Steve's girlfriend at Coachella = Boys' night out

I went to Church so that I wouldn't have to go tomorrow. I did a quick database run before rushing to Auntie Carrissa's Birthday party. Only Leah at Hot Topic was working and she was rocking these black, huge framed glasses. She looked like a nerd rocking out to whatever their sound system was blasting.

I gave Auntie Carrissa her present: a check from my mommy and a card that I made up with a sheet of printer paper and a green pen. Cousin Andree was in town from Las Vegas. Cousin Janine seemed grounded in her room. Why? Because she's not allowed to drive in the dark. Seriously. And the sun had gone down while she and cousin Jillian went to get ice cream. I had to drink one MGM light beer out of respect. Ew. Food was better than usual.

I left early to meet up with Steve, who conveniently lives two streets down. His girlfriend was at Coachella, so it was boys' night out. And apparently, he fails to keep in contact with his cousin Arthur that I ended up telling him the news that Arthur and Mayra are expecting a baby ...

STEVE: HE'S HAVING A BABY?!?!
RYAN: Wait! Let me get my video camera out. [Turns it on.] OK, it's rolling.
STEVE: HE'S HAVING A BABY?! HOW THE FUCK DID THAT HAPPEN-- Well, I know how that happened [Rolls eyes], but-- [Looking into my camera] ARE YOU MARRIED?!

So at Spearmint Rhino ... we were bored. This stripper from four or five years ago then known as "Daisy" was back as "Angela." She targeted Steve as he used to be her regular customer. This one chick from last time was still there and pestering me to buy lap dances from her. There was one chick who vaguely looked like a high maintenance Ashley Greene, one who looked like a random chick I've seen in amateur porn, and some long, brown-haired white girl that I might have to bust a #3 to.

We reminisced about Steve's stripper ex-girlfriend and her stripper younger sister Raquel to Steve's chagrin. Specifically, we brought up Raquel's overly self-conscious Birthday lap dance to me.

STEVE: You know [Raquel] asked me, "Did I freak out your friend when I brought up my spray-on tan?" And I was like, "Probably. What were you thinking?" And she said, "I don't know." And I thought to myself, You're an airhead!

At home, I was indecisive again before finally busting a #3 to Andrea.