Guro is going to start teaching at the UFC Gym in Rosemead

I showed up to Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training at 10:30, but Guro and I played "tag" for an hour trying to look for a new student named Matt (obviously not to be confused with my long time homie, Matt). A million people at the park for Memorial Day complicates finding someone.

GURO: I totally forgot about the Memorial Day holiday.

Now that's a shocker since Guro's a former Marine and so this is supposed to be his type of holiday.

We had to relocate to the Greek Theater. Training went well. Matt works in security and has a Martial Arts background (i.e. Boxing). And for my own boring reference:

• We drilled the X-pattern with sticks.
• Then did angles of attack 1-5 with knives, checking each angle with the empty hand first and then slicing it. (Mental note: Don't cross hands when one has a knife.)
• Countering angle 1 into a shoulder break (trankada cirriculum).

Then the majority of class was countering the counter of the shoulder break:

• Push (pak) them off as soon as they block my knife (angle 1) before they can turn it into a shoulder break.
• Push them off when I get their back as soon as they almost lock in the shoulder break, simultaneously "bow-and-arrowing" my knife across their throat.
• Hip-bumping them off, thus disrupting their balance, as soon as they almost lock in the shoulder break.
• Hip bump (as described previously) with sweep.
• Align hip to hip, and bend my knee into the rear of their knee to make them kneel.
• Use their momentum to - before they completely counter my knife into their shoulder break - counter it into a knife-lock against their wrist.
• Before they can lock in the shoulder break, grab the bottom of their tricep and compress their arm into a sort of figure-4 lock. Simple leverage of twisting my hip gives the illusion of throwing them.
• And my favorite: just kick their groin from behind as soon as I get their back when they go for the shoulder break.

End boring reference. Oh, and Guro is going to start teaching at the UFC Gym in Rosemead.

I stayed extra longer at the gym to work out both my upper and lower body since my gym membership expires tomorrow and I'll need to wait a few days before renewing it.

"I love that shirt!"

I showed up to my LSAT prep class for a practice test. I always need to wear something red for good luck during such situations. I wore my red Hermione (from Harry Potter) shirt.

NICK: I love that shirt!
[Other chicks, whom I don't know, laugh]
BEN: What shirt is it?
RYAN: [Proudly shows off Emma Watson on my chest]

RYAN: I sent you an add on facebook.
BEN: A what?
RYAN: An add.
BEN: Huh?
RYAN: Friend request. On facebook.
BEN: Ohhh ...
GINGER: [Smiles]

Yeah, the whole point of sharing this dialogue is simply that it culminated with my being able to store Ginger's smile in my database.

BEN: Oh, I thought you were talking about an advertisement for you playing (guitar). Where do you play?
I don't actually perform, but technically I play at home so ...
RYAN: Around Glendale.
BEN: Oh, that's where I grew up. I grew up in La Crescenta.

SOME OLDER CHICK: (At me) I was just looking at your shirt right now. It's adorable!

Damn right.

The chick, who has the worst reputation as an incompetent proctor, was our proctor again. She playfully laughed and pointed at my shirt. (I'm assuming in somewhat appreciation ... I hope.)

Oh, and Jackie had her hair down and was wearing a shirt that read "Barcelona," perhaps a clue of her ethnicity.

We would later find out that our scores went down on this practice test! Something about it was unusually hard. Ironically, Ginger actually finished early and left during the last section, but apparently shouldn't have been so confident either.

Went to church with my mommy and had dinner at Granville Cafe.

Lose Yourself

I got to LSAT prep class 30 minutes late because I couldn't find my car keys. I ran into Mike in the parking lot. We looked through the window of the door and saw they were already in the middle of a quiz, so we decided to go chill. Then Ginger walked out of the ladies restroom.

GINGER: I had like 4 cups of tea this morning.

Mike and I went for a coffee run. But Sissy walked out and caught us. Busted! She was OK with us coming back when the quiz was done. The cute muslim chick at the front desk gave Mike and I a "WTF" look as we walked out since we had just arrived. On the way back, some bum tried to ask Mike for his coffee. Um, no.

Mike and I agreed that the muslim chick working at the front desk and Ginger are both cute. He also thought our classmate Jillian (obviously not the same as my cousin Jillian) is cute.

RYAN: I think Jackie's cute too.
MIKE: Who's Jackie?
(Haha. Remember Jackie is very introverted.)
RYAN: The one who sits by herself in the front row.
MIKE: Oh! Her! She just walks in, walks out, and doesn't talk to anyone. But yeah, she's got some cuteness.

Awkward moment: For a question that didn't have the correct answer revealed, I chose "A." Everyone else ...

SISSY: Who chose "D?"
[Literally EVERYONE raises their hands as I give them a "WTF" look.]

Ginger looked back at me and started laughing. I now have her laugh in my database. Score!

BEN: So what should we do before test day? It feels so wrong to just not do anything.
RYAN: I'm watching 8 Mile.

Vanessa revealed she's chickening out from taking the LSAT this June 7. We tried to pressure her to go through with it.

VANESSA: I just gave up on myself half way through. When I was playing soccer, my dad raised me to have my game face on and get mad. But I don't have my game face on.
RYAN: You need to watch 8 Mile!
VANESSA: OK, I'll watch it.
RYAN: I'll have you know that I once found out last second that I was fighting in a tournament ... and I came in 2nd!
VANESSA: I see your point.

I don't think she's going through with it. Oh well. [Sigh] She'll have to fix her attitude if I'm going to have casual sex with her.

