Full circle: the strip club saga

I did only cardio at the gym. And I hate that Stair-Master, which I've only tried for the first time this week.

Jazz was working at the Red Robin. She was smiling when I was doing my reconnaissance. Ooh, I have just upgraded her as "Smiling Jazz" in my database.

I had to have Tiwat record Smallville for me because Steve wanted to leave early for the strip club, which we haven't been to since last year for his Birthday.

Recap of my history with Steve: His ex-girlfriend was a stripper named Reese. Reese had a younger sister named Raquel, who was also a stripper. Reese got so fed up of Raquel always third-wheeling them that she asked Steve, "Do you have any friends to keep her company?" And I was the fall guy. But it all ended when Steve broke up with Reese. And now, a new chapter of strip club related adventures ...

Some stripper, whose name I didn't get, hung out with Steve and I the whole night because she needed an excuse to avoid her stalker. She's our new friend. She filled us in on what goes down backstage (i.e. who's doing cocaine, who's a bitch, etc).

RYAN: (To stripper) Honestly, I just wanted to watch Smallville.

Strippers who actually propositioned us were named Taylor, Eva, Denise, Heidi, and Sandra.

A couple years ago, there was a stripper named Sandra who was stalking me. She was nice. Possibly Cuban. I think she became a dental assistant. But this Sandra tonight was different. She was a white chick with an ass like a black chick and with hair like Taylor Swift. She was the only one I put in my database.

I told Denise we were celebrating Steve's Birthday.

DENISE: How old are you?
STEVE: [Sigh.]
RYAN: [Laughs.]
DENISE: Getting up there, huh? Men get better with age.
STEVE: No, we don't.

Pornstar Shyla Stylez was supposed to perform the whole weekend, but got kicked out last night after trying to spit water into a guy's mouth, trying to get a guy to eat her out, fighting with the DJ, bitching at the strippers, being coked up, etc.

And then the start of potential drama: A stripper named Paris, whom Steve had the biggest crush on, came out of retirement. They began talking again. She also has a younger sister who just began as a stripper. They look so much alike that Steve can't even tell them apart. This saga with Steve might come full circle.