, fired up the porn, and busted a #3 while still on whiskey dick.

At the UFC gym

I did my 13th day of leg muscles and 8th day of abs at the gym.

I showed up to the UFC gym in Rosemead for Guro's Close Quarter Combat (CQC) class. Here's the new plan: Guro has no time for our sessions anymore since he got a job training Law Enforcement. So he's trying to get me into his CQC class for Law Enforcement only. The problem is that cops don't like training with civilians. So Guro will loophole it by explaining that I'll be "working in Law" since I'm trying to get into law school. Plus, I now have to work in Public Safety just in case.

Anyway, Guro didn't show up. I did some cardio on the elliptical trainer and a bunch of pull ups and chin ups and other variations to kill time before the UFC gym said they couldn't get a hold of him. Later, Guro texted me that his roommate Cynthia got hit by a car, so he was in the Emergency Room the whole time.

Steak burrito > Capoeira training (at least for today)

I did both my 12th day of upper body push muscles and 12th day of upper body pull muscles at the gym. But to get out sooner, I modified it to 2 sets per exercise, the 2nd set heavier than usual, and slower negatives. It was David's idea.

I was getting ready to go to Capoeira practice when my mommy called me to eat with her at Rubio's. I felt like eating a steak burrito instead of training.

Ended the night with an all new episode of Degrassi. Whoever is playing K.C. Guthrie's mom is one jackoffable MILF!

Alcohol on a Tuesday

I found an empty bottle of Kahlua, filled it up with water and practiced my shot-pouring technique. I did 30 minutes of cardio at the gym.

Matt and I met up to talk about our screenplay.

I showed up to my 6:00PM Bartending class. I could've done better on my recipes exam. But I passed my Serving Alcohol Responsibly (SAR) exam! It was just the teacher and I alone in the classroom waiting for David because he had to come late at 8:30PM. I was practicing my shot-pouring some more when David arrived. But he instead worked out an arrangement to take the exams at another time.

DAVID: (At me) You ready to go party?
TEACHER: You mean "practice some more!" Are you guys really practicing or just partying?
BOTH OF US: Both!

David and I tried IHOP, but they were closed for remodeling. Blue balls! Then a place called Troy's, but they stopped serving omelettes after noon. Blue balls again! We settle for Denny's. The waitress was this chick named Lorena who's been working there since I was in college. She was flirty back then, but has become jaded. She's still in my database though.

Then met up with bartending classmate Eveline at a bar called Capri. Her sister Caroline has cracked ribs. Eveline bought us drinks. Eveline shared their dad died 10 years ago and this was her first time studying for an exam.

48 new episodes of Degrassi for this season

What a surprise, Guro actually held Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training this morning for the 1st time since the beginning of the month. It was mostly about defending myself while on my back and someone trying to beat me down with a stick. Oh, and workers cleared and cut the trees in the area we were training in afterward. Ouch. Every tree hugger's nightmare.

I went to Capoeira training. Lots of new people. Kevin's back. Haven't seen him since last February. He got into a car accident and noticeably lost about 30 lbs.

• Combo drilled: Meia lua de frente (front arch kick), quexiada (ax kick), cadera (chair), armada (spin kick), esquiva (dodge), meia lua de compasso (low spin kick).
• Then a 3-person drill, which we rarely do.
• Then another 3-person drill.
• We divided into teams with the two Jesses as team captains. I was on Mexican Jesse's team.
• We were playing for points. But the little kids could earn points for practically doing anything whereas we "big boys" had to do fancy shit.
• 1) My team was already outnumbered. 2) The other team had more little kids. Yeah, we lost.

Apparently, Degrassi (which has 48 episodes for their 10th season!) changed its format to airing a new episode everyday for the first 24 episodes and the remaining 24 episodes once a week.

Bought some jeans shorts on clearance

I overslept and missed church at noon ... and my mommy caught me not going. So she dragged me with her to the afternoon mass. But we ate dinner at Granville before going. And afterward, I got to buy some jeans shorts on clearance, jean shorts being Twilight werewolf status these days. I ended the night with an In-N-Out double double animal and protein style with grilled onions.

