Day #9 in the Philippines. (Not déjà vu - Author's note: Even if you are seeing this for the first time as of 1/6/11 regardless of the time stamp to conform with updating daily.)
Sheila's in-laws are here at our ancestral house. There's more of them. From what I've been eavesdropping on, some of them are from the U.S. There's this one really skinny guy that's either emo or hipster - sometimes I can't tell the difference - who's wearing a jean vest, boots, and has butterfly tattoos on the side of his neck. The adults are making fun of him behind his back. Conversely, I'm making fun of him in silence ... Who the heck wears boots in the Philippines? (Although, I think the uptight adults are making fun of him for being "obviously gay" and not for his boots.)
I just found Niels, my Top Rocking classmate whom I last saw on 10/29/11 before he went back to Amsterdam, on Facebook. He's already messaged me back. Yay.
Cousin Philip paid the technician extra to come in tonight to fix the wireless internet.
There's some fancy caterers downstairs. We're actually drinking out of goblets. While in Boracay, I discovered something called Tanduay Ice. I'm on my second one right now. But cousin Philip, the big bad ass attorney who's made headlines for putting celebrities away in jail, is already drunk off only one bottle!
Time to go light some fireworks.
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Friday, December 30, 2011
That awkward moment when you're buying fireworks and the sex workers are across the block
Day #8 in the Philippines. (Not déjà vu - Author's note: Even if you are seeing this for the first time as of 1/6/11 regardless of the time stamp to conform with updating daily.)
I had a dream last night that I was doing a database run at the mall in my regular stomping grounds back home. There were some inaccuracies, though: Carissa, who in real life is the manager at Hot Topic, was working at Brookstone. I think she was wearing a green top. Also, in the dream, Brookstone was on the first floor whereas in real life it's on the second floor. And some random guy whom I don't recognize in real life said, "What's up," to me. End of dream.
We were at the Trinoma mall and the baby nieces couldn't finish their McDonalds, so I finished it for them.
Due to the time difference between the Philippines and the U.S., I have to wait until tomorrow for UFC 141 to air and then a while more to look for it online afterward.
Cousin Philip enlisted my help to choose fireworks. Conveniently, someone, probably a fireworks addict, had already uploaded videos of almost each brand in action on Youtube.com. The driver Bernie, dad's former caretaker Apyong, cousin Philip, and I rolled out. Mental note: There's a Papa John's Pizza across the street from the fireworks vendor.
I had a dream last night that I was doing a database run at the mall in my regular stomping grounds back home. There were some inaccuracies, though: Carissa, who in real life is the manager at Hot Topic, was working at Brookstone. I think she was wearing a green top. Also, in the dream, Brookstone was on the first floor whereas in real life it's on the second floor. And some random guy whom I don't recognize in real life said, "What's up," to me. End of dream.
We were at the Trinoma mall and the baby nieces couldn't finish their McDonalds, so I finished it for them.
Due to the time difference between the Philippines and the U.S., I have to wait until tomorrow for UFC 141 to air and then a while more to look for it online afterward.
Cousin Philip enlisted my help to choose fireworks. Conveniently, someone, probably a fireworks addict, had already uploaded videos of almost each brand in action on Youtube.com. The driver Bernie, dad's former caretaker Apyong, cousin Philip, and I rolled out. Mental note: There's a Papa John's Pizza across the street from the fireworks vendor.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
"Saint Nicholas"
Day #7 in the Philippines. (Not déjà vu - Author's note: Even if you are seeing this for the first time as of 1/6/11 regardless of the time stamp to conform with updating daily.)
We did some island hopping in the morning. We almost had to turn back because of strong winds. Everyone was in favor of turning around, cousin Philip was undecided, but I was the only one who implied, "Man up." We kept moving.
