Andres cancelled Capoeira training because it might rain. It didn't rain. Oh well.
I visited Brian at the GNC. We found out that Artin, a.k.a. the "Nazi security guard," a.k.a. "Al Bundy" (among other names), also works at Cold Stones. 1) Security aren't allowed to work 2 jobs in the Glendale Marketplace due to "conflict of interest." 2) He's working at Cold Stones DURING his patrol shift as security. Yeah, he'll be caught soon and fired.
I visited mommy at the hospital using her monthly parking pass. Her blood pressure is back to normal. Uncle Oca and cousins Kristian and Kathy stopped by. And then Uncle Lando and cousins Janine and Jillian.
But on the bright side: the receptionist in the Emergency Room entrance is jackoffable. My mommy's nurse today, Dana, is also jackoffable. Database!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Mommy's in the hospital (part 1)
Yesterday, I had Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training at 11:30AM. Guro brought his roommate Cynthia. Just review. Guro says I'm breathing good by exhaling when striking, but forgetting to exhale in between strikes.
I rocked in guitar practice. Vahik and I apparently reached a stage where he was like, "You don't have to sit properly anymore. You've been here for a long time. And if you want to fart, fart." For next week, I'm playing Green Sleeves.
I visited Brian at the GNC. Johnny was there. We talked about masturbation, blah, blah, blah ...
And then mommy went to the Emergency Room for high blood pressure. Doctor Tolantino drove her even though he doesn't drive! I slept in the Emergency Room until they moved her to room 1406. I went home at 4:00AM.
I rocked in guitar practice. Vahik and I apparently reached a stage where he was like, "You don't have to sit properly anymore. You've been here for a long time. And if you want to fart, fart." For next week, I'm playing Green Sleeves.
I visited Brian at the GNC. Johnny was there. We talked about masturbation, blah, blah, blah ...
And then mommy went to the Emergency Room for high blood pressure. Doctor Tolantino drove her even though he doesn't drive! I slept in the Emergency Room until they moved her to room 1406. I went home at 4:00AM.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Woke up from a nocturnal emission
I went to bed at midnight and woke up about an hour later ... from a nocturnal emission. Before sleeping, I found pics of that chick Odais on Facebook and was admiring how Allen fucked her (see yesterday's entry). Sure enough, next thing I know I'm doing the same thing to her and I'm waking up because I have to change my pajamas! Oh, and I guess I was also thinking about Nicky's titty pics that she sent to Richard (see entry 3/17/10) as I fell asleep.
I had Filipino Martial Arts training today at 10:30AM. I thought Guro was late, but it turned out I was waiting in the wrong part of the park. Whoops.
I went home, watched some Fast and Furious on TV, Guro asked me to help him make a Martial Arts DVD, and then it was off to Capoeira training.
Only Andres, Jesse II, and Carlito showed up. We did our workout with the bars outdoors. We were locked out of the recreation room with no contact from management. Class was basically a game where we were shooting for 5 minutes, but turned out to be so out of shape that we didn't even make it. We took a break and went again for even shorter. My last round ended when Andres hit me with a cabecada (headbutt), I fell over, he motioned for me to get back up, but I tapped out.
We reminisced how we were all in better shape 6 months ago. I blamed it on all of us focusing on getting in shape for Monster Massive (the Halloween rave) and once that was over, we had no more motivation. Andres suggested the following diet for me: Broccoli, tomatoes, carrots, spinach, avocadoes, egg whites, nuts (not roasted), chicken breasts, apples, and bananas.
Went home way early and ended the night with Dancing with the Stars and WWE Raw featuring "The Heartbreak Kid" (HBK) Shawn Michael's retirement speech.
I had Filipino Martial Arts training today at 10:30AM. I thought Guro was late, but it turned out I was waiting in the wrong part of the park. Whoops.
- Double stick warm up.