Some Craiglist chicks are legit

I did my 12th day of leg muscles and 7th day of abs at the gym.

The two sisters from my Bartending class cancelled on us because they were sick. Cockblock! It was just up to me and another classmate named David (not to be confused with rockband singer David) to practice our shot-pouring.

David's got a pitbull that he's trying to find a family for. The pitbull farts a lot. According to David, some chicks on Craigslist are legit. Here's a scenario that went down: according to David:

CRAIGSLIST CHICK: Are you a cop?
DAVID: No, I'm not a cop.
CRAIGSLIST: Prove it. Get naked.
[David gets naked.]
CRAIGSLIST CHICK: Ok, you're not a cop.

Chris and Heather were throwing a farewell party for Roxy and Gavin who are moving to Florida. On the phone:

RYAN: What'cha doin'?
HEATHER: Waiting for you and Mark to come.
[Supposedly hangs up]

On the way to pick up Mark because his car was out of order, I got a text from Heather that read:

Sorry I didn't call you back Vicky crashed my car. You coming?

At Chris and Heather's:

• I made my 1st shot: A mudslide!
• I made Irish Car Bombs for Mark, Chris, and I.
• My bff Kat was walking around topless and hugged me while I had no shirt on (because I was swimming).
• Vicky, who's only 16, was asking me questions about Hypnotiq.
• Heather: (At Vicky) You are not allowed to talk to Ryan! (Inside joke because of how I used to - used to - hook up with high schoolers.)

RYAN: Tell Naomi I said, "Hi."
HEATHER: (Laughing) I will.

Mark drove home. I fired up the porn and busted a #3.

Cockblocked by chicken adobo

Today was definitely recovery day for weightlifting after going insane at the gym yesterday.

Guitar practice was another one of those that left me feeling like I can make any chick take her clothes off just by strumming something.

I was planning to eat at Red Robin, but my mommy made chicken adobo. I circled around the Red Robin and Jazz was working. Her hair was in a ponytail as usual except that the ponytail was held up in one of those big clip things. That's new. I got a boner. But dammit I was still full from eating chicken adobo. Cockblock! I can't eat at Red Robin if I'm already full.

I did 30 minutes of cardio at the gym. I went home and fired up the porn ... BUT uncharacteristically couldn't get in the mood to bust a #3. What's up with that?

Green tea spiked with apple cider vinegar.

I had to seriously repent for not lifting weights since last Sunday. So today, I loaded the carbs and green tea spiked with apple cider vinegar and like a demon I did my 11th day of legs, 11th day of upper body push muscles, 11th day of upper body pull muscles, and 6th day of abs, all in one day! Ho.Ly.Crap.

I don't remember the last time that I was in the gym for three-and-a-half hours. I do not recommend this. It's called "over training." That's bad. Plus, I have to stop slacking on abs. But ab exercises hurt. [Sad face.]

Recruiting little kids in Capoeira again

I had a dream last night that I was in an episode of True Blood having sex with Tara (Rutina Wesley).

I did 30 minutes of cardio at the gym this morning. It feels so damn wrong that I haven't lifted weight since Sunday. But at least this time I made it to Capoeira practice.

Today's class: Andres, Mexican Jesse, Marco, Slim, and I ... and a whole bunch of new little kids.

No new combos drilled except for: Ponteira (front kick) and armada (spin kick). Other drill was: 10 slow martellos (roundhouses), 10 fast, 10 slow, and 10 fast.

Then we played. I went against Slim, Jesse, and Andres. I even got some play on the atabaque drum.

Now I'm working on my novel, which I've finally resumed as of last night.

And the Jacob Black references continue

What the hell's wrong with me? I didn't go to the gym yesterday or today!

I went over the recipes for my Bartending class. I busted a #3 to Jennifer Love Hewitt in light of last night's movie, my gilf of a Bartending instructor, and my Bartending classmate Evelyn who liked my hair.

I showed up to class. That chick Evelyn was wearing a long green dress. She looked, smiled, and winked at me once. At the end of class, she was trying to figure out which celebrity that the dude sitting next to her reminded her of.

