I'm like Eminem in 8 Mile, but as a guitarist

I burned about 300 calories (according to the treadmill) running for half an hour at a distance of 2.88 miles. I wonder if these things are accurate.

I rocked at guitar practice. Mental note: Ask him next week to teach me Beatles' Black Bird.

I watched the season finale of Degrassi.

With Smallville going on break for the summer after last week's geekgasmic season finale, I have Friday nights again. (Whoops, I forgot to watch WWE Smackdown. Oh well.) So ...

I did reconnaissance around the Red Robin. Jazz was working tonight. Normally her bangs fall to the left, but tonight she had a clip that made it go right. Cute. I see she gets to snack on a free burger during her break time. That's all in my database.

I visited Salina's parents to help them transfer the footage I shot of their band's performance last week onto their computer. Fail. Something's wrong with their computer. So we hung out:

• I missed their daughter Sable, who likes to cook and made a mess without cleaning it up. I met her last week and she was aight-looking.
• They offered some Dragon OG, but I had to tell them I quit.
• They think college suckers people and that educational institutions don't teach kids how the monetary system works and today's "children are screwed because of it."
• They went to college in their 30s.
• The fish tacos they gave me were made from fish that they caught themselves.
• I met their granddaughter, but I'm not sure which one of their kids is the mom (probably Salina's daughter).
• Apparently, I can't play guitar unless it's acoustic and not in front of people. That was embarrassing.
• They're concerned that my answer to why I'm alone on a Friday night and with no girlfriend is because I'm too busy studying.

I went home and rediscovered porn star Bailey O'Dare. Then stumbled onto the facebook of this chick instructor who was described as a "real animal" (see entry 2/3/10) and whom I trained under for one session. They're both in my database. I ended the night by extracting the database.

We had to teach our LSAT prep teacher what THC is

Mental note for future payback: Some douchebag by the number of (815) 641-8413, who dialed me as the wrong number, woke me up twice at 5 in the morning.

I did my 21st day of my heavy lifting regiment at the gym. That's 21 days. Time to look for a new regiment to begin on Saturday (tomorrow is recovery day). Surprisingly, I got stuck a couple of times lifting the weight (during military presses and then dumbbell presses) and the dudes courteous enough to help me each time were ... armenian! I guess this changes my outlook on armenians ... until the next time one of them puts my life in danger again committing a traffic violation.

Oh, and Salina's mom called me up.

By the way, I have to brag about my meals today:

Meal 1: Cereal in milk, banana.
Meal 2: Energy bar, green tea.
Meal 3: Salmon (sinigang, Filipino dish).
Meal 4: Chicken, green tea.
Meal 5: Hard boiled eggs, raspberry iced tea.
Meal 6: Almonds, apple.
Meal 7: Steak.
Meal 8: Greek yogurt (20g protein, 9g carbohydrates).

I went to my LSAT prep class in my green striped shirt that shows off my muscles. Beatrize is STILL absent. But Jackie and Ginger were there for renewal in my database. Lucine is still OK looking. Oh, and somehow Juan found Sissy's drawing of an "R" and an "S" as one letter "pornographic." I caught Mike converting all R's and S's on the board as such during the break.

SISSY: On to section 5-- I have the giggles for some reason.
BRADY: There must be THC in the air.
SISSY: What's that?
GINGER: [Rolls eyes] It's the main chemical ingredient in pot that gets you high.
SISSY: Blah, blah, blah--
GINGER: [Rolls eyes] --Section 5!

Aw, how cute. Ginger comes off as the serious, clean cut type.

RYAN: I notice the board looks more "pornographic."
SISSY: What did you guys do to my board?!
GINGER: (At me) That's all you have to say?

Yes! She looked at me and said words to me! That's, like, verbal sex! Score!

SISSY: You did it to my name!

Dream On

I began the day with watching last night's Glee on Hulu.com. It guest starred Neil Patrick Harris and I had no idea he could sing so well.

Then I burned about 400-500 calories over a simulated distance of 4-5 miles (according to the treadmill) at the gym. I saw Cat, one of the personal trainers, whom I haven't busted a #3 to in a long time. It's good to recycle old faces in the database every now and then.

My mommy and I ate at Rubio's. Cops were circling the area. Weird.

1 Year Anniversary since "Judgment Day"

1 year ago today, the cunt Fox network decided not to renew Terminator: the Sarah Connor Chronicles. A moment of silence please.

Morgan called me up while I was stretching to Kelly Clarkson. Morgan shared that he busted a #3 to these chicks that were sunbathing by the pool while he was "baked."

I did my 20th day of my current heavy lifting regiment at the gym. Only one more day of this before I begin a new regiment. Again, I figured 21 days is a nice time period.

