1st time seeing her with a headband, so I busted a #3 to her ... Twice.

I ran for half an hour on the treadmill at the gym. Man I was drenched.

I watched an all new Degrassi before heading to do reconnaissance at the Red Robin. Jazz was there and it was my 1st time seeing her with a headband. It was a sparkly headband. I was able to see more of her face for the 1st time because she always has bangs. This new 1st impression gave me a massive boner.

I got home in time for an all new Smallville. This episode featured the return of Annette O'Toole as Clark Kent/Superman's mom Martha Kent. I once saw a video clip of Annette O'Toole topless in some movie when she was younger. She's much older now, but I'd still hit it.

Then caught the 2nd hour of WWE Smackdown before finishing the night with busting a #3 to Jazz ... Twice. And then I even added Jackie from my LSAT class.

Randomly remembered Barbara today

I did my 14th day of this current heavy lifting regiment at the gym.

I remembered an old friend named Barbara and busted a #3 to her.

I ate a Subway sandwich before going to my LSAT class. I sat where Jackie normally sits in the front because she wasn't there yet when I got there (even though I arrived 25 minutes late). When Jackie arrived, she sat at the back alone. Wow. Just, wow. She's always been introverted. I'm busting a #3 to her next time with a rough sex scenario as punishment for her introvertedness.

SISSY: What kind of a question stem is this? (Referring to a 4 star/difficult question)
BRADY: Fucked.
JUAN: Conversational blue balls.
SISSY: You two are on a time-out tonight!

Oh, and this other guy Mike (not to be confused with the other Mike I ran into yesterday) says that Wahoo's Fish Tacos across the street has $2 Tecate beers. Other than that, Beatrize and Ginger were both absent. Boo. Hopefully they show up Saturday so I can renew them in my database.

Hooray for Mexicans making frenchies cry

Happy Cinco de Drinko. I started the day with watching last night's Glee on Hulu.com.

I burned 493.7 calories at the gym in a distance of 4.70 miles. Some songs on the sound system that helped were Pat Benatar's All Fired Up, Kenny Loggins' Danger Zone, and Billy Joel's We Didn't Start the Fire.

I saw Mike, an old acting classmate of mine, at the gym. He shared that he went to Pepperdine for law school back in 2001, but it took him 2 years to realize it wasn't for him and he dropped out.

I took a practice LSAT exam at home. It was horrible because I kept getting interrupted by phone calls.

Then found out that my lesbian friends Judy and Lauren broke up! But they're married! They can't break up! But they did.

I ended the night with American Idol and The Ultimate Fighter.

Procrastination made no difference

After taking an extended weekend break, I returned to the gym to do my 13th day of this new heavy lifting regiment.

I temporarily rescheduled all my guitar practices to 3:30PM on Fridays. Worked on my LSAT homework. Finally decided to register for the LSAT exam on June 7 ... since today was the deadline. Found out I had to register for the Law School Admissions Council (LSAC) first. Ok. Did that. At least that was free. Then was able to register for the LSAT ... and that damn registration was $136! I was supposed to register as soon as possible in case the locations closest to my house filled up quickly. But ironically, the only location that was still available was the closest to my house. So procrastination is not always bad. Then went to my LSAT prep class.

SISSY: Everyone welcome Ryan back to the real world. (Referring to my Birthday weekend.)

JANIE: So how was your Birthday?
RYAN: (Sigh) Too much fun.
JANIE: I've never heard that one before.
(Well she must be sheltered.)

After class, I told Ben about my Saturday (Birthday).

RYAN: So this bartender made his hot wife kiss me. And then he was like, "That was sloppy. Do it again." So she kissed me again, better. And then I walked in on my friend Richard having a conversation with his friends - a boyfriend/girlfriend couple - where the dude said, "Rich, we're gonna get you laid. If we fail, my girlfriend will just have sex with you."
BEN: Quite the liberal bar.

Just another Tuesday night ending with WWE NXT, a.k.a. "The American Dragon" Bryan "Daniel Bryan" Danielson Show.

The mother of a girl I used to bust a #3 to inadvertently talked me off

Guro and I had Filipino Martial Arts (FMA) training at 10:30AM. I basically learned 3 counters plus 1 disarm for every angle of attack, all of which I'll have to know for my Basics Instructor rank. And then reviewed Lock and Block.

RYAN: [Fan blocks a stick shot aimed at groin]
GURO: And what is that called?
RYAN: Jon taught it to me as "the Oh Shit" block.
GURO: Ok, that sounds like something Jon would come up with.

And then, the most awkward moment happened:

Remember last summer when I was videotaping rock bands at a house party and I started talking to Salina, a singer for one of the bands? Well, I was busting a #3 when Salina's mom called me up out of the blue! She was hiring me to record one of their upcoming performances. I didn't want to risk blue balls, so I couldn't stop. But I didn't want to finish to this either, so I slowed down. It was just fucked up that I had done this, busting a #3, to her daughter before!