RYAN: Ever since that Twilight movie came out, I've gotten so many Jacob Black references.
EVELYN: That's what I was thinking last week when I said you have nice hair! I just didn't wanna say it because I wasn't sure if you'd be offended by the reference.

Then there was a bunch of blah, blah, blah.

EVELYN: Why is it when guys have long hair, it's always nice hair?

Anyway, her sister Caroline invited me to practice pouring shots with them this Saturday along with another dude in our class. Evelyn might be a clutz, though. Her skirt caught onto a chair that matched her dress and she nearly walked out dragging it. Ha.

The Client List

I watched last night's new True Blood episode this morning. I like that On Demand service.

I was getting ready for Capoeira practice today when suddenly ... I just got too damn lazy to go. So my mommy dragged me with her to Costco to do grocery shopping. Then dinner at Pat & Oscars. Mommy's learning to use coupons.

I got home in time to watch this made-for-TV movie The Client List starring Jennifer Love Hewitt on the Lifetime network. It's been hyped for the past few weeks. It's based on a true story about a mom getting busted when she turns to prostitution to support her family. I had a boner the whole time.

Yeah, an ideal Sunday should be: Church, gym, busting a #3, and restaurant

Went to church. Did my 10th day of upper body pull muscles at the gym. I actually ran out of protein supplements yesterday, so I packed chicken breast to eat afterward.

Found out I was home alone, so I busted a #3.

When my mommy came home, we went to Acapulco for dinner because she had a coupon.

I became a part of Rock & Roll history

I did my 10th day of upper body push muscles at the gym.

Brand Boulevard was shut down for the 17th annual Cruise night, an event where cars made by the 1960s and before just park to be shown off.

Apparently Demi Lovato performed at the Glendale Galleria too. [Yawn.] Had it been her fellow Disney Channel regular Selena Gomez, I would've cared since she's the more jackoffable jailbait.

I saw Jazz working at Red Robin. It's possible she caught me staring. Not sure. Immediately looked away. But she's renewed in my database.

And then, wandering into the corner of Brand and Lexington, I became a part of Rock & Roll history as I participated in the crowd that set a new record in the Guinness Book of World Records for most people to do the "Twist" while some guy named Chubby Checker (who was famous in the 60s) performed! Some G.I.L.F. taught me on the spot.

Went home and busted a #3 to that M.I.L.F. in the gym and to that chick Evelyn in my Bartending class, both of whom I mentioned last Tuesday (see entry 7-13-10).

Too much cockblockery!

I did my 10th day of legs at the gym. Guitar practice was same old shit.

Ok, 2 Fridays ago, I saw Jazz working at Red Robin. So last Friday, I ate there hoping to get her as a waitress, but she wasn't working. Cockblock! But she was working the following night (Saturday). So this week, I planned to eat there Saturday (tomorrow). But tonight, I saw her when she got out of work. What kind of schedule-fuckery is this?

She was sitting at one of those vendor booths called LA Beauty Mark getting her hair done. Cockblock! Most likely, girls don't want to be talked to while getting their hair done because it's an awkward moment.

Got home to catch the end of WWE Smackdown.

While firing up the porn, some chick in a video reminded me of this chick named Carmen, whom I met once a couple of years ago through my friend Conch. I stalked to see if Carmen had a Facebook. She did. I studied her pics and then busted a #3. Surprisingly, it was one of the best sessions I had.

Checking out law schools again

I guess today is recovery day from the gym. My mommy and I went to the open house for Glendale's School of Law. They had good snacks of cookies (chocolate chip, white chocolate, oatmeal raisin), strawberries, strawberry ruggala, Quaker bars, and Starbucks. Oh yeah, the school sounds like a good option. Then went to Rubio's for a steak burrito. Danny, who works front desk at the gym, was chilling there.

Training was actually lame, but it was time to visit Tiwat

I did my 9th day of upperbody pull muscles.

Andres mentioned last time that he would give us a "break" from Capoeira today by having us train Muay Thai. So I brought my gloves. Then we found out the REAL reason for our "break:" He has a tournament in Japan and needs to get ready. Class today: Slim, Marko, Andres' dog Naya, Brazilian Jesse, and Mexican Jesse (1st time seeing this Jesse in months).

