Some Craiglist chicks are legit

I did my 12th day of leg muscles and 7th day of abs at the gym.

The two sisters from my Bartending class cancelled on us because they were sick. Cockblock! It was just up to me and another classmate named David (not to be confused with rockband singer David) to practice our shot-pouring.

David's got a pitbull that he's trying to find a family for. The pitbull farts a lot. According to David, some chicks on Craigslist are legit. Here's a scenario that went down: according to David:

CRAIGSLIST CHICK: Are you a cop?
DAVID: No, I'm not a cop.
CRAIGSLIST: Prove it. Get naked.
[David gets naked.]
CRAIGSLIST CHICK: Ok, you're not a cop.

Chris and Heather were throwing a farewell party for Roxy and Gavin who are moving to Florida. On the phone:

RYAN: What'cha doin'?
HEATHER: Waiting for you and Mark to come.
[Supposedly hangs up]

On the way to pick up Mark because his car was out of order, I got a text from Heather that read:

Sorry I didn't call you back Vicky crashed my car. You coming?

At Chris and Heather's:

• I made my 1st shot: A mudslide!
• I made Irish Car Bombs for Mark, Chris, and I.
• My bff Kat was walking around topless and hugged me while I had no shirt on (because I was swimming).
• Vicky, who's only 16, was asking me questions about Hypnotiq.
• Heather: (At Vicky) You are not allowed to talk to Ryan! (Inside joke because of how I used to - used to - hook up with high schoolers.)

RYAN: Tell Naomi I said, "Hi."
HEATHER: (Laughing) I will.

Mark drove home. I fired up the porn and busted a #3.