- Stick in right hand and knife in left hand. Then vice versa. New info: Despite usually blocking attacker's weapon with my nearest weapon, when holding stick and knife, stick always blocks 1st and knife counters 2nd.
- Combo: Parry, straight palm strike, and 2 consecutive knee strikes.
- Drill: Parry and straight palm strike, back and forth, over and over again. To switch sides: Outside parry, grab forearm with same parrying hand (simultaneously switching lead foot), continue.
I went home, watched some Fast and Furious on TV, Guro asked me to help him make a Martial Arts DVD, and then it was off to Capoeira training.
Only Andres, Jesse II, and Carlito showed up. We did our workout with the bars outdoors. We were locked out of the recreation room with no contact from management. Class was basically a game where we were shooting for 5 minutes, but turned out to be so out of shape that we didn't even make it. We took a break and went again for even shorter. My last round ended when Andres hit me with a cabecada (headbutt), I fell over, he motioned for me to get back up, but I tapped out.
We reminisced how we were all in better shape 6 months ago. I blamed it on all of us focusing on getting in shape for Monster Massive (the Halloween rave) and once that was over, we had no more motivation. Andres suggested the following diet for me: Broccoli, tomatoes, carrots, spinach, avocadoes, egg whites, nuts (not roasted), chicken breasts, apples, and bananas.
Went home way early and ended the night with Dancing with the Stars and WWE Raw featuring "The Heartbreak Kid" (HBK) Shawn Michael's retirement speech.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
1 week from now, the database will finally be extracted.
While walking to Del Taco last night (or technically this morning), I commented on Morgan's Facebook page:
It was in reference to him telling us we could've boned that Caroline chick only AFTER she left the party. When I woke up this morning, Brandon and my new friend Allen had thumbs-up'd (or "liked") that comment.
I got to hang out with Matt for the 1st time since the PWG show last January when we watched Wrestlemania at his place.
My mommy and I ate at Cheesecake Factory. I tried their salisbury chopped steak for the 1st time with my usual raspberry lemonade while my mommy tried the New Orleans shrimps (which I tried last time).
But the point is: Our waitress, Taylor M. as the receipt would later say, was an OK-looking white chick with dirty blond hair in which only the top part was tied in a ponytail while the rest was down (don't know if there's a name for it). Oh what the heck, she's in my database. She wrote on the receipt, "Thanks. (Smiley face) Taylor." On the way out, I saw our waitress from last time. I believe her name's Anita. She's short like a girl should be without being a midget with a long, dark ponytail that could be fun to pull on during the ol' in-out. She's renewed in my database.
You fucked up. Other than that, I'm walking with you to Del Taco right now.
It was in reference to him telling us we could've boned that Caroline chick only AFTER she left the party. When I woke up this morning, Brandon and my new friend Allen had thumbs-up'd (or "liked") that comment.
I got to hang out with Matt for the 1st time since the PWG show last January when we watched Wrestlemania at his place.
My mommy and I ate at Cheesecake Factory. I tried their salisbury chopped steak for the 1st time with my usual raspberry lemonade while my mommy tried the New Orleans shrimps (which I tried last time).
But the point is: Our waitress, Taylor M. as the receipt would later say, was an OK-looking white chick with dirty blond hair in which only the top part was tied in a ponytail while the rest was down (don't know if there's a name for it). Oh what the heck, she's in my database. She wrote on the receipt, "Thanks. (Smiley face) Taylor." On the way out, I saw our waitress from last time. I believe her name's Anita. She's short like a girl should be without being a midget with a long, dark ponytail that could be fun to pull on during the ol' in-out. She's renewed in my database.
Just another database Saturday
Yesterday, I finally heard from Eugene. He says he and Stef are having a play next week.
I stopped by the Great Earth to ask more questions. I found out that annoying kid Emmanuel now goes there everyday and annoys the hell out of them too.