Since I no longer needed all that testosterone afterward, I busted a #3 to that waitress at Pat & Oscar's from yesterday, then to that blond waitress at Cafe O from last Friday, and finally to Lucine.

I went to my LSAT prep class. Ben revealed the reason he missed the "Ultimate" practice test yesterday was because he assumed it was at night. I sat further away from Sissy because she felt like she was coming down with some sickness. Ginger was the only jackoffable chick tonight. Beatrize was still absent. Jackie wasn't there. But good news: I FINALLY completed all the questions in a section (in this case, Logical Reasoning) before the time limit!

Also, Vanessa brought a tub of chocolate chip cookies for everyone. I overheard her say they were from Trader Joe's and they have more chocolate chips per cookie than normal chocolate chip cookies. Oh, and then she gave me half her orange. And then put the sticker from her orange onto my jacket. Yeah, I think she's digging more than my hair. And that brings me back to the question I asked Brian yesterday: Would you have sex with someone you're not attracted to, but she's not ugly?

I ended the night with WWE NXT.

Would you have sex with someone you're not attracted to, but she's not ugly?

Well, typos suck. We had an "ultimate" LSAT practice test today that's supposed to simulate the real thing. That's the reason why most of the class didn't show up for the practice test yesterday. The "ticket" that I was supposed to print out said to show up no later than 7:45AM. I woke up early to call them to confirm. It turns out that the office isn't even open until 10:00AM. Yup, a typo. I showed up at 11:30 as discussed. Vanessa mentioned she did her yoga to prepare.

NICK: You ready to go back-to-back [for practice tests]?
RYAN: (Unenthusiastically) Yup.

VANESSA: If I did the practice test yesterday and showed up today, I would've felt like killing people.

I'm starting to notice that this chick named Lucine is also kind of jackoffable. The only thing that sucks about sitting at the front all the time is notcing these things late. She's armo, though. That wouldn't stop me. But again, I'd only hit it out of spite.

Mental note #1: They recommend Gatorade on test day.

Mental note #2: Vanessa was wearing Joe Boxer pants that made either her hips or ass look wide. This led me to ...

I caught up with Brian at the GNC to catch up.

RYAN: Would you have sex with someone you're not attracted to, but she's not ugly?
CUSTOMER: Do it.
BRIAN: Yeah.
CUSTOMER: Does she have big tits and ass?
RYAN: Um, ass.
CUSTOMER: Go for it.

I met with my mommy at Costco and then we ate dinner at Pat & Oscars. The waitress was jackoffable. It looked like she used to have a mohawk, but was now growing her hair back to a normal state, and the parts that were long enough were in a ponytail and clipped away from her eyes. Cute face too. And a brunette. She's in my database.

Ended the night with WWE Raw.

Mommy wanted to fight me over church

I managed to wake up and feel well rested for a practice test in my LSAT class. But we got screwed out of time because the ditzy proctor kept rounding off the start and end times for each section.

Then went to gym ... which resulted in a long fight between my mommy and I because she tried to force me to go to church instead, refusing to let her dragging me to church with her last Wednesday fulfill my weekly requirement of going.

I did my 19th day of my current heavy lifting regiment at the gym. Then came home to eat and called it a night.

Watched Salina's mom (who's technically a grandma) make out with her chick friend

I went to my LSAT prep class in the morning. As I was driving around the corner of the building, I noticed Ginger crossing the street. She's normally in athletic gear like shorts and a hoodie and her hair in a ponytail. But this morning, she was more dressed up and her hair was down. "Oh baby," I said out loud as I started touching myself in my car.

Other than that, Beatrize was absent. And Jackie was uncharacteristically wearing way too much makeup.

After class, I stopped by Best Buy to buy some more tapes for tonight's gig only to remember afterward that I still had a few left. Then I took Ben's advice and slept the entire day until I had to leave for my gig at night to videotape that rockband (see entry 5-3-10).

Update:

• Salina no longer sings with the band as she had to relocate to Alabama because her estranged "husband" (which her mom pronounces with rolled eyes) got stationed there.
• Salina is pregnant, so I'm cockblocked for this summer. Boo.
• The band bought me a couple of Sam Adams Summer Ale on tap.
• I found out that Salina's mom and adopted dad have 5 kids all together.
• I met Salina's younger sister and she's not bad.
• The band has a new guitarist because their old guitarist lost his job and had to mave back with his mom in Las Vegas. (It's funny because the guitarist is late 30s/early 40s and living with his mom.)
• Salina's mom did a cover of Kelly Clarkson's Walk Away, which gave me chills.
• Salina's mom did a cover of Katy Perry's I Kissed A Girl during which she made out with one of her chick friends in the audience! (Keep in mind she's technically a grandma!)