I spent the rest of the day studying. Oh, and here's a video of Taylor Swift rapping (yes, Taylor Swift rapping) a cover of Eminem's Academy Award winning Lose Yourself from the 8 Mile soundtrack:

Blackbird

I studied, tried to teach myself to play Jewels Standing Still, rocked at guitar practice with some drills in B Minor and learned the Beatles' Blackbird, and did my 2nd day of my lower body weight lifting regiment at the gym.

With Degrassi and Smallville both on break for the summer, my Friday night was free. So as a study break ...

I went to Hot Topic and saw that OK looking chick Georgia. She has a new cute coworker. But of course mallratting wouldn't have been complete without walking around the Red Robin to renew Jazz in my database. I caught her on break where she was just sitting next to the window, so I was able to just stare at her for a long time in that gay Edward Cullen sort of way.

Then went home, fired up the porn, found a Rachel Roxxx video, and extracted the database.

What to do the day before the LSAT? Watch 8 Mile.

I tried a new upper body heavy lifting regiment at the gym today. I'm bringing calisthenics back.

Then studied.

Then went to LSAT prep class. Classmates were wondering what to do the day before the LSAT. Sissy told them nothing. Everyone felt it would be so wrong to do nothing test-related the day before the test. Sissy told everyone to watch 8 Mile and credited me with the idea. (Last Monday, I mentioned I was like Eminem in 8 Mile, but as a guitarist.)

SISSY: It's an uplifting story. He couldn't perform. And then he did.

Cutting out the starch = 5 extra points

I set my alarm clock for a practice LSAT test. I can notice Ginger from behind from a mile away. Juan, Lucine, and some new chick (who's name I didn't get) also showed up. The cute muslim chick, who's always wearing a shawl, was working the front desk. I wonder what her hair looks like.

RYAN: I'm ready to rock. I just found out that I'm not supposed to have any starch before the test, which I've always done. So today, I cut out the starch.
(I had steak for breakfast.)
GINGER: That's like an extra 5 or 6 points.

She talked to me. Score!

And then when we were going to break ...

RYAN: How much time do we get for break?
GINGER: 10 minutes.

Scored again! I also notice she eats salad with dried cherries for her break.

After the test, the new chick revealed this was her 1st practice test and she was merely "starting to entertain the idea of law school." She kind of jackoffable.

RYAN: [My score] went up!
LUCINE: Mine went down!

I high-fived Juan. Lucine was still in too much disbelief to high-five me. So then I high-fived the new chick.

NEW CHICK: Here, I'll give you her high-five.

And I flesh-on-flesh scored with the new chick!

On the freeway, some black guy cut me off. So then I cut him off, so he can see me flipping him off. And I cut him off again when he tried to go around me. Then he gave up. Great match. I win.

I had some of mommy's spaghetti before going to Salina's rock band parents to help them with video business. Oh, and Eugene asked me to videotape for him in the near future. We watched the American Idol season finale:

• They now know that I'm the kind of guy who was screaming, "Have my babies" at Kelly Clarkson during her concert, which is why Salina's mom will now be self-conscious whenever she covers a Kelly song and I'm in the audience.
• During Crystal Bowersox and Alanis Morissette's duet, I flipped out when Bowersox changed Morissette's original lyrics from "would she go down ON you IN a theater" to "would she go down WITH you TO a theater." Salina's mom then gave me props for knowing Alanis songs.
• Bret Michaels, who nearly died recently, did his classic Every Rose Has Its Thorn as a duet with Casey James. Fortunately, Salina's dad was passed out. 1) Salina's dad hates Michaels because he auditioned for a spot in Michaels' band Poison. 2) Salina's mom goes gaga for Michaels.
• General Larry Platt's Pants on the Ground featuring fellow American Idol reject William Hung was EPIC!
• Oh, and this was Simon Cowell's last night as a judge.

RYAN: [Watching Kelly Clarkson on TV] I've got chills.
SALINA'S MOM: Now you know how I feel when I was watching Bret [Michaels].

And Mark had to cancel on Red Lion Tavern for dinner, so I got to go straight home.

Wahoo's Fish Taco has Sam Adams on tap

I busted a #3 again to that Fencing instructor chick from the Renaissance Faire.

I had to use one of the computers at my LSAT prep class to watch a video of a class I missed since neither my mommy's PC nor my Mac had the "plug ins" to view the video.

I ate at Wahoo's Fish Taco across the street for the 1st time, but got carne asada tacos instead of fish. Mental note: They have Sam Adams on tap. I'm definitely going back there.

Sissy and I ended up walking by each other on the crosswalk when she was heading for our class, but I was going to Borders.

SISSY: Aren't you going the wrong way?
RYAN: Just chillin.'

I definitely need to finish these Logic Games faster for the LSAT. Ended the night with WWE NXT, a.k.a. "The Bryan Danielson Show."

Can't believe I couldn't even go to the gym today. That's, like, blasphemy.

I woke up at 8:30AM to reschedule Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training with Guro to later this week. Went back to sleep. Busted a #3 to the chick teaching Fencing at the Renaissance Faire, just like I promised I would yesterday. Did a bunch of LSAT work before my tutoring session with Sissy at 3:30PM. I now have a detailed schedule for every day before the actual LSAT on June 7.

SISSY: I'm sure you're a popular guy. Tell your friends you'll be back on June 8. You can play your guitar then.

Goodbye life for the next 14 days.

I went to Best Buy to buy the appropriate firewire cable that will FINALLY allow me to transfer footage from my vid camera to my Mac. And I got to eat at Baja Fresh nearby for the 1st time in months sonce the one in Glendale went out of business. I also walked around the next door Pat & Oscars to renew the waitress in my database, the one from last Monday who looked like she used to have a mohawk, but was now growing it out to look normal, but still cute. Gosh, why do I feel dirty, like I just cheated on Jazz from Red Robin?

