Enter the Duane, Return of the Gypsy

I had to miss Top Rocking class today, despite it usually being the highlight of my week. Why? Because I was at a free self defense seminar in LA. I ended up being the only person who showed up, though a little kid would join mid-class with his dad's permission. Due to my FMA background, the instructor, Duane, and his assistant, Art, were able to show me intermediate stuff. In no particular order:

• He says that the most valuable FMA drills in his opinion were sumbrada, numerado, and serrada. Everything is variations of those.
• In a knife fight: Triangulate backward instead of forward. And counter to the outside, rarely to the inside. (I had been triangulating forward and alternating between outside and inside.)
• Hold the knife like a flashlight (knuckles down) and close to the body, similar to how a fencer holds the saber.
• Common targets are eyes, throat, groin, and shins.
• Defensive stance has triceps horizontal to nose level to try to crush attacker's punches with elbows.
• When hair is grabbed, pin the attacker's grabbing hand first to prevent attacker's attempts at whip-lashing and then counter with what I already know. (One counter had my shin behind his ankle and then collapsing it into the concrete.)
• Clinching drills to fight for centerline: 1) Continuously countering a bearhug. 2) Trying to secure a Muay Thai clinch from the collar-and-elbow-tie-up.
• Countering a Muay Thai clinch by trapping over both hands and into a headbutt. (He executed his headbutts with feet together and bending knees to lower center of gravity.)
• Bearhug from behind can be countered by pulling feet up to lower center of gravity and then repeated groin slaps.
• Counter the rear naked choke by blocking the overlapping hand.

I rushed home to hit the showers before going to Charles' Billiards for the third Manny Pacquiao versus Juan Manuel Marquez fight. David from high school was there as always. (Not to be confused with rockstar David, bartending classmate David, nor the teacher Dave.) I was in enemy territory as tonight was a bar full of Mexicans with a small group of Filipinos at the end and me in he center, far from any possible backup. And then the proverbial shit hit the fan ... when Pacquiao won by majority decision!

The Filipinos had three white chicks with them. One of them, who had the cliche blond/blue eyes combo with long hair, is in my database for being a "minority" brave enough to cheer for the Pac-Man. And this Mexican chick with long black hair, who was annoying cursing the decision, is in my database out of spite.

Highlight of the night: I was chillin' with David when I started staring a hole through someone familiar until he finally noticed. His name's Gypsy. He was my first guitar teacher who eventually passed me onto Vahik, my current teacher.

GYPSY: Vahik's more classical than me. You can probably teach me a thing or two now.

He and his brother had no problem going against the grain (for them anyway) and cheering for Pacquiao. I found out that he was into Law before he even met me. He gave me a crash course to help make law school simpler as long as I think about it in the following terms:

• There is something outside you and I that allows us to exist. Some people call it air, God, Natural Law, etc.
• The Bible is more of a Law, Astrology, and Numerology book than a religious book.
• If you were to experience something Incomprehensible, along the lines of God, you might die. Hence, God's communication through the forms of angels, prophets, evangelists, and miracles.
• The phrase, "God made man in His image," is not to be taken literally. God can create out of nothingness, but so can man (i.e. airplanes), just not instantaneously. Therefore, the statement holds true.
• The created may accomplish greater things than the creator, but not be greater than the creator. For example: 1) Parents giving life. 2) The government cannot be greater than the people because without the people there would be no government.
• Everything in life is a contract. For example, "Hi. My name is ..." (Translation: Offer/Claim.) Shaking hands symbolizes acceptance of that offer/claim, as if saying, "I accept that you are who you say you are."
• There are four kinds of acceptances: 1) unconditional, 2) conditional, 3) silence, 4) defend yourself. The first two are considered honorable. The last are dishonorable and warlike.
• Example of conditional: An invited guest storms into your home and yells in front of everybody, "You're an idiot." You respond, "I'll accept your offer if you can explain how you yelling at me in front of everyone doesn't make you a bigger idiot."
• There are only three real laws: 1) Don't harm, 2) Don't destroy property, and 3) Don't commit fraud. All the 66 million laws, give or take, are variations of those three.
• In response to a professor at a law school open house who said, "My name is [Author's note: I forget]. I'm happy to be here. (Pause.) Do you believe me?" he would answer, "I acknowledge your existence and that you are who you say you are and that you are happy to be here because there is no evidence to dispute it.

RYAN: I'll admit, just a guilty pleasure, sometimes I'll carry my guitar around with me at the mall just for chicks to check me out.
GYPSY: My uncle's first lesson to me was: This [guitar] will get you laid.
RYAN: That was our first day of class!
GYPSY: And did it work?
RYAN: How funny would it be to get you for fraud if it didn't work!

I stopped by the teacher Dave's afterward because I was hungry and needed beer. He fixed me some cheddar rice, a somewhat modified Philly cheese steak with ketchup and jalapenos, and Sam Adams.