♫ Josie's on a vacation far away ♪

Day #6 in the Philippines. (Not déjà vu - Author's note: Even if you are seeing this for the first time as of 1/6/11 regardless of the time stamp to conform with updating daily.)

Gosh darn it! Cliff-diving was unavailable due to terrain problems! Blue balls!

I went jet-skiing for the first time in my life. The only time I've remotely gone jet-skiing was as a video game character in the Grand Theft Auto series. The first thing I did was drive in the wrong direction and it stalled every few minutes, but once I was able to drive it like a professional - albeit not until the final few minutes - I sang out loud to the open sea The Outfield's 1986 hit Your Love.

♫ Josie's on a vacation far away ♪ Come around and talk it over ♬

White chicks were totally eye-fucking me! It makes sense that, since they were traveling to the land of my ethnicity after all, I would be their ideal. I don't get that kind of love in euro-centric Hollywood. Cue CM Punk's theme music, Living Colour's Cult of Personality!

I redeemed my complimentary welcome drink ticket for a Pineapple Cooler (blue curacao, pineapple, coconut, fresh milk) as I updated my My Facebook status:

Day #6 in the Philippines. Finally have internet access here in Boracay. Just found out this island's been voted 2nd best tourist spot in the world. Going back to the city tomorrow. But first, strutting like a werewolf god among these white chicks.

The people who "thumbs-up'd" it: Crystal from high school, Samantha from PWG, and Heather's sister Naomi. I had a boner for the latter.

I bought some postcards for people and a white, thin hooded vest that I can't wait to rock in the U.S. when it get warmer this Spring-Summer.

The Filipino cover band that played while we ate dinner was descent. I might actually consider banging the chick who was one of the lead vocalists despite her possibly being a fob. Interesting note: One of the band members was with a blond chick. Yes! I love how these white chicks got love for the Filipino cock here! Take that, euro-centric homeland of Hollywood!

Speaking of which, two white girls were totally eye-fucking me as I walked past them on the beach. After a few paces, I turned around ... and they were STILL eye-fucking me! YES! I repeat: Take that euro-centric homeland of Hollywood.