I bought index cards at Ralphs so I can make flashcards. Cheapest purchase I ever made: $1.09.

MANAGER: This is it? What's going on?

I guess he's used to seeing me with beer.

RYAN: Studying.
MANAGER: Index cards? More like cheat cards! It's OK, even Sarah Palin writes her speech on her arm.

Did more LSAT work and finally started reading Morgan's screenplay with my corrections in red pen while watching WWE Raw.

Wenches, man. Wenches.

I woke up on Heather and Chris' couch at around 4:00AM. Apparently, my Facebook status read:

Just made Guinness milkshakes. Credit for recipe goes to Gumby. I'm so wasted right now. Love you all.

And Tim replied:

Yea I'm looking at u passed out on the couch lol

I puked on the sidewalk before getting into my car and got home by 5:00AM.

Eugene called me 4 hours later at 9:00AM to make sure I was awake. He, along with Stef, Jun and Candice (who I haven't seen since over a year ago) picked me up at 10:00AM to go to Renaissance Faire. We stopped by McDonald's so I can puke some more in the restroom.

• Even though we agreed on not wearing costumes this year, I got suckered as Stef and Candice dressed up. I would've been a Gladiator dammit.
• Hangover was gone by mid day.
• There were more than enough big breasted chicks (or wenches, as they're called at Renaissance Faire) to last as new additions to my database for a long time.
• Eugene FINALLY won at fencing for the 1st time in 3 years.
• Even though the chick teaching Fencing was not showing cleavage, she had the cutest face in a subtle kind of way that she's 1st to be extracted from the database as soon as I can.
• Jun had the "bright" (sarcastically) idea for me to try knife-throwing. Even the teacher missed. Meh.
• I bought a hair dangle (Pirate style) with a Celtic knot that meant "everlasting life."

Eugene advertised his upcoming Father's Day fundraiser to my mommy. My mommy then dragged me to church with her.

At church, there was this asian chick all in black. I know I said I was bored with asian chicks after being surrounded by that crowd growing up. But she was short without being a midget and cute. When she knelt while praying, I was standing and mentally measured that I wouldn't have to crouch uncomfortably if she were to ever perform oral copulation on me.

My mommy and I ate dinner at Outback Steakhouse.

Sake, Patron, Bailey's, Vodka, Guinness milkshakes, regular Guinness, Irish car bombs

We actually don't have LSAT prep classes this weekend. Don't know why, but whoohoo. I used my day off to start a new heavy lifting regiment at the gym. I worked out my entire lower body.

Went to the Apple store for basically tech support in transferring footage from my video camera to my laptop.

Heather invited me over to pick stuff up that would help me study for my LSAT. I finally gave her the shot glass that I got her from the Philippines. Mark had left before I got there. Those present: Chris, Roxy, Kat, Shaun, Tim, Judy, Marelis, and Marelis' new boyfriend Brian (obviously not to be confused with any other Brians I've ever mentioned). My BFF Kat's Birthday was last Thursday and everyone's still celebrating.

BRIAN: If it gets confusing between us, you can call me Doug.
RYAN: How'd you get the nickname Doug?
BRIAN: Too many Brians.
RYAN: My nickname's Jacob.
MARELIS: You and your name "Jacob!" Ever since Twilight came out ...

Basically ... I had sake, a bunch of Patron, Bailey's, vodka, Guinness milkshakes that I made (credit for recipe goes to Gumby), regular Guinness, Irish car bombs. Moral of the story: Don't expect me to be able to retell any more of this night.

I'm like Eminem in 8 Mile, but as a guitarist

I burned about 300 calories (according to the treadmill) running for half an hour at a distance of 2.88 miles. I wonder if these things are accurate.

I rocked at guitar practice. Mental note: Ask him next week to teach me Beatles' Black Bird.

I watched the season finale of Degrassi.

With Smallville going on break for the summer after last week's geekgasmic season finale, I have Friday nights again. (Whoops, I forgot to watch WWE Smackdown. Oh well.) So ...

I did reconnaissance around the Red Robin. Jazz was working tonight. Normally her bangs fall to the left, but tonight she had a clip that made it go right. Cute. I see she gets to snack on a free burger during her break time. That's all in my database.

I visited Salina's parents to help them transfer the footage I shot of their band's performance last week onto their computer. Fail. Something's wrong with their computer. So we hung out:

• I missed their daughter Sable, who likes to cook and made a mess without cleaning it up. I met her last week and she was aight-looking.
• They offered some Dragon OG, but I had to tell them I quit.
• They think college suckers people and that educational institutions don't teach kids how the monetary system works and today's "children are screwed because of it."
• They went to college in their 30s.
• The fish tacos they gave me were made from fish that they caught themselves.
• I met their granddaughter, but I'm not sure which one of their kids is the mom (probably Salina's daughter).
• Apparently, I can't play guitar unless it's acoustic and not in front of people. That was embarrassing.
• They're concerned that my answer to why I'm alone on a Friday night and with no girlfriend is because I'm too busy studying.

I went home and rediscovered porn star Bailey O'Dare. Then stumbled onto the facebook of this chick instructor who was described as a "real animal" (see entry 2/3/10) and whom I trained under for one session. They're both in my database. I ended the night by extracting the database.

We had to teach our LSAT prep teacher what THC is

Mental note for future payback: Some douchebag by the number of (815) 641-8413, who dialed me as the wrong number, woke me up twice at 5 in the morning.