Only combo drilled: Left jab, right cross, left uppercut, right cross, left body hook, left face hook.

My roundhouses killed Slim's leg, who was my partner holding the pad for me against his leg.

Then it was time to spar. The rules were supposed to be: 1) no shots to the face or balls. 2) Any kicks allowed, but be careful not to give your back.

I went up against Brazilian Jesse, started throwing piston kicks ... And Andres called time out to tell me not to throw piston kicks! What the fucking fuck? Then I went against Mexican Jesse. I basically absorbed everything and kept coming at him.

ANDRES: (At Jesse) I think you're gonna have to throw those kicks harder for him (me) to respect them.

Oh yeah, I accidentally got kicked in the balls by each of them (even though Mexican Jesse tried to make a case each time that their kicks missed my balls enough).

ANDRES: If someone kicks him (me) in the balls again, you're getting 30 pushups. Look at him. He's a handsome guy. He needs to be able to make handsome children.

I finished strong by clinching with Jesse and throwing knees.

Then it was time to visit Tiwat for the 1st time, who is now on house arrest.

RYAN: (On the phone) Can you prepare an ice pack for me?
TIWAT: What happened?
RYAN: I took a bunch of Muay Thai kicks to the thigh.

• It turns out there are politics in prison.
• Tiwat had to hang out with those of African descent because they were collectively characterized as "other" (in terms of race).
• The guards loved watching prisoners fight, so they usually instigated the fights.
• Tiwat made friends with an ex-Yakuza member who was in there for eight years for knocking out a cop, but has since been released.

You talking to me?

I don't know what came over me in the gym. I did my 9th day of legs AND my 9th day of upper body push muscles AND my 5th day of abs. (Yeah, I've been slacking on the abs.) And I still felt like doing my upper body pull muscles afterward, but I didn't want to over-train, so I saved it for tomorrow.

Oh, and there's this M.I.L.F. at the gym, like late 30s - early 40s. She could possibly be armo, but she's caucasian-looking enough, so it's cool. She's in my database.

I signed up for a Bartending class a few hours before it started.

TEACHER: There was this one guy who everyone knew. He became a regular. He asked me for my number so that he could drop off jumbalaya at my house for Thanksgiving. He was nice, so I didn't think anything of it. I asked him what he does for a living. He said, "I'm in a band." I said, "Good luck to you" and asked him what was the band's name. He said, "Black Eyed Peas." I thought, "That's a stupid name for a band."

The dude turned out to be Will.I.Am. But for the real important story: There's 2 sisters in the class named Caroline and Evelyn. As we were walking back to class from break ...

EVELYN: You have really nice hair.
RYAN: (Clueless about who she's talking to) You talking to me?
EVELYN: Yeah.
RYAN: Oh, thanks.

Then she teased about how it was basically an impersonation of Robert DeNiro in Taxi Driver. But the point is: She's short, but not a midget. I could so see myself picking her up while having the - as they say in A Clockwork Orange - in-out with her. Possibly armo, but oh well because body's ok, face is cute, hair is long and dark. Database!

Love the Way You Lie

Do I even have to keep mentioning whenever Guro reschedules Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training? Shouldn't it just be a given that whenever we do have training, it was rescheduled from another date?

Well, someone at the cable company isn't doing their job as the latest True Blood episode wasn't available on demand yet. I had to watch it old school piracy style on the internet. Then randomly busted a #3 to some big-breasted blond chick from the Renaissance Faire last May when I was going through old pics.

I had more energy for Capoeira training as I didn't go to the gym beforehand like I usually do. There was less parking than usual because the park's summer programs have started. Boo. Random note: There was some middle aged, but buff, man working out in practically boxers.
Today's class: Andres, Brazilian Jesse, Marko, Slim, Andres' dog Nayarit, and I.