I visited Brian and Iam at the GNC. Haven't seen them working the same shift together in a long time. Johnny stopped by, sharply dressed. We recounted how Brian and I were trying to save him from his brother's gang troubles that he inherited right before I left for the Philippines. He had to fight 2 cholos with shaved heads. As I predicted, they threw nothing but right haymakers and straight kicks.
JOHNNY: I gotta go to a job interview. The chick interviewing me is really cute.
BRIAN: Where?
JOHNNY: Some jewelry store I used to steal from.
Arthur, whom I can't remember when was the last time I saw him, texted to check up on me. Then Mark texted me ...
MARK: Have you seen Allison pics lately? Your girl has gained weight! But I know you likey
(Allison's a raver chick from Palmdale that I like to bust a #3 to.)
RYAN: Not lately. She texted me a couple of weeks ago to ask if I was going to Beyond Wonderland. I wasn't. But nevertheless, I got a boner from her texting me.
I brought Sam Adams Cherry Wheat to Brandon, Morgan and Hasel's place for UFC 111. But as much as they like Sam Adams, Cherry Wheat is their least favorite with Morgan describing it as ...
MORGAN: It taste as if you left a fat chick on a deserted island, fed her nothing but cherries for a year, and came back to tongue her asshole.
RYAN: Well then this is good asshole.
It made me miss Carlos since he appreciated Cherry Wheat. Speaking of which, Carlos texted me from Arizona since he's there for Wrestlemania to tell me that he was watching Jack Evans. Lucky.
Then that aforementioned raver chick, Allison, texted me (albeit everyone else as well) about a Drum & Bass event going on. I texted Mark back ...
RYAN: Speak of the devil. I just got a text from her a while ago (although it was a mass text) about some D&B event tonight. I can so jack off to her texting me.
MARK: Hahaha
Anyway, Brandon, Morgan, and Hasel were throwing a BDay party for their bff Sidney's girlfriend.
SIDNEY: (talking to me) You know what's fucked up? I'm half-Hawaiian. They told me, "If only you were full Pacific Islander, you'd look like Ryan."
After Caroline left ...
MORGAN: You know that girl with the short hair, smoking a pipe ...
RYAN: Caroline?
MORGAN: Yeah! Dudes, you so could've boned that chick.
RYAN: You're only telling us this NOW???
MORGAN: I know, I fucked up!
Morgan, their other roommate and his friend, and I walked to Del Taco at 3:00AM. Their roommate's friend found a Martial Arts orange belt in the street and wore it. At Del Taco, he drunkenly asked for the "red belt discount" (apparently he's color blind) for the "red belt combo." Morgan apologized for this.
CASHIER: I've seen worse. I've seen someone in a Wheeties Box costume skateboarding up and down our drive thru and just planted himself on someone's car.
Morgan bought me burritos. I showed him a Jon Lajoie video and went home at 5:00AM.
I stopped by the Great Earth to ask more questions. I found out that annoying kid Emmanuel now goes there everyday and annoys the hell out of them too.
I visited Brian and Iam at the GNC. Haven't seen them working the same shift together in a long time. Johnny stopped by, sharply dressed. We recounted how Brian and I were trying to save him from his brother's gang troubles that he inherited right before I left for the Philippines. He had to fight 2 cholos with shaved heads. As I predicted, they threw nothing but right haymakers and straight kicks.
JOHNNY: I gotta go to a job interview. The chick interviewing me is really cute.
BRIAN: Where?
JOHNNY: Some jewelry store I used to steal from.
Arthur, whom I can't remember when was the last time I saw him, texted to check up on me. Then Mark texted me ...
MARK: Have you seen Allison pics lately? Your girl has gained weight! But I know you likey
(Allison's a raver chick from Palmdale that I like to bust a #3 to.)
RYAN: Not lately. She texted me a couple of weeks ago to ask if I was going to Beyond Wonderland. I wasn't. But nevertheless, I got a boner from her texting me.