I did my 21st day of my heavy lifting regiment at the gym. That's 21 days. Time to look for a new regiment to begin on Saturday (tomorrow is recovery day). Surprisingly, I got stuck a couple of times lifting the weight (during military presses and then dumbbell presses) and the dudes courteous enough to help me each time were ... armenian! I guess this changes my outlook on armenians ... until the next time one of them puts my life in danger again committing a traffic violation.

Oh, and Salina's mom called me up.

By the way, I have to brag about my meals today:

Meal 1: Cereal in milk, banana.
Meal 2: Energy bar, green tea.
Meal 3: Salmon (sinigang, Filipino dish).
Meal 4: Chicken, green tea.
Meal 5: Hard boiled eggs, raspberry iced tea.
Meal 6: Almonds, apple.
Meal 7: Steak.
Meal 8: Greek yogurt (20g protein, 9g carbohydrates).

I went to my LSAT prep class in my green striped shirt that shows off my muscles. Beatrize is STILL absent. But Jackie and Ginger were there for renewal in my database. Lucine is still OK looking. Oh, and somehow Juan found Sissy's drawing of an "R" and an "S" as one letter "pornographic." I caught Mike converting all R's and S's on the board as such during the break.

SISSY: On to section 5-- I have the giggles for some reason.
BRADY: There must be THC in the air.
SISSY: What's that?
GINGER: [Rolls eyes] It's the main chemical ingredient in pot that gets you high.
SISSY: Blah, blah, blah--
GINGER: [Rolls eyes] --Section 5!

Aw, how cute. Ginger comes off as the serious, clean cut type.

RYAN: I notice the board looks more "pornographic."
SISSY: What did you guys do to my board?!
GINGER: (At me) That's all you have to say?

Yes! She looked at me and said words to me! That's, like, verbal sex! Score!

SISSY: You did it to my name!

Dream On

I began the day with watching last night's Glee on Hulu.com. It guest starred Neil Patrick Harris and I had no idea he could sing so well.

Then I burned about 400-500 calories over a simulated distance of 4-5 miles (according to the treadmill) at the gym. I saw Cat, one of the personal trainers, whom I haven't busted a #3 to in a long time. It's good to recycle old faces in the database every now and then.

My mommy and I ate at Rubio's. Cops were circling the area. Weird.

1 Year Anniversary since "Judgment Day"

1 year ago today, the cunt Fox network decided not to renew Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles. A moment of silence please.

Morgan called me up while I was stretching to Kelly Clarkson. Morgan shared that he busted a #3 to these chicks that were sunbathing by the pool while he was "baked."

I did my 20th day of my current heavy lifting regiment at the gym. Only one more day of this before I begin a new regiment. Again, I figured 21 days is a nice time period.

Since I no longer needed all that testosterone afterward, I busted a #3 to that waitress at Pat & Oscar's from yesterday, then to that blond waitress at Cafe O from last Friday, and finally to Lucine.

I went to my LSAT prep class. Ben revealed the reason he missed the "Ultimate" practice test yesterday was because he assumed it was at night. I sat further away from Sissy because she felt like she was coming down with some sickness. Ginger was the only jackoffable chick tonight. Beatrize was still absent. Jackie wasn't there. But good news: I FINALLY completed all the questions in a section (in this case, Logical Reasoning) before the time limit!

Also, Vanessa brought a tub of chocolate chip cookies for everyone. I overheard her say they were from Trader Joe's and they have more chocolate chips per cookie than normal chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and then she gave me half her orange. And then put the sticker from her orange onto my jacket. Yeah, I think she's digging more than my hair. And that brings me back to the question I asked Brian yesterday: Would you have sex with someone you're not attracted to, but she's not ugly?

I ended the night with WWE NXT.

Would you have sex with someone you're not attracted to, but she's not ugly?

Well, typos suck. We had an "ultimate" LSAT practice test today that's supposed to simulate the real thing. That's the reason why most of the class didn't show up for the practice test yesterday. The "ticket" that I was supposed to print out said to show up no later than 7:45AM. I woke up early to call them to confirm. It turns out that the office isn't even open until 10:00AM. Yup, a typo. I showed up at 11:30 as discussed. Vanessa mentioned she did her yoga to prepare.

NICK: You ready to go back-to-back [for practice tests]?
RYAN: (Unenthusiastically) Yup.

VANESSA: If I did the practice test yesterday and showed up today, I would've felt like killing people.

I'm starting to notice that this chick named Lucine is also kind of jackoffable. The only thing that sucks about sitting at the front all the time is notcing these things late. She's armo, though. That wouldn't stop me. But again, I'd only hit it out of spite.

Mental note #1: They recommend Gatorade on test day.

Mental note #2: Vanessa was wearing Joe Boxer pants that made either her hips or ass look wide. This led me to ...

I caught up with Brian at the GNC to catch up.

RYAN: Would you have sex with someone you're not attracted to, but she's not ugly?
CUSTOMER: Do it.
BRIAN: Yeah.
CUSTOMER: Does she have big tits and ass?
RYAN: Um, ass.
CUSTOMER: Go for it.

I met with my mommy at Costco and then we ate dinner at Pat & Oscars. The waitress was jackoffable. It looked like she used to have a mohawk, but was now growing her hair back to a normal state, and the parts that were long enough were in a ponytail and clipped away from her eyes. Cute face too. And a brunette. She's in my database.

Ended the night with WWE Raw.

Mommy wanted to fight me over church

I managed to wake up and feel well rested for a practice test in my LSAT class. But we got screwed out of time because the ditzy proctor kept rounding off the start and end times for each section.

Then went to gym ... which resulted in a long fight between my mommy and I because she tried to force me to go to church instead, refusing to let her dragging me to church with her last Wednesday fulfill my weekly requirement of going.