• Andres had us practice the spinning hook kick from Karate and Tae Kwon Do so that we would know the difference between their spin kick and our Capoeira spin kick (armada).
• Then we practiced turning a spin kick into a roundhouse in the opposite direction. Requires a lot of balance because of going against the momentum.
• Then the combo drilled was: Armada, lunge, negativa, rewind into lunge, step in for meia lua de compasso (low spin kick), rasteira de cosa (spinning back sweep).
• Nayarit (the dog) can actually keep up with us running. But then she displays attitude when being told to "sit" and "stay" in the corner!

I did probably my best in a while. Class ended when I fell, Jesse tried to jump over me, I countered into grabbing his leg, it deteriorated into grappling, and Andres broke it up.

I got too lazy to go to the gym, though. Busted a #3 just so I'll feel stronger tomorrow when my body recovers with new testosterone. Ended the night with WWE RAW.

I guess pigs will start to fly

I overslept. Went to church late. Did my 8th day of upper body pull muscles. At the gym, I saw Saul ... actually helping that annoying kid Emmanuel! That's impossible. No one ever helps Emmanuel because he never listens and never works hard. I guess he's starting to come around. As cliche goes, I guess pigs will start to fly.

My mommy and I tried some Mexican restaurant at the Americana called Frida. It was aight.

Another traditional midnight Del Taco run

I did my 8th day of upper body push muscles.

While killing time to go to Brandon's place, I went to the mall. I bought these cut off blue jean shorts for about $10 (on sale for 50% off). It's Twilight werewolf status.

And then while passing by the Red Robin ... Guess what? Jazz was working. (Sarcastically) Of course. So not last night when I was there, but tonight when I'm not there. Ok, next week then, I'll eat there on Saturday. For the first time ever, she was working with her hair down. She never has her hair down while working. That's so in my database.

Morgan and Hasel were driving up north with a U-haul to move all their stuff. Brandon and his roommate Matt were alone. I walked in wearing my leather armor shoulder plate and old crucifix earings that I just started wearing again.

MATT: (Drunk and staring at my leather plate) I didn't know we're going into battle.

Familiar faces who arrived were: Sid, Terri, Allen, Gil. New faces: Allen's girlfriend Brenda, Matt's friend Christine, another Christine. And then a bunch of people whose names I can't remember and probably won't see again, although one of them says he met me last time. Random note:

• Terri dated a Filipino guy for 3-and-a-half years and is familiar with dinoguan (pork blood and intestines) and balut (duck fetus).
• Sid saw me on the 5 freeway about a month ago (while Matt - whom he thought was white - and I were on our way to PWG) and he debated about rolling down his window and yelling at me to come to a party.
• Allen is a Freemason.

CHRISTINE: What is your last name? I'm adding you on Facebook.
RYAN: (Joking) I'm naked on Facebook.
SID: (Joking )Yeah, he is!
CHRISTINE: Shut up! I'm adding you! You better not be naked!

We had our traditional midnight Del Taco run. Then I wanted to go home and bust a #3.

BRANDON: Do you have to go home any time soon.
RYAN: No, I just wanna have enough time to ... umm ... be able to ...
BRANDON: Spank bank?
RYAN: Yeah.

I was forced to eat my Bleu Cheese Burger in blue balls

I did my 8th day for legs at the gym.

I have to say that I can really make love to a guitar and amplifier (though metaphorically), which would be a threesome (thus, a metaphorical threesome).

At night, it was finally time to go to the Red Robin. This was planned since last Friday when I caught sight of Jazz working that night. But on this particular Friday night ... she wasn't working! What kind of fuckery is this? Since when did work schedules become unpredictable? I was forced to eat my Bleu Cheese Burger in blue balls.

I wanted to hit the gym again, but got lazy, went home and busted a #3.

Original The Karate Kid > remake that can't tell the difference between Karate and Kung Fu

Today was recovery day from the gym as I did another "pay for one movie and sneak into a bunch of others" session. I saw Eclipse (Twilight sequel), then Grown Ups, was originally going to sneak into Knight and Day next but changed my mind when I saw The Last Airbender in 3D was available (and thank God for carrying my 3D glasses around), and ended with The Karate Kid remake.

FMA, gym, Capoeira ... What was I thinking?