On one island, the wind blew off one of mommy's diamond earrings. Everyone searched a long time for it until ten-year-old nephew, Nicholas, used knowledge of physics to pinpoint and locate it. He has been nicknamed "Saint Nicholas." Only ten-years-old ... And what are you doing with your life?
Later, while we anchored the boat so that a few can go snorkeling, some canoe pulled up to sell ice cream. I repeat, they sell ice cream in the ocean here. Dope.
On the boat ride back to the airport, I sat next to some butch-looking chick with an unidentifiable European accent, though she was speaking English, and who looked like she was trying to grow a mullet. She was probably the weirdest tourist I've seen.
Back on the mainland, we were eating in some rundown restaurant when three-year-old niece, "Princess" Maxine, tried to lay down the law again.
MAXINE: Ayaw ko dito! (I don't like it here!)
COUSIN-IN-LAW MALOU: Where do you want?
MAXINE: Trinoma!
Trinoma is a fancy mall. God help everyone when this three-year-old "princess" gets older. Anyway, our flight was delayed.
RYAN: (Sarcastically) Cool!
COUSIN SHEILA: (Oblivious to sarcasm) No, it's not!
We did some island hopping in the morning. We almost had to turn back because of strong winds. Everyone was in favor of turning around, cousin Philip was undecided, but I was the only one who implied, "Man up." We kept moving.
On one island, the wind blew off one of mommy's diamond earrings. Everyone searched a long time for it until ten-year-old nephew, Nicholas, used knowledge of physics to pinpoint and locate it. He has been nicknamed "Saint Nicholas." Only ten-years-old ... And what are you doing with your life?
Later, while we anchored the boat so that a few can go snorkeling, some canoe pulled up to sell ice cream. I repeat, they sell ice cream in the ocean here. Dope.
On the boat ride back to the airport, I sat next to some butch-looking chick with an unidentifiable European accent, though she was speaking English, and who looked like she was trying to grow a mullet. She was probably the weirdest tourist I've seen.
Back on the mainland, we were eating in some rundown restaurant when three-year-old niece, "Princess" Maxine, tried to lay down the law again.
MAXINE: Ayaw ko dito! (I don't like it here!)
COUSIN-IN-LAW MALOU: Where do you want?
MAXINE: Trinoma!
Trinoma is a fancy mall. God help everyone when this three-year-old "princess" gets older. Anyway, our flight was delayed.
RYAN: (Sarcastically) Cool!
COUSIN SHEILA: (Oblivious to sarcasm) No, it's not!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
♫ Josie's on a vacation far away ♪
Day #6 in the Philippines. (Not déjà vu - Author's note: Even if you are seeing this for the first time as of 1/6/11 regardless of the time stamp to conform with updating daily.)
Gosh darn it! Cliff-diving was unavailable due to terrain problems! Blue balls!
I went jet-skiing for the first time in my life. The only time I've remotely gone jet-skiing was as a video game character in the Grand Theft Auto series. The first thing I did was drive in the wrong direction and it stalled every few minutes, but once I was able to drive it like a professional - albeit not until the final few minutes - I sang out loud to the open sea The Outfield's 1986 hit Your Love.
♫ Josie's on a vacation far away ♪ Come around and talk it over ♬
White chicks were totally eye-fucking me! It makes sense that, since they were traveling to the land of my ethnicity after all, I would be their ideal. I don't get that kind of love in euro-centric Hollywood. Cue CM Punk's theme music, Living Colour's Cult of Personality!
I redeemed my complimentary welcome drink ticket for a Pineapple Cooler (blue curacao, pineapple, coconut, fresh milk) as I updated my My Facebook status:
The people who "thumbs-up'd" it: Crystal from high school, Samantha from PWG, and Heather's sister Naomi. I had a boner for the latter.
I bought some postcards for people and a white, thin hooded vest that I can't wait to rock in the U.S. when it get warmer this Spring-Summer.