I did my 19th day of my current heavy lifting regiment at the gym. Then came home to eat and called it a night.

Watched Salina's mom (who's technically a grandma) make out with her chick friend

I went to my LSAT prep class in the morning. As I was driving around the corner of the building, I noticed Ginger crossing the street. She's normally in athletic gear like shorts and a hoodie and her hair in a ponytail. But this morning, she was more dressed up and her hair was down. "Oh baby," I said out loud as I started touching myself in my car.

Other than that, Beatrize was absent. And Jackie was uncharacteristically wearing way too much makeup.

After class, I stopped by Best Buy to buy some more tapes for tonight's gig only to remember afterward that I still had a few left. Then I took Ben's advice and slept the entire day until I had to leave for my gig at night to videotape that rockband (see entry 5-3-10).

Update:

• Salina no longer sings with the band as she had to relocate to Alabama because her estranged "husband" (which her mom pronounces with rolled eyes) got stationed there.
• Salina is pregnant, so I'm cockblocked for this summer. Boo.
• The band bought me a couple of Sam Adams Summer Ale on tap.
• I found out that Salina's mom and adopted dad have 5 kids all together.
• I met Salina's younger sister and she's not bad.
• The band has a new guitarist because their old guitarist lost his job and had to mave back with his mom in Las Vegas. (It's funny because the guitarist is late 30s/early 40s and living with his mom.)
• Salina's mom did a cover of Kelly Clarkson's Walk Away, which gave me chills.
• Salina's mom did a cover of Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl during which she made out with one of her chick friends in the audience! (Keep in mind she's technically a grandma!)

Smallville Season 10 Finale

I did my 18th day of my current heavy lifting regiment at the gym. I've noticed I've been able to finish closer to the ideal time of 45 minutes.

I rocked at guitar practice.

I watched an all new Degrassi. Tough guy, gay Riley finally came out that he's gay. Yay.

And then, it was time: Smallville season 10 finale! Cyborg, the Black Canary, Hawk Man, and Star Girl all guest-starred! And it ends with Clark Kent stabbing himself with a dagger made of blue kryptonite (which makes him human) and falling to his doom in a Messianic kind of way! To be continued.

I cancelled bowling with Arthur and his friends that he introduced me to on our Birthdays to hang out with Mark. Mark and Erica used to bowl all the time, so he didn't feel like going since he broke up with her. Our following text conversation:

MARK: If you wanna go bowlin. Go for it bro.
RYAN: No. Bros before hoes. In this case, bowling's the ho.
MARK: Lol are you sure man?? It really is ok bro. If you really wanna go, go for it man. Im still gonna love u regardless
RYAN: What part of bros before hoes don't you understand? In the mean time, you should check out the Smallville season finale right now.

We went to hookah at Cafe-O. There was this chick with dark, shoulder length hair. Cute face. She was with a group of chicks playing cards. She was even dancing in her seat to whatever the place was playing. She's in my database. If only this was a porn flick, we would've had some cheesy dialogue about cards, started dancing together, but somehow ended up in the restroom (where I was puking a couple weeks ago on my BDay), and bow chick wow wow.

Then there was a waitress with long, blond and wavy hair. She caught me looking at her and was like, "I'll be with you guys in one second." But we'd already been served. And now I got her voice as audio along with the rest of her in my database.

We had to bounce after Mark got a text message from his sister that his mom was crying. Mental note: Vanilla Peach hookah is the best. Ended the night by busting a #3 to said girls.

Terminator and Philosophy

I ran for half an hour on a treadmill at the gym. Then went to LSAT prep class at night. It was chill. We surprisingly finished early, so I went mallratting at the Americana. I called up Eugene and we made plans to finally go to Renaissance Faire for the weekend of the 22nd and 23rd. Meanwhile, I stumbled across some book called Terminator and Philosophy. I skimmed through it, but they got stuff about time travel wrong, so I dismissed it.

Charley horse cramps in both calves wouldn't stop me from squatting with weights

I woke up with a charley horse cramp in my calf, but managed to go back to sleep ... only to wake up later with ANOTHER charley horse cramp in the other calf! That's both calves with charley horse cramps! But that wouldn't stop me from squatting with weights at the gym today.

I was preparing a sweet bagel, in which I would spread Greek yogurt, when I accidentally cut my finger with a knife! Can this day get any worse so early?

I watched last night's Glee on Hulu.com. Then did my 17th day of this current heavy lifting regiment at the gym.

I did some LSAT practice on my own like a good little boy.

My mommy dragged me to church with her despite it being Wednesday. She also stayed for confession afterward.

But at least she took me to Red Robin for dinner. Yay. I tried this new burger patty melt that they have, but had my usual freckled lemonade.

I came home in time for The Ultimate Fighter. Still watching Spike TV right now.

Mental note: Hoegaarden bottles are the thickest

Guro and I had our Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training today at 1:00PM. His roommate Cynthia was there, chillin' with a book. It was just more review but spent most of the time drilling Lock and Block.

I accidentally brought the wrong book to LSAT prep class. Some chick named Morgan (obviously not to be confused with my buddy Morgan) who sits next to Ginger was explaining how more alcohol cures a hangover, describing it as a slow withdrawal and labeling this information as "College 101." Also, seeing the side of Ginger's face more closely, I was able to add more accurate details to my database.

BRADY: I live down this street, but that way.
RYAN: Oh, so walking distance?
BRADY: Yeah, but I wouldn't walk. There's a bunch of crackheads out at night because I live across the street from a rehab center. I'd have like something in my pocket if I had to be out.
RYAN: Those are m Vegas tactics. Whenever I have to walk back to my hotel at 4 in the morning, I always make sure I have an empty beer bottle in my back pocket.
BRADY: The best ones are those Hoegaarden bottles. They're the thickest. I dropped one from six stories high ... and it just bounced!