I brought Sam Adams Cherry Wheat to Brandon, Morgan and Hasel's place for UFC 111. But as much as they like Sam Adams, Cherry Wheat is their least favorite with Morgan describing it as ...
MORGAN: It taste as if you left a fat chick on a deserted island, fed her nothing but cherries for a year, and came back to tongue her asshole.
RYAN: Well then this is good asshole.
It made me miss Carlos since he appreciated Cherry Wheat. Speaking of which, Carlos texted me from Arizona since he's there for Wrestlemania to tell me that he was watching Jack Evans. Lucky.
Then that aforementioned raver chick, Allison, texted me (albeit everyone else as well) about a Drum & Bass event going on. I texted Mark back ...
RYAN: Speak of the devil. I just got a text from her a while ago (although it was a mass text) about some D&B event tonight. I can so jack off to her texting me.
MARK: Hahaha
Anyway, Brandon, Morgan, and Hasel were throwing a BDay party for their bff Sidney's girlfriend.
- The new dudes I met said I looked "ripped," but I modestly said I'm in my fat season.
- There was this emo-looking, eyeglasses-wearing actor named Allen who offered to keep in contact with me for advice.
- This chick named Odais walked in with a douchebag-looking boyfriend. Odais was automatically in everyone's database. Her bf was "straight edge" and looked out of place.
- In a surprise twist, it turns out Allen fucked Odais in the past. That was a secret among everyone that we kept from her douchebag bf, which we made fun of him for.
- There was this chick named Caroline, who would come into play later.
- I was wearing my Alice Cullen shirt and someone said I had balls wearing it, but everyone agreed there was nothing gay about having a hot chick on your shirt. We then looked at the naked Ashley Green pics on Morgan's computer.
SIDNEY: (talking to me) You know what's fucked up? I'm half-Hawaiian. They told me, "If only you were full Pacific Islander, you'd look like Ryan."
After Caroline left ...
MORGAN: You know that girl with the short hair, smoking a pipe ...
RYAN: Caroline?
MORGAN: Yeah! Dudes, you so could've boned that chick.
RYAN: You're only telling us this NOW???
MORGAN: I know, I fucked up!
Morgan, their other roommate and his friend, and I walked to Del Taco at 3:00AM. Their roommate's friend found a Martial Arts orange belt in the street and wore it. At Del Taco, he drunkenly asked for the "red belt discount" (apparently he's color blind) for the "red belt combo." Morgan apologized for this.
CASHIER: I've seen worse. I've seen someone in a Wheeties Box costume skateboarding up and down our drive thru and just planted himself on someone's car.
Morgan bought me burritos. I showed him a Jon Lajoie video and went home at 5:00AM.
Friday, March 26, 2010
TJ liked my Facebook status about Rob Pattinson getting killed off by 9/11 being an offensive ending. But everyone else was pissed.
Capoeira class today: Andres, Jesse II, Diana, Louis, Carlito, Angel and the usual little kids on Friday. Today was the little kids' last day as they were signed up through a program by the park's recreation center. I walked in late and stretched by myself. My splits are starting to come back!
DIANA: You're more flexible than me! And I'm a girl! I'm supposed to be more flexible!
The 1st and only combo drilled: Meia lua de frente (front arch kick), armada (spin kick), and au (cartwheel).
We split the roda (circle of people) into 2. Carlito, Angel and I each selected 2 random little kids to form our own roda. The only 2 moves allowed were au and cabecada (headbutt). The contest: To sing louder than the other roda. My roda won. The prize: The other roda had to do push-ups for us!
ANDRES: Feel free to point and laugh at them!
My roda pointed and laughed at them.
RYAN: (sarcastically) Ho, ho, ho. Tee, hee, hee.
The 2nd round: It was even. Then we reunited into 1 roda, but every game was still a "big boy" versus a little kid.