The Filipino cover band that played while we ate dinner was descent. I might actually consider banging the chick who was one of the lead vocalists despite her possibly being a fob. Interesting note: One of the band members was with a blond chick. Yes! I love how these white chicks got love for the Filipino cock here! Take that, euro-centric homeland of Hollywood!
Speaking of which, two white girls were totally eye-fucking me as I walked past them on the beach. After a few paces, I turned around ... and they were STILL eye-fucking me! YES! I repeat: Take that euro-centric homeland of Hollywood.
Gosh darn it! Cliff-diving was unavailable due to terrain problems! Blue balls!
I went jet-skiing for the first time in my life. The only time I've remotely gone jet-skiing was as a video game character in the Grand Theft Auto series. The first thing I did was drive in the wrong direction and it stalled every few minutes, but once I was able to drive it like a professional - albeit not until the final few minutes - I sang out loud to the open sea The Outfield's 1986 hit Your Love.
♫ Josie's on a vacation far away ♪ Come around and talk it over ♬
White chicks were totally eye-fucking me! It makes sense that, since they were traveling to the land of my ethnicity after all, I would be their ideal. I don't get that kind of love in euro-centric Hollywood. Cue CM Punk's theme music, Living Colour's Cult of Personality!
I redeemed my complimentary welcome drink ticket for a Pineapple Cooler (blue curacao, pineapple, coconut, fresh milk) as I updated my My Facebook status:
Day #6 in the Philippines. Finally have internet access here in Boracay. Just found out this island's been voted 2nd best tourist spot in the world. Going back to the city tomorrow. But first, strutting like a werewolf god among these white chicks.
The people who "thumbs-up'd" it: Crystal from high school, Samantha from PWG, and Heather's sister Naomi. I had a boner for the latter.
I bought some postcards for people and a white, thin hooded vest that I can't wait to rock in the U.S. when it get warmer this Spring-Summer.
The Filipino cover band that played while we ate dinner was descent. I might actually consider banging the chick who was one of the lead vocalists despite her possibly being a fob. Interesting note: One of the band members was with a blond chick. Yes! I love how these white chicks got love for the Filipino cock here! Take that, euro-centric homeland of Hollywood!
Speaking of which, two white girls were totally eye-fucking me as I walked past them on the beach. After a few paces, I turned around ... and they were STILL eye-fucking me! YES! I repeat: Take that euro-centric homeland of Hollywood.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
I'm basically a civilian soldier ... or a Civilian SEAL. I like the sound of that.
Day #5 in the Philippines. (Not déjà vu - Author's note: Even if you are seeing this for the first time as of 1/6/11 regardless of the time stamp to conform with updating daily.)
We left for Boracay today. Auntie Aida tagged along with us.
Within a couple of hours, we took a plane to Kalibo, took a shuttle to the docks, took a boat to Boracay's docks, and finally took another shuttle to the hotel. It's worth noting that the narrow bridge to get from the dock to the boat, during heavy winds, had no railings! Yeah, the above two hours made me feel like I was in the military on a mission. The only difference at this point is that I wasn't at risk of getting shot at. Poor nephew Nicholas had motion sickness, though.
There was this white chick on the same flight as us. She had natural blond, curly, shoulder length hair and brown eyes, unlike the cliche blond/blue combo. I was able to input a variety of details in the database from her wardrobe change (i.e. with a coat, without a coat) to seeing her tie/untie her hair.
The Boracay Regency Hotel is so nice.
We left for Boracay today. Auntie Aida tagged along with us.
Within a couple of hours, we took a plane to Kalibo, took a shuttle to the docks, took a boat to Boracay's docks, and finally took another shuttle to the hotel. It's worth noting that the narrow bridge to get from the dock to the boat, during heavy winds, had no railings! Yeah, the above two hours made me feel like I was in the military on a mission. The only difference at this point is that I wasn't at risk of getting shot at. Poor nephew Nicholas had motion sickness, though.