BRADY: I lost like $200 in 20 minutes. Where do you go gambling in Vegas?
RYAN: I don't go gambling. I just go drinking.
BRADY: [Laughs.] That works.

After class, Ginger and I ended up walking on opposite sides of the street at the same pace and distance. I saw where she parks and what kind of vehicle she drives (I think it's some kind of SUV). Database.

I came home for WWE NXT, a.k.a. The "American Dragon" Bryan "Daniel Bryan" Danielson Show. And this promo sent shivers down my spine ...



Then I went to the gym late at night for the 1st time in months. I saw Iam, Victor, and Dennis who works the graveyard shift at the front desk.

Class on Sunday wasn't a typo after all

Guro had to reschedule our Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training today for tomorrow. I bought my mommy a Mother's Day card (even though Mother's Day was yesterday) and then did my 16th day of this heavy lifting regiment at the gym.

I went to my LSAT tutoring with Sissy at 2:30PM. I then found out that we now have Sundays added to our class schedule as of yesterday. That means I missed class for the 1st time as I was at PWG yesterday.

RYAN: I really thought that was a typo!
SISSY: No, there are no typos here.

RYAN: This weekend was practically one long day. As soon as class ended last Saturday, I had to begin a day of errands, which culminated in me watching these MMA fights, which culminated in me going home at 5 in the morning.
SISSY: So you wouldn't have been able to come to class on Sunday anyway even if you knew!

RYAN: I can't believe I can't be hung over on Sundays anymore.
SISSY: You can drink to your heart's content on June 8! (The day after the LSAT.)

Afterward, I visited Brian at the GNC to catch up on a couple weeks of stories.

And then I gave my mommy her Mother's Day card, pretending that it was in my trunk the whole time and only forgot to give it to her yesterday. Ended the night with WWE Raw.

Saw my new nephew Tristan for the 1st time; Pot Wrestling Guerrilla/Pro Wrestling Ganja

Mommy woke me up after only a few hours of sleep. We went to some restaurant at CSUN, that wasn't built yet when I attended school there, for Mother's Day. Cousin Ned found that place. I saw my new nephew Tristan for the 1st time. Then we found out that Auntie Bella, my mommy's sister who I rarely get along with, lost her purse when she left it in a parking lot. This prompted us to recount stories such as when she left her bags of groceries at a parking lot and when she forgot to close her trunk and her groceries flew everywhere into the street. Haha. Moral of the story: She's senile.

Matt and I later went to PWG. The 101 wasn't moving, so I detoured into the 170, exited Sherman Way and took the streets the rest of the way. I feel like such a bad ass being able to do that!

We met Samantha in line. That chick who wears the flower in her hair (and whom I've busted a #3 to before) was in the audience. Also the chick with the braided pigtails from last time. And some new chick sitting next to her who was also jackoffable. And then the chick where I had to text an absent Chad ...

Yo! Too bad you're not at PWG right now. That chick we both jack off to is here. And she's drunk, flipping off wrestlers, and screaming. Plus, beer.

He responded ...

How is the show? I already regret not going. Same as last time.

The asian bartender was there again. But Lisa was absent again. Boo. But she memorized that I always get a pitcher of Sam Adams. Today, they had Summer Ale.

RYAN: Lisa ditched you again today?
ASIAN BARTENDER: [Rolls eyes] Something about having to be with her mother today.

I finally found out the asian bartender's name is (don't know how to spell it, but she pronounced it as re-shawn).

Oh, and the dude taking tickets at the front door thinks Matt and I are brothers. We're going to roll with it in a Dudley Boys-sort-of-way.

But the main story of the night is: The majority of PWG's fanbase have become marijuana-users, coincidentally when Paul London started wrestling regularly. I took my piss break during Chris Hero's entrance and some dude was pissing next to me ...

RYAN: I intentionally took my piss break now during Chris Hero's entrance.
DUDE: I know. He sucks.
RYAN: I know.
DUDE: Dude, I'm gonna smoke in the stall. Do you want a hit?

Damn, sucks for quitting. And then later Matt went to the restroom and while peeing in the stall someone was knocking on the door like, "Hey, if you're smoking in there, can I have a hit?"

We went to a Denny's afterward where the waitress got Matt's order all wrong that he told me, "If I see you leave a tip on the table for her, I'll smash this glass on your head!" So no tip.

The longest Saturday

I showed up for a practice test at my LSAT class. I passed by Jackie and said to myself, Haha ... I jacked off to you last night. I took the empty seat in front of Ginger and said to myself, I'ma jack off to you later. (Again, I don't use codewords when I talk to myself.)

On Vanessa's side of the room, they were having some weird conversation with words like "vasectomy."

GINGER: What kind of conversation are they having over there?
RYAN: (Turning to Ginger) That's what I was thinking!

I technically talked to her! Score!

VANESSA: ... I found the best way to ignore him was just to be drunk.
RYAN: Are you talking about drinking over there?
VANESSA: Yeah.
RYAN: [Fist pump] Yes!
JUAN: Are you hung over right now?
RYAN: Not right now.
JANIE: Tomorrow?
RYAN: Yeah.
JANIE: A Mother's Day buzz? (Joking) Thank you mom for bringing me into this world!

After the practice test, surprisingly the normally introverted Jackie spoke to me! Just basically about how she's not confident about taking the test next month, blah, blah, blah ... But still!

