Silver balls

I was at the gym. There's this personal trainer there named Debbie. She's a red head, but her red looked brighter today. Obviously new hair dye. She has slight wrinkles on her eyes, but not quite old enough to be a cougar. I've busted a #3 to her before. She was training a client when I saw a silver workout ball next to her.

RYAN: Are you using this ball?
DEBBIE: No, I'm not. You may. Thanks for asking.

Holy crap. We exchanged dialogue. That's, like, verbal-fucking, or something like that. But then later she needed to use the silver ball for her client. So then we were talking about when I'd be done with the silver ball and in my mind I was laughing everytime we said "ball."

DEBBIE: (Seeing a quarter) Ooh, a quarter-- I'm such a Jew. [Laughs]

I gotta say, them Jews have some cute chicks. This is the part where Matt would tell me off, "How could you find a Jewish girl attractive?" Everytime I saw Debbie bend over to demonstrate an exercise to her client, I thought about how the droogs from A Clockwork Orange would have the "old in-out-in-out," as they put it. She's renewed in my database.

Then there was this blond chick, but I could see her roots growing out. [Cough] Bottle blond! [Cough] She was dressed more for sex than the gym. Her white top barely covered her breasts. She had gray sweats that for some reason said "Pink" on the ass and white Nike sneakers that my FCS professor would've called her "fucking shoes." I couldn't tell if she was causasian or 1 of those armenians who look caucasian. But if she was armo, I'd "in-out-in-out" her only out of spite. As she bent over to do her deadlifts, I put her in my database.

Other than that, I visited Brian at the GNC. That annoying kid Emmanuel was there. He doesn't know the difference between ring fighting and real fighting.

EMMANUEL: But what if I grab the bat before you swing it at me?
RYAN: I'd kick you in the balls.
EMMANUEL: But isn't that a bitch move?
RYAN AND BRIAN: There's no such thing as a "bitch move!"

And the next chapter of my Quarter-Life Crisis ...

RYAN: I don't give a fuck. I'm just gonna say it: I'm signing up for Ballet.
BRIAN: So you're going from Krav Maga, or fucking people up ... to Ballet?!

Later after some thought ...

BRIAN: You're gonna get some pussy there!