I had Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training at 10:30AM. My encounter with the Power Rangers last week at Anime Expo came up. Classmate Matt (to distinguish him from THE Matt and my nephew Matthew) shared that his cousin is Nakia Burrise, who played the 3rd (albeit out of a million) Yellow Power Ranger. We drilled:

• Sinawali (weaving).
• Vertical gunting (scissor) with knives. Angles 1 and 2.
• Sumbrada (fighter flow drill).

I called Carlos in Nebraska to wish him Happy Birthday.

I did my 7th day of my current regiment for upper body pull muscles. I added rear deltoid flies.

After all that, I STILL (practically suicidally) went to Capoeira training. Andres, Marco, and Slim were present. I will now distinguish the two Jesses as Brazilian Jesse and Mexican Jesse. Brazilian Jesse, newly sporting cornrows, trained briefly. Some new kid named Steve (not to be confused with THE Steve) showed up.

The only single move drilled was the rasteira (sweep). The only combo drilled: Meia lua de frente (front arch kick), armada (spin kick), lunge, negativa role (rolling recovery), esquiva (dodge/recovery), meia lua de compasso (low spin kick).

I was the first one in the circle and the last one out when playing with Andres and I finally tapped out due to exhaustion.

A blond chick, straight hair, hair down, and a pink top

I did my 7th day of upper body push muscles at the gym. But I added regular bicep curls and hammer curls to capitalize on the lingering soreness from last Saturday. While using the tricep pull down machine, this new chick asked if she could share the machine with me. When she was done, she said, "It's all yours," in the sexiest voice. Both visual and audio are going in my database. Can't tell if she was white or one of those armos who look white.

I got home and spontaneously I decided to bust a #3 to her instead of waiting to do it during the weekend. Ended the night with WWE NXT.

Still trying to decrease carbs

Mommy had a day off. I did my 7th day of my current legs regiment. Then picked up job applications for Spencer's and Pacific Theaters. Ended the night with WWE RAW. Was today really that boring? I busted a #3 to Chris' secretary, Becky, from last Saturday out of boredom.

Because I said the F-word

My mommy and I went to Uncle Lando's house for 4th of July BBQ. From there, we went to watch fireworks. I had to drive Auntie Carrisa's car with cousin Janine, nephew Matthew, and niece Mika in a car seat. The spedometer was broken! It was my first time guessing how fast I was going for an entire drive.

RYAN: (At a car honking at me because I cut him off before he can cut me off) Yeah fucker!
JANINE: Kuya (older brother/cousin)! We have kids in the car!

Too much traffic, though. So we watched fireworks from a Rite Aid parking lot with ice cream that Janine treated us to. I had a scoop of pastachio nut and a scoop of birthday cake.

MATTHEW: (At me) No offense, but you're a bad driver.
MARICEL (MATTHEW'S MOM): Why?
MATTHEW: Because he passed a car and said the F-word.

Tiwat was released from jail

I went crazy at the gym, doing BOTH my 6th day of upper body push muscles AND my 6th day of upper body pull muscles. I added hammer curls to the regiment. My biceps are so dead.

Then I found out Tiwat, who has been in jail since April 15, was finally released this morning! And now he's on house arrest until September 11, but possibly earlier if he finds a job.

I went to Heather's 33th Birthday party in Anaheim where surprisingly she forgot to order the UFC PPV.

MARK: I thought they were ordering the fight.
RYAN: You and your assumptions.
MARK: Hey, Tim assu-- assumped too!

It's funny because the proper grammar should be: Hey, Tim assumed too!

Talk of the night:

• I was wearing my leather shoulder plate that I bought at Anime Expo.
• My story about my epic fail in picking up the Yellow Power Ranger by accidentally making her feel old.

HEATHER: [Shaking head] I don't know what to say about that, Ryan! We were just talking about you about how you were doing so well with older women instead of underage girls. And then Mark was like, "No, he just hides it more around you."



HEATHER: We were talking about how smart you are. (At Kat) Did you know how smart he is? But he doesn't show it. Why is that? When you talk to him, you think, "Moron." But then he really talks ... and he's smart!