Then did my 15th day of my current weight lifting regiment. Mark met me at my house. We rolled out. A few errands: Sam Adams Cherry Wheat beer, dropped off a guitar payment where they offered me coffee that burned the taste buds off my tongue, and stepped inside the church for a few minutes so I could tell my mommy that I went. Then off to Simi Valley to watch the UFC fights with an old friend named Michael where he just bought a new house.

Backstory: I met Michael at Coyote Ugly in Las Vegas 2 Decembers ago. He was with these 2 chicks - Peggy and Mackenzie (they're cousins). Mackenzie was younger than me, but had a daughter and was taking a "break" from her marriage. I hooked up with Mackenzie.

So it was my 1st time seeing Michael since then. I broke diet as I had pizza, stuffed crust pizza, pasta, beer, and wine.

Afterward, I stopped by Brandon, Morgan, and Hasel's place where I introduced them to Mark. I had some Kraken & Coke and more beer. They had some of the people from their last party (see entry 3-28-10). And then that chick Caroline from said last party walked in with a 12-pack of Heineken.

BRANDON: [High-fives me] I did not fuck up!

Inside joke: Last time, AFTER Caroline left, Morgan said, "I forgot to tell you guys, she was nobody's chick. You guys could've banged her." And we flipped out, "You're telling us this NOW?" And Morgan said, "I fucked up, I fucked up."

Caroline was kind off snobbish, though. Fuck that. I shall punish her by busting a #3 to her later.

When I got home, I busted a #3 to Caroline as promised.

1st time seeing her with a headband, so I busted a #3 to her ... Twice.

I ran for half an hour on the treadmill at the gym. Man I was drenched.

I watched an all new Degrassi before heading to do reconnaissance at the Red Robin. Jazz was there and it was my 1st time seeing her with a headband. It was a sparkly headband. I was able to see more of her face for the 1st time because she always has bangs. This new 1st impression gave me a massive boner.

I got home in time for an all new Smallville. This episode featured the return of Annette O'Toole as Clark Kent/Superman's mom Martha Kent. I once saw a video clip of Annette O'Toole topless in some movie when she was younger. She's much older now, but I'd still hit it.

Then caught the 2nd hour of WWE Smackdown before finishing the night with busting a #3 to Jazz ... Twice. And then I even added Jackie from my LSAT class.

Randomly remembered Barbara today

I did my 14th day of this current heavy lifting regiment at the gym.

I remembered an old friend named Barbara and busted a #3 to her.

I ate a Subway sandwich before going to my LSAT class. I sat where Jackie normally sits in the front because she wasn't there yet when I got there (even though I arrived 25 minutes late). When Jackie arrived, she sat at the back alone. Wow. Just, wow. She's always been introverted. I'm busting a #3 to her next time with a rough sex scenario as punishment for her introvertedness.

SISSY: What kind of a question stem is this? (Referring to a 4 star/difficult question)
BRADY: Fucked.
JUAN: Conversational blue balls.
SISSY: You two are on a time-out tonight!

Oh, and this other guy Mike (not to be confused with the other Mike I ran into yesterday) says that Wahoo's Fish Tacos across the street has $2 Tecate beers. Other than that, Beatrize and Ginger were both absent. Boo. Hopefully they show up Saturday so I can renew them in my database.

Hooray for Mexicans making frenchies cry

Happy Cinco de Drinko. I started the day with watching last night's Glee on Hulu.com.

I burned 493.7 calories at the gym in a distance of 4.70 miles. Some songs on the sound system that helped were Pat Benatar's All Fired Up, Kenny Loggins' Danger Zone, and Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire.

I saw Mike, an old acting classmate of mine, at the gym. He shared that he went to Pepperdine for law school back in 2001, but it took him 2 years to realize it wasn't for him and he dropped out.

I took a practice LSAT exam at home. It was horrible because I kept getting interrupted by phone calls.

Then found out that my lesbian friends Judy and Lauren broke up! But they're married! They can't break up! But they did.

I ended the night with American Idol and The Ultimate Fighter.

Procrastination made no difference

After taking an extended weekend break, I returned to the gym to do my 13th day of this new heavy lifting regiment.

I temporarily rescheduled all my guitar practices to 3:30PM on Fridays. Worked on my LSAT homework. Finally decided to register for the LSAT exam on June 7 ... since today was the deadline. Found out I had to register for the Law School Admissions Council (LSAC) first. Ok. Did that. At least that was free. Then was able to register for the LSAT ... and that damn registration was $136! I was supposed to register as soon as possible in case the locations closest to my house filled up quickly. But ironically, the only location that was still available was the closest to my house. So procrastination is not always bad. Then went to my LSAT prep class.

SISSY: Everyone welcome Ryan back to the real world. (Referring to my Birthday weekend.)

JANIE: So how was your Birthday?
RYAN: (Sigh) Too much fun.
JANIE: I've never heard that one before.
(Well she must be sheltered.)

After class, I told Ben about my Saturday (Birthday).

RYAN: So this bartender made his hot wife kiss me. And then he was like, "That was sloppy. Do it again." So she kissed me again, better. And then I walked in on my friend Richard having a conversation with his friends - a boyfriend/girlfriend couple - where the dude said, "Rich, we're gonna get you laid. If we fail, my girlfriend will just have sex with you."
BEN: Quite the liberal bar.

Just another Tuesday night ending with WWE NXT, a.k.a. "The American Dragon" Bryan "Daniel Bryan" Danielson Show.

The mother of a girl I used to bust a #3 to inadvertently talked me off

Guro and I had Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training at 10:30AM. I basically learned 3 counters plus 1 disarm for every angle of attack, all of which I'll have to know for my Basics Instructor rank. And then reviewed Lock and Block.