RYAN: I just had the most fucked up moment. Remember how I was working for these bands last summer?
MATT: Yeah, that singer chick, right?
RYAN: Exactly! Her mom just called me up while I was masturbating!
MATT: You didn't stop, did you?
RYAN: No, I didn't wanna risk blue balls, so I had to handle the entire business phone call while masturbating!

Sissy pushed our LSAT tutoring back one hour to 4:30PM.

SISSY: So how was your Birthday?
RYAN: I have gaps in memory here and there.
SISSY: I expected you to say something like, "I don't recall."

My mommy was craving Rubio's Mexican food, so we ate there. Same workers were working. They know us by now. But I tried a steak burrito instead of my usual enchilada plate. I mall-ratted at the Americana before going home for WWE Raw.

The day after my Birthday

I was so damn hungover. My mommy and I went to church really late. Ate lunch at Burger King. Took a nap. Felt better. Then went to Sizzlers in Northridge for dinner with the rest of the family. The staff sang Happy Birthday to me. Yay. Cousin Kristian and I rode in cousin Kathy's BMW "like gangsters" to hang out at cousins Janine and Jillian's house while the women shopped at Walmart. Yeah, today was just a come-down day.

Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday to me, Happy Birthday dear me, Happy Birthday to me

You know what's awesome? Busting a #3 while so wasted that your penis is almost numb, so you last a lot longer.

I arrived at my LSAT class at 11:30AM (it started at 10:00AM), proudly in my pajamas AND carrying cupcakes! I was able to spot Ben smiling at me through the tinted windows. I ran into Beatrize in the hallway.

BEATRIZE: Hey, you're late.
(Oh, like she's one to talk. She's arrived at noon for this 10:00 class.)
RYAN: It's my Birthday.
BEATRIZE: It's your Birthday? [Hugs me.]
I got a boner.
RYAN: I'm hungover.
BEATRIZE: I can tell. [On her phone] There's this guy in my class, it's his Birthday and he brought us cupcakes. He's so sweet.
RYAN: Yes, I am.

I walked into class ...

EVERYONE: HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

That seriously startled me. Ben had arranged that.

VANESSA: I like your Ralph Lauren pajamas.
RYAN: Thanks.
GINGER: Are these cupcakes gonna make class more fun?
RYAN: Why, yes they are.

I wouldn't tell anyone how old I was.

BEN: He's 19.
SISSY: He can't be. He was drunk!
GINGER: That doesn't mean anything!
SISSY: Wait a minute, a whole room of wannabe-lawyers can't --
BRADY: We're defense attorneys.
SISSY: But you shouldn't have to defend yourselves.

Then I slept-walked through our quiz. I kept getting text messages greeting me. Ben sung his rendition of Birthday Text to the tune of Birthday Sex.

SISSY: Did you finish your quiz?
RYAN: No.
SISSY: Did you even start?
RYAN: Yeah, yeah.
SISSY: Just making sure.

JACKIE: Did you make these?
RYAN: Well, I put extra sprinkling on them, so I guess I can take some credit.
JACKIE: These are really good!

Score!

Mommy and I went to Olive Garden for lunch. Our waitress' name was Sofya P (according to the receipt). She was really cute in that girl-next-door sort of way. She's in my database. She even sang Happy Birthday to me and volunteered to take my pics with my cake with my camera phone. I need to honor her by blowing the hugest load to her.

I went to circle around the Red Robin and saw Jazz. Now it's a Birthday! She's renewed in my database.

Richard took me to a bar called The Scene in North Hollywood. It has the coolest bartender/owner. His name's Doc. He gave me a free shot of Jager ("You're doing Jager whether you like it or not!") to start my night and later a free beer on tap to end my night. Other than an Incredible Hulk, I can't remember the other drinks I had. But there were many. Richard introduced me to two more of his friends - Brian (obviously not the same as Brian at the GNC) and Karren - a boyfriend/girlfriend couple. Karren bought me a drink.

BRIAN: Guess what I did for my Birthday?
KARREN: He had a 3-some.
RYAN: How the hell do I have a 3-some one time, but not for my Birthday?
BRIAN: You need to get a bisexual girlfriend.

This cool guy named Garry was bashing people's song choices on kareoke. This lesbian was wearing a Kid Rock shirt and rocked some Kid Rock on kareoke. And then there was some blond chick in a blue blouse, short shorts, and boots.

BRIAN: She's hot.
RYAN: She's so in my database.
KARREN: [Laughs.]
BRIAN: You mean your spank bank?

BRIAN: Richard, we need to get you laid this one night. If we fail, Karren will just have sex with you.

Then I met Doc's wife Bonnie.

DOC: Do you have a girlfriend?
RYAN: Define "girlfriend."
BONNIE: I like that!

And then Doc made his hot wife Bonnie kiss me for my Birthday.

DOC: That was sloppy! Do it again!

Twice.

Richard and I took Brian and Karren home, pulled over somewhere to pee and throw up, and I passed out at home before I can even extract my database. Boo.