NICK: Do you want a shot?
RYAN: I'm done.
WILL: Sure, I'll have one.
RYAN: Fuckin' peer pressure. Yeah, I'll have one.
NICK: [Laughs] I thought I smelled a vagina there.

Chris' receptionist, Becky (not to be confused with the same Becky I met on 6/15/10 and then busted a #3 to), normally isn't a looker. But I had beer goggles, so I put her in my database.

HEATHER: Even if you're still checking out underage girls, I appreciate that you care about me enough that you'd hide it from me.

Running through the mall with my hand down my pants

I did day 6 of my legs regiment.

Guitar practice was decent.

And then it finally happened. The last time I saw Jazz was the day before my LSAT. After a lot of reconnaissance since then and no sight of her, I was beginning to think she quit and move on to plan B of talking to her (which would've been to reacquaint myself with Branden at the Red Robin, whom she seems to be friends with). BUT out of nowhere, Jazz and a chick coworker walked out of the restaurant! I overheard her say something like ...

JAZZ: ... All we wanna do is party all day.

Into partying, eh? Brainstorming possible schemes now. But for that moment, I gleefully ran through the mall with my hand down my pants, running so that no one can stop me to ask, "Why is your hand down your pants?"

Arthur was inviting me to go Bowling, but instead I stayed at home to bust a #3 to the chick dressed as Sailor Moon yesterday.

Accidentally making the Yellow Ranger feel old = Pick-up fail

I woke up at 6:00AM and went straight to the gym to swell up. I only did my 4th day of abs and 5 sets of pec flies. Eugene with Stef, Candice, and Jun picked me up to go to my 1st Anime Expo. I went as Twilight's Jacob Black, which was possible by loophole since Twilight was adapted into a manga (comic book in Japanese).



Surprisingly, there was one other brown dude there as Jacob Black, complete with cardboard cut-out face.

JACOB: (Referring to me) Let me take a picture with this guy! (Referring to my wolfpack tattoo) This is the only thing I'm missing.
GOKU (or someone dressed as him): I bet this is now gonna take off like wildfire. Next year, there will probably be like a million Jacobs.
JACOB: This is the smartest costume. You and I already know.



There were lots of chicks dressed as Sailor Moon, but this was probably the best looking one. Kind of A.D.D. and ditzy, though.

RYAN: I used to be Tuxedo Mask (Sailor Moon's lover) for Halloween.
SAILOR MOON: Oh my God, you would've been perfect today! We could've been together ... blah, blah, blah ...

And then Super Mario - yeah, as in Super Mario Bros - tried to cockblock!

MARIO: (Recognizing my wolfpack tattoo) You're in the wrong con[vention]! Blah, blah, blah ... It's because of people like you our con sold out so fast ... Blah, blah, blah ...

At this point, Sailor Moon stood up for me and punked him! She is so in my database!



People dressed as Dhalsim and Cammy from Street Fighter. That Cammy is also in my database.

Highlights:

• The original Mighty Morphin' Black Power Ranger, Zack (Walter Jones), snuck up behind me just to say, "You forgot your shirt."
• I was picking up on the 2nd Yellow Ranger, Aisha (Karan Ashley), but the epic fail came when I accidentally made her feel old as I could see her self esteem leave her eyes.
• I bought a leather shoulder plate, like the one they wear in Spartacus: Blood and Sand, from a traveling vendor booth called Crimson Chain.

The saleswoman was an abnormally tall chick. Points of our conversation were as follows ...

TALL CHICK: (Referring to me being shirtless) I wish it were legal for me to do that.
RYAN: I wish it were too.

TALL CHICK: (To other chick customers) These work like ... (To me) You, sir, model for me. [I model.]

TALL CHICK: Wait, it's cutting into your pec. [Readjusts it.] Oh like you're gonna complain about a girl tying and untying you. It's so unfair for guys like you to have hair like this.

TALL CHICK: There you go, sir. You are now a model for advertsing us. Remember to flex a lot and tell people about us. And remember, you are at a convention where they adore men like you. This (leather shoulder plate) will get you laid.

Lowlight: Eugene had one of his insecure, low self esteem episodes.