There was this white chick on the same flight as us. She had natural blond, curly, shoulder length hair and brown eyes, unlike the cliche blond/blue combo. I was able to input a variety of details in the database from her wardrobe change (i.e. with a coat, without a coat) to seeing her tie/untie her hair.
The Boracay Regency Hotel is so nice.
Monday, December 26, 2011
I didn't ride the horse, the horse rode me
Day #4 in the Philippines. (Not déjà vu - Author's note: Even if you are seeing this for the first time as of 1/6/11 regardless of the time stamp to conform with updating daily.)
It's mommy's Birthday today.
The kids - nieces Samantha, Maxine, Juliana, and nephew Nicholas - went strawberry picking. I bought a belated Christmas present for Mark. My mommy protested it. I'm resisting to keep it for myself. I'm definitely going to have to check it in at the airport. Before I left for the Philippines last Wednesday, I opened Mark's present for me. It was a huge Das Boot for beer. Awesome.
The kids and I went horseback riding. Rather, since I apparently didn't know how to steer the horse, the horse took its own joyride. I was just the horse's hostage.
The whole day was spent in the car.
MAXINE: Ako ng Princess. Ako ng Snow White. (I am Princess. I am Snow White.)
Cute.
Speaking of cuteness, at a gas station a possibly homeless little kid relentless sang Christmas carols to us. Most of our time at said station was looking for any spare coins or cash. Finally, I had gathered enough cash to give him, which prompted him to finally go away to search for his next caroling victim.
COUSIN PHILIP: See his smile!
It's mommy's Birthday today.
The kids - nieces Samantha, Maxine, Juliana, and nephew Nicholas - went strawberry picking. I bought a belated Christmas present for Mark. My mommy protested it. I'm resisting to keep it for myself. I'm definitely going to have to check it in at the airport. Before I left for the Philippines last Wednesday, I opened Mark's present for me. It was a huge Das Boot for beer. Awesome.
The kids and I went horseback riding. Rather, since I apparently didn't know how to steer the horse, the horse took its own joyride. I was just the horse's hostage.
The whole day was spent in the car.
MAXINE: Ako ng Princess. Ako ng Snow White. (I am Princess. I am Snow White.)
Cute.
Speaking of cuteness, at a gas station a possibly homeless little kid relentless sang Christmas carols to us. Most of our time at said station was looking for any spare coins or cash. Finally, I had gathered enough cash to give him, which prompted him to finally go away to search for his next caroling victim.
COUSIN PHILIP: See his smile!
Sunday, December 25, 2011
"Princess"
Day #3 in the Philippines. (Not déjà vu - Author's note: Even if you are seeing this for the first time as of 1/6/11 regardless of the time stamp to conform with updating daily.)
We went to Paniqui to visit dad in the cemetery as well as all relatives who had gone before us. I saw Bong for the first time since 3/10/12 when he met us there to open the crypt.
Maxine has given herself the middle name of "Princess." She's only three-years-old. God help us all when she gets older.
From there, we headed to Baguio City. I haven't been here since I was ten years old. I ate at the all-you-can-eat buffet for dinner while everyone else ordered from the menu. That Fettucini Alfredo that I was able to have the chef incorporate peppers, olives, capers, mushrooms, and tomatoes into was bomb. "Bomb," as the kids from my generation like to say; not this "for the win" crap.
We went to Paniqui to visit dad in the cemetery as well as all relatives who had gone before us. I saw Bong for the first time since 3/10/12 when he met us there to open the crypt.
Maxine has given herself the middle name of "Princess." She's only three-years-old. God help us all when she gets older.
From there, we headed to Baguio City. I haven't been here since I was ten years old. I ate at the all-you-can-eat buffet for dinner while everyone else ordered from the menu. That Fettucini Alfredo that I was able to have the chef incorporate peppers, olives, capers, mushrooms, and tomatoes into was bomb. "Bomb," as the kids from my generation like to say; not this "for the win" crap.
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