Then the little kids went home, but Vanessa stayed because she's big enough. There was a lot of tension, but good energy. Jesse II and Carlito had a match that was like straight out of a martial arts movie. I landed 2 kicks on Diana when she hesitated. Angel's foot got stuck on my shoulder when he kicked a martelo (roundhouse), so I went for the sweep. Later, Angel took me down. Then I jokingly uppercutted his groin when he kicked another martelo. Then I faked a quexiada, but snapped up my heel into his groin.
ANDRES: What the hell was that?
RYAN: Was it cool?
ANDRES: No!
Vanessa started crying. At 1st, we accused Diana of kicking her too hard because she was the last one in there with her. But it turned out that it was Carlito, who played her before Diana did, who went too hard on her. A mini-lecture ensued.
RYAN: I promise no more crotch-shots.
ANGEL: That's poison!
RYAN: I hope we're good.
ANGEL: We're good, we're good.
Then we got sidetracked like a motherfucker. We were supposed to introduce ourselves to Vanessa to make sure she knew all our names. Louis went 1st. Then Angel. I was 3rd.
RYAN: Jacob. No, it's Ryan.
Andres was then able to tell Vanessa is a Twilight fan. And that's when we never came back to our original subject. Andres went on a tangent about how the books were better than the movie adaptations and why. But he blamed getting sidetracked on us!
ANDRES: You guys go off on so many tangents and I have to defend myself on so many different angles ...
EVERYONE: [talking all at once]
LOUIS: This all started when Ryan said his name's Jacob ...
RYAN: Don't remind him!
ANDRES: The point is that society is superficial.
[Everyone has a WTF look on their faces, even me]
ANDRES: All people care about are like those teens in the movies, caring about what you have and what you look like, that they don't care about who you are ...
[Diana goes to sit down]
ANDRES: And my mestre would lecture us for 3 hours if he saw something like that (Diana leaving to sit). And he would be right-- Well, not right about making us sit for 3 hours, but blah, blah, blah (at Vanessa) But that's why we call him (me) Jacob.
Wow. Just ... wow. End of class. Louis actually snapped at Andres for yelling at him about what to do while he was in the roda earlier. Andres revealed he didn't play because his small toe might be broken.
Went to the Red Robin to renew Jazz in my database. I discreetly jerked myself just one time to celebrate victory. Her bangs usually fall to the left, but it looked emo today. I ran into Saul at the In-N-Out. Came home to watch WWE Smackdown.
Now I'm just watching Spartacus: Blood and Sand and Xena ... er, Lucy Lawless ... is showing her tits. Now there's a softcore porn scene. Now a child heir to royalty is about to get laid. Oh happy day!
DIANA: You're more flexible than me! And I'm a girl! I'm supposed to be more flexible!
The 1st and only combo drilled: Meia lua de frente (front arch kick), armada (spin kick), and au (cartwheel).
We split the roda (circle of people) into 2. Carlito, Angel and I each selected 2 random little kids to form our own roda. The only 2 moves allowed were au and cabecada (headbutt). The contest: To sing louder than the other roda. My roda won. The prize: The other roda had to do push-ups for us!
ANDRES: Feel free to point and laugh at them!
My roda pointed and laughed at them.
RYAN: (sarcastically) Ho, ho, ho. Tee, hee, hee.
The 2nd round: It was even. Then we reunited into 1 roda, but every game was still a "big boy" versus a little kid.
Then the little kids went home, but Vanessa stayed because she's big enough. There was a lot of tension, but good energy. Jesse II and Carlito had a match that was like straight out of a martial arts movie. I landed 2 kicks on Diana when she hesitated. Angel's foot got stuck on my shoulder when he kicked a martelo (roundhouse), so I went for the sweep. Later, Angel took me down. Then I jokingly uppercutted his groin when he kicked another martelo. Then I faked a quexiada, but snapped up my heel into his groin.
ANDRES: What the hell was that?
RYAN: Was it cool?
ANDRES: No!
