It's now 11:00PM Tuesday (U.S.A.)/3:00PM Wednesday (Philippines) - exactly the 1 week anniversary of the now legendary jujitsu match. To comemorate, I'm playing Taylor Swift's Love Story because it happened to play during the event and was sung along to by 1 of the people present. Weird, I know.
Anyway, last night, some chick was cowgirl on me while other chicks watched. I reversed to get on top of her ... and then I felt my body in the real world bust a #3. My mind was quickly sucked back into the real world as well and I opened my eyes. Yeah, it turned out to be a dream. The clock read 2:43AM. I tossed my underwear into my secret laundry for these occasions, changed into a new one and fell back to sleep.
I woke up at 6:45AM. Normally, I'd continue sleeping until I've had 8 hours. But this new "machine" Ryan - who's still in progress - got up, drank 4 glasses of water, finally returned to stock trading (since yesterday was closed), and went to the gym to work out pull muscles (with the exception of hips, which are push muscles). I'm still lost at the gym since everything was rearranged while I was gone. But all this was accomplished by noon. Nigga what!
I visited Brian at the GNC. He made fun of armos. Always fun to listen to. He shared a story of how some short bass player tried to instigate a fight with Mario because Mario couldn't see without his glasses. Mario beat him up (via faceplant after kicking out his leg) and also broke the glasses of the instigator's friend. And then I finally met this 40-something-year-old chick named Lana that Brian always talks about as she walked in ...
LANA: Blah, blah, blah ... [looks at me] Hey, he's cute.
BRIAN: Oh, that's Ryan. He just came back to the country. He was gone for a while.
LANA: Oh, welcome back.
[Standing behind the counter, my left hand reaches down my pants and begins jerking my dragon]
LANA: Blah, blah, blah ... heroin blah, blah, blah ... oxycotton ... My husband's going to jail soon and he's gonna start talking about the stuff I've done, so I gotta get rid of these marks (on arms).
[Finally she was leaving]
LANA: (at me) Nice meeting you. (at Brian) See you later. [closes door]
BRIAN: So that was ... [walking around the counter]
RYAN: Wait, don't --
BRIAN: [seeing my hand down my pants] AHHH!
RYAN: Um, yeah, I'd hit it.
BRIAN: So that was Lana, whom I've always talked about. She's a heroin addict. She's got boyfriends and a husband. She has a daughter, but she's a lesbian.
RYAN: Is she cute?
BRIAN: No. The lesbian daughter's girlfriend is cuter. Anyway, there was a time when Lana came in here and she was like, "Don't hug me. My husband's in the car. He thinks I'm here to give you a blowjob."
I was about to buy a Subway sandwich when my mommy offered dinner. We went to Granville Cafe. I had my usual Rustic Rib Eye sandwich with sweet potato fries. I tried the tortilla soup and berry lemonade. It wasn't bad. Like I said before, the boss must be a dude because almost every employee at Granville is a jackoffable chick.
I went back to visit Brian at the GNC. A few dudes were there talking about something that I guessed correctly.
RYAN: Are you talking about pheromones?
BRIAN: Exactly! Even he knows about it.
This kid, Saul, needed advice to talk to this chick. Brian bragged about me.
BRIAN: This guy (me) is on a tear! He made out with a lesbian last year who had a girlfriend!
SOME SECURITY GUARD: It's the hair! I have hair everywhere on my body except on my head, where it matters most!
RYAN: You know, you can transplant hair from your body onto your head.
BRIAN: Yeah, have some pubes on your head.
There's no more free parking from Monday-Thursday at the Americana. The management must be fucking jewish. But I read some magazine called Teen Prom with Ashley Greene (Alice Cullen on Twilight) on the cover at Barnes & Noble. I was knocking out because the chair was so comfy and I've been up since 6:45AM.
Mommy's talking to dad in the Philippines on the phone right now. Dad was talking to me ... until Malou had something "urgent" to tell my mommy. They're talking about recent happenings in Filipino soap operas now. Oh, and somehow my Twilight shirt got mixed with my dad's laundry and is still in the Philippines. I'll have to have them Fed-Ex it to me. But to commemorate the now legendary jujitsu match, I leave you with Taylor Swift's Love Story:
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