RYAN: [Fan blocks a stick shot aimed at groin]
GURO: And what is that called?
RYAN: Jon taught it to me as "the Oh Shit" block.
GURO: Ok, that sounds like something Jon would come up with.

And then, the most awkward moment happened:

Remember last summer when I was videotaping rock bands at a house party and I started talking to Salina, a singer for one of the bands? Well, I was busting a #3 when Salina's mom called me up out of the blue! She was hiring me to record one of their upcoming performances. I didn't want to risk blue balls, so I couldn't stop. But I didn't want to finish to this either, so I slowed down. It was just fucked up that I had done this, busting a #3, to her daughter before!

RYAN: I just had the most fucked up moment. Remember how I was working for these bands last summer?
MATT: Yeah, that singer chick, right?
RYAN: Exactly! Her mom just called me up while I was masturbating!
MATT: You didn't stop, did you?
RYAN: No, I didn't wanna risk blue balls, so I had to handle the entire business phone call while masturbating!

Sissy pushed our LSAT tutoring back one hour to 4:30PM.

SISSY: So how was your Birthday?
RYAN: I have gaps in memory here and there.
SISSY: I expected you to say something like, "I don't recall."

My mommy was craving Rubio's Mexican food, so we ate there. Same workers were working. They know us by now. But I tried a steak burrito instead of my usual enchilada plate. I mall-ratted at the Americana before going home for WWE Raw.

The day after my Birthday

I was so damn hungover. My mommy and I went to church really late. Ate lunch at Burger King. Took a nap. Felt better. Then went to Sizzlers in Northridge for dinner with the rest of the family. The staff sang Happy Birthday to me. Yay. Cousin Kristian and I rode in cousin Kathy's BMW "like gangsters" to hang out at cousins Janine and Jillian's house while the women shopped at Walmart. Yeah, today was just a come-down day.

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear me, Happy Birthday to me

You know what's awesome? Busting a #3 while so wasted that your penis is almost numb, so you last a lot longer.

I arrived at my LSAT class at 11:30AM (it started at 10:00AM), proudly in my pajamas AND carrying cupcakes! I was able to spot Ben smiling at me through the tinted windows. I ran into Beatrize in the hallway.

BEATRIZE: Hey, you're late.
(Oh, like she's one to talk. She's arrived at noon for this 10:00 class.)
RYAN: It's my Birthday.
BEATRIZE: It's your Birthday? [Hugs me.]
I got a boner.
RYAN: I'm hungover.
BEATRIZE: I can tell. [On her phone] There's this guy in my class, it's his Birthday and he brought us cupcakes. He's so sweet.
RYAN: Yes, I am.

I walked into class ...

EVERYONE: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

That seriously startled me. Ben had arranged that.

VANESSA: I like your Ralph Lauren pajamas.
RYAN: Thanks.
GINGER: Are these cupcakes gonna make class more fun?
RYAN: Why, yes they are.

I wouldn't tell anyone how old I was.

BEN: He's 19.
SISSY: He can't be. He was drunk!
GINGER: That doesn't mean anything!
SISSY: Wait a minute, a whole room of wannabe-lawyers can't --
BRADY: We're defense attorneys.
SISSY: But you shouldn't have to defend yourselves.

Then I slept-walked through our quiz. I kept getting text messages greeting me. Ben sung his rendition of Birthday Text to the tune of Birthday Sex.

SISSY: Did you finish your quiz?
RYAN: No.
SISSY: Did you even start?
RYAN: Yeah, yeah.
SISSY: Just making sure.

JACKIE: Did you make these?
RYAN: Well, I put extra sprinkling on them, so I guess I can take some credit.
JACKIE: These are really good!

Score!

Mommy and I went to Olive Garden for lunch. Our waitress' name was Sofya P (according to the receipt). She was really cute in that girl-next-door sort of way. She's in my database. She even sang Happy Birthday to me and volunteered to take my pics with my cake with my camera phone. I need to honor her by blowing the hugest load to her.

I went to circle around the Red Robin and saw Jazz. Now it's a Birthday! She's renewed in my database.

Richard took me to a bar called The Scene in North Hollywood. It has the coolest bartender/owner. His name's Doc. He gave me a free shot of Jager ("You're doing Jager whether you like it or not!") to start my night and later a free beer on tap to end my night. Other than an Incredible Hulk, I can't remember the other drinks I had. But there were many. Richard introduced me to two more of his friends - Brian (obviously not the same as Brian at the GNC) and Karren - a boyfriend/girlfriend couple. Karren bought me a drink.

BRIAN: Guess what I did for my Birthday?
KARREN: He had a 3-some.
RYAN: How the hell do I have a 3-some one time, but not for my Birthday?
BRIAN: You need to get a bisexual girlfriend.

This cool guy named Garry was bashing people's song choices on kareoke. This lesbian was wearing a Kid Rock shirt and rocked some Kid Rock on kareoke. And then there was some blond chick in a blue blouse, short shorts, and boots.

BRIAN: She's hot.
RYAN: She's so in my database.
KARREN: [Laughs.]
BRIAN: You mean your spank bank?

BRIAN: Richard, we need to get you laid this one night. If we fail, Karren will just have sex with you.

Then I met Doc's wife Bonnie.

DOC: Do you have a girlfriend?
RYAN: Define "girlfriend."
BONNIE: I like that!

And then Doc made his hot wife Bonnie kiss me for my Birthday.

DOC: That was sloppy! Do it again!

Twice.

Richard and I took Brian and Karren home, pulled over somewhere to pee and throw up, and I passed out at home before I can even extract my database. Boo.