Vanessa started crying. At 1st, we accused Diana of kicking her too hard because she was the last one in there with her. But it turned out that it was Carlito, who played her before Diana did, who went too hard on her. A mini-lecture ensued.
RYAN: I promise no more crotch-shots.
ANGEL: That's poison!
RYAN: I hope we're good.
ANGEL: We're good, we're good.
Then we got sidetracked like a motherfucker. We were supposed to introduce ourselves to Vanessa to make sure she knew all our names. Louis went 1st. Then Angel. I was 3rd.
RYAN: Jacob. No, it's Ryan.
Andres was then able to tell Vanessa is a Twilight fan. And that's when we never came back to our original subject. Andres went on a tangent about how the books were better than the movie adaptations and why. But he blamed getting sidetracked on us!
ANDRES: You guys go off on so many tangents and I have to defend myself on so many different angles ...
EVERYONE: [talking all at once]
LOUIS: This all started when Ryan said his name's Jacob ...
RYAN: Don't remind him!
ANDRES: The point is that society is superficial.
[Everyone has a WTF look on their faces, even me]
ANDRES: All people care about are like those teens in the movies, caring about what you have and what you look like, that they don't care about who you are ...
[Diana goes to sit down]
ANDRES: And my mestre would lecture us for 3 hours if he saw something like that (Diana leaving to sit). And he would be right-- Well, not right about making us sit for 3 hours, but blah, blah, blah (at Vanessa) But that's why we call him (me) Jacob.
Wow. Just ... wow. End of class. Louis actually snapped at Andres for yelling at him about what to do while he was in the roda earlier. Andres revealed he didn't play because his small toe might be broken.
Went to the Red Robin to renew Jazz in my database. I discreetly jerked myself just one time to celebrate victory. Her bangs usually fall to the left, but it looked emo today. I ran into Saul at the In-N-Out. Came home to watch WWE Smackdown.
Now I'm just watching Spartacus: Blood and Sand and Xena ... er, Lucy Lawless ... is showing her tits. Now there's a softcore porn scene. Now a child heir to royalty is about to get laid. Oh happy day!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
They ended it with Robert Pattinson dying in the twin towers on 9/11? Seriously?
I thought I was late when I ran inside the AMC to watch Alice in Wonderland at 11:55AM. But when I got there, they were showing the wrong movie - Our Family Wedding, or "that interracial movie" as it was referred to by some black dude who was looking for it. So we were given free movie passes for the inconvenience as the employees relocated us to the correct auditorium and started the movie late. And even then, there was one point where the film slipped off the spool in the projecton booth!
I was late sneaking into Green Zone, which started at 1:55PM. But according to Wikipedia later, I didn't miss much. Then I snuck into Repo Men at 4:20PM. This was my favorite of the day. But then I ended it with that new Robert Pattinson movie called Remember Me at 6:25PM ... and that ruined my day! It was fuckin' offensive how they used 9/11 to kill off Pattinson's character in the WTC to illicit sympathy from the audience!
SOME BLACK WOMAN: (regarding the above) WAS THAT NECESSARY?
And I think one of the higher-ups working there was an old Creative Writing classmate from CSUN. If so, his name's Nelson, but I remember him as the only one who laughed at my line, "She wasn't fat, but just baby fat that fell in the right places."
I was late sneaking into Green Zone, which started at 1:55PM. But according to Wikipedia later, I didn't miss much. Then I snuck into Repo Men at 4:20PM. This was my favorite of the day. But then I ended it with that new Robert Pattinson movie called Remember Me at 6:25PM ... and that ruined my day! It was fuckin' offensive how they used 9/11 to kill off Pattinson's character in the WTC to illicit sympathy from the audience!
SOME BLACK WOMAN: (regarding the above) WAS THAT NECESSARY?
And I think one of the higher-ups working there was an old Creative Writing classmate from CSUN. If so, his name's Nelson, but I remember him as the only one who laughed at my line, "She wasn't fat, but just baby fat that fell in the right places."
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